Monsters Inc... Harry Potter Style!

MONSTERS INC

[Scene: The Main Scare floor] 

[The monsters walk in]

[the two teenagers (Colin and Dennis) stare in awe]

[the monsters take their places]

Harry: May the best monster win, Malfoy

Draco: I still don’t understand why Potter is the top scarer! He couldn’t scare a fly if he tried!

Author: Cause you’re supposed to be evil, dimwit

Harry: Yeah.

[Assistants run cards through slot, doors come]

[After a few minutes, Draco runs back through his door, hair a mess]

Draco: Crabbe! Why in heck isn’t this a door smashed? They weren’t scared of me, they...they touched me! In places they shouldn’t!

Crabbe: We’ve got a-

[Draco clamps hand over Crabbe’s mouth]

Draco: Oh no you don’t! I read the script, you are NOT going to yell that!

 

Author:[checks script] Sorry, Draco, I should have realized everyone would much rather see Harry naked.

Draco: Potter? Naked? I’m going to barf! 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

[Scene: Locker Room]

Harry: Come on out now! Have to get you back through your door!

[Harry repeats it]

Harry: Hermione! That was your cue!

[Knocks on the stall door where Hermione is hiding]

Hermione: I’m not coming out!

Ron:[walks over] What’s going on?

Harry: Hermione isn’t coming out.

Ron: Come on, Hermione, I’m sure you don’t look like a cat!

Hermione: I said I wasn’t coming out!

[Door opens]

Hermione: [looks up] What the f**k? Who did that?

Author: [grins] I have the keyboard, honey!

Hermione: [mutters] You just wait till I get a keyboard...stupid fanfic authors, always making me, Ginny, Ron, or Harry fall in love with Draco and do all sorts of things that wouldn’t really happen!

Ron: So that’s why I was forced to shag Draco?

 

Hermione and Harry: YES!

Ron: [looks up at author] Do you want a piece of me?

Author: Do you really want to shag Draco again?

Ron: NO!

Author: Then shut up!

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

[Due to Ron’s not shutting up, Draco has been re-cast as Celia]

[Scene: Harry Housin’s]

[Harry walks in, dragging bag with “Boo” in it]

Harry: D**n, this thing is heavy....why does Hermione have to be Boo?

Author: Who else would I have picked?

Hermione: [muffled] I can’t breathe in here! And I’m squashed!

Harry: [kicks bag and hisses] Hermione! Shut up!

[Harry walks over to Ron and Draco’s table]

Harry: Erm, Ro-I mean, Mike! I need to talk to you, alone!

Ron: Thank God!

Author:[Looking through script] Hey! You’re supposed to sort of, you know, struggle here! And you’re saying all the wrong lines!

Ron: Stuff it. [turns to Harry] What do you need to talk about?

Draco:[Also thumbing through script] Did you even read the script, Weasley?

Ron:[shoots look at Draco] Just pretend you’re not listening. I want to get this over with. 

Draco: Fine [throws script over shoulder and hits an extra in the head]

Harry: [points to bag] Uh, we’ve got a problem...Randall...

Draco:[Suddenly pays attention] Hey, who is Randall now that I’m Celia?

[Author puts a convenient zipper on Draco’s mouth and zips it up]

Harry:..was on the scare floor when he wasn’t supposed to be and [whispers] a kid escaped!

Ron: [looks at author] You’re a really lame writer....

Author: Shut up, or you’ll get a zipper like my poor Draco over there [Pats Draco’s head] Sorries, sweetie... 

Ron: [sighs] Well, where’s the kid?

Harry: [Grabs bag] Sh*t, its empty!

[Ron and Harry start looking for “Boo”]

Hermione: [Pops up in front of the Octopus, who is being played my Voldemort] BOO!

Voldemort: Ahh! A Mudblood! [Pulls out wand] Avada Ked-

Author: Voldie! You’re supposed to run!

Voldemort: Aww, Can’t I have any fun? [sighs] Ahhhh! A kid! [runs]

[All of the extras, who happen to be snobby pureblooded Slytherins, run at the sight of the Muggle-born Gryffindor]

[Aurors dressed like the agents in yellow come charging towards the restaurant] 

[Harry and Ron find Hermione and stuff her in the back, heading towards home]

[Draco, having read the script, runs before he can be caught so he won't have to wear the neck cone thing]

***End of Chapter***