The Amazing Illegal Wonder Potion

Sirius Black is back from the dead and out to win the attentions of the man he loves – in any way possible! The result? A twisted tale of sex, goats and virgin’s blood. (And a healthy dose of drugs and rock’n’roll, too.) Featuring such fandom gems as Gay!Sirius, Clueless!Harry, Slut!Ginny and Don’t-Even-Ask!Snape.

Sirius reflects on his love life and his not-quite-fatherly feelings for Ja-… er, Harry.

Harry and Sirius return to Grimmauld Place, where Harry encounters bizarre wereworf behaviour, an unwelcome guest, and teen angst. Hermione reflects on the shagability of Draco Malfoy.

Sirius takes a trip to Knockturn Alley to search for a solution to his problem. He discovers the trouble with being a sexy gay man in a brothel, and the reason love potions are illegal. And one stubborn goat. For some reason, Dark Magic

Draco Malfoy discovers the dangers of saying “no” to Hermione Granger, and the very disturbing reason behind Snape’s favouritism. Little does Draco know, his troubles are just beginning.

In Chapter 6, Hermione discusses her latest fetish, to the dismay of the now-lesbian Ginny. In Chapter 7, Sirius prepares his potion, but is interrupted by a very nosy werewolf. Well really now, is it

Sirius tests his concoction on Draco Malfoy, but to his dismay, discovers that something he added to that potion must’ve been wrong. Draco finds himself doing strange things indeed after eating some potion-spiked breakfast cereal.

Sirius finds out

Ginny discovers that Sirius is up to something, and decides to investigate. Will she discover the illegal potion?

Chapter 11: After re-making the potion with a fresh batch of “virgin’s” blood, he decides to test it again – this time on Snape. Meanwhile, Hermione decides to take action – so she heads down to the dungeon to ask for some “private tuition”…

Ginny puts her plan into action, and Sirius finally discovers where some real virgin’s blood might be obtained. The scene is set for one last trial, and then the potion can be used for real… Too bad no-one told Lucy the goat it was going to be a guinea-pig.

The potion is ready. Harry has taken it. Sirius holds his breath, waiting for Harry to look up and fall in love with the first person he sees. Nothing can possibly go wrong now…

Remus returns from an exhausting Order mission, to find a house of closed doors and strange noises behind them. Unaware of what’s been happening at Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place, he enters his room, where Sirius is waiting… The conclusion to “The Amazing Illegal Wonder Potion”.