A Daughter of Snape, a Son of Malfoy

Chapter 4

1 February 1997

A mid-winter storm had dumped buckets of snow on Hogwarts, and with that Saturday's Quidditch match cancelled because of the weather, the students rushed to don warmest robes and ran outside to join the snow. Harry, Ron and Hermione circled the perimeter of the lawn, hoping to stay out of the way of several Slytherins who had, quite predictably, set to building walls out of snow and climbed trees to better pelt the unsuspecting students below with icy snowballs. But one Slytherin they expected to find in the middle of the fray was notably absent.

"Where's Malfoy?" Ron asked suspiciously, scanning the lawn. "I'd expect he'd've been the one starting it all!"

"I've got a better question," Harry muttered under his breath. "Where's Nerissa?"

Outside, it was winter, but in the Astronomy Tower, Draco and Nerissa felt no hint of that season's chill. They were fevers burning away the howling cold, nestled amidst their rumpled robes. Draco seemed to feel the need to cover every inch of her, to protect her from the cold. It had been too long since their last meeting here, and Draco could think of nothing else as his lips staked their claim on her neck, shoulders, chest.

Nerissa could feel him easing himself between her legs, more than hinting at where he wanted things to go. But when she felt his hand running up the length of her inner thigh, she pulled away.

"What?" Draco asked, dejectedly. "What is it?"

"Nothing," she replied. "Nothing."

But Draco knew it was far from nothing.

"Oh, what is it now?" he asked derisively. "You're not one of those girls who's 'waiting till she's married,' are you?"

"No." she said, her voice growing quiet "Not at all. I just always thought it would be with someone...I love. And someone who loves me."

He pulled away from her abruptly and shook his head. She could see the tops of his ears turn pink.

"Oh. I see. That's what it is," he said softly.

"Draco, I think we know what this has all been about," Nerissa tried to explain.

"What do you mean?" Draco protested. "Do you think it's only...that I don't...Listen, Nerissa, if I just wanted someone to mess about with, I could bring Pansy Parkinson up here every night of the week. That girl's more stacked than the Montrose Magpies. Especially in comparison to you."

Nerissa crossed her arms in front of her chest, which only served to draw more attention to her virtually non-existent breasts.

"And half the other girls in Slytherin would do the same, just because of who I am, and because of who my family is," he added.

But seeing that this failed to achieve the desired effect, Draco tried a different tactic.

"If that's what I wanted, I could have it," he conceded. "But did it ever cross your mind that I wanted something more than a good lay?"

"No, Draco, it's just that...I didn't think...I didn't think that you..." she could already see the hurt in his eyes and didn't want to finish that sentence.

"You didn't think I was capable of loving someone, is that it?" he demanded, his voice more hurt than angry. "Didn't think that nasty, mean, heartless Draco Malfoy could ever love anyone except himself?

She fought everything within her that wanted to scream, "yes" and said nothing, but her face told it all.

"I see," Draco said softly. "I see. Nerissa, I don't know how to make it any plainer. I love you. You may not think it's possible, but I assure you, it is. I love you."

She felt her the bottom of her stomach drop to the floor, and her face grew hot. She didn't mind hearing those words, just not from Draco.

"Draco," she began weakly. "How can you be sure it's love? Don't you think it's possible you're confusing it with something else?"

"There is no confusion on my part," he said firmly. "I think maybe it's you that's confused."

"No," she shook her head. "I'm not."

"So who is it, then, Nerissa? Some Muggle?" he demanded, fighting back the tears that wanted nothing more than to spring from his eyes.

"No."

"Then who? It's not...Potter is it?"

Nerissa looked away. It wasn't that she loved Harry, or even liked him more than any of the other boys she met, she didn't know that for sure. But she was pretty certain that she didn't feel about Draco the way he felt about her. And it wasn't fair to him to pretend.

"It is, isn't it?" Draco shook his head, and his voice became suddenly cruel.

"How...predictable. Really, Nerissa, I had thought you were different. I thought you were special. But now I realize you're just like the rest of the silly little girls here, pining over poor, not-so-bright, not-terribly-interesting Harry Potter, who could not possibly make you happy, I might add." He smirked. "I thought you were different."

That was enough. Blinking back tears, she hastily tried to put her uniform back together and started for the door.

"And I thought you were, too," she said before slamming it, leaving him alone in his misery.

* * * * * *

"Miss Hawthorne, in my office, this instant," Snape growled at the end of potions class the following Monday. Nerissa looked at Ginny and rolled her eyes as she slowly strode to the front of the dungeon classroom.

"We'll wait outside for you, Nerissa!" Ginny called as she and the rest of the students left the room.

"I wouldn't bother with that, Miss Weasley. I have a feeling what Ms. Hawthorne and I need to discuss might take some time. You'd best run along to your next class," Snape snarled, his voice sonorous and unforgiving.

Once he was certain there were no enquiring minds and ears lurking just beyond the door of his office, he felt safe to launch into his tirade.

"And just what do you think you're doing, Nerissa, arranging for your Muggle friends to send you Muggle devices for Draco Malfoy?" Snape demanded.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Nerissa said defiantly.

"I'm talking about this!" he snapped, holding up a bulging, opened parcel addressed to Nerissa. She couldn't be sure, but it seemed as though the return address was somewhere in Hampshire. "This was intercepted on the owl network yesterday. Apparently, a Muggle has learned how to use it!"

"That doesn't have anything to do with me," Nerissa replied, fully aware that it did.

"Is that so?" Snape barked. "Well then perhaps you might be interested in the note accompanying it!"

His lips curled into a sneer, and he began to read in a thoroughly annoyed voice.

"'Dear Nerissa, Thank God you're alive! When I heard your house had burned down, I feared the worst. I'm glad you're safe now. I hope I'm sending this the right way, imagine my surprise when requested to send it "via owl"! I hope this gets to you--I had to wait for a school trip into town before I could get what you asked for, and it took weeks for the owl you sent to come back! Anyway, here's the CD player and CDs your friend Draco asked for. Funny name, Draco--is he your boyfriend? Hope he likes them. What kind of school is it you're going to now? You left so quickly, you didn't get the chance to tell me about it. And do accept my condolences for your grandparents' death. Love always, Amelia.' Sound familiar?"

So that was why she never received the new CDs.

"Well at least someone offered me condolences," Nerissa observed.

"Do you realize the kind of attention you're drawing to yourself?" Snape yelled, ignoring what she'd just said. "Not the mention you run the risk of exposing our world to a bunch of Muggles who couldn't possibly understand?! Do you have any idea what could happen if Muggles learned about our existence here?"

"Is it Draco Malfoy you object to or the fact I'm sullying this place with Muggle artifacts, father?" Nerissa retorted, looking her father straight in the eye. He wasn't used to being a parent, obviously. The color rose in Snape's face and he inhaled sharply, turning away from her.

"Nerissa, you cannot possibly comprehend the kind of danger you are in, regardless of your ridiculous attempts to remain in contact with Muggles," he began, much more calmly.

"I could comprehend it if you would at least let me know what it is you've been doing for the past fifteen years, and why it was so imperative for me never to have contact with you," she snapped back.

Snape sighed exasperatedly.

"Nerissa, if I told you that, it would put you in even more danger," he exhaled. "And that is something I will not do."

"Well, I see that neither of us has anything more to say to each other," Nerissa began bitterly, "me, because you already know everything I'll say, and you because you refuse to let anything be known."

"Nerissa," Snape ventured, wanting to say everything that his pride, immaturity, inability to communicate kept from saying about how he truly felt. He wanted to apologize for being an absent father, and for failing, now that he had the opportunity, to salvage what was left of their relationship.

"What?" Nerissa asked.

"Do be sure to take care with Draught of Peace on your next Potions exam. It is a very fragile mixture, and I'd like to see you be more delicate with it," he said in a perfunctory voice, as if he were nothing more than her professor.

"Yes, father," she said in a voice of mock obedience before slamming his office door.

The rest of that week passed by uneventfully, with Draco doing his best to pretend Nerissa never existed, and it seemed, with her father was doing the same.

* * * * * *

At the following Saturday's breakfast, the students tucked into chatting excitedly about that day's Quidditch match between Gryffindor and Hufflepuff. Midway through the meal, Professor McGonagall stood up at the head table and began to make a few announcements, but few students looked up from their breakfasts.

"...anyone with a copy of Beatrix Scrabbly's How to Hex Your Lover: Romantic Revenge for Today's Witch is advised to dispose of them at once, for a detention will be given to anyone found with it in their possession," McGonagall warned.

Ginny turned scarlet, and even Hermione had to stifle a giggle. Somewhere over at the Ravenclaw table, Michael Corner sat, hoping no one could see the huge bald patches on his head, victim of Ginny's ire over their on-again, off-again relationship, which was most definitely off this time around. But he was not alone. Scattered around the room, sheepish-looking boys nursed various injuries and humiliations, a few eyes were even swollen shut.

Almost on cue, when the announcements had ended, a fleet of owls descended upon the Great Hall, dropping the mail in each recipient's lap.

Hermione and Ron were all abuzz about the latest care packages their parents sent them via owl post, but Harry noticed a sudden eerie quiet across the table where Nerissa sat. Her eyes had not risen from the letter that landed in her lap. Like him, she had no family outside of Hogwarts, so it was indeed rare that she would receive mail.

"Nerissa, are you all right?" Harry asked. "You seem awfully quiet."

"Oh!" Nerissa exclaimed, shaking herself as if from a daze. She quickly rolled up the piece of parchment in her hand, which an owl dropped onto her plate several minutes earlier. She had not looked up since. "Sorry. Just...thinking."

"What did you get?" he asked. "Who's that from?"

"Um, I think I should show this to Professor McGonagall," was her only reply.

"Nerissa, what is it?" Hermione asked when she saw the terrified look on Nerissa's face. She clutched the letter to her chest, but not before Harry could see its entire contents.

"DIE, DAUGHTER OF SNAPE," it said in what appeared to be bright red ink.

She felt faint as she stood and started toward the head table, but she couldn't help but glance at her father, who responded by averting his eyes. Immediately, she sought out Draco's face, which stared back, cruel and unrelenting. His cold gaze was the last thing she remembered before the room went black.

* * * * * *

15 July 1981

Alexia was dead. She had fallen ill shortly after the baby's birth, and it seemed, she didn't even fight. Two days after her daughter was born, Alexia Revelle Steele Snape died. The doctors at St. Mungo's had identified it as blood poisoning, but in his heart, Severus knew the real reason for her death. When Alexia she was four months along with his child, he knew he had to tell her the awful truth.

She was having the child of a Death Eater.

He had turned himself around, he insisted, and look at the evidence--he was working for Dumbledore now, a potions master at the best wizarding school in Britain. But the reminder of his past was there for her to see, the Dark Mark on his arm. Alexia didn't know how he could possibly redeem himself.

And then there was the other truth Alexia had suspected all along--his love for Lily Evans (now Potter) had not waned. She didn't pretend to ignore the fact that his continuing ardor for Lily had something to do with his sudden change of heart. And he would carry that torch for her to the end. None of the love he had for his wife could ever match what he felt for Lily.

In the end, they said it was blood poisoning. But Severus knew it was really a broken heart. He'd heard it was possible to die of that, but never really believed it. This was his confirmation. She had let her sadness fester for the remainder of her pregnancy, and after she delivered the child, she let go.

And so the task of naming the child fell to him. Her first name would be the one Alexia had agreed upon: Nerissa, a name of such sharp, brutal beauty, which is what the child would be to him. But she had to have a middle name as well. Alexia would have been appropriate, but he didn't like how it sounded after Nerissa. In the end, he picked the most beautiful name he'd ever heard: Lily. Nerissa Lily Snape, already a motherless child.

And in the end, Snape's transformation seemed all for naught. Less than a year after he confessed himself to his wife, Lily Evans was dead.

13 July 1993

Nerissa's twelfth birthday was in full swing. The candles were blown out, the cake cut, presents opened, and Nerissa was contented with pretending to fly the Nimbus 2001 her grandparents had given her around the living room. The August trip to Derbyshire was far too long for her to wait to try it out.

But there was one family member who wasn't happy that day.

Aunt Portia was speaking with her parents in the kitchen, thinking neither Nerissa nor any of her cousins could hear her. But they could. First Colin pressed his ear to the kitchen door, then Nerissa joined him.

"...not so much as an owl with a card to wish her a happy birthday, for the second year in a row!" she fumed. "What kind of a father is that? Does he think that trunk he gave her when she turned ten is good for years? That he doesn't have to pay any attention to her because he gave her an expensive gift? The least he could do is drop in for a few hours and spend some time with her. She hardly knows who her father is!"

"Now, Portia, Severus must have had his reasons for not coming. Perhaps it just was not safe for him to travel," Grandfather Ignatius suggested. "You heard about the recent events at Hogwarts. Severus was probably needed there."

"Yes, because it's always only EVER about Severus!" Portia retorted. "I can't believe you're defending him after what he put Alexia through--he's not even your son!"

"Portia!" Grandmother Winifred exclaimed. "Really, he's been through a lot in his life."

"No, mother, listen to me," Portia demanded. "Do you know he never really loved Alexia? Oh, he loved her as a friend, maybe like a sister, but not as a husband should love his wife! He only married her because he'd given up hope at last of marrying Lily Evans when she married James Potter and had a child of her own."

"Portia, you don't know that to be true," Grandmother Winifred observed. "He mourned Alexia, just as we all did. He couldn't even care for Nerissa after that--that's why we took her in, because Severus was too devastated to look after her."

"Mother, are you quite forgetting who died three months after Alexia did?" Portia snapped. "Lily Evans! He may have been sad about Alexia's death, but he only really mourned Lily. Honestly, I don't know how you can't see it! He even gave his daughter Lily's name!"

Lily Evans. Such a mellifluous name. So that's where Nerissa got her middle name. It was so pretty, she overlooked assigning any sort of meaning or significance to it. It was just a few lovely sounds that hung prettily in the air when she said them...

* * * * * *

She felt as though someone had put weights on her eyelids, they were so heavy. Nerissa struggled to open them, and when she did, she found herself in a room she'd never seen before.

"There she is!" a pleasant-looking woman in what appeared to be a nurse's uniform exclaimed. "You gave us quite a scare there, fainting in the Great Hall in front of everyone! But don't worry, a little rest and you'll be good as new."

Nerissa pulled herself up onto her elbows. She was still wearing her school uniform, so she guessed she couldn't have been there that long.

"I fainted?" she asked.

"Yes! Went down just like that!" the nurse clapped her hands together. "A miracle you didn't hurt your head. Probably not eating well enough! I'm Madam Pomfrey, by the way. I believe this is our first meeting Miss...Hawthorne." The twinkle in her eye told Nerissa that Madam Pomfrey knew Hawthorne wasn't really her last name.

"And the note?" Nerissa asked when she tried to remember just what it was that sent her tumbling to the ground.

"The note?" Madam Pomfrey asked absently. "Ah yes, the note! Professor McGonagall has it now. I suspect she'll want to speak with you about it, but let's just wait a bit till you feel better."

Just then there was a crash outside the infirmary and Ginny burst through the door, followed by Hermione, Ron, and somewhere near the back, Harry. They were dressed in their warmest cloaks, with Ginny, Ron, and Harry in mud-caked Quidditch robes.

"We came just as soon as the Quidditch match was over!" Ginny exclaimed breathlessly.

"We wanted to stay behind, but McGonagall insisted that we go to the match," Hermione added quickly.

"But more importantly, Quidditch is back, and so is Harry!" Ron exclaimed, shaking him by the shoulders. Harry blushed.

"How did it go?" Nerissa asked.

"Ah, we won," Ron said casually with the wave of his hand. "Of course, we were playing Hufflepuff, so it's not exactly fair and square."

"I dunno, with you at keeper, I'd say we were pretty evenly matched," Ginny quipped, winking at Nerissa.

"Are you barmy?" Ron exclaimed, completely aghast. "Did you see that save I had right before Harry caught the Snitch? It was brilliant!"

"Must have missed that one," Ginny said. "But I did see you let the Quaffle in the five times before that."

The argument could have continued all day, but Madam Pomfrey had just spotted their mucky uniforms, which were trailing dirt and grass all over the floor.

"All right, that is quite enough! This is an infirmary and you a dirtying it with your filthy uniforms! Out, this instant! I will send Miss Hawthorne back to Gryffindor when she is fully recovered!" Madam Pomfrey ordered.

The group shrugged and rolled their eyes and then began trudging toward the door, except for Harry, who didn't budge.

"Coming, Harry?" Hermione called behind her.

"Uh, yeah, be right there!" he called back. Ginny, Ron, and Hermione left the infirmary, still arguing about the match, apparently unaware that Harry wasn't following them. Instead, he pulled up a chair next to Nerissa's bed and sat down.

"Professor McGonagall wants to see you," Harry said softly. Nerissa nodded. "Nerissa, I saw the note. I saw what it said."

"You did?"

"Is it true? Are you the daugh--"

"Yes," Nerissa said shortly, her lips pressing into a frown.

She couldn't be sure, but as she talked with Harry, Nerissa could have sworn she saw Draco hovering in the doorway. But when she tried to crane her neck to make sure--without drawing notice to herself--his blonde head suddenly disappeared.

"Oh," Harry said flatly. "Well, I won't tell anyone, you know."

She could see he was obviously not thrilled to hear this, but there was something forgiving in his eyes.

"Thanks, Harry," she said softly.

He wanted to say more, tell her that he knew what it was like to lose someone and to resent what's left of your family. "If there's one thing in life you can't choose," he wanted to impart, "it's family." And he wanted her to know it was all right to talk about it. But nothing came out when he opened his mouth.

"Look, Harry," Nerissa said suddenly as he stood to leave, "I know I haven't really tried very hard to fit in since I came here. But I want that to change in the future. Is that...okay?"

Harry just looked at her, wishing he had Hermione or Ginny there to tell him just the right thing to say.

"Yeah," he said softly and nodded. "Yeah, yeah, that's fine."

"Okay," Nerissa said, seemingly placated. It was all she needed to hear.

Two hours later, once Madam Pomfrey had declared Nerissa fit to return to normal activity, Professor McGonagall summoned her to her office. When she arrived, she found this would not be a private conversation. Headmaster Dumbledore--and her father--were already there waiting for her.

"Headmaster," Nerissa greeted Dumbledore, who nodded in acknowledgement. "Father," she mumbled.

"Miss Snape, do sit down," Dumbledore said, indicating the chair in front of McGonagall's desk. "Obviously, you know why you are here. We need to discuss the business of the threat you received in the post today."

"It's probably just some stupid prank someone, Draco Malfoy probably, is playing," Nerissa said dismissively, eyeing her father as he stood behind Professor McGonagall. "I think I overreacted."

"And how would Malfoy know you are my daughter?" Snape asked forebodingly. "Unless, of course, you told him."

Nerissa turned scarlet. She hadn't, of course, but she somehow felt her father knew that her relationship with Draco had gone beyond sharing Muggle music.

Dumbledore looked thoughtfully from father to daughter.

"Nerissa, much as I would like to believe it is a childish prank, I think we must take this much more seriously," Dumbledore said sagely. "This was intended as warning, not a practical joke."

"Pardon me for being so bold, Headmaster, but how do you know for sure?" she asked.

"Nerissa," he began, "Do you know anything of your provenance? Are you aware of just who your grandparents really were?"

Nerissa's eyes went from her father to Professor McGonagall, as if trying to determine if this was some kind of trick question.

"What do you mean 'who they really were'?" she asked at last.

Snape sighed audibly and looked to the ground, but McGonagall just nodded in Dumbledore's direction.