Attention

Chapter Nineteen: First Moves

At lunch Ginny tried not to look at Draco. He was sitting apart from the rest of the Slytherin table; more than one person had 'accidentally' bumped into him and sent his food or drink flying, but no one had actually tried to hex him yet. Ginny wondered if Slytherin knew of his decision. Probably not, she reasoned, or else he'd not have made it to lunch.

Ginny sat across from Harry, who had a similar empty space around him.

'What's going on?' Ginny asked Harry, indicating what looked like a buffer zone.

Harry let out a long, distinctly shaky sigh. 'Everyone's been telling me all morning that it doesn't matter if I like boys better than girls,' he said.

'Oh?'

'Yes.' Harry skewered a potato with his fork, brought it up to eye level, then let it fall back down to the plate again, uneaten. 'But they're still treating me like I'm some kind of leper.'

'What about Ron and--'

But at that moment Ron appeared, muttering something like 'ruddy N.E.W.T.s', and slumped into the seat next to Ginny, where he proceeded to grab a bit of everything within arm's reach. Hermione sat herself in the seat next to Harry, with rather less decorum than usual.

Ginny looked from one tense face to another, then to Ron's stuffed face, and felt awkward. Who was supposed to bring what topic up, and how? Or maybe the lunch table ought to be a kind of safe zone, where Delicate Topics could be avoided like the elephants they were.

Looking at Hermione, Ginny saw her expression of uncertainty mirrored. 'So,' Hermione said, a bit too brightly, 'do you think your father will actually run for Minister?'

Ginny shot her a grateful look, and, with as much of Ron as they could entice away from the chicken, they launched into a spirited political discussion. Harry, however, seemed to prefer the company of his congealing potatoes.

After lunch Ginny had another free period; she went straight up to the library to borrow the dementor book. The hour she spent reading it only left her feeling more anxious and queasy than before.

Then came Defense Against the Dark Arts, which took up the rest of the afternoon. Holloway had moved into an in-depth study of deadly curses--not the Killing Curse, but curses that could kill--and Ginny still couldn't focus.

The gossip had been running rampant all afternoon, and although people had stared at her, all she'd heard had been about the Bones murder and Harry's sexual orientation.

'Is he really... you know?' she'd been asked more than once.

'I don't know!' she invariably replied. 'Ask him yourself!'

But of course they wouldn't.

'Is your dad really running for Minister?'

'Sorry, I've got to go.'

No one seemed to care about Draco. Except her. She wasn't sure if that was good or bad.

After dinner, Ginny sat in the common room trying to do her Herbology homework while Charlotte and Lisa whispered together and sent Harry black looks of disappointed adoration.

Give the composition of the venom in the Venomous Tentacula.

How deep do the Tentacula's roots go, and why is this important to know?

Ginny stared at the questions and then at her textbook, willing the answer to highlight itself so she wouldn't have to look it up.

'Ginny!'

'What?' Glancing up, she realised that Lisa had been trying to attract her attention for the past few seconds.

'Ginny, is Harry really...?' Lisa asked in a confidential undertone.

It was one person too many, and one shade too uncaring a tone of voice. Afterwards Ginny would apologise, but now she just wanted people to stop asking.

'For fuck's sake, ask him yourself if you want to know!' she spat. 'Just leave me alone, won't you?'

Lisa looked hurt and bewildered, and blinked, on the verge of tears. But before Ginny could even start to feel apologetic, Charlotte took Lisa's arm, gave Ginny a murderous look, and escorted a trembling Lisa over to the stairs to the dormitory and out of sight.

Ginny laid her head down on her book and let out a week-long sigh of frustration, more to avoid the surprised stares of those around her than anything else.

'What was that about?'

Harry had come over, no doubt sick himself of the overly effusive 'tolerance' of his fellow Gryffindors.

'People keep asking me if you're really gay,' Ginny said, looking up at him through her hair.

'What do you tell them?'

'That it's none of my business and they should ask you if they're really curious.' Ginny lifted her head fully and pushed her hair out of her eyes. 'Has anyone?'

'No. Though Ernie Macmillan did give me a very wide smile.' Harry looked faintly ill. 'I'm glad I don't have Snape this year, or who knows what sort of torment he'd have put me through.'

'Snape's a git,' Ginny agreed, the words coming easily with the benefit of long practice.

There was a moment of silence between them; each could tell that the entire common room was watching them and pretending not to.

'Want to go to the library?' Ginny finally said.

'Sure,' said Harry with a shrug.

Ginny waited while Harry grabbed his bag, then the two of them walked to the portrait hole. The common room went quiet as they approached it, and just before the Fat Lady swung shut they could hear a babble break out.

'I'm so sick of it,' Harry said.

Ginny put a hand on his arm. 'I'm sorry.'

'You two had better hurry up and do what you're going to do; you know it's past eight o'clock!' warned the Fat Lady behind them.

They reached the library a few minutes later. Ginny wasn't surprised to see Draco sitting at a table, nor was she surprised to see that he still had the vestiges of hex marks on his hands. The reception he'd received in his common room had probably been even less friendly than the one Harry had found in the Gryffindor common room.

'Come on,' Ginny said to Harry, and tried to pull him over. When he resisted, she said, 'You really need to talk, the two of you.'

'I have nothing to say to him,' Harry said stiffly. 'His ex-girlfriend outed me this morning. I didn't even know if I--she had no right to--'

'She's Pansy, she doesn't care about rights. Besides, Draco's chosen sides; he's on our side now.'

'So he says,' Harry muttered darkly, but he followed her tugs nonetheless.

Draco looked up darkly, and Ginny felt a thrill of foreboding.

Please, she thought, please, just don't kill each other.