Haunted

Haunted

He stood by the lake unmoving, his heart pounding in his chest. He stood staring, feeling pain to the point it was almost numbing. Things had not gone the way they had all planned; they had not even come close. The possibility was always there, lurking, but none of them really thought it would ever happen. Everything seemed to be in a sort of haze now, and he found himself wishing that none of this was real, wishing he could go back hours before and be in the common room laughing. But that was done now, that time was gone, and the present wasn't where he wanted to be. He was barely aware of the breathing beside him.

"Harry..." she whispered, staring down. "How... How could this...happen?" The tears were brimming on her lower lids, but they had not fallen yet. She had some false hope stored that this was nothing but some kind of sick illusion, and that when she closed her eyes and opened them again everything would be as it was before. He just shook his head in response.

"This is my fault," he said quietly. "It should be me, not him."

"Don't," she said quietly. "Don't say that."

"It wasn't supposed to be this way," he whispered looking at her, finally. She could see the moonlight reflected in his eyes, reflecting off of the sheen of tears that now coated them well. She moved closer to him, slipping her hand into his and holding on. She took a shaky breath.

"This isn't real," she whispered. "This can't be real."

"It is," he replied quietly, his voice coming out with quiet shock and pain. She shook her head, tears threatening to spill at any moment.

"This can't be happening," she whispered more to herself than to him. "Harry, tell me this isn't happening..."

"I... I can't..." He looked at her, the pain on her face. All of this, all because of him. It would have been so simple if they had never met; none of them would have been in any danger. And he would be alone, utterly alone. He wasn't sure how he felt about it at that moment; whether he should wish they had never known one another or be happy for what they had had the time to share. He knew the latter was how he would feel later, but presently all he felt was hurt, confusion, and shock. He looked at her face again, and it killed him to see her this way.

"Tell me this is a nightmare, Harry," she said quietly. He almost didn't.

"This is a nightmare, Hermione," he replied quietly as well.

"Tell me that I'll wake up and things won't be this bad."

"You'll wake up and... it won't be this bad."

"Tell me everything will be ok in the morning," she whispered, tears rolling down her cheeks as she closed her eyes.

"Everything will... be ok in the morning," he whispered, his voice choked. They both knew it wouldn't be. Nothing was ok; nothing would ever be ok again. He could feel her trembling, and he turned to look at her.

"Tell me he isn't gone, Harry..." She cried quietly. "Please... just tell me he isn't gone..." He felt the tears burning his eyes more potently; seeing her crying this way, seeing her hurting like this, it was something he had never wanted to see, and something he wished he didn't have to.

"I can't..." he whispered, tightening his grip on her hand. "He's...gone, Hermione..." The full force of it hit him and he had to turn his head away, closing his eyes as the tears fell rapidly. He could hear the quiet sobs escaping her, and in one movement they turned. His arms were open and she just fell into them, crying. He held her tightly to his chest, his cheek rested on the top of her head. She sobbed, her shoulders shaking, and it didn't seem like it would stop. They paid no mind to the people around them, taking care of business, "cleaning up", trying to coax them into leaving the spot, to getting away from this awful sight. But they didn't move, and held tight to one another.

It seemed ages before they separated slowly. Her eyes were pink and puffy, watery still, as were his, their faces tear stained. They stood looking at one another for what seemed like a long time. She reached out slowly, taking his hands in hers. They needed each other now.

"Promise me something," she said in a weak voice.

"Don't ask me to promise you that I won't get myself killed. I won't make that promise, because I don't know if I can keep it," he replied. She shook her head slightly.

"Promise me that when you find him, I'm there with you. Promise me that you will make him pay for this...for what he's done to Ron. Harry, I want you to promise me that you'll find him, and you'll make him suffer until he begs for death. And promise me that you'll let me be there." Tears rolled down her cheeks. He stood for a few long moments, just looking at her, wondering if he should promise her this. The last thing he wanted to do was put another one of his best friend's lives in danger. He couldn't lose her too. "Promise me, Harry."

"I promise," he said, looking directly into her eyes. "I'll make him pay for this, for everything. I won't let him make Ron's death for nothing. He wasn't supposed to die..." He looked one more time, and once again turned his head away, unable to continue to see what was there.

"We'll put things right," she cried quietly. "Just don't leave me, Harry," she whispered. Her face crumpled slightly as more tears rolled down her cheeks. "Don't leave me alone."

"I will never, ever, leave you alone. Do you hear me?" She nodded, and allowed him to pull her close, hugging him tightly as he held her to his chest. "All we have now is each other."