Two to Lead

Why is Harry playing juvenile delinquent? Why is Voldemort sending Death Eaters halfway around the world to kidnap an uneducated teenager? Why would someone dump a successful career in favor of teaching a bunch of schoolkids? Why doesn’t Lupin have a sex life? Why does Ginny Weasley keep falling for the wrong guys? Why is the Magical Mafia suddenly so interested in helping out The Boy Who Lived? Why is Draco Malfoy really such a bastard? And what, exactly, are the mechanics of using a sex swing? The answers will be revealed…Rated R for entirely gratuitous sex, violence, language and lengthy descriptions of Lucius Malfoy's hair.

Why is Harry playing juvenile delinquent? Why is Voldemort sending Death Eaters halfway around the world to kidnap an uneducated teenager? Why would someone dump a successful career in favor of teaching a bunch of schoolkids? Why doesn’t Lupin have a sex life? Why does Ginny Weasley keep falling for the wrong guys? Why is the Magical Mafia suddenly so interested in helping out The Boy Who Lived? Why is Draco Malfoy really such a bastard? And what, exactly, are the mechanics of using a sex swing? The answers will be revealed…Rated R for entirely gratuitous sex, violence, language and lengthy descriptions of Lucius Malfoy's hair.

Why is Harry playing juvenile delinquent? Why is Voldemort sending Death Eaters halfway around the world to kidnap an uneducated teenager? Why would someone dump a successful career in favor of teaching a bunch of schoolkids? Why doesn’t Lupin have a sex life? Why does Ginny Weasley keep falling for the wrong guys? Why is the Magical Mafia suddenly so interested in helping out The Boy Who Lived? Why is Draco Malfoy really such a bastard? And what, exactly, are the mechanics of using a sex swing? The answers will be revealed…Rated R for entirely gratuitous sex, violence, language and lengthy descriptions of Lucius Malfoy's hair. THIS CHAPTER: Sexual tension, dining with Malfoys, Ron Weasley's Death Wish and Three-Player Strip Bridge.

Why is Harry playing juvenile delinquent? Why is Voldemort sending Death Eaters halfway around the world to kidnap an uneducated teenager? Why would someone dump a successful career in favor of teaching a bunch of schoolkids? Why doesn’t Lupin have a sex life? Why does Ginny Weasley keep falling for the wrong guys? Why is the Magical Mafia suddenly so interested in helping out The Boy Who Lived? Why is Draco Malfoy really such a bastard? And what, exactly, are the mechanics of using a sex swing? The answers will be revealed…Rated R for entirely gratuitous sex, violence, language and lengthy descriptions of Lucius Malfoy's hair. THIS CHAPTER: Harry buys condoms, Draco and Thera get it on and Ginny gets revenge. Also: Lucius in a unitard!

Why is Harry playing juvenile delinquent? Why is Voldemort sending Death Eaters halfway around the world to kidnap an uneducated teenager? Why would someone dump a successful career in favor of teaching a bunch of schoolkids? Why doesn’t Lupin have a sex life? Why does Ginny Weasley keep falling for the wrong guys? Why is the Magical Mafia suddenly so interested in helping out The Boy Who Lived? Why is Draco Malfoy really such a bastard? And what, exactly, are the mechanics of using a sex swing? The answers will be revealed…Rated R for entirely gratuitous sex, violence, language and lengthy descriptions of Lucius Malfoy's hair. THIS CHAPTER: Some realizations, some disappointments and Thera finally finds out why she was brought back.

THIS CHAPTER: Draco sees an entirely different side of Thera, and they decide it's about time they kept their hands off of each other long enough to formulate a plan; everyone's favorite greasy-haired git is on the case; Fox and team argue their way through the Battle of Hogwarts; and Harry finally sees what you get when you ask Fred and George for sex advice. Watch out for Rule #14.

THIS CHAPTER: Gautham strikes out, Ginny ponders, Vivian confesses, Fox has a Dragnet moment, Thera and Draco begin to realize the full extent of the bond and Harry gets laid.

Ginny and Ron finally get a break from Grimmauld Place; Hermione makes an appearance; Harry realizes Lucy is actually kind of annoying, and Thera, Draco and Lucius have a mad threesome. Well, they talk, at least. Plus: Fred and George return! The eating habits of Nagini! Why Gandhi wouldn't stand a chance against Mrs. Weasley! and Adorable kitten moments!

THIS CHAPTER: What was once the second half of chapter eight, so it's a little shorter. A deal is made that could change the course of the war; evil kittens; the most effective methods of psychological torture and the patented Hogwarts Initiation Ritual. Even a thousand years later, the Founders are still bickering...

THIS CHAPTER: Harry and Draco have an argument on the train, Thera has an argument with the Sorting Hat, Fox realizes her purpose in the grand scheme of things and Vivian and Snape realize something decidedly odd about the bond and the four children...

THIS CHAPTER: The first week of classes! Draco and Ginny steam up the trophy room cases, Draco and Thera make a deal, Quidditch tryouts, Hermione's unsolicited opinions on the Daily Prophet and the current state of the Ministry of Magic, and an exploration into the untapped depths of Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle. Plus: Fox kicks Harry's a** in order to teach him a very important life lesson. We don't know what that lesson was, but we're sure it was very, very important.

THIS CHAPTER: The vampires are organizing, Amina and Fox are violating innocent stuffed animals, Harry's disappoints Hermione, Ginny notices that Draco's an immature prat, Thera has a near-sex experience, Remus decides that yes, his a** actually is spectacular, Vivian makes a horrible realization, and Merlin's beard, is that...fluff? WHO LET FLUFF IN HERE?! Die, fluff! Honey, call the fluffterminator...

THIS CHAPTER: Connections are made for better or worse. As always, Harry finds out about things he shouldn't; Fox teaches Mrs. Norris a lesson; the lunchtime confessions of Mrs. Cornelius Fudge and her Playwizard bunnies; more than you ever wanted to know about the number five; why Thera should avoid shellfish and...Ginny Weasley-Boot? Oh, dear.

THIS CHAPTER: July 25 - a date which live on in infamy. Gryffindor versus Slytherin - suddenly like listening to Dick Vitale cover a Duke game (read - you'll understand). Terry Boot grows a pair...sort of...which is to say he knows when to walk away, and knows when to run. Ten reasons why Muggles would win a war against wizards. Plus: leprechauns!

THIS CHAPTER: Draco gains the sort of perspective on things that only Draco is truly capable of; Harry and Thera have a truly strange encounter; Vivian is suddenly drowning in exes; and Ginny tries out Seamus. Plus: Breasty Dumbledore?

THIS CHAPTER: Harry and Hermione have a plan...that doesn't really work out too well. Thera also has a plan...that doesn't work out too well, either. Both plans collide with a great deal of groping. Vivian has her non-date with Balder and there's no groping at all. The first Dueling Match of the year may mean the end of Ginny and Seamus' relationship, but then there's Draco...and groping, actually. Must be something in the water. PLUS: If you've read this far into the summary, you deserve to know that Harry finds out a little something about his mysterious power from Fox. No groping. Sorry.

THIS CHAPTER: Harry tells Hermione and Ron about the prophecy (finally), and has an enlightening conversation with Hermione about the nature of his power. The spell gets translated, but what does it actually mean? Vivian thinks the answers may lie in Remus' trousers. Thera has a run-in with the last person she wants to see. Fox shows Snape the finer points of her sword-fighting ability (minds out of the gutter, folks), Draco broods attractively and Ginny realizes that he might, sort of, almost have a chance of someday perhaps entertaining the tiniest possibility of being a decent human being. But he probably won't.

Harry shops around for sex; Thera wheels and deals as only Slytherins can; Ginny makes a mistake; Draco makes a frightening realization; the dark creatures come out and play, leading Vivian into danger and Fox into an odd conversation with Snape. In the meantime, Bill and Tonks have an announcement and Remus destroys an innocent table.

THIS CHAPTER: Thera tries to show Harry the value of a riding crop...and fails; Vivian tries to make up with Remus...and fails; Fox tries to avoid sounding like Yoda...and also fails. PLUS: Ginny has a teenager moment, Draco amuses himself and Harry learns somebody's been lying to him...

THIS CHAPTER: Harry confronts Thera about several things; Thera takes a big risk; Draco does a few things he knows he'll regret in the morning; Snape bites off more than he can chew; and Vivian suddenly finds herself in need of a good lawyer.

THIS CHAPTER: Ginny becomes A WOMAN, Draco waffles at the edges of his romantic hero persona, Vivian finds help in the oddest place, Fox wonders why she always gets stuck with the crappy jobs, and Harry gets drunk and Thera - as always - takes advantage of the situation...

THIS CHAPTER: Ginny gives Draco a wet willy, Draco scrambles to find a date to the dance, Thera gets a very nice bribe, Harry gets an honest opinion about his dancing ability, Fox finds out about Gautham's underaged little secret and Vivian and Remus decide to get while the getting's good.

THIS CHAPTER: Fox gives Snape something to think about; a Weasley twin sandwich accompanies Bill and Tonks’ big announcement; Remus broods; Harry tries to locate his inner Schwartzenegger; Thera takes one for the team; Draco tries to explain his parents’ relationship to Ginny, who tries to explain her relationship with Draco to Harry; Remus broods some more; and Lucius tries to organize Draco’s ‘Welcome to the Dark Side’ banquet.

THIS CHAPTER: Vivian makes a major discovery; Fox wonders about the company she keeps; Ginny and Draco are exposed; Harry and Thera are exposed; Vendetta works his magic; Harry’s invisibility cloak gets put to good use; and as Ron, Harry and Hermione enter Thera’s underground lair…the chapter ends, actually. Confrontation forthwith, I promise.

Once More, Without Italics. THIS CHAPTER: It must be Adult Swim, because here comes the first all kids chapter. The Summit means that Harry finally pays for his deceit, Thera discovers the limits of her sanity, Ginny remembers why it's best to stay out of silly male confrontations, and Draco can't restrain himself from giving the Gryffindors grooming advice. All is learned, all is revealed, and Ron gets tied to a chair.

THIS CHAPTER: For Easter holidays, Ginny and Ron go home to break the news to their parents; Draco goes home to bond with the Dark Lord; Thera gets a very nasty surprise; Harry and Hermione have a chat; Vivian gets an even nastier surprise and a dark creature attack turns out to be both more and less than it seems…

THIS CHAPTER: Ginny and Draco run afoul of the sex swing...and each other; Thera rethinks her relationship with Harry with the aid of some scotch; Harry murders innocent flora; Fox realizes that neither Snape, Dumbledore, nor the attack on Azkaban are what they seem; Vivian proves once more that geniuses can be the dumbest people on earth; and just who the hell is Little Miss Japanese Jailbait?

THIS CHAPTER: Remus suspects some things...or doesn't; Thera gets interrupted in the middle of a perfectly fine bender; Ginny gets freaky; Fox presents her case to the only person who matters; Draco frets and poses elegantly; Harry realizes that nobody saw what what coming for the sixth year in a row; and the proverbial dog droppings meet the proverbial fan.

THIS CHAPTER: Harry gets his yearly ass-kicking, Ginny meets the two faces of Voldemort, Draco says something he can't take back, Vivian cuddles up to some rubbish bins, Thera does what she does best...er, the other thing she does best, Remus gets framed, Fox goes on the warpath, Snape gets offered something he might not be able to refuse, Dumbledore goes Machiavellian, Balder gets shafted, and everyone gets saved...more or less.

THIS CHAPTER: Severus revises his opinion on violence, Ginny pays a visit to the hospital wing, Harry gains some new insight on Slytherins, Draco finds his calling, Remus orchestrates an escape from St. Mungo's, Vivian wallows in mortification for being such an idiot, and Thera has breakfast with the LeStranges.

[COMPLETE] Good endings, bad endings, incomplete endings, and a few unanswered questions...