The Weirdest Thing You'll Ever Read

Chapter 2

We left off with Pigwidgeon about to sing a song called "Why Pigwidgeon the owl can suddenly talk, sing, and wants to be called Pigwidgirl." Ron and Hermione switched bodies, and the Narrator (That's me!!!!) was vaporized, and somehow came back. And there's a Narrator Impersonator somewhere out there...

Hermione: What are you going to sing Pigwidgirl?

PigwidgEON: There just happened to be this really cool song that perfectly fit my needs, called "Why Pigwidgeon the owl can suddenly talk, sing, and wants to be called Pigwidgirl."

Hermione: That's strangely specific.

Author: If I vaporized the Narrator, then who gave the introduction?

I don't know.

Author: Who else is using bold font that shouldn't be? I'll get you Narrator Impersonator! Wait... Why don't I just zap you?

Because you can't find me.

PigwidgEON: I was about to sing!

All: Oh yeah.

PigwidgEON: I had an owner named Ron.

Hermione: That's me!

Harry: *Shrugs and smiles smugly* When you read that it looks very weird.

PigwidgEON: But I don't know what rhymes with Ron.

Ron: Um... Yawn?

PigwidgEON: I should use that later.

PigwidgEON: I had an owner named Ron.

Harry: *Shrugs and smiles smugly* Is he starting over?

PigwidgEON: Yes, and call me a she.

Harry: *Shrugs and smiles smugly* Okay A She.

PigwidgEON: But he always made me yawn.

Hermione: Hey!

Ron: I don't think owls have the right sort of jaw to yawn, either.

PigwidgEON: So I asked if anyone wanted me instead.

Hermione: You are so dead.

Fred: Hi guys I just finished putting a dung bomb in Hermione's bed.

Ron: Hey!

Fred: Ron, why are you heying, do you like her or something?

PigwidgEON: And when I asked, someone said

Ron: No, we switched bod- I mean, yes, I do... hehehe...

PigwidgEON: I'll take the owl but there's one problem

Fred: I'll be right back. George, do you have a megaphone that I could announce things to the whole school with?

PigwidgEON: And when she said that, I said um

Hermione: These lyrics are so corny. I think he's making them up on the spot.

Author: I'm the one writing them...

PigwidgEON: What could the problem possibly be?

Hermione: Uh oh... *Disappears in a violent explosion.*

PigwidgEON: Maybe this owner doesn't like me.

Ron: Hey! That was my body! Doesn't that mean that she really vaporized me? But it was his brain! Wow I never thought I'D get confused! That's creepy, the only person that can confuse me...is me! Hey Author, you do realize that you really just zapped me...I think...I don't know.

PigwidgEON: But then she says "It isn't that."

Author: I don't know either, let's find out! *Switches Ron and Hermione back.*

PigwidgEON: "You wouldn't be allowed in our habitat."

Ron: I'm back! In my own body! And Hermione's gone! What'd I miss?

PigwidgEON: So I say "What do you mean?"

Author: Okay, now we know, I'm switching them back. *Switches them back.*

PigwidgEON: And she says "It's easily seen."

Ron: Now I know thanks don't ever do it again please.

PigwidgEON: "You're a boy, you're not allowed in our dorm"

Author: *Does it again just to annoy Hermione.*

Author: I didn't do it just to annoy Hermione!

PigwidgEON: So I say "I'll find a way to get in cuz I'm sworn"

Author: Okay, maybe I did, but I'm putting them back again. *You know what it's gonna say here so why do I have to type it? You just HAVE to make me do all the work! She switched them again. Happy?*

Fred: I'm back, what'd I miss?

PigwidgEON: So she says "Who did you swear to?"

Harry: *Shrugs and smiles smugly* Only a really bad song. *Steam appears around him. When it clears, he's gone.*

PigwidgEON: And I say "No one, but there was nothing else that rhymed."

Author: I'm running out of characters to torment. Wait, there's you... *Points to Fred.*

PigwidgEON: So the next day I disguise as a girl.

Fred: *Laughs uneasily* Oi! Look at the time! I gotta go!

PigwidgEON: But my disguise was so ugly it made her hurl.

Author: This is boring, there's no one here to torment so I'm forced to listen to this song. Hey! If I have to listen to it then my characters should too! *Makes all characters reappear.*

PigwidgEON: So instead of disguising I changed my name.

All who just reappeared: Yay we're back!

PigwidgEON: And now from this song I've gotten lots of fame.

All who just reappeared: Boo! He's still singing this song!

PigwidgEON: That has nothing to do with this song that's lame.

Harry: *Shrugs and smiles smugly* Hey, how come you're not vaporizing him for calling the song lame?

PigwidgEON: I just needed something that rhymes with name.

Author: Because I wrote that in the lyrics.

PigwidgEON: So I changed my name to Pigwidgirl.

Author: And besides this song is really lame.

PigwidgEON: And that name makes people hurl.

Author: Hey, the contract did not say I had to be good at rhyming stuff.

PigwidgEON: But not as much as my costume.

Author: See what I'm saying?

PigwidgEON: The End.

Hermione (Still Ron's brain): How come you sung the words The End? They're not in the song.

Fred: You've heard this song?

Hermione: Heard it? I love it! It's by my favorite singer, Jack Brownson!