Book of Goodbyes

1^st September, 1972

My third try at this journal. With not a little prodding from my father, I'm again asked to try and write. This time I've been told to make an entry at least once a week.

It was good to have a break from classes. I slid down to the second spot for top in my year. Some Gryffindor girl I think is first. I'll need to hit the books hard to get ahead and stay there. I've studied over the summer to perhaps jump ahead.

I learned some new potions. Father, despite his being angry over the two letters home, gave me some supplies. Some were even for a poison. I tested it on the garden gnomes until Sylvia saw what I was doing and ran inside and cried. I don't see what she likes in those gross little pests but I stopped.

Second year students don't have to take the boats to the castle when returning to school. We just rode in some carriages up the front drive. They weren't pulled by any horses, though. I wish I could bring Charlie with me to school. I got to ride a lot over the summer. By far the best thing to happen though, was when Sylvia, Evan, and I dumped Narcissa in the pond and told her to watch out for the grindylows. There were none of course in that pond but she's thick and wigged out.

Unfortunately, Narcissa is here at Hogwarts this year. I was hoping she would have been put into Hufflepuff but she's in Slytherin. Sylvia should at least be happy since she doesn't have to attend any tea parties for a year. Sylvia's all excited about coming to Hogwarts next year and won't shut up about it.

The sorting ceremony and dinner were all the same as last year. I'm going to try out for the Quidditch team. I'd like to be a Keeper or Beater but not many second years ever make it.

9^th September

Evan got on the House team as a beater. I didn't make it. The captain told me to try again next year for the position of Keeper. One thing that's better this year from last is that Professor Bulstrode is letting me study some of the third years' potions. Maybe now I won't be so bored. The first one I get to make is a shrinking solution. I still have to take the second year exams, though. So, I've been taking notes so I at least know what my class is covering.

14^th September

I have to make an entry and really don't know what to write. Got good marks in my Defense Against the Dark Arts class on the first exam. It was on pixies. Stupid really. Evan managed to get a book of curses and hexes out of the restricted section. We're having fun with that. We're not telling Lucretia. She'd take it and not give it back.

20/9

I put some of the shrinking solution on Lucretia's ears. She put the jelly legs on me. Professor Bulstrode got mad but Lucretia has to do detention with Filch while I get to go do detention with the gamekeeper. I think it was worth it to see the potion work. I'd like to give her some gnome poison while I'm at it.

31^st October

Blah blah blah

. Father wrote a letter asking how the journal's coming. I haven't written in a long time. I think I'm just going to say I forgot and that it's stupid and I'm not going to do it anymore. Evan doesn't have to write in one. Not that he can create sentences successfully on paper. But I'm not writing in this anymore. So if anyone ever finds this and actually reads it: you're probably a very boring person to have time to sit around and do something so pointless.

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[Evidence of torn out pages]

17^th July, 1973

I really don't know what to write just now. A lot of things have happened. I can't talk to Evan about them. I'm afraid of father and Sylvia's in her room and mother won't stop crying. I finally got to visit her after all that happened two nights ago.

I suppose I'll write it down since I want to tell someone but can't. Also, when I saw Sylvia today, she asked if I ever write in the journal she gave me. I'll write now: for her, not for father. He'll never see this.

I suppose I'll start with that night. Sylvia and I had been playing around with some engorgement potion that leaked onto several things in the house. Mum and dad were angry and we were grounded from riding for a week. We decided to sneak out like we have before and ride at night. The sky was clear and the moon full so we had enough light to watch out for holes in the ground so our ponies wouldn't trip. We left after mum and dad went to bed around 11:30 or so.

Our ride was like it always used to be when we'd sneak out at night. We'd chase each other until Sylvia rode down to the moor where she was hard to see in her dark cloak and with Onyx's black coat. She decided to go hide from me. I heard her splash across the creek and decided that I'd just wait until she got bored and come back out and we could race across the field.

I waited and waited and waited. She didn't come out and I got off Charlie and let him eat a bit and lay in the grass next to him, looking at the stars. That's when I heard the werewolf.

At first, it was just a distant howl but there haven't been wolves around for years, or at least I didn't think so. The howling turned to growling and I got up on Charlie and started screaming for Sylvia to get out of the woods. Now when I think about it, it was rather dangerous for me to be heading into the woods, yelling like I was and Charlie didn't seem to want to go but I made him.

I heard Sylvia call out my name once. She sounded scared. Then she screamed but it was drowned out by Onyx screaming as well. I'd never heard a horse scream before. It's a terrible sound.

I thought that it would scare Charlie but instead, he suddenly pushed forward. I didn't have to ask him to hurry. The werewolf was grey and big. I think Onyx was dead already and Sylvia had her child's wand but it didn't allow her to use enough energy to cause much damage. I threw every curse I knew at it. Some worked, some didn't. I'm not even really sure what I used that made it finally give up and turn around. All I know that as soon as it did, I didn't care about it coming back. I just saw Sylvia lying partly under her pony, not moving.

Her robes were torn and her leg still stuck in the stirrup was badly bitten. She was crying. Somehow I managed to get her up onto Charlie's back and I rode back with her to the house and started yelling for my parents. One of the house elves must have heard me because my mum was downstairs and out onto the porch followed quickly by my father who was holding his wand and looking furious. His face changed when he saw us both covered in blood.

When we arrived at St. Mungos, the doctors kept asking where I was bitten and I found that I couldn't speak. It was like I had forgotten how to. Eventually they figured out I was okay and I was given some clean robes and had to go sit in a room with my mum and dad. Mum just kept crying hysterically and I finally went and sat next to her since father just stood at the door like a big cold rock statue.

After a while, one of the doctors came in and told my parents that they could go see Sylvia. I was left alone. I remember I had left Charlie still tacked up and on the back lawn. For some reason, I kept myself concerned with that.

Mum stayed with Sylvia for a long time but dad came back then moved into a nearby room with a doctor but I could still hear what they were saying. The doctor said Sylvia had been bitten by a werewolf and there was nothing they could do. She was now one of them.

He said there were three options. He said that some families keep a werewolf at home and lock them up at the full moon but that it was risky. I heard father say he didn't want to put us through that risk. The next choice was something called a reservation. There're evidently places where werewolves can go and sort of form packs. But the doctor said that girls were rarely bitten and it would be very difficult for Sylvia to survive under those conditions. The last choice he gave he started speaking so quietly it was hard to hear but I caught the gist of it. He suggested "putting her out of her misery." It was like he was talking about a pet dog. I only heard father hmph at that and then they came back in.

I fell asleep in the room and didn't see Sylvia until the next morning. She came out being carried by my father, her leg all wrapped up. Mother wasn't crying anymore but she still looked sad. We all went home and father took Sylvia right up to her room and I still wasn't allowed to see her. Not until this morning was I finally able to visit her.

She seemed all right and showed me her letter of acceptance to Hogwarts and acted like nothing was wrong. Then mom left the room and she looked at me and suddenly looked very sad. She told me: "I'm a werewolf, aren't I now? Things seem different. They smell different. And that was a werewolf that bit me."

I kept thinking of what I heard the doctor and father talk about. I lied and told her, "I don't know for sure. You might get better."

Sylvia knows when I lie and I think she knew it then but she started asking me about school and then asked about this little journal. I'll write in it now. I doubt she'll be allowed to go to Hogwarts. Werewolves aren't supposed to even carry wands--I read that already. But I'm worried too. And I can't tell her what I heard the doctor say. It probably wouldn't be a good idea to do that. Besides, father wouldn't kill Sylvia. He'll think of something to get us out of this mess. If he doesn't, maybe I can take Sylvia and we can run away.