Harry Potter and the Latin Class from Hell

Scene: A coffee shop belonging to a large chain which I can't name for copyright reasons. A small table covered with numerous empty coffee mugs, and a notebook with different coloured writing in it...

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"... and now she knows about the phone box fun on holiday! I'm dead!"

"Yeah, ok, but I'm MUCH more interested in what happened with - They're listening!"

"What... How much did you hear?! It was all lies! Lies I tell you, LIES!!!"

"Whatever, Vicky. They don't care. Now, for something completely different, another chapter! In this one (as the title implies) a bit of relevant stuff and a load of random stuff happens, including:

Vicky hitting on Harry,

Aimie hitting Vicky,

(Very) Dodgy innuendoes,

Vicky hitting on Harry,

Violence,

Confrontations,

Oh, and Vicky hits on Harry!

Muttermuttermuttermuttersonofamuttermutter...

Enjoy!

And forget everything I said at the beginning! It wasn't me! It was my clone! The attack of my clone!!!

I HATE that film! Don't refer to it!

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It was a while later, and the travelers from afar (well, Surrey) had reached the castle and had ambulated their way to Dumbledore's office.

Hermione, being a prefect, knew the password (acid pop!), and everyone followed her up the spiral staircase to the study. (A/N: Isn't Harry with us?)

(A/N: S-T-U-D-Y, not S-T-U-D-L-Y. Idiot.)

Dumbledore wasn't in the office, but there were several loud odd-sounding thuds coming from a large cupboard in the corner. Dumbledore subsequently appeared and slammed the cupboard door swiftly shut. He looked slightly flustered.

Deejay opened his mouth to say something, but was muffled by the large pile of Latin students that had dived on top of him. They knew his mind far too well.

Dragging his eyes away from the exhibition on the floor, Harry explained about finding the rest of the Latin class.

Pulling herself from the pile of tangled limbs, Vicky added enthusiastically "Yes! Harry rescued me! My hero!", and draped herself joyfully over him.

"Yeah, and everybody else in the magical world's hero as well, Vicky, get over it," said Aimie, as she attempted to scramble out from underneath John. (A/N: Ooer! With Manda's boyfriend too!)

"Well!" said Dumbledore, who seemed himself once more. "You seem to have rescued everyone except your teacher. Ah...was that intentional, an oversight or due to technical difficulties?"

All eyes turned to Aimie, who was still sprawled rather ungracefully on the office floor. She shook her head slowly.

"I couldn't sense him anywhere. Also it was getting dark. So we just came back here. Do you want me to try again?"

"I think that would be wise," replied the headmaster.

So, not one to argue, she sat up and took a deep breath. She tried to picture the teacher's face, and call upon the power of the amulet. Then she stopped and let the breath out again, as her vision was starting to go a little spotty. Trying again, she held out the necklace, and gazed into the stone.

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(A/N: Since this fic has so far not been very canon-centric so far, I will now tell some of it from Harry's point of view. Will probably switch back very quickly, but hey, it's the thought that counts!)

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Harry watched with some trepidation as Aimie started sending herself into some sort of trance. Hermione dug her (A/N: *Opens mouth* NO!!!) elbow into his (A/N: *Opens mouth again* Just try it!) arm.

"Harry, it's a quarter past five! We've been gone all night! I don't know how we're going to explain this to the others in our year! You know they'll want us to tell where we've been, and we can't!"

"Why not?" asked Harry, that dear, straightforward-minded soul.

"Because those amulets are extremely rare! We can't let anyone know that a schoolgirl has one! The ministry will go crazy!" replied Hermione, the evil over-user of exclamation marks. "All our dorm-mates will want know where we've been!"

"Dean, Seamus and Neville won't," put in Ron. "They've all thought that Harry and I are having a mad secret love affair since second year."

(A/N: *re-reads last sentence* Did I really just write that? *Shrugs* Ah well.)

A loud crash sounded from the cupboard in the corner. Unable to stop himself, Harry asked, "Er...what's in there, Professor?"

"A stray boggart. I was about to dispatch it when you arrived,"

A look of relieved comprehension dawned on numerous faces around the room, mixed in places with slight disappointment.

Aimie suddenly screamed, and clutched her forehead. Her knees collapsed underneath her, and she fell to the floor.

(A/N: She's down there again! She been spending a lot of time on the floor recently? Hi Emily. Now go away, this is my story.)

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A dark forest surrounding a mountain... A fortress built from black stone... Walls shimmering with enchantments... A window, impossible to see through... a small cell... chains... black-robed figures... red eyes whispering threats and questions... (A/N: Bloody hell, get on with it! Sorry, nearly done!) Confusion, fear...

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Aimie was lying still, unconscious for the second time that day. Dumbledore had picked up her wrist and was checking her pulse. "I think we ought to give Madam Pomfrey a call. Miss Granger, would you be so kind?"

"Of course, Professor," replied Hermione, looking glad to get out of the room.

"Blimey," whispered Ron. "That was... unusual."

"Ow," Aimie mumbled, somewhat indistinctly. Vicky patted her on the shoulder.

"Um... you'll be fine... I should think. Just... carry on sitting still. Deejay, can you get her a drink of water?"

(A/N: See, I care about my friends! *Cough* Er... I was using a little poetic license there, actually. *Laughter* *Glares*)

"From where?"

"There's a water fountain over there, Mr. LeClaire."

"Thanks Professor D."

"Professor D?!" asked Harry, the Boy Who Was Easily Scandalized.

Deejay filled up a glass of water, walked over to the girls, and splashed Aimie in the face with it. She smacked him in the face, while a highly irritated Vicky shouted; "I said a DRINK of water!"

"But...but... Aimie, OW! Stoppit! That's what you're supposed to do when someone's fainted!" he defended.

"Not AFTER they regain consciousness, you twit!" said Manda.

Let us briefly leave this scene of headaches, confusion and general dampness, and take a look at what the more normal muggles are up to. Aimie, Vicky and Manda were meant to meet friends, failed to, and also, in an earth-shattering breakthrough, all three had apparently turned off their mobiles! Now they KNEW something was wrong...

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"Any new messages, Emily?" asked Verity.

"Nope. How are you doing with the tracking, Louise?"

Louise looked up from her laptop. "What? Oh...I thought I had it, but then I lost it a couple of minutes ago,"

(A/N: I said the story line was unlikely! Though this is Louise we're talking about...)

"Well, where could they go where phones have no reception? Where were they when you lost them?"

"Scotland."

"Sorry?"

"What?!"

"WHAT?!"

"Mmm? Sorry?" Harri looked up from her mobile. "Didn't get any of that, had a message."

"You got a message?! Why didn't you tell us?"

"Not from them. It's from Boris. I have to go and meet him now, see you." She exited.

Emily looked slightly disgruntled. "Six of her friends and her twin brother are missing, but her boyfriend's still more important," (A/N: Her twin brother being Deejay - poor girl.)

"She can't help being an airhead," said Anna with the comfortable security of one who was not. They were all sitting in a very familiar coffee shop, drinking frappaccinos "What can we do? If they're out of range of a phone receiver, Louise can't track them."

"I guess we'll just have to keep on trying," replied Verity dismally. "This looks like it's gonna be a long evening. Someone order espressos."

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"...And this is the Quidditch pitch." Harry, Ron and Hermione had just finished giving the Latin students the highlights tour of Hogwarts.

"Oh great. As you can see, the Slytherins are being given lessons in '101 ways to cheat during a match and get away with it.'" Ron had managed to pick out the Slytherin team who were remarkable well camouflaged against the grassy pitch in their green robes.

"Do they often get away with it?" asked Deejay. "If so, it may be worth us listening in,"

"Oh look. Gryffindor spies," Draco Malfoy, epitome of all the worst aspects of Slytherin, had spotted them. "What do you think you're doing, Potter? And who...or what are these?" He said, noticing the crowd of unusually clad people.

"None of your business," said Harry. Vicky looked like she might faint at his tough, confrontational, manly attitude. (A/N: Her words - not mine.)

"I think it is, if students are wandering around not dressed in the correct uniform. I am a prefect, and as such, have to uphold the rules," he replied with a smirk.

"So is Hermione," said Ron.

"Dear me, Weasley, you really do get slower by the minute, don't you? Granger...is...not...here...right...now," the Slytherin replied, slowly and loudly.

Harry glanced over his shoulder. Malfoy was correct, Hermione wasn't there. He mentally kicked himself. Of course... she was staying in the hospital wing with Aimie.

"They don't go to this school. We have permission from Dumbledore to show them around."

However, Malfoy had stopped listening, and was looking over at the stands.

"Look, Weasley, there...is...Granger. Shows how much you two really appreciate her; don't even notice whether she's there or not. Not that that mudblood's really worth noticing, but you'd think that you two would, as you pretend to be friends with her."

Hermione had arrived just in time to hear the last sentence and went red. Ron went an interesting shade of purple. Harry grabbed Malfoy by the arm ("Get your filthy, working-class hands off me, Potter!") and dragged him away from the others and behind the stands.

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I am now going to switch back to Aimie's POV, for reasons which will become obvious in a minute.

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Aimie glanced at Vicky, and with a quick "Wait here!" to the others, they followed Malfoy and Harry. They couldn't quite make out all that was being said, and consequentially throughout, Aimie's eyebrows rose higher and higher up her forehead.

"You just...get it, Potter!...watch it, Malfoy!...Ow. Ow! That really hurts, you git! ... mumble.... bloody great..... really big broomstick.....mumble....teach... mutter... mumble...shove it up.......muttermumblemumble......just shut up and...."

Vicky flopped to the floor. Her face was a picture of misery.

"Why didn't anyone tell me?" she whimpered. "I mean...Malfoy? He preferred Malfoy over me? I just...." She burst into tears, getting the attention of the two boys. Malfoy rolled his eyes.

"No need to cry, girl, Potter hasn't disfigured me. I'm fine, and my looks are intact. Potter couldn't hurt a fly even if it was helpless and completely at his mercy. And believe me, that is very easy,"

"HARRY! HOW COULD YOU.....Um...I mean to say..." Vicky trailed off, uncertainly.

Aimie, grinning maniacally, explained. "We could only hear certain parts of your...conversation, and I think poor Vicky misunderstood the... Er... situation."

She waited patiently until her meaning dawned upon them. Malfoy, used to this sort of innuendo, got it first.

"Oh, that is just...Oh gods, no. No! Urgh, you are sick, twisted... Out of my way, I must purge this unclean image...agh!"

He ran off. Poor, innocent Harry still hadn't got it. Vicky was still recovering from her shock, and Aimie decided that 'The Talk' would have to wait for another time.

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Much later that day, Aimie sat on the bed in one of the spare rooms in Gryffindor Tower, which had magically appeared, examining a map of the tower. Manda stuck her head through the door.

"'Night Aimz. What's that?"

"Map of the tower. I wrote down which rooms we're all in. Here," She passed over the map.

"Impressive... Aimie."

"Mmm?"

"You put Vicky in the room next to the fifth year boy's dormitory?!"

Aimie glanced up. "I did. Never let it be said that I am not insane, evil and sadistic." And she smiled. Tomorrow morning was going to be...interesting.

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Now then. There are many glaring inconsistencies in this chapter, which (believe it or not) ARE explainable. However, in the original version of this, I put the explanation in the next chapter, and there it will remain. But anyway, another chapter finished!

And I actually appear in this one!

Briefly.

Shh. Let Emily have her moment of glory, Vicky.

Ok.

*All three wander off into a lonely alleyway, and vanish in the unrealistically thick mist.*