A Daughter of Snape, a Son of Malfoy

Chapter Three.

15 October 1996

Nerissa stared at the blank piece of parchment before her, quill in hand but unable to make any marks on the page. It could be a stupid decision, doing something for Draco Malfoy. After all, what was he to her? He liked Muggle music, but that was the only thing they shared, save for that kiss in the Astronomy Tower, which she concluded had been a mistake, surely. She was hysterical that night--she couldn't have been totally responsible for her actions.

Besides, she'd heard of all the terrible things he'd done to Harry, Ron, and Hermione, and part of her hated him for it. But she couldn't help but feeling that there was something human beneath his snarling, spiteful exterior, and if doing this helped her get at it, then so be it.

Her quill began to scratch away on the paper, the words coming quickly, but she still glanced around the common room every so often, making sure there were no prying eyes peeking over her shoulder.

Amelia Middleton

Bedales School

Petersfield

Hampshire

Dear Millie,

I know you will be quite shocked at the manner in which this letter is delivered to you. Please allow me to explain a bit!

I'm so sorry I left London so abruptly, and it's taken me so long to write. Rest assured, I am safe and sound, though, I should inform you, the rest of my family is dead. I wish I could tell you more about where I am now, but I just can't at the moment. I was wondering if you might be able to do a favor for my friend Draco (well, and for me too.) I'd explain more, but it's rather complicated. Could you pick up a new CD player for him, as well as the latest Manics album and maybe a few other albums you think he'd like? I hope the money I've enclosed is more than enough. This may seem like an odd request, but once you've gathered it all, put it in a parcel and set it on your windowsill for the owl to pick it up. I wish I could tell you more, but it's just not possible. Thanks so much, Mill. I miss you like nuts!

Love,

N

Nerissa placed the Muggle money Draco had given her a day earlier--more than one hundred pounds--folded the parchment around it, and hid it in her sleeve. She knew McGonagall had warned her not to try to contact her Muggle friends, but surely this was a harmless letter. Why should Voldemort, or anyone else for that matter, care about a note between friends discussing Muggle pop music? It would look just like any other letter, anyway.

She left Gryffindor with her secret parcel and headed for the West Tower, hoping no one would see her. She scaled the stairs to the top, picked out a hardy-looking brown owl, murmured a few instructions to it, and then watched as it launched into the air, quickly becoming nothing more than a wavering speck in the distance. She descended the stairs with a satisfied smile on her face, but as she neared the bottom, she found herself face-to-face with Harry, who looked just as surprised to see her there.

"Oh!" Nerissa exclaimed. "What are you doing here?" she demanded, a bit too harshly than she meant to sound.

"Er, well, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley sent me some sweets, and I was just going to go up there and send a letter to thank them," Harry said awkwardly.

"Oh. Well, carry on then, I suppose," Nerissa said stiffly and gestured upward.

"Um, thanks," he said, staring at the floor as she strode past her up the first flight of the winding staircase.

"Right," Nerissa nodded. "Well, cheers!"

She lingered for a moment and then took a few steps down.

"Look, Nerissa, about the other night," Harry blurted out. Nerissa turned around and looked up at him.

"It's already forgotten, Harry," Nerissa said, as coolly as she could, even though it was hardly very far from her mind. "I was out of my head then, anyway. You were just being a fr--a friend."

"Right. A friend," he echoed.

"I, uh, I also wanted you to know that I, um...really appreciate knowing that there's someone else here who knows what it's like to lose people you love," she continued, finding this part much harder to say. "It's nice to know I'm not...alone."

"Right," Harry nodded and so did Nerissa.

"Well, better get back. Lots of..." she began pointed in what she thought was the general direction of the Gryffindor common room, or perhaps the library. She wasn't really sure, because she had no idea what words were going to come out of her mouth next. "Um...work to do."

"Okay," Harry nodded. "See you."

"See you," Nerissa repeated and again started down the stairs, feeling a bit lighter than before. Harry turned and started back up the stairs but jumped when heard a loud crash and small yelp of pain. He whirled around, only to find Nerissa on the landing below, sheepishly looking back at him.

"Yeah, um, careful on the way down, all right?" she said to him, pointing at the offending steps that had sent her tumbling. "Those steps are...um...kind of slippery."

"Okay," Harry nodded, struggling to hide a smile. The similarity to another encounter with an intriguing female a few years earlier was not lost on him.

"Well, bye then!" Nerissa called as she hurried back to Gryffindor Tower as fast as her legs would carry her.

* * * * * *

28 October 1996

Nerissa had once again retreated to the solitude of the library, not so much to catch up on schoolwork--she had that fairly well in hand--but to steal a few moments to herself before dinner and reflect on the last two months of her life, in which her entire family, save for the long-absent and distant father, was decimated before her eyes.

"Do you ever do anything besides study, Hawthorne?" came the familiar haughty voice. Draco Malfoy, ostensibly free of anything resembling books or study materials, stood before her, arms crossed expectantly in front of him. Nerissa shut her Transfiguration textbook.

"Well, Draco, not everyone can afford to buy good marks like you can," Nerissa replied tartly.

Draco raised an eyebrow but said nothing.

"And I know schoolwork couldn't possibly be the reason why you've come to the library today, so why don't you just get on with it and tell me why you're here," she implored.

"Well," he began, glancing around carefully before he sat down next to her, "I was just about to inquire if you'd sent an owl to your friend regarding...eh, you know...what we talked about?"

"As a matter of fact, Draco, I sent her an owl about a week ago," Nerissa replied. "And I suspect that once she gets over the shock of finding out that I didn't die in the fire that killed my family, as well as the fact that I'm requesting her to send me something via owl, she'll get right on it."

Draco was unnervingly silent.

"So," he said after a long pause, "you going to Hogsmeade next weekend?"

"More than likely," Nerissa replied flatly.

"Right. Well, I suppose I'll see you around then," Draco said, abruptly turned on his heel and was gone.

She raised and craned her neck to see what could have prompted Draco's sudden departure. Her confusion ended when she saw Pansy Parkinson and a gang of several other utterly indistinguishable Slytherin girls chatting noisily as they emptied their bags out onto a table about twenty yards away.

"Of course," Nerissa thought, an amused smile creeping to her lips. "Wouldn't want to be seen with the likes of me in public, now would you?"

31 October 1996

After the Halloween feast, each house had some festivities planned--in Gryffindor, it was Nearly Headless Nick's 504^th dead day celebration, but Nerissa wasn't feeling particularly celebratory. She half-heartedly joined in on the party, eating a few sweets and chatting with Hermione, Harry, Ron, and Ginny, but when the four of them were distracted for a moment, she quickly slipped out of the common room and into the corridor, which stood silent, as Nerissa had expected.

She walked quietly through the halls, heading nowhere in particular, but making sure she didn't attract the attention of Filch. Before she could stop herself, she was opening the door of the Astronomy Tower to find Draco standing at a window, gazing out at the night sky.

He whirled around to see who was disturbing him and appeared to be doing his best to hide his glee at seeing her standing before him.

"Hawthorne," he said wryly, the corner of his mouth curling upward, "how surprising to find you here."

"Really," Nerissa replied. "Why do I have difficulty believing that?"

But before he could respond, they were once again locked in each other's arms.

Nerissa loved that she could be confident with Draco, and that excited her, but the nervous energy, the giddiness she felt around Harry, that was exciting too. Still, as she found herself wrapped in Draco's arms, inhaling his scent, all thoughts of Harry vanished from her mind.

She and Draco were like two children desperate for a parent's attention and found that fulfillment in each other. She amazed him with her candor and perceptiveness, and he surprised her with how tender he could be, never showing the rapacity she had come to associate with the Malfoy name. She would meet him at the Astronomy Tower and sit there for hours, wrapped in Draco's sinewy but still strong arms, his head leaning familiarly against hers. They savoured the closeness, loving the feeling of his chest rising and falling next to hers, the tenderness of earlobes touching. She marveled at the softness of his hands as they folded around hers and told him it had to be because he'd never lifted a finger to do anything himself; he took her good-natured barbs in stride and buried his face in the silky fluff on the back of her neck, inhaling the sweet combination of soap and the Muggle perfume she sometimes wore. He imagined her pinning her smooth dark hair to the top of her head as she scrubbed the back of her neck in the bath. Those familiar with Draco Malfoy's reputation would indeed by shocked by the chasteness of their meetings.

It was perhaps because of this closeness that Draco felt he could speak more freely with Nerissa than with anyone else he'd known at Hogwarts.

"Nerissa, my father isn't an adviser to the Ministry," Draco said cautiously. "He was, but he's not anymore. He's in Azkaban."

He could tell by the look on her face that she already knew that.

"Of course," he said nodding. "It's not exactly a secret anymore."

"Draco," Nerissa began, "I don't think any less of you because of who your father is."

Draco gave her a pained grin and shook his head.

"Do you want to know the worst thing?" he asked. "Up until a few months ago, I admired him. I wanted to be him when I grew up. In spite of everything he'd done to other people and everything he'd done to me, he still made me want to be just like him."

"But you're not," Nerissa offered.

"No," Draco acknowledged, "but I could have been." A heavy silence filled the air.

"What's your mother like?" Nerissa asked suddenly, feeling compelled to say something. Since she'd never known hers, she was always curious about children who had.

"Fragile," was the first thing Draco said. "She puts up a good front, though. Sometimes, she's worse than my father. But for her, it's the only way she can hide how disappointed and angry she is that her life didn't turn out the way she wanted."

"Why is that?"

"After I was born, my mother couldn't have any more children," Draco began. "She and my father were hoping for a large brood, to continue both family names, and when the healers told her that would be impossible, they both were inconsolable. And angry. I think they blamed each other, and I know they blamed me. I was told by my nanny that my mother couldn't even bring herself to hold me for the first few months I was alive because it hurt too much to look at me."

"Do you remember that?" she asked. Draco shook his head.

"No. Because when I was about a year old, I think my mother realized that I was her only child, and from then on, she scarcely left me out of her sight until I came to Hogwarts. And it still kills her that I'm so far from Wiltshire."

He didn't need any prompting by now. Everything he never could or would tell another soul was brimming to the surface.

"But of course, being the only son of Lucius Malfoy, there are expectations," he continued bitterly. "But I just don't know if I believe the things that they believe. I can't really explain how I feel about my father. Because on one hand, he's my father, but the things he's done...I don't even know about all of them, and they scare me. I guess I didn't realize everything he'd done until he got arrested last June and sent to Azkaban. That's when I found out for real all the people he'd killed or hurt."

Those incredible gray eyes--they were like quicksilver, save for a few warm flecks of gold just around the pupils. He wasn't all coldness and severity, Nerissa told herself, though she surmised she was probably the only one who'd realized that.

"Your father was a Death Eater," Nerissa observed. "What about your mother?"

Draco shook his head.

"She loves the life my father's status and his work affords her," he explained. "So she condones what he does so he can maintain the level of comfort and privilege she's used to. But I don't think she could ever bring herself to do what my father does and what he has done. She is not that strong. Her first concern when my father was arrested was if it would keep her from her monthly allowance, shopping for new robes, and throwing parties for all her witch friends. But I don't pretend to be unaware of why she does it. She immerses herself in the material world because she can't stand to face what her life's become. My grandfather chose her to be my father's wife because he felt she came from good stock and would give him many grandchildren. He told her it was her most important task in life. Imagine, if you were told all your life you were destined for only one purpose, one task. And you failed."

Nerissa shook her head. "I can't."

After a pause, Draco looked pensively at her. "Well, now that I've spilled my guts, it's your turn," he said, almost playfully.

"My turn?" Nerissa echoed, nervously.

"Yeah, what's your story, Hawthorne. As sordid and angst-ridden as mine?" he smiled mischievously.

"Well," Nerissa began hesitantly, "I don't know. You know that my mum died a few days after I was born. And I don't really know my dad. He'd come around for the occasional birthday or would send me a present, but I think I can count the times I've seen him on one hand. And then there was the fire this summer. I was out with a friend, and somehow the fire started, and everyone was still inside. And then I was brought here. If my father had something to do with sending me to Hogwart's, I don't know. I...I still haven't talked with him."

There. She'd said it. And with only a few tiny, little, inconsequential white lies.

"So," Draco smirked drawing her close to him, "we're both only children with gits for dads."

* * * * * *

It was on an appropriately melancholy November afternoon before dinner that Nerissa began humming a brooding Portishead song as she and Draco languished together in the Astronomy Tower as rain pelted the windows outside.

"Are you trying to destroy my will to live, Hawthorne?" Draco asked, only half-annoyed at her entrancing voice. "Sing that much longer, and you're going to end up throwing yourself off this tower!" Draco winced when he realized just how insensitive that was. But the dreamy smile didn't fade from her face. Instead, she snuggled even deeper into Draco's arms.

"Not if I throw you off first," she quipped after a moment.

"Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you!"

Nerissa shook her head. "Nah. You'd make an awful mess when you hit the ground." She winked at him, but there was a glimmer of sadness in her eyes, and Draco scolded himself for not having been more tactful.

But Nerissa wasn't truly bothered by his comment. She knew he hadn't meant it that way. Besides, she liked this. She liked retreating here where there were no expectations and responsibilities, no histories and duties. Time seemed to stop, and the world disappeared when they came here together. They were the only two people that mattered once they walked through that door. They didn't have to talk, they could just be. She wanted things to stay exactly as they were. This place was her escape, and though she struggled to admit it, Draco was becoming her solace in a world that seemed to make less and less sense every day.

Unfortunately for Nerissa and Draco, these times together couldn't last forever, and inevitably, they would have to part and return to their respective houses. The routine was the same. Nerissa would smooth her rumpled hair and robes then peak out the door of the Astronomy Tower to see if anyone was in the corridor. If all was clear, she would sneak out and hurry back to Gryffindor. Draco would wait a minute before peaking out himself and then making his way back to Slytherin.

"Hey, Nerissa!" a voice called. She turned to face Harry Potter, who had quickened his step to catch up with her.

"Hello, Harry," she said, as calmly as she could.

"Where were you coming from just now?" he asked, glancing around.

"Really? That's where I was. Didn't see you there," he said benignly.

"Oh," Nerissa blurted out, surprised. "That's because I...took a little walk. Needed to clear my head."

"Ah, right," Harry nodded, but judging by the look in his eye, he wasn't convinced she was telling him the truth. "Well, see you at dinner."

* * * * * *

"You have to come to the Hogsmeade weekend with us, Nerissa," Ginny insisted that night at dinner. "Aren't you going mad having to be inside all the time? I know I am. And you haven't been around Gryffindor much, either."

This last remark made Harry pop his head up from the spaghetti he had been tucking into and look in Nerissa's direction, though he said nothing. Nerissa felt her face go scarlet.

"Anyway, we're going to buy new dress robes for the Yule Ball," Ginny remarked offhandedly. "Well, I am, at least."

Hermione and Ron looked at Nerissa expectantly.

"All right, I'll go," Nerissa assented. She hadn't been planning on not going, but something told her she needed to put more effort into being social with members of her house.

"Good!" Ginny exclaimed. "We'll head to Gladrags straightaway when we get there."

And sure enough, that Saturday, as Ginny, Lavender, Parvati, Hermione, and Nerissa arrived in Hogsmeade, they headed immediately in the direction of Gladrags Wizardwear.

"We'll meet you in an hour at the Three Broomsticks, okay?" Hermione called over her shoulder at Ron and Harry, who shrugged and watched sheepishly as the group of girls sped down the street.

They spilled into Gladrags with an explosion of giggles and chatting. Lavender and Parvati's biggest concern was of course deciding what color robe to buy. Lavender was partial to pale pink, while Parvati was toying with the idea of chartreuse. Hermione rolled her eyes at their silliness as she sorted through a rack of conservative pale-colored robes.

But all talking stopped when Ginny pulled a gown of a lovely cobalt blue, nearly identical to the color of her eyes, from the racks of dress gowns.

"Ooh, Ginny, that's lovely!" Lavender cooed as she held a gown of, oddly enough, lavender against herself. "You should try it on!"

"That just arrived this week," the shop assistant explained. "Newest style from Paris!"

"Then you should definitely try it, Ginny!" Parvati exclaimed.

The girls sounded their assent as Ginny, looking resplendent, modeled the garment. But when she took a glance at the price tag, her eyes widened.

"I can't afford fourteen galleons," she murmured to herself, loud enough for Nerissa and Hermione to hear it and exchange glances. Crestfallen, Ginny marched to the sale rack and gloomily sifted through robes from last year and even further back.

"I suppose this will have to do," she sighed, bringing a plain-looking robe of light pink to the counter. The price tag indicated it cost three galleons and five sickles, hardly very much for a robe, but it was all Ginny could pay. Even the shop assistant looked dejected as she announced the price.

The mood ever less jovial, the remaining girls sifted through the racks until they settled on the perfect robes. Hermione chose a deep red, Parvati a shimmering sea green, and Lavender, who didn't care that her best friend said people would tease her because of it, settled on a lavender gown. Nerissa tried a gown of purple velvet so dark, it almost appeared black, but she still thought it was perfect. The girls brought their purchases to the shop assistant, who wrapped them up.

"Are you coming, Nerissa?" Hermione prompted, waiting for her by the door.

"Yeah, in a minute," she replied. "I just want to try on one more thing, just to make sure. Go ahead without me, I'll be right there."

Once they were out of sight, Nerissa marched over to the rack and pulled out the cobalt blue robe.

"Add this one to my order, please," she told the shop assistant. "And could you wrap it up as well?"

"Certainly," the shop assistant smiled. "That will be twenty-five galleons in all, please."

Nerissa gladly handed over the money, grabbed her purchases, and raced down the street to the Three Broomsticks, where she found Ginny, Hermione, Harry, and Ron gathered around a table, conversing excitedly.

"Which one did you choose?" Hermione asked once Nerissa had sat down.

"The purple one," Nerissa replied. "I had to try it on again, just to make sure."

Harry glanced down at the sack Nerissa carried, which seemed to hold more than one robe.

"Well, good, glad that's all sorted," Ron said in a sarcastic, yet still good-natured voice. "We ordered you a butterbeer, Nerissa. You do drink butterbeer, don't you?"

"Um, yes, I suppose so," Nerissa said, none too convincingly, as Ron passed a bottle in her direction. She smiled and awkwardly attempted to join the conversation, until she spotted a familiar white blonde head across the room. Draco was laughing and joking around in a seemingly mean-spirited tone with his usual clan of Slytherins. When someone cracked a particularly nasty joke, she saw his head turn, and he caught a glimpse of her. A flash of recognition came across his face, as well as, Nerissa thought, a tiny smile, which he quickly tried to hide.

Then, suddenly, he stood up, announced something to his gaggle of friends, and quickly left the table, heading down a corridor to somewhere unseen.

"Are there loos here?" Nerissa asked once she saw this, interrupting the conversation.

"Um, yeah, it's just down that corridor there," Hermione said, pointing in the direction Nerissa had seen Draco go.

Nerissa stood up at once. She walked past the doors to the restrooms and instead went straight ahead, to the door leading outside. There, standing under a tree behind, Draco was waiting for her.

* * * * * *

A few hours later, McGonagall appeared to round everyone up and head them back in the direction of Hogwarts. A number of first years had spent a bit too much at Honeydukes and looked quite green as they made their way back to the school.

Nerissa, alone in the dormitory, quietly pulled the cobalt blue robe--which was wrapped beautifully in iridescent tissue paper and ribbons of varying colors, all of them a variation of blue--out of her shopping bag and placed it on Ginny's bed. Then she went downstairs to the Common Room to relax with the others before dinner.

But their conversation was interrupted by a shriek and the sound of footsteps bounding down the stairs. A moment later, Ginny appeared in the Common Room, the cobalt blue robe in hand.

"Who did it? Who did this?!" she exclaimed breathlessly.

"Did wha'?" Ron demanded, annoyed.

"Someone...someone bought the robe for me!" she continued. "I tried it on and I loved it, but didn't have enough money, and when I went upstairs just now, it was on my bed!"

Harry and Hermione immediately looked at Nerissa, who did her best to affect a blank yet still puzzled look on her face.