With Arms Wide Open

With Arms Wide Open

Chapter Three: Conversations and Confusion

***

"Although I would like our world to change

It helps me to appreciate

Those nights and those dreams

But, my friend, I'd sacrifice all those nights

If I could make the Earth and my dreams the same

The only difference is

To let love replace all our hate"

~part of "Higher", by Creed~

***

"Oh my god," Lily whispered. She brought her hands up before her mouth.

A tall man with shoulder-length messy black hair, shiny as though it hadn't been washed in days, and black beetle eyes stood before her.

It was Snape. A hook-nosed, malicious, patronizing Severus Snape.

The very same guy who had tormented her daily about her Muggle heritage. The guy who complained day in and day out that her bright hair was a distraction in class, and that she cheated on papers when every teacher and student (including he) knew that she had not. The same guy who had constantly accused her group of friends as of being liars and dangerous. The one and only person in her year who actually did better than she in Potions.

The very same guy she had hoped never again to see beyond Hogwarts.

Horrible, evil, Snape. How she hated him.

Snape was looking at her, his expression hostile and stone cold. His eyebrows were furrowed to a 'V', and his eyes were narrowed in disgust. "Lily," he hissed.

Lily dropped her hands once more to her side. Matching Snape's icy demeanor with one of her own, she scowled, "Severus, what are you doing?"

He wouldn't even answer. He just stood before her, his hand still gripping her shoulder painfully. She tried to shake him off, going so far as to jerk her shoulder as far back as possible, but she could not dislodge him. What was he doing?

"Let go of me," she demanded. He only dug his fingers in farther. Don't flinch, she thought. Don't ever give him the satisfaction of knowing he's getting to you. That's all he wants, and you know that fully well. "You should know by know what I can do to you if I wish."

She had thought he couldn't grip her any tighter, but apparently he could. Against all her wishes, she winced slightly.

Unfortunately, Snape noticed. For a second, she swore she saw something like mercy or sympathy in his eyes. But then it disappeared, and before she knew it, indifference and disdain froze over. Perhaps she had imagined it all. It was almost scarier to believe he could be kind to her than just feel constant contempt. That would make him almost.....human.

He then began to laugh. It was not a friendly laugh, not the kind shared between family and friends. Neither was it the chuckle of a student when a peer distracts the class. It was literally a cackle, cheerless and humorless; of one she could very well have nightmares.

"You'd better watch out," he threatened, his face sour.

"What?" Lily was horribly confused.

"You heard me. You'd better keep an eye on your precious, innocent friends," he spat sarcastically. Lily figured he was talking about James and Sirius and their 'gang'; a huge enmity had always stood between them and Snape. All those times the Marauders pranked on Snape.....but he had been too nosy in their business for his own good. After all, there had been that whole incident with Remus last May, when Snape had been determined to discover Remus' deepest secrets. "He is, as you know, coming to power."

Snape suddenly let go of her shoulder, glared at her once more for good (or bad) measure, and stalked off.

What was Snape talking about?

***

Lily had been too shaken up for a few minutes to move, much less finish shopping. It was an hour before she managed to pull herself together and get all her groceries home.

She walked into her flat and into the kitchen, throwing the bags onto the floor. She'd leave them for Katty to put away.

Too exhausted to do anything else (she had had a long day at work), Lily trudged into her bedroom and slumped facedown onto her bed. She barely managed to kick off her shoes before she fell asleep.

***

Peter was in the midst of checkmating Katty's king when Lily had suddenly burst through the flat door, stumbled into and out of the kitchen, and into her room. Katty was absolutely hopeless at chess--whether wizard's or Muggle--but Peter seemed pretty adept at it. Knowing there was no way she could win, she had started to give up after only her second move.

Peter looked at Katty oddly.

"What's up with Lily?" he asked. He grabbed a handful of chips from a dish on the floor, and moved to set up his pawns. He and Katty had been sitting on the floor before the TV, playing wizard's chess. They had just finished their second game; Peter had, of course, won the first.

You know, I really don't know," she responded, letting Peter place all her pieces in their appropriate spots. As logical a person she was, she had barely mastered even the basics of chess. Oh well.

Peter shoved another chip into his mouth. "Well, she looked pretty upset to me. Do you think someone was horrible to her today?"

Katty shook her head and smiled softly. "This is Lily we're talking about, Peter. She'd probably just bite the other prat's head off. No, she must have had a ton of work today and is just tired now."

"You're probably right," sighed Peter resignedly. "You're white, so it's your move first."

And so they started a new game.

They were finished with that game and halfway through the next one when Lily's bedroom door creaked open. Katty didn't look up; she knew she couldn't see Lily from her position on the floor, so there was no point in doing so. A few moments later Lily was standing sullenly at the edge of the sofa anyway, clad in the same blue running pants and white form-fitting T-shirt she had worn when she first came in. Except this time, her clothes were slightly wrinkled and her hair was in disarray, with wisps of red hair jutting out from her ponytail.

Her eyes volleyed back and forth between Katty and Peter. Peter smiled at Lily, and stood up to greet her. "Hey," he said, smiling.

"Where'd you come from?" Lily demanded, confusion reigning in her eyes. Maybe she was still half asleep, Katty thought.

Peter's face fell. "I-I only came to visit," he said, timid as ever. "James and Sirius weren't in--they're still at work--but Katty had just gotten home."

Lily blinked a couple of times, and fell back into the couch kneading the temples of her forehead. "Oh, I'm sorry, Peter. I just had a really bad day."

Katty glanced up at Peter. "Told you so," she mouthed.

He rolled his eyes. "What happened, Lily?"

So began the recounting of Lily's run-in with Snape.

As she finished, Peter looked at Katty. He had a very determined look of triumph on his face. "I was right," he announced. And, damn it, he was.

"What are you talking about?" Lily asked. Katty and Peter just looked at each other and started to laugh.

***

"Sorry we're late," Sirius cried, sliding into a free seat in the back of one of the Ministry's lecture halls. It was Friday--the morning after the Snape Incident (as Peter had thoughtfully termed it). James rushed in behind him, looking apologetically at the man with no leg in the front of the room.

The man sighed heavily. "Vigilance," he muttered. "Without that you can't succeed as an Auror. Laddies, I seriously hope you both really are vigilant, because you sure as hell don't show it by not being able to observe a clock properly."

Sirius burst out laughing. "But we definitely watch the girls!" he crowed. "And if they are--"

Already anticipating what his friend would say, James smacked the back of Sirius' head. "Sorry, Alastor," he cut in. "The Floo Network wasn't working when we tried to get into The Leaky Cauldron. We had to take the Muggle bus to get here, and there was traffic. We came as soon as we could."

"That's all right," Alastor Moody eying them suspiciously, as if he couldn't believe that the two boys had made any effort to come on time. On any other day, James thought, that would be true, but today they had seriously tried. "Just don't do it again, or else you'll be out a job." He walked up to the podium on the stage and faced the crowd before him. "Now then, before we begin, does anyone have any announcements?"

Someone in the middle of the hall stood and looked around the room. "We're out of tea," he said gloomily.

"Thank you for your contribution, Mr. Crasston," Moody said, just as seriously. "I'll be sure to notify the authorities. Anything else? Anything less important?" This time, although a few people chuckled, no one stood or spoke. "Well, if that's so, then I'll just continue with the update.

"According to the reports from Surveillance and Intelligence, the attacks from You-Know-Who's followers have been steadfastly increasing. Besides this, we noticed that the majority of these attacked families have all had one thing in common. Many have had family members who have been Head Boy or Girl at Hogwarts, Durmstrang, Beauxbatons, or one of the smaller wizarding schools. It is very possible that the Dark Lord is targeting these men and women because they have already proven themselves as capable, powerful, and intelligent people. Having someone with these qualifications in his ranks might be very desirable; it even appears that he has sent 'letters of invitation' to these families, in order to recruit followers. Trying to persuade these people to join his army might be a priority; at the very least, especially if his offers are rejected, You-Know-Who may just want competition out of his way.

"We tell you this for a number of reasons. One major reason is because a few of you have been Head Boy or girl at your school, and many have been Prefects. Although You-Know-Who has yet to make a direct attack on an Auror or his family, we surmise that it may not be long before he does. Another reason is because, as part of the Division of Dark Activity Management, it will lay on each and every one of you to quell these attacks and attempt to maintain safety among innocent wizards, whether you are an Auror, analyzing reports, or working undercover."

Moody paused, and took a deep drink from the dark green flask on his hip. At once, everyone in the room began talking; the hall immediately buzzed with fear, timidity, and excitement.

Rather, everyone talked but James. True, Sirius was blabbing on next to him; whether about Moody's news or some miscellaneous Quidditch game, James could not tell (he sometimes thought Sirius was bipolar). When it all came down to it, James was quite frankly terrified. He not only had been Head Boy the year before, but Lily had been Head Girl. To make matters even worse, the pair had been one of the most formidable and powerful teams Hogwarts had produced (and those were the words of Professor McGonagall, not James). And as it was, James fiercely cared more about his group of friends than his family, who he rarely ever saw. So he might have to work at protecting not only Lily and himself, but also his closest friends. It was not the nicest thought.

After a minute, Alastor Moody cleared his throat and began speaking again. "You all here are in different stages of your preparation in becoming a full employee for the Ministry. The reason many of you have been in the dark regarding these matters is because this information, while vague, is confidential. If this leaks out, it may cause unnecessary panic, and then the Dark legions will be aware of our knowledge. We only decided yesterday to enlighten you all because times are increasingly becoming darker. A horizon of death and destruction is imminent, and we'd like you to be prepared. If you do not believe you can withhold this information from others, then you may be unfit to work in this Division and need to contact me as soon as possible.

"This meeting is over. From now on, each subsequent Wednesday we will gather to go over any new information. For now, you have a fifteen minute break before you must report in your appropriate departments."

People immediately began filing out of the room. James and Sirius stood as well. They were at the end of only their first month in training (they had started in the middle of August); they had three training months left before a two month apprenticeship, and an indefinite time as working in a team, before being ready to act on their own.

"James, are you okay," a soft voice asked. James turned around. The speaker was Hannah Ackringer, standing next to her boyfriend Frank Longbottom, a short blond-haired man, and his friend Liam Figgs. "Your face is dead white."

"I'm all right," managed James. In truth, he was still completely shaken up about the whole attack thing.....he could be hit a lot harder and personally than he originally thought.

Sirius clapped a hand on his friend's shoulder. "James, just breathe. There's nothing you can do right now. With luck, you won't be contacted at all. I mean, does Voldemort--" and here the other three gasped at the use of the name "--really expect James the Great Gryffindor Quidditch God to bow down to him?"

Sighing, James rolled his eyes. "You never know, friend, you never know."

***

Later that day, Katty was attending class at the University. She had long had it with finding some acceptable job in the wizarding world, so had decided to merely continue with her education until she found something fitting. As it was, she was working in a coffee shop in downtown London, in order to have some extra money (her parents couldn't very well provide everything, now could they).

So now, she was sitting in a highly uncomfortable wooden chair (she'd have thought that wizards could at least have magically enhanced the chairs) at a lecture that simply had to be the most boring thing in which she ever participated. How could that professor drone on for so long about how magic affected the minerals in the water? The professor was probably even worse than Professor Binns in Hogwarts, who had taught the History of Magic (because at least she found that material interesting). Well, she knew it was her fault for signing up for the class, but seriously.....what possible relevance could magic and minerals have? And this particular course's title was so misleading: Magic in the Earth. Oh well. It was a good two hours to catch up on sleep; she hadn't really needed the credit for this course anyway--this class was just something she decided to take on a whim.

By some strange luck (or, rather, torture on her part), Katty managed not to fall asleep. In any case, when she trudged out of the room, her brain seemed practically shut down.

She then saw a vaguely familiar face in the crowd, and her brain immediately woke up. What was he doing here? she thought, picking up speed. With that, she started following the light brown-haired boy in the dark red robes.

Remus was moving surprisingly fast for someone who was shoving through the University halls, which were swarming with tons of students. Katty had difficulty chasing him; whenever Remus passed through one particular crowd, the hole closed right before she reached it.

It was extremely infuriating.

Finally, Katty had had it. "Remus," she cried. Oh, so pitiful. The person next to her didn't even seem to hear. She tried again, louder so as to be heard over the students: "Remus!"

This time, Remus froze: he had heard her. Unfortunately, so did everyone else in the hall; the chattering in the corridor completely stopped. Remus turned around slowly; confusion lay prominent on his face. "Katty?" he asked.

Katty glared at everyone around her.....to their credit, they went back to their own business. She then turned her glare on Remus, who cringed slightly. That (the look) was completely accidental, of course.....he had just sort of been in her view. She didn't want to make him uncomfortable, so now grinned brilliantly at him in compensation (and Remus now looked absolutely confused). Katty opened her mouth to speak to him, but just as quickly realized that she didn't want the milling crowd to overhear their conversation; in a few moments, she had strode over next to him.

"Hey," she said softly. "What are you doing here?"

He looked down at her, his brown eyes reflecting regret and.....something else, something she didn't really know. All the same, she could feel her stomach tightening and her heart lurching around in response. He slowly lifted his hand and placed it on Katty's shoulder. "Not now," he began. "Can I tell--can we talk later? Somewhere else?"

"When?"

Remus looked up at the ceiling, and then back at Katty, awash in a soft blue light--the ceiling was a mosaic of stories and patterns structured in colored glass. He bit his lip, as if slightly unsure as to what or how to speak next. "How about tonight?" he asked. Katty lifted an eyebrow. "During dinner. There are a few restaurants around the university. I'll drop by your flat at.....seven? Is that alright?"

"Yes," Katty replied. "Fancy or casual dress? Muggle or wizard?"

"Your choice."

"What?"

He chuckled. "Wear whatever you want. I'll wear clothes that can act as fancy or casual. I'd say dress like a Muggle though; there are more places where we can go."

Katty grinned, her heart still flopping. "That sounds like a plan."

Remus grinned back and quickly hugged her. "I got to run now, though. I can't be late. See you later."

And before she could blink, he had disappeared down the hall.

***

An hour before Remus was to stop by, Katty rushed around her room, trying to find something suitable to wear. Well, she was pacing more than looking.

Why am I acting like this, she thought. I mean, I've known this guy for seven years! For god's sake, he knows almost everything about me! He's just my friend.

You want to impress him, spoke up a smaller voice. You want more than friendship...you want him to like you, too! This is practically a date, anyway.

Ergh.

At some point during her frantic search for clothes, Lily had entered Katty's room. She now was sitting cross-legged on Katty's bed, wearing a decisive smirk on her face. "Wear red," she said after a while. "You always look good in red: it sets off your hair and eyes nicely."

Katty stopped and looked at her friend. "Red?" she asked. She had been trying to find something blue or black.

"Yeah, red. Or, wait! What about that maroon satin thing your aunt gave you last year for Christmas...the skirt you wore when we went out celebrating my birthday?"

"Oh, right!" Katty turned back to her wardrobe.

A few minutes later, she had her whole outfit planned. She ushered Lily out of the room, and got changed. Her skirt was really a deep crimson, swirling at the bottom and ending a few inches above her knees. With it she wore a white peasant top, a pair of white sandals, and a necklace with a small diamond flower charm (which she had borrowed from Lily). She pulled her hair half-up, French-braiding the top portion. She then stepped out of her room, and joined Lily in the kitchen, where her friend was stirring some soup.

"You look lovely," Lily began. "Remus'll love you."

Katty could feel her jaw dropping on its own volition. "What?"

"Oh, you know you like him." Lily grinned, shaking a spoon at her. "You thought you could keep it a secret, could you? Well you thought wrong."

Katty knew that denying it would be useless. "Yeah, I do like him," she said softly.

"Well, could luck." And Lily went back to making her soup.

***

At seven-thirty, Katty and Remus were seated at a small Italian restaurant near the University.

After a few minutes, Remus sighed. "I suppose you want to know why I was at the University, don't you?"

Katty simply nodded her ascent, and he continued.

"Well, the truth is, I am a student at the University--"

"What?" At that, Katty couldn't keep silent.

"Let me finish, Katty, please. I am a student, but not like you are. When I applied, they gave me a grant so I could, basically, study abroad. Well, that's not exactly correct. It's so I can study in the field, observing the Dark Arts."

Now everything made sense to Katty. Remus' long absences.....his silences.....his obvious interest in the Dark Arts. "You're writing your book!" she cried.

Remus grinned. "Yes, I am. The people at the University thought it was a great way to both learn the material and get ahead in life. So, if I happen to be in town--you know, visiting you guys--then I'll attend lectures. Other than that, I travel around to gather information for my book. When I do that, they send scrolls and books to me via the post, so I can still do schoolwork and be marked down. I then send the work back."

"But why didn't you tell anyone? As far as I know, James and Sirius don't even know."

"Of course they don't! I haven't told anyone before this; you really are the first person to know, besides my teachers."

"But why?"

Remus sighed again. By now, he should know that Katty wouldn't give up until she got a decent answer. "You know the hard time everyone gave James and Sirius for wanting to be Aurors. Their job is going to immerse them in evil all the time; it's quite dangerous. And I'm going to be among Dark creatures all the time."

"Oh, right," Katty began, smiling. "I know the real reason you didn't want to tell anyone. You know we're all going to hate you so much for not wanting to be near us. You prefer the Dark Arts to your friends."

"Katty!" Remus said, looking hurt. He had been looking down, and apparently hadn't noticed that Katty was being sarcastic.

"Remus, I'm sorry. I was joking. Anyway," and now Katty grinned again, "women say some really stupid things sometimes. You'd think we were men."

This time, Remus was looking right at her, and just laughed. "That may just be true," he said. "It just might be true."

And then their dinner arrived, and they changed the subject.

***

The next day was Saturday, and the four boys (Peter and Remus had spent the night) were over at Katty's. Lily had to go into work that morning, because there had been some crisis with the Charm she was working on (Katty hadn't even bothered asking what.....she had been in no mood for a long lecture on exactly what her friend was doing).

It was midafternoon, and the five of them were seated around the dining table, starting up a game of poker. Plates and bowls were on the table as well, laden with food.

Before long, the fireplace suddenly ignited. A second later, Lily stumbled through, coughing and spluttering from the ash. Her hat was askew, and she barely was grasping her briefcase.

Katty just looked at her soot-covered friend for a minute, and then started laughing. "You know, Lily," she said, "we really need to get our Apparating license!"

***