When Good Potions Go Bad

Chapter 2

Severus rolled over and started snuggling against Remus, trying to wake him. "Remus, darling," he said softly. Over the last few days, he had found that he could generally get Remus to indulge him if he was affectionate.

Remus muttered, "Not now."

Severus had just awoken from the most erotic dream and wanted to re-enact said dream. Reaching his hand down, he stroked Remus. "Don't you love me?"

Remus tried to hide his irritation. "I do, but I do need some rest, you know."

"We'll lie in tomorrow." He licked Remus's ear in a way that he knew aroused his lover.

Remus tried to push him away. "Would you stop?" he asked playfully.

Pleased that he had Remus's attention, he continued teasing the other man, gently fondling him and showering him with kisses.

Remus laughed softly. "And we can get some sleep after I indulge you?"

"It may take a while. I'm feeling quite randy. Though...it seems you are, too." He gave Remus a gentle squeeze.

When they finally crawled out of bed, it was nearly time to leave. Severus had been the first one in the shower, wanting to get dressed before Remus could see his naked body outside of their bed. He found that he could no longer button his trousers, and instead had to resort to some very creative magic. The house-elves had been more than happy to indulge his culinary creativity. He had made it a nightly ritual to completely exhaust Remus with sex and then have the house-elves whip up a sumptuous meal. They had given him some questioning looks when he made requests for things like peanut butter and pickle sandwiches, but they always brightened up when he praised them for the wonderful food.

Remus was in the shower now and Severus stood before the full-length mirror in the bedroom, examining himself. He was developing a little bit of a paunch, but he didn't see anything wrong with that. The rest of him was filling out a bit, too. While in the service of the Dark Lord and Dumbledore, he had always been painfully thin due to the stress of his dual service. And he most definitely did not look like Slughorn. He was just finally achieving a healthy weight.

Hearing Remus turn off the shower, he quickly dressed, not wanting Remus to see the creative magical tie he was using to hold up his trousers. He would definitely have to purchase new ones upon their return. It should be early enough when they got back that he could run out and take care of this errand as soon as they got home.

When Remus emerged from the bath, he said, "Good, you're dressed. Is everything all packed up?"

"Just waiting for you," Severus teased.

"Hey, now, you're the one who insisted on showering first," he replied playfully. "I'm glad we did this. I think we both needed it.

Severus had to agree. Between the uninterrupted sex and the wonderful food, this had been a truly wonderful vacation. He thought that they should do this more often. "That we did. I love you."

Remus returned the kiss. "And I love you, too. Once more?"

"How about after we get home? Then we won't have to get dressed again."

"Much better idea. See you there," Remus said and Disapparated.

***********

Severus buttoned his nearly new trousers and was dismayed that they were getting a little snug. He had only purchased them a few weeks ago, and he had been sure to get them a little loose. "I'm not eating that much, am I?" he whispered to himself and looked down at his softly rounded stomach and patted it gently. It looked like he would have to make another shopping trip before Remus started questioning his inability to button his trousers again. Feeling a flutter in his stomach, he began to wish that he hadn't stopped at the Thai place on his way home. While he enjoyed the food, it hadn't been sitting well with him lately. Which was odd, since he rarely reacted to food like this. Just another thing to chalk up to aging, he lamented.

Severus had convinced Remus to go out to dinner, which for him was a blessing, since Remus had been serving small portions since their return from vacation. He knew that Remus was doing this for his own good. However, he was increasingly finding that if he didn't eat, he would feel faint, so he had been sneaking extra meals on the way home. And he was still having the oddest cravings, ones that he kept hidden from Remus as they were even stranger than ice cream and crisps.

Straightening his robes, he headed down the hall to meet Remus.

"You look good, Severus," Remus said, a large smile on his face.

"Thank you. Are you ready?"

At dinner, Severus ordered a large meal, one that earned a raised eyebrow from Remus. As he finished the meal, he began to realize how snug his trousers really were. He was trying to discreetly shift the waistband of his trousers a little lower, when he felt a large flutter in his stomach and automatically flinched.

Remus asked, "Is something wrong?"

"It's nothing. Just a little indigestion." He rubbed his stomach trying to alleviate some of the discomfort.

"I'm not surprised given everything you ate."

"What's that supposed to mean?" he snapped.

Remus sighed. "Nothing. If you aren't feeling well, why don't you head home, and I'll get the check settled. I'll be along shortly."

Severus couldn't help but feel hurt and stormed out of the restaurant. Since he knew there was neither ice cream nor crisps in the house, he stopped at the store on the way home. As soon as he slammed the door, he summoned a spoon from the kitchen and sat down on the couch to dig into his ice cream. Stupid, insensitive, Remus. Why do I put up with him? He continued to drown his sorrows in his ice cream.

He didn't even look up when he heard the door open.

Remus sat down next to him on the couch. "Severus."

"Go away!"

Remus placed his hand on Severus's to stop him from eating another bite. "Severus, please. We need to talk."

He stabbed the spoon into the ice cream and slammed it on the table. Crossing his arms defensively, he spat, "Why? So I can listen to you insult me again?"

Remus didn't try to hide the pain those words caused. "I'm not trying to insult you."

"Oh, no? You could have fooled me."

Remus tried to wrap his arm around Severus. "I'm worried about you. You've been acting very oddly, gaining weight, hiding things from me."

Severus shoved him away. "I'm not hiding anything from you."

"Please don't lie to me. I know that you've been sneaking food when I'm not around." He leaned his forehead against Severus's. "I know that you purchased new trousers because your old ones were too tight, and I know that you are outgrowing those, too. Something's wrong with you, and I'm afraid I might lose you. It's not like you to lose self control like this." He gestured at the ice cream. "Why did you buy that?"

Severus opened his mouth to answer and found he didn't have one. He had just wanted it. Pulling away from Remus, he snapped, "Nothing's wrong with me. I'm fine."

"No, you're not fine. A person does not just put on that much weight so quickly." He paused. "I'm...finding you less attractive."

Severus pulled back. "I would have thought you would be the last person to be concerned with appearances."

Remus nervously ran his hand through his hair. "It's not that, per se. It's just... You're developing breasts," he finished quietly.

"You're as shallow as everyone else," Severus swept out of the room. He slammed the bedroom door and threw himself onto the bed. The tears came unbidden as he cursed Remus. When he realized he was crying, he cursed himself for being so weak.

After several minutes, he managed to regain some degree of control, and rose from their bed to stand before the mirror. It was hard to examine his body through his robes, so he stripped down. As he stood in his boxer shorts, which were also getting to be too tight, contemplating his reflection, he heard a knock at the door.

"Severus, would you please let me in," Remus called.

"Go away. I don't want to talk to you."

"Please? I'm sorry I hurt your feelings."

He decided not to answer. Remus knocked again and pleaded a little while longer before giving up and going away, which pleased Severus. He frowned as he stared at his reflection. His potbelly was growing, though oddly he was not also developing love handles. He had expected to suffer from the normal middle-aged spread, not something like this. Patting his belly, he admitted to himself that Remus was right, that he was putting on too much weight. Shifting his attention to his chest, he noticed that his breasts were getting a bit flabby, but strangely, they weren't saggy like he had seen in other older men. On the contrary, they were almost perky. Tentatively, he cupped them and was surprised by just how firm they were. As he kneaded them, he was surprised by how sensitive they had become. He quickly pulled his hands away, ashamed that he was taking pleasure in fondling his breasts.

Tired of looking at his reflection, he crawled back into bed, deciding he had better get some sleep. He found he had a hard time getting comfortable, and every time he did, it wasn't long before his indigestion kicked back in. If it hadn't meant leaving the room, he would have taken something for it, but he had no interest in talking to Remus right now.

**************

Remus was pleased that Severus had taken up his offer of going on evening walks to get some exercise. Unfortunately, it didn't seem to be doing much good. They had been doing this for nearly a month, and Severus was still putting on weight, but Remus was loath to bring that up again. Severus was still very touchy, and he had reacted quite poorly when Remus had suggested seeing a Healer two weeks ago. That was the last time Remus had decided to bring that up.

Severus reached back and rubbed his lower back. "Can we go back? My back is killing me."

They hadn't gone as far as Remus would have liked, but something was better than nothing. "Sure." As they walked back, he couldn't help but notice that Severus kept rubbing his back. "Did you hurt yourself?"

"No, just working too long over the cauldron. Nothing to worry about."

Remus didn't believe him. He thought that it probably had something to do with the excess weight Severus was carrying around, but he kept silent.

That night, he snuggled against Severus, wrapping his arm around his lover, wishing he could convince Severus to see a Healer. His hand was resting on Severus's stomach and he was almost asleep when he felt something...move. "Severus?"

"Mmm," mumbled Severus.

"What was that?" It happened again and Remus pressed his hand more firmly on Severus's stomach. "That! Your stomach moved!"

"Indigestion."

Remus was now wide-awake. He quickly lit the lamp and crawled over Severus so he could look him in the eyes. "That was not indigestion." He had placed his hand back on Severus's stomach, trying to catch the movement again. "Something's moving in there!" His mind started processing information at a fantastic pace. He was reminded of a discussion he had had the other day with Hermione, who was six months pregnant with her first child. The blood drained from his face.

Severus saw Remus pale and asked, "Remus? Are you all right?"

It all suddenly started making sense. The nausea, breast tenderness, and food aversions for a couple of months that gave way to a hearty appetite, increased libido, and weight gain - but only in the stomach area. "Er..." He got up from the bed and started pacing, trying to determine how he could present this to Severus, who obviously still suspected nothing.

Severus was now quite concerned and was sitting up. "Remus? What is it?"

Remus ran his hands through his hair. "You remember how shortly after we came back from Greece, that was the first time that you lost your appetite? And it lasted for a couple of months?"

"I was under a lot of stress."

Remus continued pacing. "Then about three months after we got back, you started to feel better. In fact, your appetite improved. Rather spectacularly, as a matter of fact. That's about the time I noticed you were putting on a little weight."

"If you have a point, make it. It's the middle of the night," Severus said snidely.

Turning to face Severus, Remus crossed his arms and started chewing on his finger. "How long have you been suffering from indigestion?"

"I don't know. Off and on for the last two or three weeks, I guess."

"That sounds about right," Remus said quietly, almost to himself.

"About right for what?" Severus asked, the frustration clear in his voice.

Remus sat on the bed and held Severus's hand. "Hermione was over the other day telling me how she's been feeling." He could tell that Severus was growing incredibly impatient. He placed his hand on his lover's stomach. "Severus, my love, you have shown the same progression of symptoms that she has."

Severus was beyond shocked. "But she's pregnant! Surely you aren't saying...?"

"It all fits."

"Aside from the fact that I'm male, and I don't have eggs. You are completely insane." He pulled away from Remus and turned away from him.

Remus placed his chin on Severus's shoulder and wrapped his arm around his lover. "We both know that strange things happen in the wizarding world. And you were working on a fertility potion."

"I'm not even going to entertain this idiocy."

Remus could feel the movement in Severus's stomach again, and he placed the other man's hand over the movement. "Hermione let me feel her baby kicking today. This is exactly what it felt like."

"It's still not possible," Severus said, but a note of doubt was beginning to creep into his voice.

"See a Healer and find out for sure."

Severus pulled away and rose to start pacing himself. "I will not be a medical oddity."

Remus sighed. "But if it is true, we need to know. I mean, I know you don't have female organs, so you'll need medical intervention to give birth."

"I'm not giving birth!" Severus said defiantly.

Crossing the room, he wrapped his arms around Severus to stop the other man's pacing. "Severus, this could be a wonderful time for us. I had never thought that I would have a family, yet we have possibly been given the most wonderful gift."

"Wonderful? You think what I've been going through is wonderful? You are repulsed by my appearance!"

Remus would not let him pull away. "That's when I thought you weren't taking care of yourself."

"You are such a hypocrite. So now that you think I am...pregnant, I look good to you again?"

Realizing the quandary he was in, Remus began, "It's not like that. I can't explain it. I've always been attracted to you and putting on a few pounds didn't change that. I just... Damn, there's no good way to explain this. I love you now and always." He nipped Severus's ear, hoping to calm the situation.

"Don't do that."

"Why not?" Remus asked as he continued playing with Severus's ear. He also let his hands drift up to fondle his lover's breasts, hoping that if his other symptom's mirrored Hermione's, this one would, too. She had told him how sensitive hers had become and how arousing it was to have Harry fondle them.

"Because you know that I can't...think straight when you do that." Severus shuddered at the sensations coursing through his body.

"Good." Remus led him back over to the bed, pleased to have changed the subject.

**************

Severus found he had a hard time concentrating at work. Remus's hypothesis kept invading his thoughts. Unfortunately, he didn't know much about pregnancy or how it manifested itself, and why should he? As a gay man, it was not something he thought he would ever have to worry about. And it was not like he could just ask someone. They would want to know why. Throughout the day, he found himself rubbing his belly every time he felt something 'move'. Is it a child, as preposterous as that sounds? And if it is, now what?

As he returned home, he steeled himself for another round of listening to Remus plead with him to see a Healer. He had been assaulted with that plea at least a half-dozen times at breakfast.

He froze when he entered the living room and saw Hermione sitting with Remus. "What is she doing here?"

"Good evening, to you, too, Severus," she said sarcastically.

"Does she know?"

"Severus, you are refusing to see a Healer. Hermione will be completely discreet. And if it turns out to be nothing, we'll know, and I'll quit pestering you."

Realizing this could shut Remus up once and for all, he said, "What do I need to do?"

Hermione rose from the chair. "I'll need you to lie down, and I'll cast a quick diagnostic spell. You won't feel a thing."

Severus positioned himself on the sofa and waited. Hermione waved her wand over him once, furrowed her brow and did it a second time, and then a third. "Well?" he asked, clearly irritated.

"Congratulations?" she asked as she looked back and forth between the two of them. She addressed Remus. "Even though you told me what you suspected, I still didn't think you could possibly be right."

"Of course he can't be right!" Severus shouted as he struggled to a sitting position. "Men do not get pregnant!"