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This is from the point of view of Neville's cauldron. Poor thing -- wouldn't you hate to be mangled by Neville's mishaps in Potions?

Words: 349
Chapters: 1
Hits: 799

What happens if you lock a group of people – say, Harry Potter & Co. – in a room, and not let them out until after they finish a horribly-written script of a truly horrible movie…? Care to find out? Thought so… Read it anyway!

Words: 16,919
Chapters: 2
Hits: 799

This is fluff, H/G, R/Hr... Based on a few oldies songs I really like. This chapter is based on the Cher song "Shoop Shoop". Hope you enjoy!

Words: 1,355
Chapters: 2
Hits: 798

All is well at Hogwarts until the Crunchy Kernel Buccaneers strike. Amid weasels, armpits, and snogs you have to wonder if peace and sanity will ever reside at Hogwarts again.

Words: 3,191
Chapters: 2
Hits: 798

A fic after my own sick sense of humor, in which we encounter a hysterical Lavender, a fuming Parvati, a sarcastic Hermione, and a diabolical plot involving a copious amount of Polyjuice potion. Warning: Also contains femslash references, but those of you who know me probably aren't surprised.

Words: 2,041
Chapters: 2
Hits: 798

"He looked down, unaware that one look could change the course of his life forever... "``What can a mysterious stranger do to Hogwarts? A lot.

Words: 1,671
Chapters: 1
Hits: 797

Subtitled "Mad-eye Moody gets Pink Eye." Anyway, it's from the point of view of the eye, and he gets super annoyed when he gets pink eye. (AGAIN)

Words: 340
Chapters: 1
Hits: 797

At Bill and Fleur's wedding, it seems like the apocalypse, anyway. A ring goes missing, Harry must confront an obstacle of the red-haired variety, and Fleur gives a whole new meaning to "bad hair day."

Words: 3,402
Chapters: 1
Hits: 797

In response to the constant needling he suffers from the resident females of Number 12 to offer insight and maturity in the darkest of times, Remus Lupin handles Harry's grieving in the most insightful and mature way he can: by taking him out and getting him utterly plastered. However, obscene alcoholic consumption and singing along to 'Surfer Rosa' in one's underwear is NOT coping with your mourning, as explained by one particularly mercurial young auror, and Remus Lupin is forced to confront the facts of life.

Words: 4,519
Chapters: 2
Hits: 796

Finishing a crossword is a lot harder than it looks, and James finds that out the hard way.

Words: 3,553
Chapters: 1
Hits: 795
The Gift by madilayn
01/14/2004

It's Christmas. Remus gives Sirius a gift. Sirius gives Remus a gift. Remus objects. James laughs. Lily is impressed. Sirius doesn't know what all the fuss is about.

Words: 1,096
Chapters: 1
Hits: 795

In which Draco discovers that not only is he actually a girl, and not only is he Voldemort's daughter, but even worse, he is somewhat attracted to Harry Potter. Poor Draco. What's a boy, er, girl, to do? A parody of Bridget Jones's Diary.

Words: 3,470
Chapters: 1
Hits: 795

As well as being old, rather evil, and having a personal hygiene problem, the Dark Lord was also somewhat of a chauvinist, and he assumed that if women tried to take charge of the country, it would fail drastically because the women would spend all their time gossiping and shopping. His plan was doomed to fail from the start, though. He hadn't counted on Hermione ``Granger.

Words: 3,018
Chapters: 1
Hits: 794

Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Draco and Pansy get together in the Room of Requirement to discuss fanfiction. Much insulting and snarkiness ensue, in addition to the discussion of a few major ships.

Words: 1,594
Chapters: 1
Hits: 794

When we were waiting for Book 5 to come out, we worried about whether Harry would get the Marauders' Map back. Then, we read Order of the Phoenix, and now we know that he got it back. But, we don't know how it was returned to him. This is one possible explanation.

Words: 2,352
Chapters: 1
Hits: 794

Poor, poor Belladonna has quite a few problems. Her mother is THE Devil-Lady, her father can't stand up for himself, Grandma Dot is losing it, somebody stole her necklace, her brother Jason is being moody, her twin - Nicky - is keeping a secret, Lily and James need a good push, her best friend left her, Margery Butter is still a mystery, everybody thinks she is crazy, she is hearing voices, Remus keeps getting glued to her, she keeps walking into Sirius and Mr Ted, her teddy, lost an eyebrow. Bella doesn't need THAT along with NEWTS, finding a job and keeping her head. Oh, and her therapist is sleeping with the cleaner. Marauder Era. AU-ish.

Words: 9,295
Chapters: 4
Hits: 793

For speaking out of turn against her, Professor Umbridge gives Lee Jordan one hell of a detention stretch. But when the twins leave Hogwarts behind, and him with it, he gets a chance to strike back. Oneshot.

Words: 2,974
Chapters: 1
Hits: 793
The Ex-Files by Slumber
09/28/2004

Pansy enlists Cho's help to exact revenge on Harry and Draco after she finds out about their secret relationship. The trouble is, they're flat out of ideas.

Words: 4,255
Chapters: 1
Hits: 792

I've done it! I'm revolutionizing Schnoogle! It's a songfic...but it's in Riddikulus! Intrigued yet? Darn. Read it anyway so you can say that you are part of the revolution! Viva la revolucion! Anyway...we know James and Sirius are up to something. Just not what it is. Want to know? Too bad. Mind your own business.

Words: 1,542
Chapters: 1
Hits: 791
Christmas Dilemma by Lloannna
12/20/2002

Dumbledore & Co. must come up with a Christmas gift for their roommate.

Words: 9,339
Chapters: 1
Hits: 790

Harry has had a certain person as his object of lust for a``long time now... Who could it be? And will Harry meet his object of``lust "in the library?"

Words: 841
Chapters: 1
Hits: 790

Short dabble. The Sorcerer's Stone told from Draco's point of view.

Words: 920
Chapters: 1
Hits: 790
Lessons by adamolupin
07/06/2006

Harry and Hermione find that they don't have to be in school to keep learning.

Words: 3,315
Chapters: 3
Hits: 790

Draco, being only a little, tiny, miniscule bit daunted by Harry's potential straightness, investigates that possibility. Sequel to "Denial" and "Acceptance." Rated R for a TEENY bit of sexual innuendo.

Words: 932
Chapters: 1
Hits: 790

The invisibility cloak has had a bit of a bad life ever since he's been owned by Harry... here is his story!

Words: 322
Chapters: 1
Hits: 789
Detention by nosilla
07/10/2002

When Ron and Draco are forced to serve detention together, each discovers that things aren't always as simple as they seem, people aren't always who you think they are, and Memory Charms can be tricky little buggers. Mild slash.

Words: 3,353
Chapters: 1
Hits: 789

Remus/Sirius obsessive fangirl humor.

Words: 2,155
Chapters: 1
Hits: 788

Parvati and Lavender's project on love divination gets a bit out of hand, and everybody finds out rather more than they wanted to. In Part I, Arithmancy and Divination, we watch the Gryffindors participate in an experiment.

Words: 1,176
Chapters: 2
Hits: 787

A short snippet, for a change. It's Hallowe'en, and the Fat Lady deplores the fact that so few kids nowadays keep up with the spirit of the All Hallows Eve - so she asks Nearly-Headless Nick to tell James, Sirius, Remus, Peter, and Lily a story. A ghost story, of course...

Words: 1,937
Chapters: 1
Hits: 787

Draco has some random thoughts, and a rather irritating encounter with Harry Potter. (Slight hints of Draco/Harry.)

Words: 628
Chapters: 1
Hits: 786

Narcissa Black was NEVER cruel and vain. In fact, in spite of her beauty, Narcissa is just a down-to-earth genuine girl who has some problems. Fine, a lot of problems! This is her diary, which gives you a glimpse into her life and witness as she goes from accident to accident.

Words: 1,811
Chapters: 1
Hits: 786

This is from the point of view of the Fat Lady -er, painting. Wouldn't you get offended if comments about your weight were made all day?

Words: 278
Chapters: 1
Hits: 786

Harry and his friends go to a new theme park for wizards, Wizardland, where a spell makes some stupid - like Draco who drags poor Lucius around until he spazzes out on roller coaster and winds up talking to an argyle leprechaun that smokes.

Words: 2,331
Chapters: 1
Hits: 786
Enter Mary-Lou by Nineveh
05/20/2005

It’s Harry’s sixth year, and another Professor Trelawney has come to Hogwarts to teach Defence Against the Dark Arts. Severus Snape confidently expects disaster. A Hogwarts/ Chalet School crossover.

Words: 4,346
Chapters: 1
Hits: 785
Minding Harry by Starmom
02/26/2007

James has asked Sirius to take care of baby Harry for a few hours. This might not have been a good idea. (One-shot) **2008 Quill to Parchment Award Winner - Best Marauder Era and Runner-up: Best Humor

Words: 1,354
Chapters: 1
Hits: 785

The private life of Argus Filch: Broom closets, shoe polish, three-foot newts and canaries. And a very mangy cat. The private life of Rubeus Hagrid: Interspecies Relations, whisky, fireflies and spiders. And a goblin named Steve. (A Rubeus/Argus romance)

Words: 1,869
Chapters: 2
Hits: 785

2004. Voldemort reigns supreme as Minister of Magic, and Harry, Ron and Hermione live in a squalid London flat on the Dole. Remus Lupin sleeps on their couch after his wife leaves him for another woman, Lavender Brown is a cheesy porno actress, Draco Malfoy has seen 'Secretary' one too many times and Snape runs a meth lab in his backyard. However, a gormless teenage girl in Coon Falls, Minnesota, opens up an interesting chat window and starts conversing with the supposedly late Sirius Black, and the Order of the Phoenix (now known as the Paradise Cult of Christ to avoid suspicion) rears its head for a tour-de-force overthrow of the cruel Riddle-Malfoy government....

Words: 11,314
Chapters: 3
Hits: 784

Hogwarts is having a fashion show. Guess who has to make comments about the 'outfits' in his 'own' way.

Words: 960
Chapters: 1
Hits: 784

Finally, there's an American at Hogwarts! Whoo-hoo! (AU.)

Words: 3,038
Chapters: 1
Hits: 783
Pureblood Germs by Tresa Cho
01/31/2006

Small drabble. What if Harry and Draco were trapped in a broken elevator? Who walks away alive? Who is annoyed out of their wits?

Words: 1,176
Chapters: 1
Hits: 783

You must read this parody, especially if you like seafood! It started as a normal morning at Hogwarts, then all hell broke loose. Featuring Confused!Ron and Insane!Harry. Sarcasm abounds, you'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll see Crabbe in leather pants, and find out Voldemort's true weakness. Features homage to LOTR, Princess Bride, Last of The Mohicans and many more. Co-Authored by Cindale and Ginnysdarkside.

Words: 2,753
Chapters: 1
Hits: 783

What happens when someone comes knocking on your door telling you your daughter is a witch? Mr Granger tells his story.

Words: 3,400
Chapters: 1
Hits: 783

Due to N.E.W.T. preparation classes, Hermione is once again using the Time Turner. This time, however, the others find out. They convince her to go on a little jaunt through the space-time continuum, with disastrous and hilarious results. Featuring sexy Slytherins, the Weasley red hair gene turning up in unexpected people, and a brief argument on how many times, exactly, Remus has read Hogwarts: A History.

Words: 3,485
Chapters: 1
Hits: 781

The new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, Eudice Eusyram, is perfect, and now Snape is jealous! How will he get back at her? A spoof on Mary Sue fan fiction in the same mold as "Airplane!"

Words: 1,238
Chapters: 1
Hits: 781

The characters of Harry Potter express their views on the books.

Words: 1,827
Chapters: 2
Hits: 780

Harry finally gets his revenge on Draco, or does he? Harry catches Draco in an emotional state and captures it in a picture. Soon the whole school will know what Draco's true prized posession is. Will Harry's revenge work, or will it backfire?

Words: 1,484
Chapters: 2
Hits: 780
Love and War by Lady Idhril
03/21/2005

Fred and George are ordered to repeat their seventh year properly, and neither of them is happy about this. With more pranks up their sleeves because of their booming business, they come to school wreaking havoc everywhere and angering quite a few. When Hermione threatens to stop their antics, she ends up in the line of fire on many of their pranks! Now, it's revenge and mayhem in store for sure… and of course one must remember that all is fair in love and war!

Words: 3,458
Chapters: 2
Hits: 779

Remus Lupin has come across something thoroughly evil, but there is no way around it, he has to use it. It is... the sewing machine from hell (Weird fic, even when judged on my standards).

Words: 1,410
Chapters: 1
Hits: 779

The last part of the Gryffindor Games! The Game of Life the sequel, sequel to Game of life, which is sequel to Truth or Dare the Sequel, which is Sequel to Truth or Dare. Ginny comes to play and an unexpected twist I praise myself for!

Words: 541
Chapters: 1
Hits: 779
Bimbo in the Limo by fbline
06/21/2004

Percy Weasley, the estranged son of the Weasley family, has made it big at last. Is he enjoying himself? You bet he is!

Words: 1,145
Chapters: 1
Hits: 779
The Contract by Ophelia Rose
05/21/2004

Dumbledore forces Sirius to sign a contract so that the teachers will return to school.

Words: 1,121
Chapters: 1
Hits: 779

Draco is a 7th year while Ginny is a 6th year. They both show up for a transfiguration class that McGonagall is setting up and after an unfortunate incident when a 3rd years mouse is turned purple they are forced to work alone together. This is their day together: will they be able to avoid killing each other? Will they maybe have a conversation? Only time will tell...

Words: 7,646
Chapters: 1
Hits: 779

Harry is trying to sleep, Ron and Hermione are fighting... Surprise visits inside!

Words: 1,074
Chapters: 1
Hits: 778

The musings of Petunia just a few days after baby Harry came to live with them.

Words: 938
Chapters: 1
Hits: 778

Putting off studying for his O.W.L.s, Ron plays chess with his armless Krum action figure. The stakes? Whoever wins gets Hermione (or Hermioninny). A fluffy missing moment from OOTP.

Words: 1,013
Chapters: 1
Hits: 778

I present to you the curtain that allows you all to read beyond the handsome face of Sirius Black, and into his very twisted, confusing and just plainly stupid mind.... MWPP and a devious plan.

Words: 1,693
Chapters: 2
Hits: 777

Everything was going well until Draco Malfoy took a tumble and found himself facing God (Merlin was a little busy). Now there are halos to be sought and people to help out. Right?

Words: 2,538
Chapters: 1
Hits: 777

Clippit, the arch enemy of all Microsoft Word users, finally gets his just rewards when he meets up with Draco Malfoy.

Words: 1,315
Chapters: 1
Hits: 776

Come in, come in, and welcome to my office. Please, take a seat on the New Zealand wool rug. I'm Malfoy, Detective Malfoy. Detective Draco Malfoy. How can I be of service? Ah... yes, my most recent case you want to hear about. Let's see here... It involved a mysterious, red-headed interior designer by the name of Virginia Weasley, a toaster with too many volts, and a seriously disturbed evil Dark Lord. Oh and my porsche. And Cap'n Crunch. Can't forget Cap'n Crunch. Yum.

Words: 2,056
Chapters: 2
Hits: 776

The Sorting Hat (Phinneus) is sick of spending all year just to write one song for one night to sing for a bunch of bratty teenagers. So the hat sings a song about himself for a change.

Words: 616
Chapters: 1
Hits: 774

Remus and Sirius are sharing a flat after graduating. Sirius brings up a random topic: What if Remus was gay? Featuring the Avenue Q song 'If You Were Gay'.

Words: 957
Chapters: 1
Hits: 774

What happens when two students overhear Snape and Sprout's conversation in the teachers' lounge?

Words: 2,391
Chapters: 1
Hits: 773
Loving Harry by Eye_Candy80
09/10/2002

Rachel is in her fifth year at Hogwarts, she's a transfer from Willow Academy in Ontario. Harry Potter is madly in love with her, but Draco has his eyes on her as well. Who will she pick though? The loving, protective Harry, or the powerful, murderous Malfoy? Watch her opinion change numerous times through this journey of Love, Bravery, and Hope. Ron and Hermoine get together in this story, but will a fight or two keep them from love... forever?

Words: 3,266
Chapters: 1
Hits: 772

For the first time ever, Harry gets the house at Privet Drive to himself for a few hours. Rather than trash the place, Harry decides to take a shower. In this short Fic, Harry must solve the terrible problem of what CD he's going to listen to while showering.

Words: 619
Chapters: 1
Hits: 772

Short, sweet, and to the point. Taking place post-HBP, a look into a long day in the lives of Remus and Tonks, as they work on Order business. Contains terrible poetry and haiku of equally dubious quality.

Words: 703
Chapters: 1
Hits: 772
Amnesia by Bluethunder12
03/30/2004

Voldemort gets amnesia and it goes downhill from there...

Words: 1,902
Chapters: 3
Hits: 771

This RHPS track gets Potterized! (Katie/Marcus)

Words: 2,266
Chapters: 1
Hits: 771
Sweet and Sour by Klave
07/14/2005

Cornelius Fudge. Lucius Malfoy. Two respectable pillars of the community, drawn together by a special bond. The love that dare not speak it's name. *Warning: These be slashy seas ahead, matey*

Words: 9,066
Chapters: 4
Hits: 771

How many ships can one offend in one story? Let's see...an irreverent look at shipping before HbP.

Words: 2,641
Chapters: 1
Hits: 771

Just a litte one shot fic in time for Christmas. A piece of pure fluff to give a smile. :) Fred wants to ask Angelina to the Yule Ball, but has no clue as to how she feels. Enter a prank gone wrong, a slumber party, and one fairytale of a book.

Words: 5,842
Chapters: 1
Hits: 770

Snape lets something slip to Hermione that he would rather keep secret. Or does he mean to tell her? What is going on? (Hermione's PoV, one-sided S/Hr. Yes, it's strange.)

Words: 1,546
Chapters: 1
Hits: 769

Madam Pomfrey leaves the infirmary in the capable hands of three of her esteemed colleagues while she visits her ill sister. With the Quidditch season yet to begin and no lessons over the weekend, what could possibly go wrong?

Words: 2,780
Chapters: 2
Hits: 768

Love, money, and Quidditch: three things that make the world go round. The wizarding world is caught up in the glamorous, hedonistic lives of those Quidditch stars vying for their place in the spotlight while old stars provide plenty of thrills and front-page tabloid material along the way. Sex, lies, deceit, drugs, all in a Quidditch day’s work. Shifting ships and slash.

Words: 3,782
Chapters: 1
Hits: 768
Omnia Vincit Amore by Elucreh
02/01/2004

The summer after OotP, it's Harry's birthday party - DA members and``family present - when the conversation turns to the wizarding tradition of choosing an official motto. But Ron says something he shouldn't, Hermione explodes.... This is sweet, unadulterated, surprisingly entertaining R/H fluff. I've rarely enjoyed writing anything more.

Words: 2,394
Chapters: 1
Hits: 768

I was told that I would write a story about Narcissa, paired with Harry. It would involve latex, and end in an embarrassing revalation. Consider the following my one shot to take out the plot bunny that was released in my head. Hope you have as much fun reading it as I did hunting it down.

Words: 2,574
Chapters: 1
Hits: 768

When the Slytherin seventh-years organise a bake sale, Professor McGonagall suspects something is wrong. The Slytherins have obviously gone quite mad. However, what she finds out almost gives her a heart attack. A rather ridiculous one-shot exploring Draco/Ginny.

Words: 1,136
Chapters: 1
Hits: 768
When Pigs Fly by reena
08/11/2004

Not surprisingly, Harry had never expected flying pigs. H/D.

Words: 4,019
Chapters: 1
Hits: 768
Yet More Notes by lolly1981
11/05/2004

Ginny, Harry, Ron and Hermione are working in the library, and notes start being passed about. Will Harry and Ginny confess their feeling for each other?

Words: 1,055
Chapters: 1
Hits: 768

What happens when Harry, Hermione, Ginny, and Ron end up in the land of the cyclops? How did they get there? How do they get out of there? Harry Potter version of The Odyssey.

Words: 1,626
Chapters: 2
Hits: 767

Coffee and a Muggle conspiracy cause Harry to fall in love with his worst enemy. Join him as he embarks on a journey of confusion, anger, depression, acceptance, and pure insanity. Read at your own risk.

Words: 7,987
Chapters: 1
Hits: 767

There is a leak which seems likely to jeopardise the whole wizarding world. In order to assess and repair it, Snape, McGonagall, Hermione and Ron are sent to live as Muggles. The Muggles are fans of the popular Harry Potter books - little do they know the truth behind the fiction. Inspired by The Potion Master's Muse "The Witching Hour" Challenge.

Words: 4,862
Chapters: 2
Hits: 766

Ron Weasley, Harry Potter's trusted friend and sidekick is always overlooked. Lucky for him, he stumbles across a potion that will make him irresistible ... but will he be happy with his new-found popularity? Laughs and romance abound!

Words: 917
Chapters: 1
Hits: 765

Sue’ing where it ain’t never been Sue’d before! Charity Dagrun Gryon transfers to Hogwarts for sixth year; and seems awfully familiar with a place she’s never been before. Through a series of dreams it’s revealed to her she must go through the Veil to rescue the Founders of Hogwarts, and after that, everything goes horribly wrong. Time paradoxes like you’ve never seen before! Also featuring: the Malfoys as demons from across the Veil, Destinyless!Harry, Abused!Draco and Sir Gloat-A-Lot Slytherin. A must read for everyone who wants a break from the serious Sue!

Words: 2,041
Chapters: 2
Hits: 764

Harry and Hermione discover why Ron's ears are blue, and Ron discovers much more than he wanted to about Ginny.

Words: 1,266
Chapters: 1
Hits: 764
Harry's Chocolate by Janey
05/16/2003

Draco likes chocolate. Draco likes chocolate a lot. So when Harry was in the hospital wing alone with his tons of chocolate from adoring fans, Draco couldnt help but want to pay him a visit. However, there were many problems with this. Find out what these are, how Draco overcomes them and if he gets Harry's chocolate. With appearances from most of the favourite Hogwarts cast. Harry/Draco.

Words: 3,426
Chapters: 1
Hits: 764

Tonks goes through a short phase of styling hair.

Words: 612
Chapters: 1
Hits: 763

The title says it all. This is a parody of the classic Monty Python Dead Parrot sketch...

Words: 943
Chapters: 1
Hits: 763

All is well in Hermione's life, until she gets herself into detention with none other than Draco Malfoy. Another installment of the Inverted Boggart series.

Words: 3,086
Chapters: 1
Hits: 763
Tradition by Ael L. Bolt
04/29/2003

The Marauders have left one hell of a legacy. Follow a single night of the Marauding Softpaws, Whitestripe, and Trigger as they play a simple yet effective trick.

Words: 845
Chapters: 1
Hits: 762

Snape narrates the Ministry of Magic film, How Not to Be Seen.

Words: 598
Chapters: 1
Hits: 761

A terrible day strikes both Harry and Draco as they enter a shop in Hogsmeade, whether on their own will or not you will have to see, each begins to appreciate the others life. Takes place in the sixth year disregarding other events.

Words: 903
Chapters: 1
Hits: 761

Rita Skeeter meets Weird Al Yankovic's song "Watching Too Much Jerry Springer". The result? Total chaos!

Words: 4,326
Chapters: 1
Hits: 760

You think SPEW was bad? Welcome to a whole other ballpark. When Hermione hears Remus talking about how he can't keep a job, she is determined to help him and tries to form SPHW: The Society for the Protection of Harmless Werewolves. However, she isn't exactly happy with her friend's reactions.

Words: 3,023
Chapters: 1
Hits: 759

Post-OoP. When Lord Voldemort receives a mysterious package, the wizarding world is never the same. Total parody of HP fics, featuring: Angst!Harry, Slash!Lucius, Penitent!Voldie, & everyone's favorite, Mary Sue. Not to mention Evil!Floof.

Words: 1,290
Chapters: 1
Hits: 758
Tiny Bubbles by Titania
11/11/2003

Revenge is soooo sweet!

Words: 1,288
Chapters: 1
Hits: 758