Birthday

Birthday

You say it's your birthday?

Well, it's my birthday too, yeah!

You say it's your birthday?

We're gonna have a good time!

I'm glad it's your birthday!

Happy birthday to you!

Yes, we're goin' to a party, party

Yes, we're goin' to a party, party

Yes, we're goin' to a party, party

I would like you to dance--Birthday

Take a cha-cha-cha-chance--Birthday

I would like you to dance--Birthday

Dance!

I would like you to dance--Birthday

Take a cha-cha-cha-chance--Birthday

I would like you to dance--Birthday

Dance!

You say it's your birthday?

Well, it's my birthday too, yeah!

You say it's your birthday?

We're gonna have a good time!

I'm glad it's your birthday!

Happy birthday to you!

It was Ron's fifteenth birthday, and all of the Gryffindor fourth year boys had gathered in their dorm to celebrate. Earlier that day Ron and Harry had strung up crepe paper and balloons all around the room, causing a dizzying effect of colors, which included every color imaginable except for possibly pink.

All five boys were sitting around Ron's four-poster (as to get a better look at the loot he was getting), Ron looking especially smug that he was about to be the recipient of some presents. All of the presents had been stacked on Ron's bed, each of them varying in size and shape, though none of them reaching a tremendous magnitude.

"Open mine first!" Dean shouted, trying to contain his laughter. He couldn't wait to see the look on Ron's face when he opened it.

"Alright," Ron said as he picked up the package from Dean off the bed. It was a cube-shaped package wrapped in a brown parchment, about half a foot across, with a tag on it that read, 'To Ronny-boy'.

"Open it!" Dean said, about to explode with laughter.

Ron tore away the paper and opened the box, which was just a regular cardboard box. Inside of it, however, was something not regular...

A miniature chicken.

Dean erupted into laughter, much to the apathy of the other four boys.

"Okay..." Ron said, but as he was about to put the small chicken down, it began to move.

"Why did the chicken cross the road?" the chicken asked, it's voice quite masculine for such a small chicken.

"Oh, this is great!" Dean shouted through laughter from the floor where he had been rolling around.

"Er...to get to the other side?" Ron said.

"No," the chicken responded.

"To...get some chicken feed?"

"Try again, son."

"To cross the road?"

"'Fraid not."

This went on for about ten minutes. Ron became frantic.

"To eat a spider that was stuck to its foot?"

"Nah, you're not even close."

"TO KILL YOU?"

"Okay, let's not get violent here..."

But it was too late: Ron grabbed the chicken, opened the dorm window, and threw out the miniature chicken (to its death, we may never know).

Dean was now unconscious from laughing so much. Harry, Neville, and Seamus were all in a state of confusion about what was going on, but soon everything was back to normal and Dean had regained consciousness.

"Did you get the punch-line?" Dean asked.

"Shut up about the chicken, okay?" Ron snapped.

"Here," Neville said, handing Ron his present, a small one wrapped in blue, "this one's from me."

"Why, bless your heart," Ron said as he took the present and ripped off the blue wrapping paper.

"I hope you like those: I ate too many once, though, and I never woke up again."

"Er, Neville? You're awake now," Harry said.

"Oh--yeah..."

Ron ripped away the remaining paper to reveal five Peppermint Patty-Cakes. Peppermint Patty-Cakes were a lot like chocolate mints, except they were bigger and had icing on the outside. They were wizard-made, of course; Ron had heard tell before that you could only find Peppermint Patty-Cakes in Blackpool, and he supposed that would explain why he had never seen one before.

"Try one out, then," Seamus said, prodding Ron in the side.

"Here," Ron said in his generosity, handing each of his roommates a Patty-Cake, "have one."

So all five boys each ate their Patty-Cakes, but none of them fell asleep and never woke up again as Neville had done before. Ron had to admit, the Peppermint Patty-Cakes were extremely delicious.

"Thanks, Neville; that was the tastiest present I've ever had."

But he spoke too soon: within seconds, all five boys were rolling around in pain on the ground as their respective stomachs decided that they didn't like Peppermint Patty-Cakes. After all of their stomachs had stopped contracting and knotting themselves up, Ron smacked Neville upside the head.

"What are you trying to do? Kill us?"

"Er--" Neville was becoming quite visibly nervous, as though Ron's accusation was accurate. "Uh...I have to get something...in my car...." And so Neville shot out of the dorm room before anyone could stop him (much to the surprise of everyone, they also heard a car speed away).

"Okay, now open mine," Harry said.

"Yeah, sure." Ron picked up the present from Harry, which was wrapped in this weird paper that had a moving picture of Albus Dumbledore on it.

"Sorry, I couldn't find any other paper," Harry said.

"It's alright." As Ron looked in amusement at the picture of Dumbledore on the package, he saw the tag on the package, which read: 'To Roger, from Harry'.

"Oh, wait--that's not your present," Harry said, snatching away the gift. "I should've used different paper. Here: this one is yours." Harry handed Ron a smaller present: and by the shape of the box, Ron could already tell what it was.

"Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans!" Ron shouted excitedly as he tore off the paper (ripping off Dumbledore's head) and opened the box. He immediately grabbed a bean and shoved it into his mouth. "It must be my lucky day: I got a lemon meringue flavored one!"

Soon, a heated game of what was called 'Bean Risk' developed: when it's your turn, you simply close your eyes and pick out a bean, and then chew it and swallow it--no matter what flavor it is.

"My turn!" Seamus said, closing his eyes and picking out a bean. He flung it into his mouth.

After he began to chew, he suddenly looked like he was about to throw up, but Ron, Harry, and Dean kept reminding him that he had to swallow. After what looked like Seamus swallowing a pair of dirty socks, Ron asked him, "What flavor'd you get?"

"Dirty socks," he replied sickly.

"Looks like it's my turn again," Ron said. He got a bean and put it in his mouth. "Ah, beef," he said, a relieved look on his face.

The other three boys wrinkled their noses at Ron's good fortune: the little bugger hadn't gotten a bad flavor yet.

"Your turn, Harry," Ron said, picking some of the jellybean from his teeth.

"I'm going to get a good flavor this time, just you watch," said Harry as he drew a bean from the box. He placed the bean in his mouth (he had developed a method for bean tasting), and he slowly began to chew.

"Aw, jeez," Harry said as he grimaced. "I got floor wax again."

"Again?" the other boys repeated in unison.

"What, is there an echo in here or something?" Harry snapped, shoving the box into Dean's hands.

Dean unceremoniously took a jellybean and popped it into his mouth.

"Water," he said. "Not really a bad flavor, but it's not real great, either."

"Hey, you still have to open my present!" Seamus said, trying to prevent his turn from happening (so far, the young lad had only gotten salt, mold, sweat, elbow grease--even though there's no such thing--, and dirty socks).

"Oh, yeah!" Ron said, grabbing the last package, which was a medium sized rectangular box. He tore off the green wrapping paper and opened the box. Ron then folded open the tissue paper to reveal: a blue bikini. Ron's ears went pink.

"Er--thanks, Seamus...but I'm not that kind of guy."

"What?" Seamus said, confused. "That's not what I got you!"

"Well, that's what's here."

Seamus' face was now very red: it could take his entire lifetime to rectify this blemish upon his reputation.

"Eh, oh well," Ron said. "I might as well use it next time we go swimming."

***

Meanwhile, across the hall in the sixth year boys' dorm, Fred, George, and Lee were beside themselves with laughter.

"I wish I could see their faces..." George howled.

"Let's go over there now!" Fred said.

"Yeah, come on, let's go see 'em," said Lee.

And so the three went over to the fourth year boys' dorm, Fred holding the present that Seamus had really bought for Ron (a few Chocolate Frogs).

As they left their room, they came across Hermione, who was about to knock onto the dorm room that Ron's party was in.

"I wouldn't go in there if I were you," George laughed.

"Yeah, you know how guys can get at parties," Lee said.

"Oh...well, I just wanted to give him this present," Hermione said, showing them all a small package.

"Yeah, best do it tomorrow, when they're all sober," Fred said, letting off a very feminine giggle.

"Well...okay."

So Hermione backed away from the door, and George, Fred, and Lee went through to Ron's party, closing the door behind them. For a few moments, Hermione could only hear a few muffled voices from within the dorm.

Soon that was replaced with muffled screaming.

The door flew open, and George, Fred, and Lee were thrown out of the dorm; all of them looked like they had just been beaten up. To top it all off, Lee had a blue bikini bottom on his head, and George had the bikini top tied around his chest.

"What happened?" Hermione asked.

"Nothing," George, who was barely conscious, said. Though he had two black eyes, he was still trying to hold back laughs. "Just a little prank of ours."

"Is he okay?" Hermione asked, pointing to Fred, who was out cold and lying facedown on the ground.

"Yeah," Lee said, "he'll be awake in a few minutes."

"Aren't you in pain?"

"Nah."

"Hey, at least we get to keep the bikini," Lee said.