Food Fight

"Oy, 'Arry!" Ron Weasley said, spluttering mashed potatoes and bits of chicken all over his best friend. "Pass me a drumstick."

"Oh, Ron," said Hermione, disgustedly. "Please don't talk with your mouth full."

"Ah, sorry 'Ermione," said Ron, once again spluttering food out, but this time all over his other best friend, Hermione's face.

Ginny, Ron's younger sister by one year, smiled. It was evident to all that her brother never had any table manners, and that was just the result of being raised in the same house as the Weasley twins, the rudest pupils to ever enter Hogwarts' School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

Harry Potter picked up a chicken drumstick, and tossed it at his friend, but accidentally hit Ginny because his throw was so terrible. Who would have thought that Gryffindor Seeker extraordinaire couldn't even aim a simple toss in the right direction?

"Watch it, Potter!" Ginny shrieked.

"Oh, sorry," said Harry.

Ginny picked up a handful of mashed potatoes, and just as she was about to toss them straight at Harry's face, she was pushed by Colin Creevey, and the mashed potatoes flew straight into the back of Draco Malfoy's head. The potato bits scattered over his silver blonde hair, and Ginny watched in startled amazement.

Draco turned around, his face livid. "Who threw that?!" he demanded.

Ginny bit her lip, hoping her fellow students would be decent enough not to give her away.

"Lavender Brown!" shouted Seamus Finnigan. Then he looked at a shocked beyond belief Parvati Patil and said, "Come on, we all know she deserves it."

"It was Seamus!" screamed Parvati. "Over there! Seamus Finnigan."

Draco stood up, holding one chicken drumstick. "Make up your mind," he said. "I haven't got all night."

"Parvati Patil!" said Dean. "Get Parvati!"

"Well, which one is it then?" said Draco, impatiently.

Ginny thought for a moment she might do the right thing by standing up and saying 'it was I,' but that would have been completely pointless now, as half of the Slytherin pupils had by this time stood up, each holding a food item in his or her hand, aiming for the Gryffindor table. There was a huge eruption of flying food, and a moment of silence, and then-

"FOOD FIGHT!" Dennis Creevey called out.

The Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff students stood up and began tossing their dinner at each other. Feuding students pinned each other with mashed potatoes, settling lost wars, friends shot peas and carrots at each other for every disagreement they had ever had, and all the while the staff ate their meal happily.

Ginny stood up quickly, chucking a handful of carrots at Harry, paying him back for the drumstick. She tossed little peas at Ron and Hermione, because they were too happy. She was hit in the back of the head by a pile of potatoes, and peas and carrots showered the Great Hall.

Hermione Granger shot Ron a disapproving look, until he smothered her face with potato, then she stood up, hitting Ron hard in the back of the head with a drumstick.

Pansy Parkinson poured a goblet of pumpkin juice down Draco Malfoy's robes. "That's for ignoring me at the Yule Ball last year," she said. Then she picked up another goblet and walked over to the Gryffindor table, pouring the juice over Ginny Weasley's head. She walked back to Draco Malfoy and said, "That's for you staring at her last year while she was dancing with Longbottom."

"What about Longbottom?" Draco asked. "Aren't you going to pour pumpkin juice on him?"

Pansy thought for a moment. "No, he looks like a potato boy," she said. She grabbed a handful of potatoes and pitched them toward Neville Longbottom, hitting him directly in the rear.

Meanwhile, at the Gryffindor table, Ginny hadn't noticed that she was now very damp and stunk like pumpkin; she was too busy trying to pick out something to throw at Cho Chang. She decided that she would hit her with a little bit of everything, so she piled up a plate with all the food she could get her little hands on. She lifted the plate up over her head, careful not to spill anything, and tossed it as hard as she could, nailing Cho Chang in the face. Cho and her friends blew up into a fit of giggles. Ginny was disappointed for a second, but she retaliated by slapping a drumstick into the back of Dennis Creevey's head.

All was joyous for the students of Hogwarts, and they forgot their worries and problems as they tossed their food around, not caring how filthy they were; all except Lavender Brown and Parvati Patil, who were complaining about how their robes would surely stain.

Padma Patil tossed her peas and carrots at her twin sister Parvati. "That's for setting me up with Ron Weasley, who was hopelessly in love with Hermione Granger last year," she said to her friends Terry Boot and Mandy Brocklehurst.

Susan Bones and Hannah Abbot both shrieked with laughter as Ernie Macmillan struggled to wipe chicken grease out of his eyes. Justin Finch-Fletchely began too laughing when he saw.

Harry decided to seize the opportunity to seek revenge on those who had done him wrong, so he showered the Slytherin table with Neville's upchuck, or *puke.* But Harry also did a very stupid thing, he thought Professor Snape also deserved a little hit, and tossed a chicken leg that had been drenched with Neville's thrown up meal and hit Professor Snape in the side of the face.

Everything went silent. All the pupils dropped what they were doing, and sat down instantly. All except two; Draco and Ginny were both still standing, each holding a food item in one hand. Professor Snape turned his head and glared around at the pupils. There were a few seconds of complete, dead silence; the Great Hall was like a frozen tableaux, and then-

"WEASLEY! MALFOY!" Snape's voice thundered around the hall, bouncing off the walls, ringing through the ears of every still, silent student.

Ginny closed her eyes slowly, something she always did when she got into trouble. Draco gaped open-mouthed at the livid structure that was Severus Snape.

"TEN POINTS FROM SLYTHERIN!" Snape shouted. "AND FIFTY, NO MAKE THAT SIXTY! SIXTY POINTS FROM GRYFFINDOR!"

Harry was about to stand up and protest about the unfairness of that statement, but Snape raised one menacing hand, causing Harry to sit down, without saying a word.

"THE TWO OF YOU," said Snape, gesturing to Draco and Ginny. "WILL NOT FINISH THIS MEAL, BUT INSTEAD YOU WILL EACH WRITE A FIFTY THOUSAND WORD ESSAY ON WHY MAKING A MESS IS WRONG, AND THEN YOU WILL REPORT BACK HERE TO CLEAN THE HALL!"

***

Ginny and Draco were thrown out of the hall and sent to the Potions dungeon, where they were told to sit in silence and complete their essays.

As soon as Snape left the room, Draco turned to Ginny. "You want to see the new spell I learned?" he spoke like a three year old bragging about a new toy.

Ginny nodded, thinking there was nothing to lose.

"It does my homework," said Draco. He pulled out his wand and muttered a few in comprehendible words, and suddenly the quill in front of him began scribbling words across the parchment.

"Can you do that for me?" Ginny pleaded.

Draco grinned proudly. "Yes, I can," he said. "But you have to tell me who through the potato at my head."

"It was I," said Ginny. "I meant to hit Harry, but I got you instead."

"You meant to hit Potter?" Draco sounded impressed. "I never thought you had it in you."

"Yes," said Ginny. "Now will you do my essay?"

"Yes," said Draco, pointing his wand at Ginny's parchment and muttering those magic words once more.

"So," said Ginny. "What kind of marks does this get you?"

"Good enough to keep my father happy," Draco replied. "And that's all that matters."

There was an awkward pause in which both Draco and Ginny began fidgeting, trying to think what to say next.

"You started the food fight?" said Draco. "That's quite impressive."

"You didn't seem quite so impressed earlier," said Ginny.

"That's because I didn't know it was you," Draco replied, picking a pea out of Ginny's hair. "You look really filthy," he said.

"Yeah, and you don't?" said Ginny.

Draco looked down. "Well, I'll need a bit of cleaning," he said.

"A lot of cleaning," said Ginny. "You're hair is red, did you know?"

"Oh bloody Hell," said Draco. "Anything but red, red hair is atrocious!"

"Why thank you," said Ginny.

"But it looks nice on you," said Draco, quite out of character, shocking even himself.

Ginny suddenly felt she should change the subject, and her eyes wandered to the two pieces of parchment, on which the quills were scratching away, writing their essays. "This spell," said Ginny. "Do you use it often?"

Draco nodded. "All the time," he replied. "I don't have time to write essays with Qudditch practice and all that. I play Quidditch, you know."

"Malfoy, I'm not from some other galaxy, I know what goes on around Hogwarts," said Ginny, in a slightly sterner voice than she would have liked.

"Oh, yeah," said Draco. "I forgot."

Ginny shook her head. "No, it's okay," she said. "But this spell, what kind of marks does it get you?"

"Good enough to keep my father happy," said Draco.

"Is that all that matters?" asked Ginny. "Keeping your father satisfied?"

"Yeah," said Draco. "Other than that, there's not really much else that matters."

"Don't you ever want to rebel against your father's wish?" Ginny asked.

"Not really," said Draco. "Why? Do you rebel against your family?"

"No," said Ginny. "I just thought there was more to you than a spoiled brat who bullies other people for fun."

"Well there isn't," said Draco. "Not really. Except that I'm a great Qudditch player, and I'm a clever pupil."

"Again, I'm not from some other galaxy," said Ginny. "You aren't that good at Quidditch."

"Yes I am," Draco argued. "Of course I am!"

"Shut it, you whiny little prat," said Ginny.

"Oy! I'm doing your essay for you," said Draco. "I'd be careful if I were you."

"Oh, sorry," said Ginny.

***

Once the rest of the school was finished in the Great Hall, Draco and Ginny were sent to clean it up. They had to scrub every table and every inch of floor by hand, no magic allowed.

After what seemed like an eternity, the hall was finally spotless, and Draco and Ginny stood back to admire their great work.

"We make a good team," said Draco. "Although I don't see why they didn't just use house-elves, I'll definitely be telling my father they treated me like a servant here."

"I didn't mind that much," said Ginny. "It wasn't that bad."

"And they didn't let me use magic," said Draco. "Oh, the ministry'll be hearing about this one, I guarantee it."

"You're terrible," said Ginny.

"But making the mess was fun," said Draco. "So much fun I'd like to do it again sometime."

"We can't," said Ginny. "We'd get in so much trouble."

"Well, I don't know about that," said Draco. "How would you like to come over for dinner at the manor sometime this summer?"

"If your table manners don't improve," said Ginny. "I'd love to."

"Great," said Draco. "I'll arrange it as soon as possible."

"Good night, Malfoy," said Ginny, giving Draco a peck on the cheek, before leaving the hall.