A Cold Sadistic Smile

Harry licked Draco's lips, the other boy's pants coming hard and fast.

"Now it's your turn," he whispered, his mouth twisting into a cold, sadistic smile.

"My....turn....for...what?" Draco gasped, trying to make it sound seductive.

"Your turn to seduce someone," Harry said, calmly standing up and casting about for his clothing.

"What?" Draco sat up so fast his head began to spin.

"The rules are; they must be a virgin, you must deflower them, they cannot have any idea what's going on, and you can't hook up with them again."

"Potter- what the fuck is this?" Draco demanded, standing up.

"A challenge, Malfoy. A dare," Harry said calmly, pulling on his trousers.

"I was a fucking challenge?!" Draco looked around for his robes- he had to get out of there as soon as possible.

"What's the matter, Malfoy? Thought you meant something to me?"

"All the things you said....."

"Lures. Lies. I was just saying them to score."

"You twisted Gryffindor...."

"Actually, it was a Hufflepuff who came up with the contest." Harry finished tying his shoes, then looked at Draco again. "The truth is, Malfoy, it wasn't just the contest- I've been wanting to screw you over for six years."

A sneer covering his face he grabbed his robes and left.

***

Draco picked at his supper, trying to convince himself that it would be a good idea to eat something. Over at his table Potter was laughing with his friends.

It wasn't the abandonment which upset Draco so. He had had casual encounters before. It was the way Potter had acted- that he had done the whole thing just to get back at Draco. Potter was a twisted fuck and the only thing Draco wanted to do was to get the memory of the sordid affair out of his mind. But the humiliation- oh, the humiliation. Draco had never been humiliated like that before- he would not be treated like that by anyone, especially Potter. Potter, who was laughing to his friends about the whole thing. Potter who had whispered pretty shiny things into Draco's ear, who had promised lies.

Draco stood up and grabbed his bag. He would get Potter back. He strode across the hall, his robes flaring out around him. Behind he heard a spurt of laughter. He would get Potter back if it were the last thing he did.

***

"Hey, Draco!" Pansy called as he walked into the common room. The conniving bitch was curled in an armchair wearing a shade of pink which should have been outlawed. Draco walked over to her, still trying to figure out what he would do.

Pansy waved a scrap of parchment at him until he grabbed it from her and sat down in an opposing armchair to read it over. It was a list of names paired in two columns, each couple of names followed by a date and time, each name in the second column repeated in the first column on the next line. The names spanned all the houses and several years, going as low as third year. Draco's name was the last one listed, paired with Potter's. He cocked an eyebrow at Pansy.

"You knew about this?" he asked, softly, dangerously.

"Not that Potter was going for you. Frankly, I think everyone else was sure you weren't a virgin or one of them would have tried you before. This parchment updates automatically- every house has one, I think."

"Who else knows?"

"Only the people on the list. One of the rules is you don't talk about it. Look." She pointed to some fine print at the bottom.

Rule #1. You don't talk about Fuck Club.
Rule #2. You don't talk about Fuck Club.
Rule #3. You must take your turn.
Rule #4. You must pick a virgin.
Rule #5. They must not know what is going on.
Rule #6. You must never fuck them again.
Rule #7. You don't talk about Fuck Club.
If you ignore any of these rules you will be hexed in a way which disrupts your life to an unpleasant degree.

"This is so fucked up," Draco said. "How do I tell if someone's a virgin?"

"Write their name on the parchment. If they're disqualified for any reason then their name will be crossed out magically. If not, it will remain for a few minutes then disappear."

Draco looked down at the list for a moment.

"You fucked Weasley?" he asked, raising his eyebrows. "Why?"

Pansy smiled dreamily. "I have a thing for redheads." Draco looked back at the list and choked.

"He seduced Goyle! Goyle! What the fuck!"

Pansy inspected her orange fingernails and shrugged.

"You have to be careful to pick someone you'll never want to sleep with again," she said. "That probably explains the weirder choices. I mean, Potter isn't likely to ever want to sleep with you again, is he?"

"Fucking Potter," Draco muttered, still perusing the list. "That little shitbag."

"I take it it wasn't good for you?"

"He was like- he acted like- I'm going to get back at him." Pansy rescued the list before he crumpled it in his fists. She smoothed out the bent corners then looked at him.

"How?"

"I'm still trying to....oh." His eyes widened and he grabbed the list back, reading the list hungrily. "It's too bad you already screwed Weasley."

"There's another one left," Pansy suggested. "Unfortunately she's not a virgin...the little slut."

Draco dug a quill out of his bag and scribbled something on the parchment. He watched it intently for a moment then threw the list at Pansy and practically ran to his dormitory.

Pansy looked at the name in surprise.

"Well, isn't this getting interesting?" she commented, then folded the list and carefully put it away.

***

But how would he do it?

Hermoine would be suspicious of him and Harry would probably warn her somehow. And Draco didn't just want to fuck her. He wanted to break her heart, to bring her to the utter humiliation Harry had brought him to. Not that Draco had ever loved Harry, or anything, but he had thought that the boy cared something for him. He had thought that he meant something....

So basic alcohol wouldn't work, nor love potions, nor other narcotics. This would have to be genuine.

And she wouldn't believe Draco Malfoy. She would have to believe someone else, then.

"Dear Hermione;

I can't say how long I've loved you. It seems like it's been my whole life and longer, but really it can be only since that first train ride we took together. Has it really only been six years? It seems like forever that I've spent dreaming about your amazing hair, your beautiful eyes, your gorgeous smile, your unsurpassed intelligence. You are my Viola, my Beatrice, my Cynthia. You are the sun and the moon and the stars- you are what makes magic possible.

But I am not worthy of you. I am afraid to speak my name, afraid you will reject me. Forgive me for my cowardliness; forgive me for not deserving you. Oh, my dearest, please take this token of affection sent to ensure you of my verity.

Your Secret Admirer; yours for always."

Hermione stared at the Owl, rereading it, trying to make sense of the words.

It was a love letter. Someone had sent her a love letter. Sure it was short, simple, and anonymous, but it was a love letter. Her first. She crushed the parchment to her chest, then remembered the 'token' and looked in the envelope. It was a little glass crescent moon.

"What is it, Hermione?" asked Ron, stuffing his toast into his mouth.

"Um...nothing..." She carefully folded the note and put it back into the envelope, wishing now that she hadn't torn it open. "Just a letter from a friend." She added, with a small smile. She slipped the letter into a side pocket on her knapsack where it wouldn't get crumpled or ink-stained.

"You look unusually happy," he commented, looking at her curiously, wiping crumbs off his face.

"I have a test in arithmancy today," she lied. He raised one eyebrow.

"And you're not studying during breakfast? I'm not buying that." Harry, who had been frowning into his porridge, looked up.

"What is it?" Hermione shook her head and smiled a little wider.

"I'm not telling you," she refused happily.

"It's really nothing, isn't it?" Ron guessed. "You're just leading us on."

"Yep," she agreed readily and began to hum.

"Right," Harry said. "I don't believe you. C'mon Hermione, tell us."

"You wouldn't tell me why you were so happy yesterday, or why you missed charms. And Ron wouldn't tell me what happened three weekends ago, when he was gone for the entire Saturday."

"I had detention- I told you," Ron protested.

"You were glowing Ron. Detention doesn't make you glow."

"It's because I got so clean from cleaning."

"You know," she said, thoughtfully, "I would think someone with so many brothers would be better at lying."

"Well I hope what you're hiding isn't like what I'm hiding," Harry commented, after a moment. "I really hope it's not."

Hermione looked sharply at him and Ron sniggered.

"Yeah," he added, "Me too."

She shook her head and stood up.

"I'm heading off to class. Try not to strain your brains while you're trying to figure out my secret. I don't want you to hurt yourselves."

***

Draco watched it all from the Slytherin table, noting both Hermione's ecstatic reaction and her secrecy. He felt the urge to write another note immediately, but restrained himself. Best wait a few days- he didn't want to scare her away. And he could use the time for his research- he should really add some hints to his next letter- and to start brewing his potion.

***

Hermione ran, elated, to her room, and threw herself on her bed, drawing her curtains closed so that she could read the letter in secret. She was still in there, trying to remember what she had read about what someone's handwriting said about their personality when she heard Lavender and Pavarti enter, gossiping as usual.

"Did you see the list?" giggled Lavender.

"Did I! Could you believe it? I thought he would just pick someone easy, like Ginny or something."

"And have all the Weasley's hate him? I don't think so. Besides he may actually fancy her for all we know. Plus I heard from Pansy that she's, well, deflowered already."

"What? How did she know?"

"I guess she wanted her before she picked Ron."

"Pansy is such a slut."

"What about you? Terry Boot?"

"I didn't think he was a virgin- I wrote his name as a joke."

"Well?"

"I guess when he gets some experience..."

"Like you should talk."

"Hey! I'm getting practice at least? What about you? Still with the purity thing?"

"As if- I'm just sexed out right now."

Hermione lay stone still, afraid to say anything. What the hell? Was everyone in the world having sex but her? Ron? Pansy and Ron? What the fuck was going on?

"So was she good?"

"Man, I'll correct anyone who calls her Loony after this. That girl has got a tongue."

"Who would have guess you'd go for girls."

"Hey, she went for me."

"And so did my sister? I'm still really sketched out by that, by the way."

"It was only because I can't fulfil my desires for you."

"So you claim."

"Pavarti, when will you believe my love for you?"

"When you stop giggling when you swear it."

"Touche."

"So do you have any idea who Draco's after?"

"Pansy wouldn't say. Apparently he was really mad at Harry."

"Oooooo...this should be good. Why?"

"Apparently Harry went beyond the call of duty and swore love and shit and Draco- get this- Draco believed him. Then he was all like, 'sorry it was just for this thing. I, actually, still detest you and I just did this to fuck with you.'"

"Harry? Hero Harry? Who would have thought? He must really hate Draco."

"Yeah. Dean was just like, 'Hey that was fun, but we can't ever do it again.'"

"Yeah, Luna was the same. She didn't say she loved me or anything. I mean, I didn't know what was going on, but I knew it was just a one night stand."

"Ooooo....Pavarti...look Ravenclaw is practicing. Wanna go down and spy on them?"

"Hell, yeah. Hopefully Chambers will get all sweaty and have to take off his shirt again." She giggled and they both left.

"What the fuck?" Hermione said. What on Earth was going on? Harry fucked Draco just to mess with him? It was as if the world was turned upside down. She slipped the love letter into her side table, then went down to the common room. Those boys were going to explain if she had to kill them to get them to talk.

***

"I'm serious, Hermione. If we talk about it then we'll get hexed. I promised we'll tell you all about it as soon as we can."

"Yeah," Ron added. "And, um, it's not what it sounds like."

"Can you just answer one question for me then? Are either of you still virgins?"

They looked at each other, then down at the floor.

"I can't believe it," Hermione told the ceiling. "Am I the only Gryffindor unsullied?"

"There are fifteen virgins over fifteen," Ron offered helpfully.

"You're not going to tell me how you know, are you?"

They both shook their heads.

"Am I going to be very upset when I find out what's going on?" she asked, finally.

"Um...that depends..." Harry said.

"On what?"

"Um...what happens. Just....um....stay away from Draco Malfoy."

"Yeah, I heard he was really mad at you."

Harry blushed and stared at the ground.

"This is going to be really fucked up isn't it?"

"It already is," Ron said.

"Thanks. That makes me feel so much better."

***

Her suspicions did not grow less in the weeks that followed- she heard little snippets of half a thousand rumors, but she couldn't quite piece together what was going on. The truth was she preferred not to think about it, even if not thinking about it made her feel as if she were neglecting her duties as a prefect. It was too disturbing.

Meanwhile, the letters kept coming and she had figured out that the writer was definitely in Ravenclaw. His handwriting said he was charming, self-assured and strong-willed. It didn't sound like the type who would write at the end of each of the letters about how he was such a coward, but maybe he had some sweet self-doubt hidden in there somewhere.

The truth was that Hermione had kind of fallen in love with him. The letters were so cute, so charming, so devoted. And the presents- he had sent a copy of Keats' 'Endymion' because he said that he would look for her with the same devotion. He sent her a little quartz heart strung on a silver chain which she hung around her neck as soon as she received it, looking over at the Ravenclaw table to see if anyone was watching her. No luck.

***

The final ingredients to the potion- Draco stirred the cauldron and carefully bottled the drought. He already had acquired the hairs- the boy hadn't noticed when he plucked them. He penned the last letter- the one asking her to meet in the room of requirement, then gathered the things he would need; chocolates with a potion in them to make the eater more susceptible to suggestion, wine, flowers. She should be getting the letter now, creaming at the thought of finally meeting her secret admirer. He stifled his thoughts of guilt, hid the things and headed to breakfast. One more day and he would be grinning at Potter across the room while Potter's best friend hid away, crying in the haunted girl's bathroom.

***

He wanted to meet her! Hermione barely kept herself from shouting the news to the whole room. The hours would be so long until then...what would she wear? Nice underwear? She giggled, surprising herself and drawing looks from the people around her. She would wear the black lacy ones, not that anyone would see her, but because they would give her self-confidence. She couldn't wait....

***

Breathless Hermione climbed the stairs to the rooms, her high-heeled shoes pinching her feet (they were a tiny bit too small) and making walking a bit more difficult. Finally, she was at the entrance, pausing a moment until she had stopped panting. She took a deep breath and opened the door.

A fire was burning happily in the grate, in front of which was a deep oriental rug, a small table on which was wine, two glasses, a vase full of roses, and a box of chocolates. Beside the table, pouring the wine, a tall boy stood nervously. He saw her and blushed deep red.

"Hermione," he said softly in his deep voice.

"Dylan," she replied, surprised. He was smart, quiet and good-looking in a nerdy kind of way. He looked so sad, hopeful, and pessimistic at the same time she couldn't help smiling and taking a few steps towards him. He handed her a glass of wine, and when she took it their fingers touched for a second. Dylan smiled nervously. They sat down on the carpet and began to talk.

***

Hermione felt a bit lightheaded. Dylan was wonderful- everything his letters had promised. He was witty and charming and at the same time sweetly shy. He made her feel flushed and hot. Soon she took off the pink sweater she had picked out specially to match the quartz heart, and now was only wearing a navy tank top and her tight (a little too tight actually) black skirt.

"You look effervescent," Dylan said, catching her hand in his. "Too good to be true." He picked a chocolate out of the box and fed it to her, then licked the chocolate off his fingers. It was so cliche she laughed and he laughed too- then swooped in to kiss her.

It was like nothing she had imagined- it was incredible, passionate and, oh my god. The swift crude pecks she had exchanged with Viktor had been nothing like this...this was...magic. Soon they were tangled together, hands all over each other, exploring, caressing, never stopping even to breathe. He didn't ask. His mouth was full, his lips were busy, he might have stuttered over the words. But she answered anyways.

"Yes!" she moaned into his neck. "Oh, yes."

***

Hermione watched the firelight play over his naked body. He was so beautifu laying in repose. His body was muscled; Quidditch, maybe- she wasn't sure who was on the team. His brown hair hung in his face and he smiled at her, then tried to blow it away. She reached up to brush the lock back, but he caught her arm. She smiled at him, but he wasn't smiling anymore. His grip was too tight- it hurt.

"Dylan!" she said.

"I'm not Dylan," he whispered, and then his body rippled, changed, shrunk.

"Malfoy!" Hermione exclaimed, horrified. "What did you do with him?"

"I am him. I wrote those letters," Draco confessed, a cold, sadistic smile on his face.

"You..."she found the strength to pull her arm away and covered her face with her hands. "All this time! You fucking bastard!" Hermoine swung at him wildly- Draco dodged her and grabbed his robes, pulling them on quickly. "Why?!"

"Ask Potter," Draco explained, smiled cruelly, and then darted into the hallway, knowing she couldn't follow naked.

In the room Hermione curled up into a heap before the fire, balling her eyes out. This was worse than anything Malfoy had ever done before, worse than anything anyone had done to her. Her heart was destroyed, her body violated; she would never be the same again.

***

"It's Hermione," Lavender whispered to Harry, who was playing chess in the common room.

"What is?" he asked. She pulled the parchment from her robes and showed him. Her name was inscribed on the list directly across from Draco's.

"Fuck!" Harry yelled, grabbing the paper from her. Everyone turned to look at him curiously. He ignored them and, still holding the parchment, dashed up to his dormitory.

No one noticed when Harry Potter, invisible, left the Gryffindor common room and made his way to the Room of Requirement. Hermione didn't notice when he came in, only when he pulled a blanket over her still naked body and hugged her close.

"Why did he do it?" she sobbed. "He said you would tell me. Harry- what the fuck is this?"

"It was a challenge," he said gently.

"A challenge? A fucking challenge? I was a fucking challenge?"

"He was supposed to seduce a virgin who didn't know what was going on..."

"All the things he said...."

"I didn't think he's pick you..."

"That twisted Slytherin..." She clenched her fists.

"It's all my fault," Harry moaned, dropping his face to his hands.

Hermione looked at him coldly. "Explain."

"I, well, we...um...so this Ravenclaw started this. It's called the Slut Club. So what happens is the first person had to find an unsuspecting virgin and seduce them. The trick is that you can't sleep with them afterwards or you get hexed. So you have to pick someone you wouldn't ever want to sleep with again; someone who it wouldn't ruin your relationship with. So then that person has to go out and do it with another person and so on."

"And Ron did this?"

"Ron, well, he was seduced by Pansy Parkinson."

"Ewww."

"Yeah. It gets worse, though."

"How?"

"He, in turn, seduced Goyle."

"What? Why?"

"He won't tell me."

"What about you?"

"Pavarti Patil."

"I thought she hated you after the dance thing."

"But she still thought I was hot, apparently."

"And then?"

"Draco Malfoy. Except I didn't do it like I was supposed to, just as some friendly affair. I made him think I really liked him...really, really liked him...and then, afterwards, I mocked him."

"You...you...he was trying to get back at you..."

"I know. I'm sorry."

"How could you, Harry? How could you do that to anyone?"

"Malfoy just made me so angry....I wanted him too..."

"That's the reason? Because he made you angry? Harry, that's no reason to ruin someone."

"That's not the real reason." Harry muttered. Hermione looked at him. "I...I...well....I've had this crush on Malfoy..."

"A crush? You had a crush on Malfoy?"

"Yeah...I was so ashamed....so I thought..."

"You would destroy him? Because you like him? Harry, that's so fucked up."

"I ruined it!" Harry cried "It didn't make anything better! I think about him constantly!"

"I feel so bad for him," Hermione mused. "Not enough to forgive him, but it makes it hurt less. God I was such a fool. And I'll never be able to look at Dylan Butters the same way again."

"Dylan Butters? Why?"

She just shook her head and laughed. "It's really my fault, for falling in love with letters- this is like my crush on Keats."

"Keats? What? Isn't he dead?"

"I hope so. It's been a number of years since he died." She ran her hand through her hair. "What would annoy Malfoy the most at this point?"

"Fucking him up the ass?" She hit him. "Hey!"

"Acting like it didn't bother me at all."

"But...he violated you. Aren't you going to hex him to death now?"

"And save you from having to tell him you're sorry? I don't think so."

"I should apologize to him? After what he did to you?"

"That action does, in no way, vindicate you, Harry. I will deal with him myself. You will tell him you are sorry for acting the way you did and that you didn't mean what you said."

"I...but...he..."

"Tell him you said what you did because you were afraid. Grovel, whatever, but get him back."

"But the hex...wait a minute- why do you want me to hook up with Malfoy?"

"Because you're both twisted fucks and you deserve each other. Now go away. I have to get dressed and plan who I'm going to seduce."

"Here." Harry handed her the list. "This will help you. If you write the name on the parchment then it will tell you whether the person is acceptable or not." He threw her the cloak. "You take this- I can get back safe with just the map."

Hermione inspected the list for a long time before she wrote a name on it. Then she nodded, put it in her pocket and covered herself with the cloak.

Draco did a double take the next morning- Hermione was at breakfast and seemingly not troubled in the least. She was eating with a healthy appetite and chatting with her friends animatedly. Well, Ron, at least. Harry was moping into his bacon. Draco frowned and tapped a rhythm on the table with his knife.

"Hey Draco!" Blaise said, sitting down across from him. "Granger? Nice job, man. That's a fine piece of ass. Hey, you mind if...?"

"I can't touch her again. You know the rules," Draco said, holding up his hands.

"So what's she like? Firm? Shy?"

"Surprisingly experienced, actually."

"Yeah, I bet. Can't you imagine her pouring over the Karma Sutra? Hot. Smart chicks urn me on so much."

"Man, you're so fucked up."

"At least I was never screwed by Harry Potter- that pleasure's all your own...fuck, what's she doing?"

Hermione was walking over to the Head table calmly.

"She is not going to tell them about this, is she?"

"Not if she doesn't want to get hexed in a manner which disrupts her life an uncomfortable degree." Draco replied, watching in fascination as she walked right up to Snape and began talking to him.

"Is she flirting? Does it look like she's flirting?"

Suddenly Draco's view was obstructed by a body.

"Hey!" he protested, before looking at the person's face. "Potter," Draco spit. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

"Um...D...Malfoy....can I talk to you?"

"That remains to be seen. Have you ever thought about seeing a speech pathologist?"

"What? Um...I need to talk to you...alone?"

"So you can confess your feelings for me...again?" Draco crossed his arms before him. "I don't think so."

Harry blushed and scratched his neck. "Actually, I..." Draco laughed incredulously.

"You mean you were going to? What is there a follow up to the Fuck club? A Sloppy Seconds club or something?"

"Um...no...the thing is..." He looked at Blaise and Pansy, who were suddenly very absorbed in their breakfasts. "I..um...lied."

"What?" Draco narrowed his eyes.

"I lied to you. I said those things because I was scared...of my...um...attraction to you?"

"Granger put you up to this, didn't she? To get back at me?"

"No, she's, well, she seems to have gotten over that pretty quickly. She's all excited about her future conquest."

"Really?" asked Pansy, forgetting to pretend not to listen. "Who is it?"

"She wouldn't say, but she was talking a lot about her underwear. About buying some new lingerie or something."

"Her old pair got kind of....well..." Draco muttered.

"You didn't steal it did you?" asked Blaise, excitedly.

"No- it was burned."

"She was so hot she set her underwear on fire?" Pansy raised her eyebrows.

"No- I, um, flung it into the fire. By accident." Draco explained, reddening.

"Anyways, so I'm sorry for treating you badly and I was wondering if you would go out with me," Harry finished quickly.

"You do realize that if you hook up with Draco again you'll be hexed in a way which disrupts your life to an unpleasant degree?" Pansy asked him.

"It doesn't matter!" Harry exclaimed. "My life is already so filled with unpleasant things one more would just hang around and keep the rest company. Anyways, it's worth it."

"Humiliating me again?"

"No- being able to touch you, kiss you, tell you that I l....well, I really like you and think you're a nice person."

Draco looked at him for a moment. "You think I'm a nice person?"

"Well...no. But I do really like you."

"You think that there's a way in hell that I'm going to give you a second chance?"

"Um...yes?"

"Why?! Why would I date someone who did what you did to me?"

"The first reason? Because the whole school knows about it."

"And that should make me like you more?"

"No- what I mean is the whole school knows that I humiliated you. So if we start going out then I'll be the one they'll laugh at."

"You mean, when you get down on your knees to beg me to go out with you you'll be the one they laugh at."

"Well...yes."

"The second reason?"

"Um...because the fact that you liked me so much kind of indicates to me that you might still like me a little."

"Maybe," Draco said, his face still stony.

"But..."

"Maybe. I need a few days to think about this. Please leave me alone now." Harry nodded slowly and then walked, dejectedly back to the table.

"I hope you take him up on i,." Blaise said, licking his lips. "He's cute."

"Oh you think everyone's hot," Draco muttered.

"No, just Gryffindors."

***

Hermione had made up her mind. It was going to be the most difficult thing she'd ever done. But how would she do it?

A spell or love potion? Too easy. Besides, knowing him he was warded up the wazoo. It would have to be real. None of the pansy polymorph potion Malfoy had used. He have to would know it was her- he would have to want her.

He already wanted her- she had seen his eyes travel down her hip in their cold manner. She had caught him glancing at her breasts when he was ignoring her waving hand.

She would get him- she would get him good. All those years he had ignored her, had taken points off for insignificant things, had blamed her whenever any other Gryffindor had gotten a potion right. It would be pay back for that.

And for those sharp eyes half-hidden by that stringy hair. And for that sneering smile. And for having that brilliant mind made useless by caring about nothing. She would make him care.

Hermione stopped herself just short of issuing a maniacal laugh.

***

"Please go out with me, Draco!" Harry shouted in the middle of the packed Charms corridor.

"Please forgive me, Malfoy!" he yelled to the Quidditch pitch where Draco was practicing.

"Be mine!" he said, right in the middle of their Care of Magical Creatures class.

Draco tried to scowl but it was getting frighteningly close to a smile. That evening Harry came up to the Slytherin table and asked if Draco had had enough time yet. When he said 'No.' Harry smiled and wandered back to the Gryffindors, where Hermione was smiling in a scary fashion.

"Hermione, do you want your ice cream?" Ron asked, eyeing the frozen confection.

"Who needs ice cream when they have revenge?" she replied, dreamily.

"Um...okay," he said, reaching over to take it. She slapped his hand away and began to eat it.

"But you said..." he protested.

"I need to keep up my strength," she explained.

"Um, yeah. For...revenge."

"Exactly." She licked the spoon slyly, looking out of the corner of her eye. "Do you see that?"

"You're molesting your spoon?" he asked, picking at his robes as if he was feeling a little hot.

"Mmmhmmm." She dipped the spoon into the ice cream and repeated the performance.

"'Mione, you're scaring me," Ron whimpered.

"Ignore her, Ron. Think about pretty things instead."

Ron perked up. "Like Goyle?" They winced.

"No, Ron," Harry said patiently, as if this was a familiar subject of conversation. "Goyle is not pretty."

"Yes he is," Ron contradicted. "His eyes are pretty, and so is his chest and....."

"Ron! No!" Harry slapped him lightly on the shoulder. "Bad Ron."

"Oh...you're just jealous," Ron looked over at the Slytherin table dreamily, "of the most magical night of my life...the moon was a waning crescent, the roses were blooming in the garden and the field was full of fireflies...."

"Ron, it's the middle of winter," Hermione pointed out, momentarily diverted from the spoon.

"You're just trying to ruin our relationship. You don't want us to be happy!"

"Ron, you can't go out with Goyle! You'll be hexed in a way which disrupts your life to an unpleasant degree."

"See, this is what I was talking about! You're always trying to come between us. I bet you made that up."

"No, Ron, that's what it says in the rules."

"Then why hasn't it affected Lavender?"

"What do you mean?" Harry looked at Ron, confused.

"I saw her making out with Padma yesterday behind the greenhouses- look, she's fine." He pointed down the table where Lavender and Pavarti were talking animatedly. And sitting a little close.

"That was probably Pavarti," Hermione said, apparently trying out the sensual properties of a banana. "Those two had so much sexual tension sleeping in the same room with them was dangerous."

"Oh." Ron grew pale and suddenly darted off.

"I wonder what that was all about." Harry looked over at Hermione and winced. "Please stop that."

***

"So, professor...." Hermione said to the mirror, trying to perfect her seductive smile.

"Very nice, dear." Her mirror said. "I'd sleep with you." Hermione rolled her eyes and turned her attention to her wardrobes. Hmmm....black robes, black robes and more black robes. How to choose. She scowled and pulled a pair over her head, then thought briefly about makeup. Briefly, because the one or two times she tried putting it on herself she had ended up looking like a clown and the resident make up artists were currently...occupied. Okay, so she couldn't do anything about her clothes or her face...what about her hair? She ran her hands through the bushy mass, then tried a braiding spell on it. Well, maybe not that many braids. She tried again. Not bad.

Sigh. Here goes.

Hermione lifted her knapsack to her shoulder and strode out of the dormitory calling "breakfast ends in fifteen," as she passed the closed curtains.

Giggle. "Who cares about breakfast?" Giggle.

***

Hermione tried to keep a discreet eye on the Head Table while at the same time console Harry about how his effort to get Draco back seemed to be going, and helping him to work up the courage to go ask him again.

"Hey Potter!" Malfoy called from the Slytherin table. "Aren't you going to ask me to marry you today?"

The Slytherins all laughed, Blaise calling "I'd marry you, Potter."

Harry sighed and walked to the front of the Hall.

"I would like you all to know that I am a horrible person and I sincerely ask Draco Malfoy's forgiveness for the way I treated him."

Behind him the Professors all affected a look of alarm.

He walked over to the Slytherin table and got down on his knees.

"Draco Malfoy, would you please go out with me?" Draco looked up and down the table wildly.

"I guess I could stand you for one night," he said coldly, but couldn't help smiling. Harry smiled back and the two of them didn't move for several moments, until Pansy finally cleared her throat.

"What about the curse?" she asked.

"I guess we'll find out, won't we?" Harry said. "Tomorrow night, 8pm, Room of Requirement?"

Draco didn't trust his voice to keep calm so he just nodded.

***

"Um..Professor..I was wondering..."

"Out with it, Granger," Snape snapped.

"Well, I'm really interested in the Butterfly Potion...you mentioned it in class last week..."

"I remember."

"And I read all the books I could find about it, even in the restricted section..."

"How, exactly, did you do that?"

"Um..the Headmaster gave me an open pass..."

"Of course he did. Continue."

"Well, I was wondering if you would show me how to brew it...I understand you're the only person who correctly understands the technique who is, well, still alive."

Snape stared at her for a long while. "That is correct," he said finally, "I supposed I could make an exception to my general rule of never being helpful to students and show you how." He thought for a moment. "Tomorrow afternoon." He looked back down at his grading- Hermione stood for a moment more before realizing he wasn't going to address her any further.

"Thank you, Professor." She said, and, with a cold, sadistic smile on her face, left his office. Snape lifted his head for a second to watch her ass wiggle its way out the door, then quickly went back to his grades.

***

Hermione didn't listen to anything Harry was saying- her mind was spinning too fast. The Butterfly potion; it was perfect. Anyone who drank it would become suddenly and irresistibly beautiful- and then die a moment later if they weren't kissed immediately. It was strange and twisted, bordering on illegal and incredibly complex. Just the kind of potion Snape would be deeply fascinated with, just the kind of potion he would take the extra effort to show someone how to brew. She almost clicked her heels together with glee. Well, the thought to click her heels together with glee never crossed her mind, but had it, she might have been tempted to.

***

The night passed quickly- she was getting much better at ignoring the sounds coming from Lavender's bed. Before she knew it it was lunchtime and her stomach was turning over anxiously. At least she had finally gotten some new lingerie. It itched a little, but dammit, it looked good.

Finally it was time. She pulled out the notebook where she kept her notes on the subject and knocked tentatively on the potion master's door. He seemed to not have moved since she had been there yesterday, although that couldn't have been true, since she had seen him at dinner, breakfast, and lunch, as well as harassing second years in the hallway.

His head lifted as she approached the desk.

"You may assemble and prepare the ingredients, Miss Granger," he said. "You'll find them easily in the store room. After you are done with that I will show you the intricacies of the operation." Hermione kept herself from humming as she gathered, measured and cut. In no time everything was together. She called Snape into the laboratory. He checked the ingredients carefully and began the brewing. The only comments he made concerned the potion. By the time they were done Snape was covered by a glisten of sweat despite the chill of the dungeons. He held out the cauldron, the potion a peacock blue, and said "Here it is, Miss Granger, the Butterfly Potion; the most unusual poison in existence." Hermione took the cauldron and ladled herself a flask full.

"What does it taste like?" She asked curiously.

"I don't know. I've never met anyone stupid enough to try it..." Hermione lifted the glass as if she were inspecting its color in the light and then downed the lot. Snape gasped and rushed forwards, catching her as she fell, literally glowing as she transformed into the most beautiful being on Earth.

"You idiot." He muttered and raised her head so he could kiss it.

Hermione flickered back to life and wrapped her arms around him, returning the kiss full force.

"You idiot," Snape said again, but he did not let her go.

***

Harry waited nervously in the room of requirement, certain that Draco wouldn't show, despite the fact that it wasn't yet eight. He sat on a thick crimson oriental rug, before a roaring fire, and tried not to think about the fact that this was exactly what the room had looked like when he had found Hermione naked in it. A knock came on the door and he opened it for Draco, who stood there nervously. Harry smiled and invited him in, but, instead, he flung himself at Harry and kissed him, hard.

Harry stepped back startled and Draco broke it off.

"I knew it." He accused. "I knew it was a trick." He turned to go, but Harry grabbed his sleeve, pulling him back. "I don't know what you...." Harry stopped his mouth with his own and, after a while, Draco stopped trying to talk altogether.

***

"Have a good night?" Ron asked the two and sighed, staring in longing at the Slytherin table again.

Harry and Hermione both smiled slyly.

"So what was the hex?" Ron asked.

"I don't know," Harry answered, frowning. "So far nothing." He pulled out the parchment and looked at it. "Hermione!" he exclaimed. "Snape?" He looked nauseous.

"You're not serious," Ron said, pulling the list from him. "Oh my god." He glanced at the Head table to see Snape sitting there, his head cradled in his arms.

"You've destroyed him," he said.

"All's fair in love and war," Hermione replied.

"What about when it's both? No, don't answer that." He looked at the parchment again.

"The punishment for breaking the rules will be the social stigma of having broken the rules." Ron read, then snorted. "That figures. Ravenclaws."

"Well going out with Malfoy is a social stigma," Hermione pointed out.

"Does this mean you're going to further your relations with Snape?" asked Ron.

"No- I think I've done my job." Snape still hadn't moved and wasn't responding to any of his fellow teachers' queries.

Harry looked up, over Ron's shoulder and coughed. Ron and Hermione looked behind them.

"Um..." began Goyle nervously, "since we found out that there was no hex and, well, I can't stop thinking about that night..."

"The room of requirement, eight o'clock, tonight?" asked Ron, cheerfully.

"Yes, please." replied Goyle eagerly. Harry and Hermione looked at each other and laughed.