Never Jump Off a Flying Broomstick

The Potions classroom was freezing as the Slytherins and Gryffindors zoned out to Professor Snape's lecture. There wasn't a person in the room who didn't have a scarf wrapped around their neck. It was quite a shock for everyone when a box on Snape's desk flipped open and began talking.

"All students are to report to the Great Hall immediately." Cheers were heard throughout the room before it continued. "Any classwork that is missed must be made up." Groans emanated throughout the room as everyone stood up and filed towards the door.

"I wonder what they're going to announce," Hermione said.

"Maybe they're going to announce that Professor Flitwick is really a six foot three woman who is going to appear in the winter Olympics this year," Lindsay said. Elizabeth was the only one who found her comment funny.

When they walked into the Great Hall, they kicked some first years out of their seats to get as close to the front as possible. Elizabeth could tell the other students were just as curious as she was. The voices in the hall hushed to silence as Professor Dumbledore stood at the podium.

"Students, I have an important announcement to make. Our alumna Oliver Wood has brought Hassan Mostafa, the Chairwizard of the International Association of Quidditch, to host a quidditch tournament. The winning team at our school will go on to an international competition in the spring. The Irish quidditch team's seeker, Aidan Lynch has come to help the teams train before the first match. Slytherin has the first practice this evening, then Hufflepuff, then Ravenclaw, and then Gryffindor last on Friday. You may all return to your classes."

As the students filed out of the room, Elizabeth looked at Hassan Mostafa and Aidan Lynch as they talked with Professor Dumbledore. Mostafa was somewhat round about the middle, with little hair on top of his head, and wore robes in a deep orange. Aidan Lynch was considerably better looking. His hair was almost black and his eyes were a crystal blue. Elizabeth could almost feel herself start to drool. Looking at Lindsay, she knew she felt the same way.

"Can you believe it?" Ron asked excitedly, grabbing her arm. "Hassan Mostafa and Aidan Lynch are here at Hogwarts, and there's a tournament!"

"Yeah, it's great," she said as he gave her a kiss.

"Yeah," Draco drawled. "It's especially great that Slytherin gets to go tonight and Gryffindor has to wait until Friday. It fucking sucks for you." Draco suddenly found his scarf pulled tighter around his neck and Ron shoved him out of the Great Hall.

"Oh shit," Elizabeth said, cursing her stupidity. "I completely forgot my divination book in the common room."

"Do you want me to come with you?" Ron asked, looking fretful at the thought of being late for class. Or it's probably just the thought of all the stairs, Elizabeth thought.

"No, that's ok. Just save me a seat, all right?"

Smiling with what she supposed to be relief, he said, "Of course."

Elizabeth raced up the stairs and nearly ran through the fat lady in the painting when the password did not work. Finally, the painting swung open and she was able to grab her books. Who made the password Belgian Waffle, she thought angrily as she ran up and down flights of stairs. The wind was knocked out of her when she ran into someone on the landing.

"In a bit of a hurry?" the voice had an Irish lilt to it. A hand wrapped around her arm and helped to pull her up to her feet. Looking up, Elizabeth saw Aidan Lynch in front of her, eyes glinting. He laughed a bit. "I thought quidditch players were supposed to be agile when it comes to dodging things."

Brushing herself off she said, "That's only for flying balls." Oh my god, she thought. Did I really just say that?

Luckily, Aidan did not seem bothered in the least. Instead, he laughed some more. "My mistake," he said. Looking at the cover of her text book he'd picked up he added, "Running late for divination? Always a waste of time if you ask me," he began walking towards the divination classroom.

"How did you know I was a quidditch player?" she asked, hoping that she didn't look like a slob.

"Wood mentioned you to me after that last quidditch game of yours. Not a bad trick, that."

"Thanks," she said, smiling.

"Gryffindor practices on Friday, am I right?" he asked.

"Yeah," she said as they stopped in front of the doorway to divination.

"See you Friday then," he said, flashing a gorgeous smile at her.

Elizabeth could feel herself blushing as she said, "See you then."

As she turned into the classroom, she could see Lindsay smiling excitedly at her. However, she missed the upset look on Ron's face when he saw her smile at Aidan Lynch.

"How is it that you went to get a text book and came back with a quidditch player?" Lindsay whispered to her once she'd sat down.

"I accidentally ran into him in the corridor," Elizabeth confessed.

Lindsay cringed for her. "Oh no, you didn't."

"Oh yes, I did," Elizabeth said painfully. "But apparently Wood mentioned me to him."

"I don't care about that," Lindsay said, waving away the air. "Did he ask you to marry him and make gorgeous Irish babies? Or perhaps he just wanted to shag in Filch's office?"

"Would you stop it?" Elizabeth laughed. "He's not interested. More importantly, I'm not interested. I've got Ron." When she and Lindsay turned to look at him, he had just turned Neville's toad into a hat that croaked when you put it on.

"Yeah, sure," said Lindsay.

The rest of the week was painful for the Gryffindor team as they had to listen to the other house-teams talk about how great their practices were, especially when they had to hear it from the Slytherins.

"And then Aidan Lynch said that I'd make a great captain for the team," one of them drawled.

"But your not," Draco reminded him coldly.

"Yes, well," the student stuttered. "It's obviously not something you would understand," he said defensively.

"It means he has potential," Millicent explained. "You were fantastic," she said as she started to kiss him. It was several moments before the rest of the students could continue eating their breakfasts without gagging.

Finally it was Friday night and the Gryffindor team flew out above the Quidditch pitch. The practice was directed by Aidan and it was amazing. Elizabeth loved every minute that she was out above the pitch. Ron seemed somewhat less excited than she thought he would be. She was going to ask him about it after practice when Aidan approached her.

"You flew well today," he said, admiringly.

"Thanks."

"Do you think everyone could understand my directions? Some people have hard time with the accent." He seemed so cute when he was concerned, she thought.

"You were fine. I'm just used to hearing Irish accents."

"Really? And why is that?" he asked.

"My mom's side is Irish. I've visited Ireland almost every year since I was born," she explained.

"I was wondering why I liked an American so much," he said with a smile.

Elizabeth couldn't help but smile back. "Don't be too hard on us Americans. We can be damn good quidditch players."

"Oh really?" Aidan said laughing.

"At least one relative of mine used to be famous at quidditch," Elizabeth defended herself.

"All right, lass. Maybe I'll see if I can find anything about him. Famous Irish quidditch players are my specialty," he added with a wink. Elizabeth let out a laugh. "I'll see you at the match tomorrow," he said smiling. He waved as he walked across the pitch.

Elizabeth ran to catch up with Ron. "Do you want to stop by the Three Broomsticks and get something to eat?" she asked, wrapping her arm around his.

Unlinking his arm he said, "No. I've got a lot of Divination homework to do," and he walked on ahead of her.

Lindsay caught up with her from the stands. "What was that all about?"

"I have no idea," Elizabeth said shrugging her shoulders. "Ron hates Divination."

Lindsay bit her lip as she thought. "Maybe he's just nervous about the match tomorrow."

"All he said was that he had Divination homework to do," said Elizabeth, honestly confused.

"All right, so maybe he's been looking into the future and he's finally realized that Slytherin is going to beat you guys tomorrow," Lindsay joked. Seeing that Elizabeth was going to remain upset she linked her arm through Elizabeth's and together they skipped up to the castle, teeth chattering from the cold.

Ron still hadn't talked to her when they stood in the stands watching the quidditch games the next day. Elizabeth was so nervous she had barely been able to eat breakfast that morning. There would be three matches that day. First there would be a game between Slytherin and Ravenclaw, and then a game between Hufflepuff and Gryffindor. Whichever two teams won those matches would play in the third game. The winner would go on to the international tournament.

It was a particularly cold December Saturday, and Elizabeth was glad Hermione had given her an extra spell to keep warm as she stood in the stands. She scanned the crowds hoping she could find Ron. Instead, she saw Aidan, who gave her a big smile with his chattering teeth.

The first match was a close win as Slytherin's seeker, Draco, caught the snitch right after the Ravenclaw's seeker had been hit with a bludger. Elizabeth jumped up and down a few times to get her blood running before she hopped onto her broom and flew out above the pitch. The match between Gryffindor and Hufflepuff made it clear that Gryffindor was the better team. Hufflepuff is not up to snuff, thought Elizabeth, laughing to herself at her lame joke. Oh god, she thought, the cold is making me delirious.

Right before the match between Slytherin and Gryffindor started, Elizabeth finally had a chance to smile and wave at Ron. He seemed to relax a bit after that as he hovered in front of the goal posts. Excitement lurched through Elizabeth as she chased after the quaffle. She made three goals and two assists before she heard the crowds cheer as Harry flew after the snitch. Through the corner of her eye she could see Harry and Draco flying side by side. The crowd tensed as they both reach out their hands to catch the snitch. One voice called out, "Fucking catch it, Draco!" Oh Lindsay, Elizabeth thought, shaking her head.

A burst of cheers split through the air as someone caught the snitch. Elizabeth heard the familiar cheer, "Go, go, Gryffindor!" erupt through the stands. She was smiling uncontrollably as she landed with the rest of her team. Ron was standing next to Harry when she ran over and wrapped her arms around his neck.

Suddenly the cheering stopped as Madam Hootch began to make an announcement. "Students, I believe we have a Hogwarts first. This is the first time that there has ever been a tie on the quidditch pitch." As she said this, all of the heads swerved to the scoreboard. It was plain enough to see. Gryffindor had one-hundred ninety points, but so did Slytherin. "The administration will meet before any final decision is made. That is all."

As people finally began to leave Aidan walked over and hugged her with a kiss on the cheek. "Great game!" he said happily.

Trying to smile after receiving Madame Hooch's verdict, she said, "Thanks. I was so worried we weren't going to play well in the cold."

"I was so worried I was going to freeze to death watching the games," he said, laughing as his teeth chattered behind his blue lips.

"Come on," she said with a laugh. "We had better get you inside."

"I've got to speak with Hassan Mostafa first. I'll see you later though."

"All right," she said as she started to walk back to her friends.

"Oh, one more thing," he called after her. "About that relative you were talking about, he wouldn't happen to be Richard O'Hara would he?"

"Yes," Elizabeth said warily. "He didn't owe you money or something did he?"

Aidan's face lit up into an even brighter smile. "Richard O'Hara was only the best and most amazing Irish quidditch player ever! He signed a quaffle for my dad once and now I have it. He was my idol when I was a lad. I even found out that I was distantly related to him." He paused for a moment before it dawned on him. It dawned on Elizabeth even sooner. "Hey, that means we must be related too! Wait 'til I tell my dad. He'll be so jealous I met you!"

Oh great, she thought. "We'll have to have a family reunion some time, but I've really got to get out of the cold. Bye!"

When she made her way back to everyone else, Ron wasn't there. "He left," said Harry. "He seemed pretty upset for some reason. No worries though, we'll find him later."

Elizabeth couldn't understand why Ron was acting like such an ass all of a sudden. She decided to forget about him for a while and went to the party in the Gryffindor common room.

"Lindsay," Elizabeth said as she rested her head on her friend's shoulder.

"Did you find Ron?" she asked.

"No," Elizabeth said. "But there's something worse, or at least weirder." Lindsay looked at her with concern. "Aidan and I are related," she groaned.

Lindsay laughed uncontrollably for a while before wiping away the tears and remarking, "That is the best thing I've ever heard!"

After lights out, the gang met up in one of the corridors, everyone except Elizabeth.

"We need to find Ron," said Hermione, looking worried.

"Do we know why he's so upset?" Harry asked.

"No," said Lindsay. "He's just been acting like a total prat lately."

"Well if I were a loser like him," Draco drawled, "I'd be off drinking myself into a pit of oblivion."

"There's no alcohol allowed on campus and it is way too cold to go to the Three Broomsticks," Hermione said.

"I know where he'd be," Harry said, heading off down one of the hallways.

The group finally stopped walking when they came in front of a large painting of fruit. "He'd be here?" Hermione asked skeptically.

"Ron eats when he's nervous," Harry explained before he spoke the password and stepped through the opening.

The room was gigantic and was filled with house elves bustling in every direction. They could vaguely make out a patch of red hair on the far side of the room. Ron was a mess when they reached him. He had passed out on the table and there was a puddle of drool coming from his mouth.

"How did he get drunk on school property?" Hermione asked.

Draco picked up and admired one of the many empty butterbeer bottles strewn across the table. "There's actually a bit of alcohol in here. I'm guessing no one expected someone to consume thirty of these things."

Lindsay quietly tip toed over to where Ron was sitting and bent down towards his head. Then she shouted, "FIRE!" directly into his ear.

The incredibly drunk Ron shot up in his seat, his eyes glazed over. "What? What's happening?" As soon as he saw his friends, and Draco, standing around him he slurred, "Bloody hell, guys. What was that for?"

"You're a mess! Elizabeth has been worried about you all night. She was miserable at the party. What are you doing this for?" Lindsay shouted.

"She was miserable?" he hiccupped. "I bet Aidan could make her feel better."

"What the hell are you talking about you fucking prat?" Draco asked.

Ron sat up from his slumped position and pointed an accusatory finger directly to the left of Draco. "Don't you fucking call me a fucking pat you fucking fucked up fuck. Fuck off!"

Draco actually snorted he was laughing so hard. "I'd give anything to be able to use this as black mail."

"Why are you so upset, Ron?" Hermione asked, her voice soothing and calm.

"She loves Aidan. Haven't you been able to tell?" Ron looked genuinely distressed as he continued, "She's been smiling at him and he's smiling at her, and then after the match he hugged her and kissed her. Why wouldn't she love him more? He's famous and fabbity fab fab all over."

"That's the stupidest fucking thing I've ever heard," Lindsay shouted. "You have the lowest self-esteem of anyone I know. She's going out with you! Besides, they only kissed on the cheek and guess what she found out today? They're actually incredibly distant cousins so get over yourself."

"Come on," said Harry. "Go upstairs and tell Elizabeth how much you love her."

Elizabeth was sitting in the common room eating Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans by herself when Lindsay emerged through the doorway, practically hyperventilating from laughter.

"How did you get in here?" Elizabeth asked, sitting up on the couch.

"Slytherins know everyone's passwords," she managed to get out between bursts of laughter. It took a minute for her to calm down enough to continue talking. "You will never guess what happened. We found Ron completely pissed on butterbeer in the kitchens and he's coming to apologize to you."

"Then why isn't he here?" Elizabeth asked roughly.

Lindsay started laughing again. "That's the best part. He's too smashed to get up here. He's lost somewhere on the fourth floor. You're going to have to go and find him."

"All right," Elizabeth said standing up. "Did he at least say what he was mad about?"

"He thought you were in love with Aidan Lynch."

"That's ridiculous," Elizabeth said. "Besides, I told you how Aidan looked up my family history and it turns out we're distantly related."

Lindsay raised her eyebrow. "He looked up your family history? What is that, some kinky fetish with family trees?"

"I mentioned I had a famous quidditch playing relative and he looked it up. Ireland is small, not a very large gene pool."

"Sort of like Louisiana," Lindsay said pensively. Seeing Elizabeth roll her eyes she said, "You can't really blame Ron. After all, how can a red-headed, wiry British guy compare with a gorgeous, dark-haired Irish professional quidditch player?"

"Good point," Elizabeth said as she headed out the door. "Thanks for the help."

It took a while to find Ron, but eventually she did, and she had to try very hard not to laugh. He was lying in front of a painting of an ogre saying, "Let me in to the common room you fucking fat lady!" and then he would shake his fist threateningly in the air.

"Ron, that's the wrong painting," Elizabeth said soothingly.

"Elizabeth!" he said as he began sliding towards her on the floor. Grabbing her around the legs he pleaded, "I am so sorry! I was being a complete ass and I don't deserve someone like you and I'm totally fucked up right now but could you forgive me?"

"Yes, I'll forgive you," she said. "But we have to go now or we'll get a detention for being out this late."

"Right," he said, fervently nodding his head in agreement. "Right."

Using as many rarely used corridors as possible, Elizabeth helped to sneak Ron up to the Gryffindor tower. Not caring about the guys, she entered Ron's room where Harry, Seamus, and Dean were trying to sleep. When Ron started shouting the lyrics to "God Save the Queen," the others let out moans of disapproval.