Christmas Time

Christmas time is here again
Christmas time is here again
Christmas time is here again
Christmas time is here again

Ain't been round since you know when
Christmas time is here again
O-U-T spells "out"...
* * *

Christmas spirit is strong in the air during the holidays, especially at Hogwarts. The Great Hall was decked out as always, and Christmas dinner had come. This year (as usual), many people had gone home for the holidays, but there was a handful--make that armful--of people who decided to stay. Harry, in his sixth year at Hogwarts, was staying at Hogwarts, and Ron and Hermione had also made plans to stay at school over the Christmas break. There were a few others who stayed also: a group of Ravenclaw girls, two Hufflepuff boys, and Draco Malfoy.

Dumbledore had planned for Christmas dinner to take place at one table, as he had done before when only a few students and some of the teachers remained. Malfoy, the only Slytherin there (besides Snape), seemed uncomfortable being surrounded by non-Slytherins.

"Oh, come on, Malfoy! Get into the Christmas spirit!" Ron said, slapping Draco on the back.

Draco stared at Ron. "Have you been drinking?"

"Now, Mr. Malfoy," Dumbledore said with a smile, "Mr. Weasley is just trying to spread the joy of Christmas! It would be refreshing if everyone forgot their hatred of one another and just enjoyed themselves!"

"Fine..." Draco muttered, looking at his empty plate.

All of the students and all of the teachers were sitting around the empty table, waiting expectantly for their feast. Nothing happened.

"What do we got to eat?" Harry asked, his fork and knife in his hands.

"Oh..." Dumbledore looked a bit worried. "I forgot about that..."

"You forgot the food?" Snape asked.

"I'm sure the house elves can make something really quick," Professor McGonagall ensured them.

"No, I set them all free," Hermione said with a smile on her face.

"You what?!" Snape roared.

"I gave each of them a piece of clothing and set them all free! Isn't it wonderful?"

"I hate you," Ron scowled at her.

"No, I'll cook up something," Dumbledore said with a smile, disregarding the fact that Hermione had gone and set free probably one of Hogwarts' most valuable assets.

With a flick of Dumbledore's wand, a stove appeared.

"I haven't cooked for years," he chuckled, giving the impression that he had no idea what he was doing.

"I can cook," Professor Flitwick said, walking up to the stove.

"Now, now--I never like to turn down a challenge. I'll do it myself. You all just sit down and leave this to me."

Flitwick sat down with the other teachers and the students. Everyone watched Dumbledore quietly (except for the group of Ravenclaw girls, who had no respect whatsoever of Dumbledore's concentration. They were probably talking about something unimportant and totally unrelated, such as the 'Snitch incident' which had occurred the previous year).

"Okay, so we're going to have some turkey, and some gravy, and how about some...some..."

"Asparagus?" Ron asked.

"Sure, why not."

"And cranberry jubilee?"

"Might as well."

"And lobster?"

"Okay by me."

"And filet mignon?"

This dialogue between Ron and Dumbledore went on for about five minutes, all the while Dumbledore was magicking up whatever Ron suggested. As the amount of food that he put on top of the stove increased, the stove magically expanded to satisfy the size of the food.

"...And jelly donuts?"

"Yeah, donuts are good."

"Um...Albus? Do you think all of this food is essential for this small group?" Snape interrupted.

"Oh, I suppose you are right. Let's scratch the jelly donuts." He flicked his wand at the donuts and they disappeared.

"No, I meant most all of this stuff is unnecessary; you have enough food here to feed an army."

"Should we invite them, maybe?"

"No!" Snape said, getting a bit annoyed that this old coot Dumbledore was the Headmaster and not himself. "May I help you cook the meal, Albus?"

"Yep; we can all use help sometimes. Now, I need you to cook all this, and you come and get me when it's done," Dumbledore said, patting Snape on the shoulder and then taking his seat at the head of the table. Snape looked shocked.

"I thought I was your assistant!" Snape said loudly.

"I thought I told you to get cookin'. Chop, chop, Severus."

Snape gritted his teeth. "Yes, Albus."

Snape flicked his wand at all of the food and it all disappeared, leaving the stove bare. He then flicked his wand twice more at the stove, producing a loaf of bread and a pitcher of water. He then took the bread, tore it apart with his bare hands (with much difficulty), and gave each person a chunk of it. Then he poured out the water into each person's goblet and sat down.

"Dinner is served," Snape said curtly.

Everyone looked a bit startled. Harry took a bite (or he at least made an attempt to take a bite) out of his piece of bread.

"This is stale," he said.

Snape quickly got up, his face less than pleasant, and swiped the bread off of Harry's plate. "That'll teach you to be thankful."

"Now, Severus!" McGonagall scolded. "We are here to eat a Christmas feast, not to be given a stale piece of bread and rusty water! I'll cook."

"Please, Professor!" Hagrid spoke up, standing from his seat. "I'll gladly cook the dinner. I've got years o' experience in cookin'."

McGonagall looked less than grateful at Hagrid's volunteering. Hesitantly, she nodded and sat down, and Hagrid made his way to the stove.

"You're not going to let him cook?" Draco asked (more to Snape than to anyone else).

"Of course we will," Dumbledore said. "Hagrid makes a mean grilled cheese sandwich."

"Grilled cheese?!" McGonagall nearly shouted as she stood up.

Just as she said this, Professor Trelawney walked in. She looked mystical, to say the least. She walked over to the table, but she did not sit down; she only stood in back of an empty chair.

"I predict that the next person to rise from this table will die a horrible death soon thereafter!" Trelawney said firmly, her eyes darting from person to person.

Harry stood from his seat and shouted at the prophesizing professor:

"Shut up!"

"Potter will die!" the Divination teacher said gravely and forcefully, pointing at Harry. The two Hufflepuff boys gasped and hid under the table; Hermione rolled her eyes and sighed exasperatedly.

"And sooner than you think!" Snape suddenly shouted. He ran over to Harry and began to choke him.

"Severus!" McGonagall shouted, slapping the greasy-haired man (in much the same manner that she had during the dueling club folly the previous year).

Snape slowly and reluctantly released his grip from Harry's neck, letting the boy-who-lived drop to the ground limply. Harry slowly climbed up from the floor (the two Hufflepuff boys had also come out of hiding and were now sitting in their seats).

Meanwhile, Hagrid had had cooked a platter full o' grilled cheese sandwiches.

"Christmas dinner, any o' yeh?"

For the sake of brevity, everyone took a sandwich (some more reluctantly than others)--except for two people.

"Professor Dumbledore! Ron! Yeh didn't get any sandwiches!"

"Oh--er..."

"We'll be fine, Hagrid," Dumbledore said, looking a bit uneasy.

"Wait a minute!" Draco said, bolting at Ron and snatching a box out from where he was holding it under the table. "They've been sneaking jelly donuts!"

Ron, in a fit of desperation, darted out of his chair and sprinted towards the door of the Great Hall; however, Draco was right behind him, and Ron was tackled before he could get to the door.

"You'll never take me alive!" Ron shouted maniacally.

"Calm down, it's just a donut," McGonagall said.

"But look!" Draco shouted, opening the box. "They ate them all; I wanted one!"

Dumbledore shrugged, a bit of jelly around his lips.

"I suggest we expel Potter!" Snape shouted, bolting up from his chair and pointing an accusing finger at Harry.

"I didn't have anything to do with this!" Harry shouted.

"You don't have anything to do with anything, do you?" Snape shouted back sarcastically.

"Please!" Dumbledore shouted, quieting everyone instantly (except for the group of Ravenclaw girls who had no respect whatsoever of Dumbledore's authority. They were probably talking about something completely irrelevant, such as the riot that had taken place the year before after the Quiddich semi-final between Gryffindor and Slytherin). "We have come here to enjoy Christmas dinner; to socialize; to thrive in the Christmas spirit. If we cannot have that, then what is Christmas?"

The crowd was reverently silent, contemplating what Dumbledore was saying (except for the Ravenclaw girls, who had no respect whatsoever of anything that related to Dumbledore). There was not a dry eye in the Great Hall (except for the group of Ravenclaw girls, who were so busy in their own little world that they didn't have a clue of what was going on).

Draco broke the moment of silence:

"Give me donuts, or give me death!"

Then the ruckus that had taken place beforehand continued. Draco pounced on Ron and began thrashing at him; Harry also joined in the fight for the heck of it.

"Aha!" Draco said, standing up and pointing at Ron. "You still have one left!"

Ron, lying on the floor and panting, slowly and hesitantly pulled out the donut he had concealed in his robes.

"Give it to me!" Draco commanded coldly, holding out his trembling hand.

Ron looked defiantly into Draco's eyes. The moment was tense.

"I regret that I have only one donut to lose for my country," Ron said mournfully, handing Draco the round pastry.

Draco snatched the donut out of Ron's hand and bit into the object of envy, his face full of bliss; and then he opened his eyes with disgust.

"This is blueberry filling!" he shouted, shoving the donut into Ron's face.

Meanwhile, Dumbledore and the other teachers had gone to their own table at the other end of the room to escape the madness (the Ravenclaw girls were still in their own little world). It turns out that Dobby had come back with all of the house elves because in reality Hermione never had freed them, she had just locked them in her trunk and kept them as her own personal slaves. So the house elves all made a bunch of food for the teachers while Harry, Ron, and Draco fought over the jelly donut, Hermione and the two Hufflepuffs watched, and the Ravenclaw girls stayed in their own little section of the universe, with no respect whatsoever of Dumbledore. Merry Christmas.