The Everlasting Day

3

Fear can hold you prisoner. Hope can set you free.

- The Shawshank Redemption

'Remember that hope is a good thing, Red, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies.'

- Andy Dufresne in 'Rita Hayworth and Shawshank Redemption',

- Stephen King

After almost an hour of soaking, with the water growing cold and his skin beginning to shrivel like a dried fig, Sirius eventually decided that he had better move himself. He couldn't put off the conversation that he knew would be waiting for him downstairs any longer. So, he dragged himself from the tub, dried himself and pulled on the clean clothes and black boots. Sliding his wand into the in-built holster in the belt, he ran a comb through his hair, leaving his longer fringe to fall jaggedly over his eyes. Ariadne had always liked it that way. Another few charms to clean and mend his broken, rotten teeth and he looked almost as good as new. A few pounds in added weight, and maybe the old Sirius really would be back. He just hoped that this would be good enough for her to be able to recognise enough of the man she had once cared so much about...and to help her remember what they had once had together. He had never forgotten. Throughout all those years, all that loneliness, all that hopelessness, he had loved her.

Now, after seeing her again, he realised that his feelings hadn't changed. It wasn't a particularly good place to be, considering everything else that he had to worry about right now, especially if she no longer felt the same. But at least he was safe, comfortable, clean and warm for the moment - as was Beaky. That would just have to be enough for now. Wanting anything more would only open him to pain and he'd enough of that to last two lifetimes.

* * *

When he went back downstairs and through to the cosy little kitchen/dining room, he was amazed to see the effort that Ariadne had gone to for him when she hadn't seemed all that keen on allowing him past the front door a couple of hours ago. The antique-pine cottage table was spread with toast, jams of every possible flavour, butter, sausages, bacon, fried and scrambled eggs, tomatoes, fried potatoes, coffee and fruit juices.

'Ariadne!' he grinned, thinking that this was the culmination of twelve years worth of dreaming of something more than the bread, soup and water that he had lived on in Azkaban. 'I don't know what to say.'

'It's only what I always have for breakfast,' she said with a twinkle in her eye as she looked approvingly at the new, cleaner version of him. She had changed from her witch's robes into a more comfortable - and more Muggle - jeans and a pale blue shirt that was tied at the waist; a gold clip now pinned her long hair away from her face. He swallowed thickly as his gaze darted away from her, stunned into muted awe with how quickly, and how easily, she could still take his breath away. 'Go on, sit down. You look as though you could do with some feeding up.'

'Buckbeak's all right though, isn't he? He's eaten?'

'He's fine,' she reassured him. 'You don't want to know what I gave him to eat, but he'll be okay for a couple of days at least. I cleaned up the old watermill pump house at the edge of the pool and he was curled up in there asleep when I left him.'

'Good...I'm glad. Thank you.'

She waved her hand dismissively. 'He's lovely, it was a pleasure. Such a good-natured animal. So what did he do, that the Ministry's after him?'

'You remember Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy?'

'How could I forget?' she said darkly, leaning back against the sink, folding her arms across her chest. 'He was still strutting around as though he owns the Ministry and everyone in it, the last I heard. Jumped up little...'

'Well, his son takes after him. Thought it would be clever to insult a hippogriff. Buckbeak didn't take kindly to it and responded by taking a chunk out of his arm.'

'Ah,' she nodded, 'and the poor hippogriff got the blame for it.'

'Needless to say, with Lucius' influence at the Ministry, the poor thing never had a chance. Got sentenced to death...' Ariadne took a sharp, horrified little breath, '...but Harry saved him. We both needed to get about as far away from Hogwarts as it's possible to get, so we helped each other out. Beaky saved my life, I saved his and now we're sort of a team, I suppose. He's been just about the best friend I've had these past few weeks. He's been wonderful company.'

'Well, I'm just glad that you're both okay. And that you put one over on Lucius Malfoy. I bet he was spitting sparks.'

'Oh, I really hope so,' Sirius grinned, 'I only wish I could have been there to see it.'

'Come on then, sit down and eat before all this gets cold.'

Satisfied that Buckbeak was happy and settled down, he finally felt able to relax and take some time for himself. And Ariadne. He sat down and piled his plate with just about everything that would fit onto it and started shovelling the food ravenously into his mouth. Ariadne smiled as she watched him, probably glad to see that her culinary magical skills were being very much appreciated. They spoke very little while they ate, content with each other's company and the silence between them, broken only by the muted music in the background from the enchanted radio that stood on the old Welsh-style dresser behind them.

When they were finished, Ariadne waved her wand over the sink to start the washing up and then over the percolator, which immediately began to hiss and smoke as it made more coffee.

'That was wonderful,' Sirius said gratefully, leaning back into the creaking wooden chair as the dishes clattered in the background. 'I don't think I've eaten so well in...god...thirteen years. Such a long time when you say it, isn't it?' he added dejectedly.

She smiled sadly, shaking her head as she looked at him. Her own private pains endured through those years accumulated to cross her face like a dark rain cloud passing the sun on the brightest of summer's days. 'I never stopped thinking about you, you know,' she said quietly, her fingers absently following the swirls of the knots in the wooden table. 'Actually, I can't remember a moment when I didn't think about you...how you were coping. Silly little things really...if you were eating properly...if you were warm enough...if you were sleeping...if the Dementors really were as bad as everyone said they were. It came close to breaking my heart to see that look on your face the last time I saw you...knowing that it was the last time.' She laughed softly, although there was no humour in it, 'I cried for so long after I got home. I don't think I ever felt your absence more acutely than I did then.'

He nodded somewhat sullenly, his gaze dropping to his empty plate, unsure of the feelings that were being stirred by her declaration. It had been so long since he'd felt anything but anxiety, fear and loneliness.

'I know that it can't have been easy for you, Sirius. I really did try my best to get someone...anyone...to listen to me. Even Remus treated me like I was something he'd scraped off the bottom of a cauldron, but I kept trying for as long as I...'

'I know, he said softly. 'It's all right.'

'No, it's not. It's far from all right. What you've been through is more than anyone ever has a right to expect. They didn't even give you a chance to defend yourself in a trial. It was barbaric...just...insane...and it has been so damn frustrating trying to get someone to see beyond the circumstantial claptrap that the Ministry drummed up against you. Lies and half truths and...'

He could hear the suffering in her voice and it was more than he could bear to listen to it. 'I have nothing but the deepest of admiration and gratitude for everything you tried to do for me, Ariadne,' he said softly. 'I know I didn't deserve it, just taking off the way I did with no reason or excuse. You have nothing to reproach yourself for and you certainly don't have to offer me explanations. I understand how bad things have been for you. I wish I could have done something to save you from it.'

She sighed as she poured herself more coffee and slowly raised the cup to her lips. 'I did it because I wanted to. Because I believed in you. It...it hurt, Sirius...it really did...to see you so lost, so frightened. Even now, even after everything I've put up with, I don't regret it - not for a single second - and I'd do it all over again because I know that whatever hardships I've endured are nothing compared to what you must have been through.' She reached across the table and grasped his hand, tenderly rubbing her thumb back and forth over his roughened skin, 'I am so sorry that I wasn't more welcoming when you came here and I'm sorry that I asked you to leave. I'm glad you're here, Sirius.'

He was afraid to respond for fear that the emotions choking at the back of his throat might break out. His eyes had filled with tears and he blinked them back as he turned his hand over beneath hers and gripped her fingers tightly, raising them to his lips and kissing them softly.

'I've missed you so much,' she said brokenly, moving to a chair beside him, bringing her other hand to his cheek, gently caressing his face. 'When I heard that you'd broken out, I kept hoping that maybe you would come. I waited and waited...'

'I wanted to come,' he murmured as he lost the battle with his tears and he felt them slipping, warm and unchecked, over his cheeks, 'I really did...but I was so afraid for Harry. I had to protect him. When I heard that Voldemort had made two attempts already to come back and that Pettigrew was hiding so close, in such a dangerous position for him to attack...'

'I know. I understand. You did what you had to do, Sirius. I don't reproach you for it, of course I don't. I just wish I'd known, that's all. I could have helped you. Maybe I could have gone to Dumbledore and explained...or to Harry...even to Remus...I would have done anything for you.'

'I didn't want you to be hurt anymore than you already had been because of me. I didn't want to involve you again.' He looked up at her, into her eyes as her fingers moved from his face to his hair and around to the back of his neck. 'I didn't know what to expect when I broke out. I wasn't even thinking properly. Besides...if anything had happened to you...'

'What about if anything had happened to you, huh? What do you think Harry and I would have done then? If you'd...no one would ever have known that you were innocent. The hope that one day I might see you again would have been lost and...'

He had no reply to give so he merely bowed his head and closed his eyes, tears still streaming down his face as he gripped her fingers tighter, holding them up to his cheek.

'I still love you, Sirius,' she whispered, leaning towards him, kissing his forehead.

Embarrassed by her own tears, she pulled him to his feet, drawing him close and holding him so tightly, as though she were afraid he would disappear if she let him go.

It was the first time in as long as he could remember that he had felt the warmth and comfort of human contact and it felt like the first drops of rain on the hottest of summer days. To have someone hold him so tenderly, to feel her breath against his skin as she nestled her head into his shoulder...it was more than he could ever have dreamed of and he found his arms slipping around her too, holding her just as tightly as he sobbed with grief at so much lost time, with regret for so many things left unsaid, with the deep yearning and intense need for her...an unbearable ache that he had lived with for far too long.

He closed his eyes and squeezed her tighter, pressing his lips to the hollow of her shoulder. 'I still love you too, Ariadne,' he breathed, his fingers moving beneath her shirt to the peach-soft skin of her back, 'and I've missed you. So very, very much.'

He pulled back from her briefly and just looked at her, gazed at her, as though she were a perfect thing - a sunrise, an unfolding flower...freedom. 'You are so beautiful,' he said breathlessly as he leaned forward, gently pushing the loose strands of her hair back from her face before he tentatively touched her lips with his. She responded to him instantly, pulling him closer, tighter, teasing his tongue with hers as he pressed harder against her. His hands moved upwards beneath her shirt, over her back, her hips and her waist, exploring her, savouring the beauty and the wonder of her; the depth, meaning and wonderful warmth that such contact with another human being could bring...someone whom he had loved for so very long...someone who still loved him too. Even after everything.

'Come on,' she whispered when they eventually broke apart, taking his hand and guiding him towards the stairs. He followed her silently, aching and burning with the anticipation of what was to come. He wanted her, he needed her, but part of him was also beginning to feel the pinch of fear again. It had been a long time since he had even spent so much time in another's company, let alone anything like this. He was desperately worried about disappointing her or hurting her again, especially when his world was as uncertain now as it had ever been.

Perhaps he had been wrong to come here. He had been selfish, putting his own needs above hers...

'You will stay, won't you?' she asked tentatively as they climbed the stairs, as though somehow she could detect something of his thoughts. She stopped him outside the bedroom. 'Because I don't think I could do this and lose you again, Sirius.'

He just smiled in response as he pushed the door open for her, guiding her towards the four-poster bed in silence. He laid her down on top of the heavy tapestry covers and kissed her deeply, his fingers working on the buttons of her shirt. 'I'm not going anywhere without you, Ariadne,' he murmured between kisses, 'and I won't let anyone hurt us again.'

She slipped free of her shirt and interlaced her fingers with his as he started dusting kisses along her collarbone towards the hollow of her neck. 'Is that a promise?'

'Yeah,' he sighed, brushing the back of his fingers along the side of her face. 'It's far more than a promise.'

Ariadne smiled as she reached for him, gently caressing his cheek, encouraging him closer to her lips that were hungry for him again. 'Then let's not waste any more time with words. We have thirteen years to make up for.'

* * *

It was late afternoon before Sirius came down to check on Buckbeak. He'd been feeling a little guilty for leaving the best friend he'd had in years alone for so long. He needn't have worried. Buckbeak was perfectly happy in the pump house and was still fast asleep, surrounded by the bloody remnants of whatever it was Ariadne had given him. It had been weeks since Beaky had had a decent meal, so it was no wonder that he was still asleep - the poor thing was probably exhausted after the past few weeks. Sirius smiled, relieved that his unintentional neglect hadn't been noticed and went back into the house, crept upstairs quietly to avoid waking Ariadne and retrieved his prison rags from the bathroom. He took them back downstairs and piled them together on the garden path, pointed his wand at them and said, 'Incendio.'

The satisfaction he felt as he watched the flames lick those clothes and vaporise them into smoke was almost comparable to having escaped from Azkaban in the first place. He sat down on the large slab of Welsh slate that formed the front doorstep as the flames finally died down, enjoying the fresh air and the golden glint of sunlight on the lake through the trees, the taste of freedom and something else that he hadn't felt in such a long time.

Happiness.

He heard Ariadne descending the stairs behind him and turned to see her as she was tying the belt across her silken dressing gown. She smiled when her eyes caught his and took his hand as he reached for her. He pulled her down beside him, slipping his arms around her waist and pushing a kiss into her hair as she leaned against him.

'I was wondering where you'd gone,' she said softly, 'I didn't hear you getting up. Got yourself a nice fire going though, I see. Your prison clothes?'

'Yeah...best thing for them,' he muttered, his hand moving slowly over her back and up into her hair. 'I just needed some air and I didn't want to disturb you. I couldn't sleep. I still feel a bit claustrophobic indoors sometimes. Panicky...you know...feel the walls closing in around me.'

Ariadne nodded, lifting Sirius' free hand into hers, entwining her fingers around his. 'It's going to take some time. You have to be patient with yourself.'

'I'm not a patient man,' he sighed. 'I suppose I should be, all the practise I've had. But I've done my waiting. I want my life back, Ariadne. I need it...for us, for Harry. I have to find Pettigrew. That scheming, underhanded little virus is the reason that Lily and James are dead and he's going to pay for what he's done. It's the only way we can get back everything that was taken from us. He's the one piece of evidence that can prove I'm innocent and I can't let him go. I won't.'

'No-one can understand how you feel more than I do, but I really think you should take some time. You need to get used to life out here again, doing things as you want to, when you want to...you know. Pettigrew has in all likelihood gone into hiding now and you're not in a position to go looking for him and you have to understand that you can't just go charging about, hurling accusations without some kind of substantial evidence and even then, I don't think that you are the best person to go presenting it. No one is going to listen to you, Sirius. Hell, I doubt whether anyone would listen to me either.'

'They'd listen to Dumbledore though, wouldn't they?' The words were pitchy and desperate, his fingers gripping hers almost painfully. 'He promised me when I spoke to him that he would try to do what he could. They have to listen to someone, Ariadne. Or there's no point to anything, is there? Why did I risk everything? Why do I even bother trying to hope that there might be some way...'

'Hey now,' she said softly, soothingly, turning to him as she reached up to caress his face, 'there's no place here for defeatism. You and me...we have something that's worth fighting for, Sirius. We always did. And as you said, Harry needs some stability in his life too and I know that we could give him that. It would be the least we could do for Lily and James now. All I meant was that we have to be careful how we go about this, that's all. And I think I might have an idea. You're not going to like it, but I think it's the best chance we have.'

He blinked slowly and sighed, glancing upwards through the gap in the trees to the pale blue sky above them. Sunlight dappled her face and shifted over the whispering grass around them like gently rippling water. It had been so long since he'd been this happy...he had tasted it now...he had experienced just a touch of what his life could be. He couldn't let fear hold him back now. He'd come too far.

'Let's hear it then.'

* * *

'You're absolutely sure about this, are you? You really think that this is the only way?'

Sirius was leaning against the corner of her wardrobe with folded arms as she gathered together some of her clothes into a travelling case that seemed too small for everything she was trying to put into it.

'I'm as sure as I can be,' she replied distractedly, holding up a set of purple and black robes, deciding eventually on the black. 'I wouldn't have suggested it if I didn't think I could pull it off. I'm halfway there by most people's standards anyway.'

'That's not the point and I think you know that. Ari, sweetheart, I think you've been here alone for too long. Just because Voldemort is weak now, that doesn't mean that...'

'Look, just hand me that make-up box over there.'

Sirius rolled his eyes and sighed, but passed her the matchbox-sized shiny black case from her dressing table.

'Ariadne, I'm worried about you. I don't think this is a risk you should be taking.'

She closed the case, stubbornly ignoring him as she muttered, 'Locomotor Trunk,' to move it downstairs.

'Ariadne...please...' he persisted all the way down the stairs and into the hallway.

She dropped the case to the floor, glanced at her reflection in the mirror and said, 'Sursum,' as she tapped her hair with her wand. Her tangle of jet-black hair became sleek and glossy, twisting itself up into a neat French roll. 'There. Much better.'

'Ariadne, can't we think about this again? There has to be...'

She turned around and silenced him with a finger against his lips. He sighed, his shoulders sagging in defeat against her indefatigable resolution.

'You just need to take care of yourself and Buckbeak. You'll both be fine here. I've placed a disillusionment enchantment on the house and the garden up to the watermill. As long as you stay within its borders, you'll both be safe. You have your wand, so you'll be alright for food and everything else that you or Buckbeak might need...'

'Except you.'

Ariadne face softened as her fingers moved from his lips over his jaw line, through his hair and around to the back of his neck.

'You're still too damned handsome for your own good, you know,' she smiled as she pulled him close and kissed him.

His arms moved around her waist and he kissed her back as though he would never see her again.

'Don't go,' he whispered when they broke apart, leaning forward so his forehead was touching hers, 'Please. This is silly and dangerous. You don't even really know them anymore. There has to be another way.'

'There isn't. I've already considered everything else. You and I both know that Pettigrew will never show himself otherwise. I have to, Sirius,' she replied softly, but there was something in her tone that betrayed her doubts. 'Just promise me that you'll stay here.'

'I will.'

'That's not good enough. I know you, I know how much you hate being pinned down. I mean it, Sirius. For this to work, you must stay here. If you promise me, I know you won't break your word. No Marauder nonsense, no animagus tricks either because Pettigrew would have told You-Know-Who by now...it is imperative that you stay here. I know it's like being locked up again, but this has to be better than Azkaban, doesn't it?'

'Of course it is. All right,' he sighed reluctantly, 'I promise.'

She closed her eyes in relief as he pulled her close again, nestling her head against his chest as he moved his hand from her back up into her hair.

'But if you get into any kind of trouble, you walk, do you hear me? Contact either Dumbledore or Remus - he should be back at his place on Dartmoor by now. I know you've quarrelled, but he won't hesitate to help you. They'll be the only ones you can trust. They'll watch out for you and protect you, as I can't leave the house, if anything should go wrong, but I would like you to let me know what's happening, okay? Under no circumstances should you go to your brother. You promise me.'

'Okay,' she smiled, hugging him a little harder, 'I suppose that's only fair. What makes you think I'd want to talk to him anyway? He couldn't even bring himself to look at me the last time we met.'

'Ooh...I don't know,' he grinned, although she couldn't see him. 'Maybe it's because you seem to have a soft spot for men who are about as popular as a Venomous Tentacular.'

'Correction. Only the cute ones who are as popular as a Venomous Tentacular. And anyway, he's my brother, so I wouldn't worry if I were you.'

Sirius laughed and pressed a kiss to the top of her head as she moved back from him.

'I love you, Sirius Black,' she said, meeting his eyes.

'I love you too, Ari. You take care of yourself.'

She nodded, her eyes suddenly shimmering as she caressed his face one last time before she turned away, not wanting to prolong the agony anymore. She quickly bewitched her trunk again and put her wand away in a holster beneath her flowing robes.

There was a crack like a whip as she apparated and then, she was gone.