It's Hard to be Perky when You're a Malfoy

The third task

"Joseph!"

"Caitlyn!"

Joseph jumped to his feet, swept the little blond girl off her feet and swung her around before placing her down again.

"What are you doing here?" he asked.

"We've come you see you win the cup!" she cried.

"I'm not in the cup..." he said.

"Well mummy said that we were going to Melanie's school to see Jack win the cup which didn't make sense because it's your school and you're much better than Jack so you must be the one winning the cup!"

She beamed. Joseph grinned and ruffled her hair. She scowled and tried to flatten it.

"Mum's here is she?" Joseph asked.

Caitlyn grabbed her brother's hand and began dragging him along the corridor. We ran to keep up. "Mum and Dad and Uncle Peter. Dad and Uncle Peter were talking really quickly and acting all surprised that you and Jack were wizards which is silly because I think we're all wizards or we wouldn't be here would we? I'm gonna be magic when I grow up, aren't I, Joseph?"

"Of course you are."

"And I'm gonna come here and cast spells and have a wand and a caul-don."

"Cauldron."

"Cauldron, and an owl, and a cat, and a toad."

"And a monkey?"

Caitlyn giggled. "I thought you were the monkey! Or am I? I forget. But I'm gonna make things fly and vanish and grow and shrink and fly."

"You said fly."

"Lots of flying!"

"Are you sure you and Caitlyn aren't related?" Lione asked me with a smile.

"Will you be flying in the cup?" Caitlyn asked.

"No, Caitlyn," said Joseph. "I'm not even going to be in the cup. I'm not even going to be there."

Caitlyn stopped and turned around, looking shocked. "But we're going to watch the cup. Why aren't you gonna be there?"

Joseph looked around edgily, leaned in towards his sister and whispered. "Can you keep a secret?" She nodded eagerly. "We're going to be doing... naughty things!"

Caitlyn burst into giggles and clapped. "Are you going to get into trouble?"

"Not if they don't catch us," said Joseph, seriously.

Caitlyn clapped again.

"Born prankster," said Gregory, nodding approvingly.

"Almost can't wait until she comes," I said.

"Ouch," said Lione, wincing. "Competition."

"Oh yeah." We exchanged worried looks until I couldn't hold it any more and burst out laughing.

Round the corner the Bowers were waiting, all of them blond of various shades (Mrs Bower's was a suspicious platinum blond that up close didn't quite match her darker eyebrows). Two men were talking quickly while making large hand gestures at each other just as Caitlyn had described. Mrs Bower played with a reluctant Melanie's hair while Jack pulled faces at her. Those three looked up as we approached.

"Caitlyn," said Mrs Bower fiercely. "Where have you been? I hope you haven't been up to trouble."

Caitlyn looked up at Joseph and giggled.

Mrs Bower's eyes narrowed. "Joseph?" she asked accusingly.

"I think she just came to fetch me," he said, adding with a dangerous smile which I'm certain we had a hand in developing. "But of course she could have been up to anything before I saw her."

Mrs Bower sighed visibly and held her forehead. "Don't do that to me Joseph. I think all this magic is giving me a headache."

"Hello Uncle Peter," Joseph called.

The two men looked up. "Joey!" they called and transferred their speedy conversation to above his head while Joseph beamed.

Even though I'd seen Joseph's dad before I couldn't tell which one of these men he was. It wasn't that they were identical, and one was clearly the older - if only by a few years - and I'm sure that if you knew them well enough you would have no problem telling them apart but to me they just looked far too similar. The fact that, though Melanie took after her mother, Joseph and Caitlyn were a nice mix between their parents and Jack seemed to only share is hair colour with the Bower side of his parentage, didn't help in the least. It was only when Joseph started talking about his exams that you could tell. I knew his dad was an astronomer and his uncle a linguist so when Starsy spoke about his study of ancient runes exam and one man looked excited and the other confused, then when that switched when he started on about the astronomy exam I was able to figure it out. Throughout this Mrs Bower clutched her head as if she had the magic induced migraine beyond all migraines, Jack and Melanie had a whispered conversation involving a lot of giggling and Caitlyn had wandered off and was having an in depth conversation with a painting.

Mrs Bower rubbed her forehead then looked up and raised her voice above those of her family. "Okay. Why don't we head down to the stadium and make sure we get good seats."

"But no one will be there," I pointed out.

She gave me a patronising look. "Better a good seat in an empty theatre than no seat at all in a full one."

She shot her husband and brother in law a look and walked off, grabbing Caitlyn's hand as she went. Caitlyn pulled back towards us, waving as she went. The Mr Bowers exchanged looks similar to two naughty school boys who were being called in from play when they'd rather stay out and were seriously considering just running in the opposite direction. Instead they started up another conversation at speed and followed her. Melanie and Jack took their giggling conversation somewhere else so we were by ourselves in the corridor. Joseph's grin was almost as wide as when we got Trelawney with the invisible tiger trick. That's the one with the black paint and the bouncy ball except we added in a chicken and some aspirin which really spiced it up a little. Anyway he was grinning and turned to us and said;

"Let's go up to the common room, dump our bags, change into our civvies and break out of this joint."

He swung around on the nearest candlestick then skipped, seriously skipped, down the corridor knocking on the walls until he found the door pretending to be a wall, shoved it open, and with a little hop headed up a secret staircase which he would soon discover headed no where near the Gryffindor tower, come back down and go up the right secret passage. Gregory and I stared, open mouthed. I suspect Lione would have done the same but she had to dart forward and try and rescue the candlestick Asher had swung round from smashing on the ground. She finished righting it and joined us just as Gregory said,

"He's a lot more fun when Caitlyn is around."

"I can't wait till she comes," Lione put in, as Joseph showed up again looking sheepish.

I glanced up at Gregory. "And you're gonna die come OWL time." Joseph and Lione gave me confused but amused looks, Gregory looked confused too but also annoyed. "What?" I shrugged. "No one's said it in a while."

***

While everyone else was going out to watch the third task we headed out through our tunnel into Hogsmeade and straight for the post office before it closed. The witch on duty looked up as we entered and I presented the letter Phillip had given me allowing me to pick up the squirrel on his behalf. She smiled as she read it.

"Aw," she cooed. "He really is a sweetie; I don't want to give him up. I'll have to contact this bloke get one of my own. I'll fetch him, he just woke up."

She handed my letter back and as she went to fetch him I re-read the instructions at the bottom.

'Squirrels, even highly trained magical ones, HATE owl travel' it explained. 'That's why this is all so complicated. When you collect him let him run around for a while - inside a confined building of course. After that give him some food and water, that's been sent along as well. A blue potion should be there as well. Add two drops of this to his water and it will put him out again for the final stage of the journey up to Hogwarts. Hope your friend likes her Squirrel! - Phillip'

The witch returned with a cage containing an adorable red squirrel sitting to attention and looking around curiously.

"Aww!" We chorused.

"If we shut your door can we let him out for a run?"

She smiled. "Sure." And herself went over to shut and bolt the door.

I pointed my wand at the little lock on the squirrel's cage, he watched me eagerly.

"Alohomora,"

The small door swung open and the squirrel leapt out, twirled up my arm and sat on my shoulder. I giggled as his tail tickled my neck. He then leapfrogged Lee and Joseph's heads before landing on Gregory's and hanging upside down, staring into his eyes. We laughed as Gregory leant back and the squirrel scrambled forward to keep his grip and ending up sitting, bolt upright, on Asher's nose. As he leapt down and scampered about on the floor while Lione and I set up his food and water bowls. When he spotted them, he scampered up to them and tucked in eagerly. A short while later he was asleep, tucked up into a tiny little ball. Lione's aww reached levels only dogs could hear. I think mine went higher.

Lione and Gregory had got hold of their family owls and Joseph had sneaked out Melanie's owl to take the squirrel up to our room in the Gryffindor tower. Hold on, I'll rephrase that. It makes it sound like Joseph wandered down nonchalantly with Melanie's owl under his jacket and he didn't. We just sent all three owls to meet us outside the post office, mostly because we were too lazy to carry the squirrel and all the things that came with him (including the proper, bigger cage, which was folded down) all the way back to Hogwarts and try not to be spotted. Especially since only Lione and I could get him up to the actual girl's dormitory.

We sent the owls off then discussed what to do next.

"I say some butterbeer down at the Three Broomsticks is well deserved," Gregory chipped in.

"But if we go back now," I pointed out. "We could catch the end of the third task." The other three grinned at each other and I felt myself blush. "Well aren't you interested?" I asked.

Joseph shrugged and Gregory looked thoughtful.

"This could be the last trip to Hogsmeade we have," Gregory mused.

Lione rolled her eyes. "If you want to go back," she said. "I'll come with you. I don't mind."

The nicest part about that was that I knew she honestly didn't. That if I took her up on that offer she'd happily come back to the castle with me and we'd have a good time at the third task and the following celebrations or deep mourning. But then Gregory and Joseph would be left alone together in Hogsmeade. And I despite them being my best friends I didn't trust them as far as I could throw them. Especially not within such easy reach of Weasley Wizarding Wheezes.

"We don't need to hurry," I decided. "Let's go to Weasley Wizarding Wheezes."

"Or we could sneak into the Shrieking shack," Gregory suggested, grinning evilly.

"For the last time and to repeat what I said last, last time," said Joseph, firmly. "No. I like her idea."

We went, laughing and making wild and occasionally bloody predictions about the outcome of the third task, down to the prankster's shop and opened the door.

"Hi Batty," we chorused.

Batty appeared at the counter looking shocked at the sight of us.

"Yes?" he said.

"Your favourite customers are back to view your secret stash," Gregory announced, winking.

"I beg your pardon?"

"We want to see the back," Gregory stated, plainly.

"No one is allowed to see the back," Batty bristled. "And you're not allowed to be here, this isn't a Hogsmeade day."

Our mouths fell open. "You always serve us," Joseph pointed out.

"No I don't."

"You do, I should remember. We're always down here."

"No I don't and I've never seen you here before in my life," he said a little too loudly. We looked around the shop, looking to see if he was talking to anyone else but us. "Now get back to school before you get in trouble."

We backed out of the shop.

"What was that about?" Gregory and I cried the obvious.

"Maybe his boss is cracking down on him encouraging students to bunk off."

"Are you kidding?" Gregory exclaimed. "My dad and Uncle are his bosses - and they would never do that. Especially if I was the customer."

"Can we bear in mind for a moment that the first day we met him he was wearing a monkey mask," Joseph pointed out. "He does odd things."

"He's a prankster," I defended. "He's on the board and everything."

"So's Lione, and the first day I met her-" Joseph hesitated. "Well... she was acting normal then. But it's been very rare since."

"It's just..." Gregory shook his head. "Odd. I dunno, let's just go to the Three Broomsticks."

We weren't joking this time; we walked, silently and rather worriedly down to the pub. We were greeted by the blond barmaid.

"I didn't expect to see any Hogwarts people down here today," she said. "I would have thought everyone was up watching the triwizard tournament."

"Not us," said Gregory.

"Georgian window again?"

"Naturally."

We sat down and drank our Butterbeer and our, sort of, automatic defence mechanism kicked in and we were soon chatting about the most ridiculous things you probably wouldn't even think of and laughing so hard the butterbeer came out of our noses. Honestly. Not a pretty sight I can assure you. We were too bust listening to Joseph's joke that we didn't spot the men come in.

"And he's climbing and he's climbing and he's climbing and there's this little door at the top of the ladder and inside this door there's a penguin."

Gregory fell back in his seat, laughing, slopping his butterbeer as he went which made us all laugh even harder and Joseph gasp to get out the rest of the sentence. We didn't notice the customers nearest the door pick up their coats and very swiftly exit. Even if we had wanted too we couldn't have seen the blond barmaid grab the most expensive bottles off the shelf and disappear round the back where it was safer. We were out of sight and rolling about the table laughing.

"And... and," Joseph was trying. "So... the penguin... the penguin says-"

We stopped as the two men dressed in black robes with their black hoods over their heads turned the corner into our back part of the inn. We stood up, suddenly not laughing anymore.

"He said I told you it was blue," Joseph finished, almost to himself.

We stared at them. They stared at us. Although it was hard to tell as we couldn't see their faces. The cowl was pointed in our direction and didn't seem inclined to move. We, however did. Lione leapt up on the table.

"Gregory," she said, jumping out the window. "Learn from your ancestors."

We scrambled after her just as the men stalked forward. Joseph went first then lent me a helping hand so that I could get on the table and out the window while Gregory brought up the rear then Lione slammed the windows shut just as Asher came through and we scarpered, not caring which direction we were going so long as it was away from the pub. As I realised we were actually going away from the tunnel as well I swiftly changed direction but Gregory grabbed the back of my sweat shirt.

"Not yet."

We stopped behind a house, gasping for breath, fumbling out our wands and pressing so hard against the wall it was almost as if we were trying to press ourselves into it for safekeeping.

"Who are they?" I cried.

"I don't know," said Joseph hysterical to the point of sarcasm. "They could be Hogwarts new truancy monitors for all I know."

"I think they're who Batty was afraid of," said Gregory.

"Why are they after us?" I asked.

Joseph and Gregory looked at Lione.

"Oh great," she said.

"Where do we go?" Joseph asked.

"Back to the castle would be a good idea," said Lione.

"We can't go straight there," argued Gregory. "They'll just chase us all the way in and we don't want them to know a way into Hogwarts."

"Let's loop the post office and head back that way," said Lione. "Try and loose them."

"No, let's head to the shrieking shack and hide there."

"Are you crazy?!"

"Keep it down; they could be here any minute."

Suddenly caught by a deep sense of foreboding I peaked around the corner of the house, straight into the darkened face of our pursuers. I have never screamed so loud.