On Spiders, Werewolves and Severus Snape

On Spiders, Werewolves and Severus Snape

"He's not unbalanced. He's just suffered a severe disappointment."

Severus threw a jar of newts' eyes against the stone wall. It smashed, the glass exploding into needle-like fragments, the eyes clumping together, sliding, dribbling in a sticky mess down the wall and oozing into a puddle on the floor. He felt a bitter satisfaction, his chest heaving as he watched the pathetic little eyes, the sense of power at the mess he'd just made. His stomach was clenched in a painful knot, a heavy weight on his chest and throat as though he was being smothered. Smothered in impotent rage.

He reached for another jar, and dropped it. It fell with a loud clunking noise and rolled away under the desk.

'Throw it - you lousy bastard, why didn't you throw it? Toads' hearts - see them slither, slide icky, slippery, oozing blood. Would you deny yourself the satisfaction?'

'Kinky, Severus. Hold that thought.'

"Get out of my... effing head Albus!"

The small voice that had prevented him from exploding the jar of toads' hearts squeaked somewhere in the background of his mind, struggling to come to consciousness. Angrily he raised his wand and A-Ked a bumble bee, halting the buzzing instantly. His lips twitched slightly as it plummeted to the ground. Power.

'Take control, Severus.'

"Get out of my head, you old bugger."

Again Severus had shouted the words to the empty ceiling, unthinkingly. He felt the rage rise in him again, clenching his muscles and grinding his teeth as he sensed, rather than heard the Headmasters' chuckle.

Aiming a well-placed kick at an unfortunate chair, he slammed his office door back against the wall and stormed off up the corridor and out of the front door, letting the great entrance doors fall behind him with a violence that blew out half of the torches in the Entrance Hall. The chair had barely finished rolling over, shards from the glass insert on his office door still bounced around his office and the torches hadn't quite got to thinking about relighting themselves when he abruptly turned around and headed straight for the Forbidden Forest.

'Forbidden Forest, Severus?'

'If you don't get out of my head, RIGHT NOW, I will personally force you out'

'How, Severus?'

'Come with me, Albus. Come right with me now. Follow me; I've got ways of destroying us both.' Severus' inner voice had become silkily soft, enticing and dangerous. He felt something change, as though a slight POP had signalled a sudden absence.

The little voice was again struggling to be heard. Severus squashed it angrily, mentally grinding it to pulp, bloody pulp beneath flailing fists. The voice of reason had no place in him now.

'That bloody Potter - arrogant like his bloody father, thinks he can come one over me. Thirteen years old and he thwarts me at every step.'

'Be a man, Severus.' The voice of reason had finally made itself heard. Severus responded by swinging round and punching his clenched fist hard into the unyielding trunk of the nearest tree.

"SHUT UP, SHUT UP." He stared at his fist. It dripped blood, stinging. The skin had peeled back from the knuckles.

'That was really quite stupid, Severus,' said the voice of reason, calmly.

Snape growled, his lips curling. Far in the distance a wolf howled. Remus Lupin. Bitterly he remembered his own words.

"You cannot do this Albus. One, he is a danger to the students. Two, he is a friend of Black. Have you forgotten? You can be sure Black will try to use him if you bring him to Hogwarts."

"Severus, Remus would not assist Black. I trust I know his character better than you do."

Ignored me, cast my words aside, and now look what it has come to. Students drawn in and injured, a werewolf running loose in the school grounds and Black - GONE. Escaped. I WAS RIGHT!

He shuddered at the memory of the scene he had woken up to. Attacked and injured by his own misled students, he had regained consciousness to find his eyes immediately drawn to movements on the far side of the lake. Dementors. Two human figures curled in fear in their midst - Black and the Potter boy. In horror he found his wand and raised it, even as a dementor grabbed the boy, forcing his head back. Knowing it would be too late, he attempted to gather his thoughts sufficiently to utter the patronus spell, certain it would be too late and too weak.

A silvery gleam streaked past the corner of his eye, charging down the dementors. Severus furrowed his brow, watching as the dementors dispersed. The stag - it was a stag patronus, he realised, turned back, crossing the lake to a shadowy figure. James? Remembering his duty, Severus hurriedly repaired the situation by conducting the unconscious Harry Potter and Sirius Black back to the castle. He looked carefully at the boy as he walked towards the main doors. He did look like his father, there was no doubt about it. And this night he had nearly got himself killed, first at the hands of his father's best friend and then by dementors, who would have delivered a fate far worse than death. To his horror he realised that emotion was affecting him, making his hands shake and eyes cloud with an odd, prickling sensation. He looked instead at Black, the mass murderer who had caused all the problems in the first place, who had turned traitor, had somehow fooled the Azkaban prison guards and lured three impressionable students out of school. His lips curled in a sneer, an old malice returning with the comfort of an old friend, familiar sensations from a youth that had seemed so distant, only yesterday.

'You are tormenting yourself, Severus.' The voice of reason spoke again. Severus felt an unaccountable desire to punch the tree again, just to shut it up.

'And spend the night in hospital wing with Harry Potter?'

He didn't punch the tree. Although he might as well have done as far as the tree was concerned; it had clearly perceived his thought because it uttered an audible 'ouch' and stepped back several metres.

Reason was definitely returning. It felt bad. It was so depressing, being reasonable. Especially after the events of the night. Potter had conjured the patronus, Potter had somehow released Sirius Black and dashed Severus' promised recognition to shards as surely as Severus had smashed his own jar of newts' eyes. And to top all things off, he - the Head of Slytherin House, no less, the man who had done his duty at all times to the best of his abilities - had been told off for shouting.

'You were out of order,' insisted the voice of reason.

"I didn't ask for your opinion," he growled. Hold on to the anger. It feels good. It feels so-o good.

He strode on, deep into the forest. The wolf howled again, closer.

'Severus?'

'Go away.' He started to close his mind, trying to block Albus Dumbledore out. He's worse than that bloody reasonable voice that won't leave me alone.

'Be careful, Severus. I'd like to see you in one piece at breakfast tomorrow.' The headmaster's presence removed itself with another POP.

The wolf howled, a long ululating howl.

"Bloody moon worshipper." Severus looked up, into the eyes of a spider. A large spider. Eight gleaming eyes reflected the moonlight filtering through the trees, eight legs advanced slowly.

Sorry 'bout breakfast Dumbledore, he grinned. Guess I'll see you in the next life - just don't turn up there too soon, eh. Oh - and don't let the Dark Lord leave this world too soon either, I'd quite like some peace from him too.

The spider's jaws were surprisingly gentle, gripping Severus' torso firmly it walked with a peculiarly paddling-like gait, back into dense trees where no moonlight filtered through. He vaguely wondered why he hadn't attempted to hex the spider. He couldn't now, his wand was concealed in his robes somewhere in the region of the spider's pincer grip - he was sure he could feel the shaft of wood pressing into his side.

'Do you really want to die?'

'Yes,' he growled back at the reasonable voice. 'I shall enjoy it. It shall be sweet, so sweet. I'll be rid of you forever.'

Reasonable voice responded with a stunned silence.

'Er, didn't you know...?

'Know what?'

'Well, you see, when you die, you don't lose me. In fact, not only do we go together, but without your body I become pretty important.'

'What?' Severus started struggling frantically - not that it had much effect, all he could move was his legs and his head and the spider was now some thirty feet above the ground, swinging lightly along a silky rope. He felt his heart fly into his mouth as the spider leapt into the air, swinging wildly on the end of a silk cable.

'Wow, that was awesome!'

'Still want to die?' purred reasonable voice, in an annoyingly self-satisfied tone.

"Get lost," he snarled. "Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee..."

'You're enjoying yourself, aren't you?' the voice teased as the spider completed its second jump.

"Ugh! Sorry, bit my tongue. Didn't quite catch that."

The spider scrambled along a network of thread, glistening with silvery, gooey drops. Severus opened his eyes, watching the tree branches flash past. In the centre the threads were closer together, radiating out in a dissected polygon. The spider dropped him and crouched over him, legs splayed. Severus lay back calmly, stuck fast on a sticky thread, arms and legs spread-eagled. He looked up at the spider's jaws, the animal a huge black mass above him, lined with silver. Each individual spine and bristle on its legs and jaw, even the claw at the end had a silver lining. He watched the palps waving above and the jaws descending.

'See you in the next life, Sev,' said a very smug sounding, reasonable voice.

"Sev! How dare you. I won't be seeing you anywhere if I can help it." He started struggling violently, watching the branches jerk and shake as he tugged the threads that held him.

"Hold still," hissed the spider.

"Who asked your opinion? And who bloody taught you to talk in the first place?" Severus hissed back, still struggling.

"Hagrid," replied the spider, watching him with what could only be described as an amused expression.

Severus gave a great howl of rage and suddenly found his wand arm free. Grabbing his wand and brandishing it, he challenged the spider, "I've killed once tonight already. Give me a reason, I swear I'll do it."

'Uh - upsetting him right now might not be a good idea,' said the reasonable voice. The wolf howled directly underneath, a noise that rang through Severus' head and filled him with righteous anger.

The spider spat at him, and severed the web with a swift stroke of its jaws. Severus was only dimly aware of the soporific effect of the spider's spit before a branch caught him painfully across the back, then another, and another that ripped the skin across his ribs as he bounced from limb to limb, his cloak hung in strips on about four or five branches between twenty and thirty feet off the ground.

"Oof."

"Oof. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Waooooooooo...waoooooooo. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr."

"Cut the small talk Lupin."

"Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr."

"Aaaaaaahhh."

'Did you just scream, Sev? I thought you were a man,' reasonable voice taunted.

"I didn't expect him to bloody slash me. If he'd given warning I would have - er, not got slashed." Severus raised his wand. The beast backed away, growling, his yellow eyes fixed on the little pointy stick.

"Help me out, for once. He's a work colleague, I can't A-K him."

'Nah. You're on your own now. You've been insulting me long enough.' Reasonable voice lapsed into a long silence.

'Severus?'

'Er - yes, Albus?'

'Put your wand away like a good boy.'

'What?'

'You need to stroke him. Show you don't mean any harm.'

'WHAT! Albus, this is Remus Lupin you're talking about. I can't..."

The only reply was the impression of a soft chuckle.

I've already been slashed, it surely can't get worse. Severus tucked his wand away in his robes and held his arms by his sides, standing perfectly still, his eyes on the ground. In one bound the beast was on him, cuffing him to the ground and rolling him over with surprising gentleness. Yeah, like the spider, Severus thought, wondering if the soporific venom in the spit was overcoming him. He felt unaccountably peaceful, and reached up to touch the animal's paw. The wolf rolled over onto its back, whining eagerly. Severus shuddered, and hesitantly rubbed its belly, trying not to look...

"Heck, Lupin, you don't have to hide that under your robes all the time, do you?" He was experiencing a sensation that could only be described as rather nervous, but the wolf lay on his back, squirming and thumping his tail in pleasure.

The wolf bounded to his feet, nudging Severus with his nose as he hesitantly got up, fingering his wand under his cloak. The wolf sat on its haunches, gazing up lovingly at Severus, the er... yeah, still very visible.

'I think he's offering you a ride,' whispered reasonable voice, which had obviously decided to stop sulking.

Twenty minutes later Albus Dumbledore met his errant Professor just outside the main Entrance, helping him to his feet as he stumbled off the wolf's back. Remus Lupin wagged his tail and loped off into the moonlight.

"How are you Severus?"

"How am I? I've been stuck to a sticky thread, spat upon, dumped, slashed and taken for a ride and you ask how am I?" Severus' voice had been rising in pitch as the shape of Cornelius Fudge appeared at the top of the steps, but before he got around to answering Dumbledore's question he rolled his eyes up and keeled forward in a dead faint.

"He's been through a lot tonight, poor fellow," said Fudge kindly, looking down on the shape that slumped in Dumbledore's arms, head and arms lolling backwards.

"Absolutely normal reaction," Dumbledore insisted. "Minerva did exactly the same thing the first time she saw Remus Lupin without his clothes."