Loss and Gain

Chapter 5

Harry lay groaning slightly in pain. His surgery had ended about five hours before, and the local anaesthetic had worn off almost completely. Leah had brought him pain killers of course, but it felt as though someone had nailed spikes into his calves, thighs, and knees. He been laying there in agony, unable to concentrate on anything but the pain.

He would lay there for what seemed to be an hour, and glance up at the clock on the wall and see that only four minutes had passed. He kept telling himself that he would not be able to go on for another minute, and then the minute would pass. He'd got a look at his legs when he was returned to his bed, and they were heavily bandaged. He kept imagining what horrors Dr. Park must have done to them during surgery.

Harry had stayed awake for the surgery, but he was unable to see anything. One of the nurses put on the radio softly in the background for him to listen, and given him a magazine, but he found it hard to concentrate on articles about the latest television hit shows when he knew that someone was cutting on his legs. The surgery lasted almost two hours, and Harry was extremely bored by the end of it.

He'd dozed awhile after being returned to bed, but then the pain in his legs began to mount and sleep became impossible. The only thing that Harry could do to manage not to scream was to think how bad being possessed was, and that this was nothing.

*****

On Wednesday of next week, Harry finally got better so felt like sitting up. He asked Leah to manoeuvre him in his wheel chair over to the window so he could look out. After staying awake for over twenty-four hours after his surgery, Harry slept all of that Sunday. He didn't realise until he woke on Monday that Sunday had been Christmas Day. A pile of presents was sitting on his window ledge. Leah told him that Arthur, Molly, Ron, and Ginny Weasley had come to visit him on Christmas, but he'd been asleep. They were the ones who left the presents.

Harry decided he would wait to open the presents until the person who sent it was present. He wasn't sure he was even up to opening them. He read out of the book Rehabilitation Methods for awhile.

Around 5 o'clock that evening, still in his wheel chair, Harry looked up to see two women on the threshold of the door. He did not recognise either of them at first, but then he noticed the bright red hair. It was Ginny, and looking more closely at the other he realised it was Hermione.

"Come in," he said quickly staring at them. Both of them looked different than the last time he'd seen them. Ginny was taller, and her face looked a bit more like Mrs. Weasley's then he remembered. Her red hair was cut to about chin-length. Hermione looked quite different too. Her hair was not as bushy as it'd been before, and she looked a little heavier then he remembered. Her face was the same, and both she and Ginny were comforting to look at.

"Hello, Harry," Ginny and Hermione said at the exact same time. They were staring at him too.

"You can see I put on my dress robes," he joked indicating the thin hospital garment he was wearing. The day before Lovell and Leah had removed the bandages, and revealed the large S-incisions that were all across his knees and legs. His legs stuck out from under his garment, and he noticed Hermione and Ginny staring at the ugly marks.

"You're so thin," Hermione said softly.

"It's not too bad," Harry said uncomfortably. He didn't like being stared at, and he felt exposed to the women's wondering eyes.

"It's so horrible it happened...." Ginny said trailing off.

Harry felt his defences rising. The night at the Ministry was the last subject he wanted to discuss right now. He decided to change the topic.

"I got your presents, but I didn't want to open them without you," He reached his arm out and grasped the present labelled to him from Ginny. "My nurse, Leah, said that you, Ron, and your parents came to visit me on Christmas. I'm sorry I wasn't awake."

"It's alright," Ginny said sounding distracted.

Harry slowly ripped the paper of the package, and realised it was small glowing ball. He stared at it for a second, not knowing what it was.

"What is it?" he asked curiously.

"It is a lot like a sneak-o-scope; when someone untrustworthy enters the room it will glow red, but it's charmed so to everyone else it looks like a small crystal ball. You can place it in almost anything, like the top of a walking stick." Ginny stopped talking abruptly as though she hadn't meant to bring up the fact that Harry might need a walking stick for the rest of his life.

"Thanks Ginny," he said staring at the little orb.

Hermione walked over, took her present from the pile, and handed it to him. Harry opened it assuming it would be some type of long, boring book. He was surprised to find it wasn't. It was a pensieve.

"You said that you wanted to be filled in on a lot of what has been happening since you left us. Ron, Neville, Remus, Ginny, and I put some of out good memories, as well as some of the bad into this pensieve." Hermione said quickly.

"Thank you, Hermione, Ginny, this stuff will help me pass a lot of time!" he said truly pleased. He couldn't wait for the chance to use the pensieve.

Ginny and Hermione stayed an hour longer and talked with Harry. They avoided the more painful subjects. Harry didn't particularly want to hear about Hermione's husband, but he was happy to listen to her stories about Davis. He also enjoyed Ginny telling him about Neville, and how he'd been so nervous proposing to her he accidentally did some accidental magic, and shot a Boyle spell that hit her on the nose. It felt good to laugh again.

Before they left they both reached down and hugged Harry before he could pull away. He fortunately did not see anything alarming. This time all he felt was a feeling of happiness, and he was glad of it. Then before walking out the door Hermione reached into her pocket, and pulled out a long wooden stick. My wand! Harry realised taking it from Hermione and stuffing it under his pillow. Hermione warned him not to do any magic with it except when using the pensieve, and they were gone.

Until this moment he hadn't realised exactly how much he missed his friends company. After Hermione and Ginny left Harry got Leah to manoeuvre him back to bed. Hermione charmed the pensieve to look like another mirror to any Muggle before she left, and it lay on the windowsill. Harry lay in bed staring at the pensieve wondering what it contained. He decided he would use it the next day.

*****

The next morning after breakfast he was once again in his wheel chair pretending to read. He did not want to be intruded upon while using the pensieve, but he hadn't come up with a plan to avoid it yet. He decided to open his remaining presents, thinking they might contain something to pass the time.

He opened Ron's first, it contained a mound of Honeyduke's chocolate and candies charmed to look like books. It also contained a Quidditch Magazine that Ron said in his note would change to the current issue every week. Harry decided he would look at that later.

Then he opened Lupin's present. Inside was a pair of stylish leather gloves along with a note.

James,

I noticed that when I touched you something weird happened. I thought you might want to wear these gloves when you want to avoid it.

Remus Lupin

Harry was surprised that Lupin figured out that it wasn't an isolated occurrence that happened when Harry touched him. Maybe Lupin figured out what it meant or what it was.

Harry put on the gloves, but then deciding he looked rather silly with only a hospital garment and leather gloves on, so he took them off. He then reached for the present from Mr. and Mrs. Weasley. Inside was the usual Weasley jumper, some things never change Harry thought to himself. Also inside was a note from Mrs. Weasley saying that they would visit as often as possible, and that he would be welcome to stay with them if he wanted once he got out of the hospital.

He felt very grateful, but he wasn't sure whether or not he would want to live at the Burrow. He would have loved to if given the chance while still in school, but he was feeling as though he needed to get out on his own since he was twenty-one.

Harry picked up the magazine Ron sent him, and was about to open it when he saw the cover. He did a double-take and looked again. Smirking out at him and waving from the cover of Quidditch Weekly was Draco Malfoy. In the by-line it said This year's Dai Commemorative Medal Winner: Draco Malfoy, Falmouth Falcons' Chaser. Harry gaped at it. What the hell did he do to win that medal? He supposed to be working for Voldemort, not playing Quidditch!

Draco Malfoy in this photograph was actually smiling. The shadow of his usual smirk was still there, but he looked happy. His brilliant blonde hair was no longer combed back, but short and spiked up. Malfoy seemed to be doing a victory lap on his broom, his grey and white robes flying out behind him.

Harry flipped to the page inside the book where a team photograph of the Falcons waved at him. He quickly scanned the interview with Malfoy. It seemed that Malfoy was recruited almost directly out of school after becoming a Chaser in his sixth year. Harry wondered if he was working for Voldemort, but had no way to know. The article seemed to want to know most about the spectacular goal he'd made by risking his neck to fly through the crowd and getting hit with both bludgers, and if he was single. Harry quickly shut the magazine.

He sat there for a long while, thinking about Draco Malfoy the Quidditch player. If he'd been playing Quidditch those last two years at Hogwarts, he would have made the recruiters forget all about Malfoy he thought bitterly. He didn't even know if he would ever be able to play Quidditch again, let alone professionally. He made a note to ask Ron or Hermione about Malfoy next time he saw them.

Harry didn't brood over Malfoy for long, because he had a plan to get to use the pensieve. He slept the rest of the afternoon, so he could stay awake that night. He woke up around eight o'clock. He waited for the evening check that occurred each night at half past eight. After Leah came in for the evening check he waited for another hour until the hospital quieted down to the point where all you heard was the whisper of the wind outside, and the squeak of an occasional passer out in the corridor.

Harry slowly and carefully pushed himself up to a sitting position. He'd not been able to do this when he first woke up, but he'd gained some strength after the first surgery, and was able to bend his legs now. He took his wand from beneath the pillow, and stuck it between his teeth. The wheel chair sat beside his bed, and as carefully as he could he pulled himself into it. He was panting and he just lay there sprawled in the chair for a few minutes trying to regain his breath. Then he slowly wheeled his chair to where the pensieve lay on the ledge of the window.

Following the directions Hermione had given him, and remembering Snape's and Dumbledore's pensieves he took his wand from between his teeth. He poked the contents, and they began to swirl, the silvery substance glowing dimly. He then leaned forward and could see the Great Hall filled with students reflected in the substance. He touched his nose to the substance, and was tilted forward into the basin.

He expected it to hurt when he hit the ground considering what his legs had so recently been through, but he didn't feel any pain as he crashed on to the floor of the Great Hall between the Ravenclaw and Slytherin tables. He looked up to see The Great Hall almost exactly as he remembered it. Then he realised he would not be able to walk, but to his surprise he was able to move his limbs pain free.

He slowly stood up. It was amazing how great it felt to be able to support yourself on your own two legs. He quickly strode over to the Gryffindor table savouring the wonderful feeling of walking. Sitting at the table were all of the Gryffindors, and he saw Hermione and Ron down at one end. He walked down to where they were. They sat eating breakfast, not noticing the comatose friend peering over their shoulders. Hermione was wearing a Head Girl badge, and Ron his prefect's badge. It must be their seventh year... he thought to himself.

He sat down in an empty space next to Hermione and stared at them waiting to see if anything interesting would happen, and absorbing it all in. He glanced up at the High Table, and noticed that Dolores Umbridge was not present. He looked around for a new face, but whoever the Defence against the Dark Arts teacher was, they did not seem to be present.

Ron kept craning his neck to look at the Hufflepuff table, and Harry was wondering who he was looking for when the mail started to arrive. A barn owl fluttered down in front of Hermione, and she untied an official looking letter. Ron didn't seem to notice it as he was still looking at the Hufflepuff table. Hermione ripped open the letter looking anxious, and was surprised when she squealed with delight.

"Hu...?" Ron said looking over at Hermione surprised.

"I got accepted to the Auror Training Program!" she said excitedly.

"Really? That's great, Hermione!" he said giving her a quick hug and going back to scanning the many faces of the crowd.

All the sudden the image started dissolve, and Harry was in a void for a few seconds, and this time he was out on the Hogwarts grounds, under a birch tree, the same birch tree that James had once tormented Snape under. Ron and Hermione were under it this time, studying out of several books. Harry glanced up around and saw Draco Malfoy approaching across the green lawn under the bright sun. He seemed to be wearing a Falmouth Falcons badge. Crabbe and Goyle lagged several feet behind him.

"Hello, Granger, Weasel," Malfoy drawled.

"Go away, Malfoy," Hermione said quickly as Ron surreptitiously took his wand out of his robes.

"I don't think I want to quite yet. I haven't shared my good news."

"What is it? Did you decide leave Hogwarts early to get a head-start on Death Eater training?" Ron said scathingly.

"No, actually, I'm not going to go into Death Eater training since I just signed a contract with Falmouth Falcons as a chaser," Draco said coolly smirking yet again.

Ron gaped, looking horror struck, and Hermione just stared at him.

"You? A professional Quidditch player?" Ron said.

"Yes, I thought you might want to know, I'll be going now,"

"I bet the recruiters wouldn't have looked twice at you if Harry was still playing!" Ron spat.

"Maybe," Malfoy said scowling slightly at the fact that he was still being compared to the boy-who-lived, "but Potter isn't playing anymore is he?" he finished nastily and stalked off.

"Him!" Ron said angrily to Hermione, "A Quidditch player! Of all the disgraces and I actually used to like the Falcons!" Then the image faded and Harry was in the void once more.

*****

Harry lay in bed, out of breath once more. He'd watched a few more memories of Quidditch games that Ron seemed to have put in the pensieve, before leaving it. The pain was back, but he had the memory of walking around at a bustling Quidditch match to sustain him.

The pensieve Hermione had told him contained hundreds of memories, and Harry was glad that he would have them to educate as well as entertain him for the next few months as he recovered. He was already looking forward to using the pensieve again, but he was so tired he knew he had to sleep.