Her Broken Dreams.

Her Broken Dreams.

By Arianrhod.

Sirius stopped about three paces from Narcissa's door, wondering what the hell he thought he was doing. Did he really think it would do any good? To be honest the answer was no, but he felt he had to at least try.

The door was open showing a spacious room with large windows. There was a bed hung with white silk curtains and next to it an elegant dressing table at which a pretty woman was seated.

She had her back to him and was frowning into a mirror as she attempted to tease her blonde hair into neat curls using her wand. She didn't turn around, only frowned at his reflection as he draped himself against the door jamb.

"What do you want?"

He didn't answer immediately, instead he scrutinised his nails and smoothed his dress robes. They were his mother's favourite, black velvet with silver embroidery around the cuffs and collar. He hated them because to him they represented her completely, even the colour reminded him of his name, and of his blood.

Finally he said, "You're getting married."

"Yes, Sirius. I am."

"To Lucius Malfoy."

"Yes, I'm quiet aware of the name of my fiancée, Sirius. Now if that's all you came to say..." She'd lost interest already.

"Do you- Are you satisfied?" He'd been about to ask if she loved him but then he'd realised that was foolish. Blacks didn't marry for love, they married for power. "Are you happy?" he continued. "Happy being everything they want you to be, everything they've conditioned you to be." He saw he flinch slightly at that word and was glad. "You and Andromeda used to say-"

"There isn't an Andromeda and I any more," she cut him off. "It doesn't matter what we used to say, we were young and we were wrong." She had gotten to her feet and stood trembling yet defiant. Then she lowered her eyes. "I think it would be better if you left now. Mother won't be happy if she hears you've been talking about Andromeda again."

"You don't have to marry him, Andromeda said no."

"And look where that got her, a Mudblood husband and a crummy cottage." Narcissa sneered delicately. How had she changed so much from when they'd been children?

Sirius resisted the urge to hit her.

"As I remember, Andromeda said that a life with a poor man she loved was far preferable to a life with Lucius even if he was rich. In fact it was particularly preferable since the family were against it."

Narcissa was white now, two spots of colour flared on her high cheek bones. She was furious.

"How dare you say that! How dare you stand there and calmly insult not only our family but my future husband!" Her arm came up fast, delivering him a ringing crack across the cheek. He felt the colour rise where her hand had been and didn't care.

"Narcissa, please -"

"No, Sirius. Did you think I'd throw everything away just because my sister did? She was a fool. I want to marry into society. Lucius has money, position, land. He's raising man in the right circles, if you have the right views."

"You mean if you don't mind the Dark Arts."

For a moment her face softened slightly before she schooled it into careful stillness. But even she couldn't hide the sadness in her eyes as she said, "I'm sorry, Sirius. I'm not like you, I'm not a goody Gryffindor, I haven't got brains or skill. All I have is my looks and Slytherin ambition, Lucius wants me for both." She saw the expression on his face and said, "Yes, I said wants, not loves. I don't need love, Sirius, and Lucius has never said that he'll give it to me. What he can give me is comfort. He can take me from a declining, old-fashioned family into the centre of polite society. He's a better catch then even Bellatrix made."

She didn't apologise again. There was no point. That last phrase summed it up. She was an ignored youngest child who had discovered that she had the means to upstage her two older sisters. It didn't matter that in the process she'd steamrolled all the dreams they'd had as children, dreams of the three of them escaping the family. Dreams of being free. Dreams probably didn't matter to her anymore, but they mattered to him.

"Goodbye, Narcissa Malfoy," he said coldly. And he turned and left, ignoring the unshed tears in her eyes. She might be trapped in the family now but he didn't mean to be. Andromeda was free, he'd be like her.

And he went downstairs, leaving by the front door, still in his dress robes. No-one noticed. Last minute preparations for the engagement dinner party were still in full swing. No-one even noticed when the Knight Bus stopped and then left with its usual thunder-clap. They didn't notice until he sent them an owl later that night. But by that time Sirius didn't care. He was with James now, defying them simply by existing.