I am...by

~I am... by: Hermione Granger~

I am weak and scared.

I wonder if we will get thought this war alive.

I hear the voices calling me Mudblood ,

    Telling me I'm not good enough.

I see the fear that the world will crumble.

I want to be strong enough to fight.

I am weak and scared.

I pretend I have all the answers,

When I don't.

I feel that there is no hope.

I touch all my books and turn the pages,

Praying for the answer.

I worry about who will die next.

I cry when another one of my friends dies.

I am weak and scared.

I understand that there is,

Only one way that it will end.

I say that everything will be okay.

I try to be strong for everyone.

I hope that one day the War will end,

And I can finally cry.

I am weak and scared.

~*~

Hermione Granger looked over her poem once more. It was true, all of it. She was scared. No matter how smart she was there was no way to stop this. It was inevitable. In the end there was nothing she could do. She stood up from her desk and walked to her dresser. She looked into the mirror at herself. She almost gagged at what she saw.

Her normally bushy hair hung limply around her shoulders. Her once deep brown eyes were now dull and haunted. Her face was pale and the skin seemed to stretch over her bones. She had been thought so much, and yet so little.

She had lost some of her dearest friends. Lupin. Hermione's eyes watered as she remembered. He died saving her. He had jumped in front of the killing curse. For her. She didn't deserve it. She still remembered the way Pettigrew's face looked once he realized that he had not killed her, but his former friend. It looked the same when Tonks had come out of no were and took his life.

Tonks. She had also died. She went not to long after the love of her life, Remus. She was murdered by her aunt. The same one who had killed Sirius and took Neville's parents from him.

Silent tears now fell from Hermione's eyes. Neville. Voldemort himself killed him. She still remembered how he had made fun of Neville as he tortured him. She remembered the way Neville had cried. Ginny cried as well when she saw her friend die.

Ginny. Hermione was now crying freely. Ginny had been taken captive by a group of Death Eaters. She was tortured. She was raped several times by almost all of them. Avery finally murdered her after he was done with her. What was worst is that her parents saw it all. They had to watch as their only daughter was beaten and raped. They had to watch as she screamed and cried for help, knowing they could do nothing. Mrs. Weasley meet the same fate after they were done with her daughter.

Mr. Weasley was still alive. If one would call breathing alive. He was a shell of the man he once was. He had lost all of the women in his life and his sons all went into hiding. All of his sons that were still alive, that is.

Bill, and Fred were killed in the last battle. George went to Scotland and was now a spy for the Order. Percy, who had come back to his family, still worked for the Ministry. And Ron...well, no one wanted to talk about it..

Hermione was now sitting in a chair in front of her dresser with her face in her hands, sobbing. Ron. Ron was the last one they lost. Hermione had tried to hard to save him, but in the end she couldn't. In the end she couldn't do anything to help. It seemed unfair that she had lived and they had died. They all deserved to live more than she did. Lucius should have stabbed her in the chest and not Ron. Ron needed to be here. Everyone needed Ron. She needed Ron.

After Ron's death everything had changed. Hermione had gone into a deep depression. She didn't eat. She didn't sleep. She didn't care about anything.

'That's a lie,' she told herself. 'You still care about Harry.'

Harry. Yes, she still did care about Harry. That's why she had done some of the things she had done. It was all for Harry. She needed to protect Harry. That is the only reason she hadn't killed herself already. Because of Harry. She wasn't good enough to help Harry as she was now, but soon she would have enough power to stop it all.

Hermione looked away from her reflection to the clock. It read 5:28 P.M. She had 7 minutes before she had to be at the manor. It was all for the best. It was all for Harry. She would do this for Harry.

~*~

Hermione stumbled into her bedroom and fell onto her bed. She couldn't see her way, because the tears that clouded her vision. She couldn't believe what she had done. Her arm still hurt from the burn and her head ached from being searched for answers. She had expected this. When she went to the Malfoy Manor she knew what she was getting into.

She had been planning it ever since Ron's death. The first step of her plan was to get close to Draco Malfoy. She had seceded in becoming his 'Mudblood whore', as he called her. She let him violate her, take his pleasure of her and take advantage of her. It was for the best.

The second step of her plan was to get into the group of Death Eaters and ask to join. It wasn't easy but she had seceded there as well. Draco said he was proud of her.

The third part was to learn more of the dark arts. After three weeks she had learned all she needed to know.

The fourth step she had completed tonight. She looked at her left forearm were the dark mark shown. She had become a Death Eater. It was all for the best. There was only one thing to do now.

She sat up and ignored her pain. The witch wiped her eyes clear and stood up. Reaching into her robes she pulled out her wand. She knew what she had to do.

~*~

              3 months later.......

Hermione Jane Malfoy sat under the largest tree on the grounds. This stop reminded her of Hogwarts. She missed those days so much. She didn’t want them back, however. That would mean going back to they way life once was. Peaceful, happy and full of friends. Now life was peaceful and happy but there were no friends. She talked to Pansy, but in all honesty, she couldn't stand her. Neither could her new husband Draco.

She had married Draco after the final battle two months ago. After the massacre, the massacre she caused. The night she had gotten the dark mark she left her room to find the others. Mr. Weasley, Dung, Ms. Figg, the remaining Weasley sons, and Snape were in the kitchen of the headquarters.

She had slipped by to the front door to let her fellow Death Eaters in. There were 20 Death Eaters and six members of the Order. It hadn't even remotely been fair. All the Order members were killed. She didn't feel the least bit guilty. Nor did she feel guilty when she watched the Dark Lord kill the-boy-who-lived.

Harry was her friend, and she loved him as one. That's why she did what she did. You see Harry was now at peace. He was with his loved ones and his family. It was what he'd always wanted. She had given it to him. Why should she feel guilty?

The Dark Lord had now taken over the magically world. After the final battle and Harry died, Voldemort ruled over everything. Hermione had been in the Inner Circle so she had a special place in the world now. Believe it or not Hermione was happy. She had everything she had always wanted. She was accepted, she was powerful, she had a husband who loved her, and she was happy.

She looked down at her poem and smiled. This poem was also true, and she hoped it never changed.

I am powerful and great.

I wonder why I didn't see the power,

Of the dark arks soon then I did.

I hear the voices that were,

Once in my head,

Shrieking in pain as they leave.

I see the world the fear in others eyes,

When they look at me.

I want to make them fear me more,

To make them obey me.

I am powerful and great.

I pretend that it was,

A hard decision to change sides.

I feel all mighty and commanding.

I touch the mark on my arm,

And feel the power there.

I worry about the way the world once was,

And hope it doesn't change back.

I cry when I remember the way,

I once felt about my husband and his ways.

I am powerful and great.

I understand that I made the right decision.

I say that I've never been happier in my life.

I try to use my new powers to serve my lord.

I hope that life will never change.

I am powerful and great.

She looked at her new poem and smiled. After reading it though once more she sighing: 'Hermione Malfoy' to the bottom.

Happy with her work she stood and started to walk towards her home to see what her husband was up to.

                       The End?