The Malfoy Code of Conduct

To Draco:

You are eight today. Fine time to begin learning how to act like a true Malfoy--those torture methods I showed you yesterday were just the beginning.

Malfoy isn't just a name. Being a Malfoy is in the way you walk, talk, and look down on others. Malfoys are

As a Malfoy, you are under an obligation to keep up the Malfoy tradition; this book will be crucial in helping you. You are also expected to pass this book onto your first-born son when he comes of age, so that our family will remain strong in society.

My father, Caius Malfoy--your grandfather--gave this book to me on my eighth birthday, much as I am giving it to you today. For the past 1500 years, this book has been passed through the hands of Malfoys. For the rest of your life, this book will be your bible. The laws of the Ministry of Magic are second.

If, by chance, some misfortune befalls you and this book is harmed, you are expected to rewrite it at once. Do not worry about forgetting the content; I guarantee that you will have had this book committed to memory by Tuesday.

Read and remember, boy, and follow the rules. This book will teach you the steps to being a true Malfoy. No one will ever doubt your name; no situation will fail to subside. If all else fails, you can always quote the book at them; the confusion that follows will provide sufficient time for you to think of a better plan.

You will be given a test on the first two sections tomorrow.

Oh, and one more thing: this book is charmed to bite, if you should choose to throw it down in frustration and disgust. I wouldn't try it if I were you--it hurts; I speak from personal experience.

Your loving demanding father,

Lucius Malfoy

P.S. The book is also enchanted to spontaneously combust, set its surroundings on fire, and re-emerge from the ashes if you do not read it in three months.

P.P.S. Bad things will happen if you do not follow the rules.

P.P.P.S. Er... happy birthday, son.