Once Upon a Doodah

Long ago, in a chat room far away, Nostry asked for suggestions on how to have a little fun with grammar. Jo (and Gil!) had the wonderfully brilliant idea to create a fic with at least one made-up word in every sentence. A monster was born.

Fic By Jo , Rena , and Someisa ; with kibbitzing and the occasional line from Nostrademons , Gileonnen , and Akane . Edited by Wolf of Solitude and beta-read by Nostrademons.

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Once upon a doodah, Harry Potter was sproinking.

"Hey, Harry!" said Ron, floobling up the staircase sprorkishly.

Harry jumped out of bed and glomped Ron, and then flerbled and fell in a sprat. "Squeee!" he said manically, as he shevened away from the lalie.

Ron fwumped on the ground. "Mehhhh!"

Draco shibbied into the hizouse.

Ron pouted. "Owie!" he said smorkishly, "You hurt my wahoonie."

Harry shrugged and schnoogled Ron. "I'm sowwy."

Ron snerked. "No you're not! You just want to confuzzle me!"

(Draco wanted a schnoogle too, but everyone thought he was squicky...except for Persy, who gladly schnoogled him.)

So Hermione thwapped them all over the head with her bookbag and dragged them off to breakfast, where Neville gladly shwepped everyone. When Harry sat down at the table, he felt a warm fuzzy feeling coming over him. Meanwhile, Persy was busy schnoogling Draco, whom she hearted almost as much as Yen hearts MoM.

Suddenly Voldemort burst through the front doors. "Smeg you all!" he snivelled. "All I ever wanted was a schnoogle!"

Harry's warm fuzzies scurried out of the room. "Er..." he said hesitantly, "I'll give you a schnug...?"

Voldemort sproinked over to Harry. "Really?" he asked. Harry blebbled. Voldemort schnugged Harry squickily. Ron and Hermione fwoobled.

"I'll save you all!" Neville gallumphed in with a huge schwingy thing in his hands. Voldemort stared at the schwingy thing.

Draco paused. "We...don't need saving, poopie-head."

Neville wibbled a bit. "But...you're my woobie!"

Voldemort's jaw dropped. "You asshat!" he screamed at Neville, "You said you were all mine!"

Neville merpled. "Um..."

Harry snerked. "Look, you guys. I'll take Neville, and you two can go off together."

Voldemort smorked. "But I heart you too, Harry!"

Draco thought for a moment. "Mer. What happens to Hermione?"

Harry's eyes glowed. "Hermione?" he said threateningly, "You even touch Hermione and I'll pip you!"

Hermione and Ron gargled from the floor. Harry knelt down next to Hermione and gave her a schnuggle. "It's going to be fine, my schnookums," he said to her.

Hermione regained enough of her senses to thwap Harry gently. "But...I heart Ron!"

"MECKLE!" shouted Dumbledore as he stormed into the hall, his staff behind him twanging their musical instruments.

McGonagall stepped up with her guitar. "I *twang* love *twangity twang* youuuuu...."

Snape stepped up next, with his bass clarinet, singing, "Be by schnookiewoodiedoodglelum day!" with Binns and Sprout in the background.

Ron wibbled, ignoring the teachers. "But I love NEVILLE, Hermione..." he said while singing "Mergle goes the fwerblemon!"

Neville parped. Then he marped. Hermione fwoobled and flarped, and then karped, all while Harry mobbled and Ron dobbled. Professor Sinistra stepped up doing a good imitation of an air-guitar. "Baby you can drive my car! (meep meep)"

Suddenly, Professor Vector came up, and yelled, "LINKS ZWODREIVIER!"

Harry snarfled at him and yelled back "Baise moi!"

Ron schnuggled Neville while no one was looking and Neville, too, fwoobled.

"Garglefloop," mweebled Voldemort, and disappeared in a pouf of schmork.

Then in a Krupseish sort of way, Tom appeared in Voldemort's scmork. Draco smorfed happily at Tom. "What the frell am I doing in Voldemort's schmork?"

But Tom larglled at Draco. Draco snogged Tom!

Suddenly, a Klitsickallen way, a boxer blarbled into the trendigious room. "Schnergflippers!" squealed Hermione. Professor Flitwick snogged the boxer for no apparent schmork. The boxer rembled at Flitwick.

"You asshat!" the boxer yelped.

"You grassmat!" replied Flitwick.

"You blerper!" the boxer snarked.

"You schnooglable schmork!" said Flitwick.

"You magidiously prodigious very badly dobbled doink!" said the boxer.

Suddenly, a group of arckledibblers landed on the front lawns. "We come in pieces," they twerped.

Harry left the melee inside and ran to meet the arckledibblers. "Welcome to the reeses theses mesis! Yellow!" he squeeled enthusiastically.

"Wallow!" they micked back.

Harry looked around. "Mweeble?" he said, suddenly scared. Tom was terrified of arckledibblers, and so he poufed away. Draco sniffled, and miffled, and then he finally diffled - before he giffled. And then he triffled.... no more Tom snookiewookiepoo'ems!

Hermione then shagged Ron on the ceiling. Ron *g*'d at the shag.

"Nice hair, mibbler," scowled Draco.

"Yargle," he said appreciatively, ruffling his hair.

The Klistickallen Boxer klecked the kloenesh kanneverious krautacious krapasses. Then he rendeckedarted the lakaranium lakalana room.

"Cracklediddle?" said Harry, deciding to smite the arkledibblers.

The teachers diddlydooed their hymms in a redneck room.

"Warrgh!" said the arkledibblers, smorking on the lawns. Harry lemurariously trembled.

Everyone else realised that there was more action going on outside, and fwipped there immediately. Harry cast the Retardious Maixmosososososis on the Arkledibblers.

"Go Harry!" yelled Hermione, pumping her fist in the air.

The arkledibblers snarked and died and smuggliciously smiled. Harry turned to Hermione, smuggliciously smiled, and schnugged her madly. Ron reggled, and Draco dreggled.

Draco then mwipped sadly over Tom. Everyone else garkled murderously at the pair on the lawn, and then stalked back inside, fwerbling. Neville snogged him, where the teachers were still playing their tunes in the rednecatious room.

And then finally, once everyone was restored in their beds, the day was said to have never happened.