Of Love Notes and Bottle Caps

Disclaimer: My first original character makes an appearance here! Watch out for her.

A/N: Hot Georgina is my tribute to Obsessive Lily Disorder by Procrastinator-starting2moro. It's a fabulous Marauders Era fic, so skedaddle over to Search to go and read it :)

Chapter Two: A Note of Love

The next thing Harry picked up was a stack of letters.

He stared confusedly at the topmost one for a while, scratching his head. He supposed it must have been from his father. He hoped it wasn't. It was a note, or a poem to be more exact, on screwed up parchment.

Lil,
I
Love
You!

What a stupid poem.

Harry turned it over, wondering if that was it. It wasn't! There was a reply, written in different handwriting...

James,
A
Moron
Especially
Sucks

Oh dear. He supposed those bad writing skills did belong to his father after all, then.

"Padfoot, this is it. It's been enitirely too long." James punched the last two syllables into his hand. He continued his arm waving. "I need more subtle tactics, something spontaneous, something girly and romantic even! She's the Golden Gryffindor Snitch just out of my reach! I know I can stretch just that little bit-"

James turned around from his charade.

"Sirius are you even listening to me?"

A snore greeted his ears.

"Siri - Sirius, wake up you mongrel! I was in the middle of telling you my sob story!"

Sirius grunted, and yawned widely.

"Oh go on, then. Something about Evans?"

"I need to do something romantic for Lily, you sod!"

That woke him up.

"Romantic? You? Ha!"

James didn't look particularly impressed.

"I dunno, just grab her and snog her, Prongsie. Can I sleep now?"

"No! You told me to do that last time, remember?"

Sirius looked perplexed.

"Which time?"

"The time she kneed me in the balls, you pillock!"

"Again, which time was that?"

"Er -" James cast his memory back, shaking his head hopelessly. "-Does it matter which bloody time? Help me!"

"You could write her a love note, James." Peter piped up. James wheeled around.

"A love note? What are you, gay?" James guffawed, looking at Sirius, inviting him to share the joke. "What the hell? Why would someone write a love note to Lily?"

"To confess my undying love for her perhaps?"

A silence followed.

"Erm," Pete licked his lips nervously. "I was just putting myself into your shoes. So if I were you, I'd write her a love note to confess your undying love for her." Peter laughed nervously.

Remus sighed heavily. At long last he looked up from his book and pushed his tawny hair out of his eyes.

"Write her a poem," he said simply.

"Brilliant! A poem! You'll write me one though, won't you Remus? Won't you? You're a sappy genius!"

"No! That's plagiarism!"

"I'd give you credit for it!"

"That's admitting to being deceitful! She already thinks you conceited, you don't want to add to the list."

"You're right."

Remus sighed in deep relief.

"I should really get Sirius to write one."

Remus sighed in deep exasperation.

"The best letters come from the heart, James. You'd be better off writing one yourself." He added as an afterthought, "and send a note that Sirius wrote and suffer the consequences. Down there."

The boys looked at Remus in utter perplexity. Peter's mouth was slightly open, James wasn't really listening and Sirius looked confused.

"...Where does the note come from? Down there?"

Remus smiled and set his book aside, thinking it was a joke. "Don't know about you guys, but I'm going to bed now."

A murmur of affirmed agreement followed his statement.

Soon the room was filled with snores (Sirius', naturally) and heavy breathing (Peter was having a wet dream). Obviously James was awake. Obviously Remus was secretly keeping an eye on James to see what he was up to.

"Oy! Paddy! Wake up!" James hissed.

A groan was his only response.

"Go away, Hot Georgina, I'll have sex with you later..."

"Sirius! Pssst!"

"Yes, of course I'm serious..."

"Black!"

The snoring abruptly stopped.

"Huh? Wha'?"

"Shhh! You'll wake Remus!"

'What on earth is he planning...?' thought Remus.

"No James, for the last time, you can't come in my bed! Slug out your nightmares alone like the rest of us!"

"Sirius, I need you to promise me that you'll write a love poem from me to Lily! "

A groan.

"Sure. Of course."

Snore.

Lily was sat with her best friend, Yasmin, and tried to block out her story of Danny the Stalker she met in Salisbury.

Luckily, she received a distraction as all the post owls swooped in. She deftly caught a letter before it fell in her cornflakes.

Lil,
I
Love
You!

She stared at it, and checked the back to see if there was a note, or a signature at least. There wasn't. She looked along her table, to try and work out who sent it. A messy haired jerk winked at her.

Mystery solved. She glared at him.

Tigerlily looked down the Gryffindor table, and seductively locked eyes with James. He winked at her, and received a glare.

Oh dear.

"Padfoot, did you send that note?"

"Uh-huh," Sirius mumbled, with a mouth full of toast.

"How erm... Good was it?"

"Fantastic. She'll love it."

James was struggling to look even faintly interested as his best friend, Remus, was talking about some sort of rare herb that he found somewhere.

Suddenly he found a good distraction when the post owls swooped in as usual. James craned his neck to try and find his owl, but before he found him a school owl floated gracefully down to land on his head.

"Ow! Gerrof me, you're messing up my hair!"

James extracted a letter from its beak and shooed it off.

He stared at it confusedly.

James,
A
Moron
Especially
Sucks

He had a horrible feeling stirring in his stomach.

"Uh... Sirius? You wouldn't perhaps know anything about this would you?"

He chucked the letter at Sirius, who quickly read through it.

Sirius' face quickly rearranged itself into that of irritation -

"She stole my idea!"

"Idea..? What was that poem you wrote her, by the way?"

"It was like this one, but with her name instead."

"...What? You moron! You hairy scab! She thinks I wrote that crap, you idiot!"

The next morning a handsome post owl swooped gracefully down to land on James' head.

"You!" James screeched accusatively at the owl. He was positive it was the same one who messed up his hair before!

James muttered something about blasted owls, and how they were all out to get him and roughly tugged the letter out of its unwilling beak.

His expression soon turned sour, then crimson and then an expression of hopelessness settled on his face.

"Is it from Evans?" Peter piped up.

"No, Wormtail, the Tooth Fairy." Sirius felt like his friend needed cheering up. "Come on, Prongsie, you'll get the girl in the end!"

For all his efforts he got a letter thrown at his forehead in return.

Peter looked over Sirius' elbow, and Remus stood up to stare over Sirius' shoulder.

Dear James,
I'd rather date someone with acne,
Or snog a doxy.
Your breath smells like wee,
And your balls deserve a good knee!

Naïve James,
You can be so very sweet,
Your body is that of an athlete's.
There are people you mistreat,
Because you are blinded by your bloody conceit!

Illiterate James,
Don't bother ever asking Lupin to write me a love note,
On him I am more likely to dote.
I don't need your banknotes,
He is more of a dreamboat!

Oh James,
When will you ever see?
That you have overstepped the boundary?
And you will never get to be with me!
When will you get the hint and leave me be?

Two Marauders winced. The other one had already winced, as he was a fast reader.

"Better luck next times, James."

"Yeah, good luck Prongs."

"I'd rather date someone with... acne? That wasn't very imaginative. It's obviously about Snivellus."

Three of the Marauders turned round in their seats to glare at Snape.

"We must get payback. Big time." This sounded particularly menacing, coming from Pete.

Severus was idly sipping pumpkin juice when a fluffy school owl perched on the back of his chair.

I only ever get post from Lily...

He ripped open the letter and then stared at it in disbelief.

Slimeball,
Never
Attempt (to)
Please
Evans

It was obviously written by a nine year old. Only one nine year old called him Slimeball. How imaginative of him!

He looked up and sent the Marauders, who were all watching him for his reaction, a death glare.

James was sat in the Great Hall, barely noticing that the post owls were coming in. He was staring mournfully into his bowl of pumpkin juice, wondering whether it was deep enough to drown in when a school owl swooped across the tables and dropped a letter

.His quick reflexes caught it before it could fall in his pumpkin juice and ripped the letter open.

Just because you can do something, doesn't mean you should, James. Sn Severus is a very sweet boy, when you don't provoke him. I'd pick him over you any day! Leave him alone or face the consequences!

James nearly fell off his seat in shock! Snivellus? What? What had he done to deserve this?

"Let's see what she sent this time, then," announced Sirius, grabbing for the letter. James let it be pulled out of his hands in numbed shock.

"Whoa, let it all out, Lil!" someone whispered softly down the table.

James was hardly listening. His ears were buzzing.

Lily bent down and smoothed out the scrap of parchment that had obviously been thrown at the girls' dormitory door.

It was the poems that she had sent James!

Oh dear, looking back she thought she may have been a little harsh. As much as she didn't want to break his heart, she did not want to go out with the boy. It was an absolute last resort, and would only happen if they threatened to kill Severus.

She wandered back to her four-poster bed in deep thought, and slipped the crumpled parchment into her trunk.

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