Before They Were Angels

Harvest Moon

The moon shines even in the house of the outcast. -Indian Proverb

Harry, his wife, and the remaining members of the Order sat in his living room. Tonks, sporting long blue hair today, was sharing stories of the Marauders with Harry.

"Yeah, Sirius was always my favorite cousin," she was saying. "He didn't know at the time his father would come back... people had been sending prank letters to his house for years, saying he was alive, so of course Sirius didn't take it seriously... no pun intended."

"What about his mom?" asked Elphias Doge. "What did she think of it all?"

"Oh, her," said Tonks absently. "Well, she always was a mad old bat, that's for sure. She regained some of her sanity when her husband returned, but honestly, I think she was better off without him. At least then she was beginning to understand Muggles a little more, watching their movies and things. But when he returned, everything went downhill."

James sat on Harry's lap, listening intently to the grownup talk. He tugged on his father's sleeve. "What about the others, dad?"

Tonks laughed. "He loves these stories, doesn't he?"

"Yes he does," answered Harry, looking down at his son fondly. Elphias stretched his legs out over the low coffee table.

"You don't hear much about the others anymore, do you? Ever since Sirius's name was cleared years ago, people talk about him more than anything. I always was more interested in James and Lily. People say that sometimes it seemed like they couldn't stand each other, but they loved each other in the end." Mused Elphias.

"I for one always wondered about the Lupin boy," growled Mad-Eye, who was swishing his magical eyeball around in a glass of water. "They tell me he was an odd fellow at first... although I can't say I've ever met a Dark Creature who was completely right in the head."

Harry's wife covered up a snort by pretending to cough, while Harry hid his smile behind his cup of tea. They knew that for all Mad-Eye's talk, he had been very fond of Remus Lupin.

"I always felt kinda sorry for Peter, too," said Tonks. I mean, with Tom Riddle being the Defense teacher and all..." Her voice trailed off. There was an awkward silence.

"Dad," cried James, tugging his shirtsleeve again. "Will you tell me the story?"

"Yes, yes," cried Tonks, clapping her hands. "Tell us a story." Harry smiled.

"Well," he began, "This may not be the best part for you all to hear right now, but it's where I left off before when telling James the story. But, here goes. It's the night of the full moon..."

~*~*~

Remus was walking along a red dirt trail. He didn't know where he was, he didn't know who he was. He just walked.

Every color he saw seemed to have a strange tint to it, a sort of yellowish color that you might see in old movies. There were cow pastures on either side of him where thin herds of cattle watched him go along, only they didn't have eyes, just blank, staring holes. Up ahead was a gnarled tree that seemed to stretch its limbs out toward him.

Remus grew more nervous by the minute. Where was everyone? Where was anyone? He looked down, and gasped. The trail he was walking on wasn't red dirt, it was blood stained! Panic filled him and he ran. He passed a huge old mansion on a hill where an old man was tending the garden. He looked up at Remus as he ran past, leaning on his shovel. He too did not have eyes. In fact, he did not even have a face.

Another strange thing was that everything was silent. No birds sang, no crickets chirped, no wind whistled through tree branches. Just silence. Dead silence, thought Remus, then he shivered, although it was not cold.

The trail of blood ended abruptly, but this failed to cheer Remus. The silence was broken by a baby's wail. It grew louder and louder until it surrounded him, and the feeling of panic he'd had turned into dread. He'd been here before, he knew it. But if only he could remember when, or how, or why?

Remus then came upon another huge pasture that loomed before him. Something in a far corner of the pasture moved, but he couldn't see what it was because of a great shadow. For some reason, he knew he should turn back, but he couldn't, his feet were not his own.

He stopped at the edge of the pasture and looked in, and slowly the thing in the shadows came into view. Remus tried to cry out, but no sound came. A snake. Bigger than life, it slithered into the middle of the pasture, and reared halfway up and looked around, as if expecting someone. Mercifully, its smoldering eyes passed over Remus.

Then, he saw something that made his stomach churn: two more faceless people had leaped in front of the snake and seemed to be defying it. Fools! Thought Remus, you cannot possibly believe you will win! Run away while you still can! But they did not run. And as Remus's eyes became more adjusted to the light, he began to see others as well. Someone was trapped underneath the snake, writhing and squirming. Remus could sense hatred coming from that one in waves. Wrapped in the snake's tale was another, who did not fight, but hung limply.

Sure enough, the snake swallowed the two people in front of him, but as soon as it had eaten them, it recoiled, as if burned. Somehow, they had hurt it. The snake then turned and swallowed the person underneath it, then the one in its tail. Then again, it lifted its nose to the air and sniffed, as if searching for something else. It's eyes traveled yet again to where Remus was standing. Please, please don't let it see me!

It did. The snake loomed nearer and nearer, all the while opening its mouth wider...

~*~*~

"ARRGGGHHHHH!!!!"

"Wha-"

"Who screamed?"

"WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND HERE?"

"Sirius, BE QUIET!"

"YOU BE QUIET!"

The argument between all the roommates carried on for quite a while until someone (possibly Peter) had the sense to light a candle, where they each saw where Remus had twisted himself in the sheets on his bed. For as split second, fear hung on his face, but the that was quickly turned into anger. He turned around and brought his fists down onto his bed, hitting his pillow, then got up and stalked out of the room, even though it was only about midnight.

The roommates watched him go with open mouths, then collapsed back into their beds, too tired to make derogatory comments about the insanity of certain persons.

~*~*~

James sat in the Common Room, irritably doing the homework Professor Flitwick had assigned them. Edgar Bones sat across from him, doing the same work. It was very early in the morning, and they were trying to finish it before classes started.

"Don't worry about it, mate," he was saying, "Whatever's bothering them, they'll get over it."

"I hope you're right, Ed. I don't know how much more of this gloominess I can take." Things were not going well for James. He had had such high hopes for his friends, but today they'd done nothing friendly-like towards him. He understood about Sirius, people were obviously still playing pranks on his family, but what about Peter? Ever since he had gone to detention with Riddle, he'd jump every time someone said his name. He practically hid when Riddle came walking down the hall. One time James had found him hiding behind a potted plant.

And it was only the third day of his detentions. Whenever James asked him about it, Peter made an "eep" sound and claimed that he had to go to the restroom. Sirius had not been much better. Ever since the letter, he'd been snapping at everyone for any little thing.

James was so lonely that several times he tried to make up with Lily, but couldn't because that stupid Loony Lupin was always there, acting like her personal guard dog. James swore that he could hear him growling very softly under his breath when he came up to them.

Lily was not having a very good first-of-the-year either. She liked Remus very much, but she wanted to talk to some other friends as well. He wouldn't let anyone near her, however. He never said anything to them, but scowled at them until they went away. And Jessica didn't make it any better, either. She kept taunting her, informing her that her boyfriend was a real jerk. And Remus's constant negative outlook was starting to rub off on her. She wished she could just see him smile once.

Now it was time to go to Charms. James, Sirius, and Peter sat together in the front row, but didn't say anything to each other. Lily and Remus headed towards the back row, where Remus yet again promptly fell asleep.

Professor Flitwick was in a good mood today. After the lesson was over, he let them have some free time. Remus had woken up and was staring blankly out of the window, head propped up on one hand. He didn't look like he was feeling well at all, and when Lily asked him if he wanted to go to the nurse, he just continued staring out the window.

"It's going to rain today." Lily looked out the window. The sun was shining and the birds were chirping. There wasn't a cloud in the sky.

"Um, Remus?"

"Mm."

"Are you sure you don't want to go to the nurse?"

"Yeah."

"Well, okay," she said, glancing worriedly at him.

~*~*~

Remus lay on a bed in the hospital wing while Madam Pomfrey checked his heart rate and blood pressure. He could tell she was afraid of him, she kept flinching every time he moved. It was after every one of his classes were done, the moon would be rising soon.

Madam Pomfrey looked at the small boy whom they said was a werewolf. She hadn't expected this. The shadows under his eyes made them look sunken and dull, his skin was a greenish pasty color. She did not know what to expect with a werewolf, she had never dealt with one before. She did not have the prejudices against them that most people had, but she had to admit, she was a little apprehensive.

"Alright, Remus," she said in a falsely bright voice, "you look okay for right now. Is there anything you need to tell me before we go out there?"

Remus grimaced as he looked up towards her. "Harvest moon," he grunted.

"What about it?"

"Bad luck moon. The wolf won't be happy tonight." He spoke in a far off, distant voice that made her skin crawl. "I just hope my claws don't come first."

"What will happen then?"

"It's very painful to transform... you can't control your movements... if my claws come first, well, just think about it."

Realization hit her. "Oh... I see. Do you ever break anything?"

"Very often." Remus was vaguely aware he wasn't himself tonight, but that happened every full moon.

After checking him some more, they made their way across the school grounds, running because of the pouring rain that had been pounding for the last few hours. Remus was mumbling nonsense under his breath, she caught some of his words. "Harvest moon... also called Wine moon... Singing moon... Indians call it Moon When Deer Paw the Earth..."

"That's nice, dear. Hurry up, we're getting soaked."

The Whomping Willow stood tall and formidable at one corner of the grounds. Madam Pomfrey had taken a long stick with her from the castle, which she prodded the knot on the base of the tree with some difficulty (the limbs with their fists kept trying to knock it from her hand.) The tree froze, and stood silently.

She helped Remus into the tunnel, and together made their way down the tunnel and up into the Shrieking Shack, which took about thirty minutes in itself. Remus, dully aware that the moon would be in the clouds and it would be all the more painful and long lasting, was silent. Finally they stood in the room, which housed several mismatched pieces of furniture. She was trying to hide her nervousness by talking loudly and quickly. Remus sat on the bed, head in hands.

"Of course, Albus knew that kids sometimes come in here for dares, which is why he didn't put a silencing charm on the place. If they hear your- its- screams, then they'll think it's ghosts. Albus has been encouraging the rumor." She stammered threw this quickly, aware that Remus had already been told all of this and probably wasn't listening.

Remus spoke. "You'd better go."

"Right," she said, "If you need anything else-

"Go now." She nodded her head and retreated out of the door. Half way through the tunnel, she heard a piercing scream. She bit down on one of her knuckles to keep herself from crying out as well. She listened as the screams became less and less human and turned into something more animal-like, but not anything she had ever heard before. The hunting cry. She'd studied werewolves when she found she would be taking care of one, and there were several different types of howls.

The hunting cry was horrific, it echoed around her and froze her in her tracks. This was exactly what it was supposed to do to "prey." It was a good thing there was that door...

WHOOM! She heard the bang of something heavy slamming against the door again and again, in an almost frenzied excitement. WHOOM! WHOOM! WHOOM! She had to get out of there, before the thing broke down that door, but she felt rooted to the spot. There was no way it could break it down... That door is solid oak...

WHOOM! WHOOM! WHOOM! WHOOM! The shrieks were piercing, it was becoming angry. Suddenly, with one last WHOOM the creature stopped howling. She heard a body hit the floor. It was knocked out. She sobbed and ran the rest of the way through the tunnel.

~*~*~

When Remus first began his transformation, his fear had come true: his claws came first, and the pain seared in his body as the claws ripped at his own flesh. When his snout began growing out, one of the most painful parts, the claws had ripped and shredded his face to bits, trying to make the pain stop.

He hit the floor, screaming, as his parts reassembled into new ones. The pain was so unbearable... please make it stop... I don't understand... he thought as he was plunged into a dream, something that always happened. First he was lying on the ground, leaves in his hair, something horrible standing above him, it was going to eat him. Then the dream shifted.

Remus was walking along a red dirt trail. He didn't know where he was, he didn't know who he was. He just walked.

Every color he saw seemed to have a strange tint to it, a sort of yellowish color that you might see in old movies. There were cow pastures on either side of him where thin herds of cattle watched him go along, only they didn't have eyes. Up ahead was a gnarled tree with strange carvings on it.

He looked down, and gasped. The trail he was walking on wasn't red dirt, it was blood stained! Panic filled him and he ran. He passed a huge old mansion on a hill where an old man was tending the garden. He looked up at Remus as he ran past, leaning on his shovel. He too did not have eyes. In fact, he did not even have a face... this dream was the last remotely human thing he thought as finally the werewolf took over his thoughts.

Let me out! Let me out, I'll kill you, I'll make your blood run like a river! The wolf pounded on the door, it could smell human. One had been there. You will discover the meaning of pain...

WHOOM! The werewolf was throwing it's body against the door frame, crouching down on its four legs and springing towards it. WHOOM! WHOOM! WHOOM!

I will show you the face of death...

WHOOM! The werewolf gave one last heave at the door, then slid down it, out cold. It left a trail of blood on the door.

~*~*~

When Madam Pomfrey came for him the next morning, she was appalled. Since Remus had knocked himself out so early, he hadn't managed to tear all his clothes completely off, which she was thankful for. He had managed to break an arm throwing himself at the door, but that wasn't the worst part. It was his face. It looked like he had torn half of it off, and bits of skin were still dangling from him. A gash on his head showed where he had been knocked out.

She magicked him a stretcher and floated it along ahead of her, which was made complicated because of the low ceiling of the tunnel. She quietly took him to a spare bed, where she did her best to make him comfortable, knowing all the while he would be gone from his classes for more than the usual two days that werewolves spent recuperating. It may even be a week.

As she turned to go, she heard him mumble something in his sleep.

"Lily..."