Snogging

"Severus, you're being idiotic."

"I most certainly am not. You're just an over-excitable Gryffindor with no patience."

"I... well, yeah. But you're still being idiotic. You spent four hours getting dressed for an event you claim that you don't want to be at, just so that you can walk in, sit down, grumble, and hope that he'll look at you. That is the very definition of idiotic. You're acting like... well, like me! And that, my dear Severus, is unacceptable."

"....."

"Aha! You can't deny it!"

"I most certainly can. I simply think that your observations are so painfully off the mark that they do not merit a reply. I spent that time getting prepared so that Minerva would not nag me, and because Mi--Mrs.--Granger would surely throw a fit, me coming to her wedding dressed poorly, and Mi--Mrs.--Granger in a fit is not a good thing. I do not want to be here, but I am obligated because of Albus' insane notion that I somehow hold a fondness for my ex-students."

"You hold a fondness for me!"

"Miss Weasley, I tolerate you because you are my apprentice, and I have no choice. I could list my reasons to dislike you, but that would be entirely pointless, so, if you don't mind, I shall now beg you to be gone, as you are becoming severely annoying."

"Severus, you're being idiotic. Just go snog him already! I mean, we all know he's gay, and you're... sort of gay... and you want to snog him, just go already. The worst that'll happen is him cursing you until your balls fall off--and really, what's the use of having them if you don't use--"

"That is quite enough out of you, Miss Weasley. You wouldn't know, anyways."

"Sev, I live one very flimsy wall away. You haven't gotten laid in... decades, I'll bet. And he needs a bit of fun. Go snog him, dammit!"

"Honestly, Ginevra, I haven't the faintest idea what you mean."

"Well, Sev, I am sure that if I just call a certain Savior of the World over here and ask him--"

"Be silent, Miss Weasley, for once in your life, shut your inane babble and get your nose out of my business!"

"Oh come on, why the hell not?"

"For reasons that are beyond you to a minute extent. Be gone, you annoying wretch."

"Oh, look, here he comes now! Harry! Hey, Harry!"

"Miss Weasley!"

"Hey Gin. What's up?"

"Harry, Severus wants to--"

"Silenco!"

"Snape! That was mean!"

"But incredibly necessary. It was either silence her before she spoke, or kill her after."

"Er... okay then... I'll just be on my--oof! Ginny! Sitting on me is not okay."

"......!!!!.......!!!!"

"What?"

"Potter, she's been silenced."

"I noticed. Take it off."

"Wha--oh! Right. No."

"Snape..."

"....!! .....!!!!!!...!!!"

"Now!!!"

"Fine, you insubordinate ninny. Finite Incantatum!"

"Thank you."

"You bastard! Don't you try to silence me!"

"I do not regret my action, Miss Weasley. And take care to refrain from such uncouth language in my presence."

"I most certainly will not! And just for that--oh, right, sorry Harry. I had to sit on you, otherwise he never would have--oh, well, right, sorry."

"That's okay, Gin..."

"Right, but what I was going to say is that--"

"Ginny!"

"--Oh, Neville, this is a bad time--"

"But Ginny, I want you to meet--"

"Neville! I'm trying to tell Harry that Snape wants to snog him!"

"You just did."

"Ooops."

"Severus?"

"Potter?"

"Severus."

"Potter."

"Severus!"

"Potter!"

"Dammit, somebody say my name!"

"Sorry... Ginny! Happy now?"

"Yes."

"Good."

"Potter..."

"Is it true?"

"Is what true?"

"What Gin said... about the snogging..."

"Miss Weasley's barely intelligible babble was accurate, yes."

"...Oh."

"... Ginny, I want you to meet--"

"Shut up Neville, I want to watch them snog."

"Eww."

"Severus?"

"Yes?"

"I want to snog you too."

"That's...oh...mmph!"

"Ginny, I want you to meet--"

"Neville, I told you I wanted to watch, and I need a camera."

"Eww."

"Shut up."

"But I want you to meet my boyfriend!"

"Do you snog?"

"You're really quite perverted, aren't you?"

"Yes."

"Oh. Okay then."

~FIN~