Draco Malfoy and the Significant Rampaging Hedge

Author notes: hmmmmm. Thank you AkiTaifuu. You have lit a ray of sunshine into my grimy hole of a world. :D

To all of the rest of you, who are not reading OR reviewing, you won't be reading this, so it doesn't really matter what I think...

Chapter 4

Another week passed, and Harry Potter managed to avoid all of Draco's carefully placed traps. Draco scowled as he passed him in the Great Hall. He would have to try a different approach...

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The next morning, in the Gryffindor boy's dormitory, Harry Potter found a vole in his underpants draw.

"Oh." Harry was a bit lost for words. "Ummm, cute vole." The vole snuffled around in Harry's Y-fronts.

Neville Longbottom looked up. When he caught sight of the vole, he squeaked loudly.

"Harry!" Neville had gasped "that is a poisonous vole! The Only poisonous kind of vole in the British Isles. It's known for its very killer instincts and deadliness. It's evil..." He pointed an accusatory quivering finger at the dozing vole and collapsed into a mad fit of twitching, and everyone in the room had studiously ignored him.

"I think I'll call it Rover."

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"Aghlfufmiaduh?!?!?!!" Draco Malfoy spluttered. Harry Potter was still alive. Very alive. And with a vole gamboling around his shoulders... that made no sense and it was unfair. On the other foot, at least the poisoned toast would work.

At that second, Colin Creevey spluttered and choked. The entire Gryffindor table rushed to help him; Harry Potter actually leaping over the breakfast things in his haste. Draco turned away. Bloody Gryffindors...

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And now for a short history of the poisonous vole featured in this, the latest installment of the hedge saga.

Description

Most vole species have rootless molars that fold into a series of triangles. These prove very useful when our poisonous little friend goes out on his nightly hunts. Voles are one of the few rodents whose molars continue to grow during their entire life. This means that by the time they are a year old, their teeth protrude monstrously from their tiny mouths.

Habitat

The poisonous vole can live anywhere. He is the master of disguise. He can delve into the hardest rock and thrive in very high altitudes. The North American Meadow Vole lives in networks of above-ground "runways" in grassy areas, as well as underground burrows. California's Red Tree Vole lives in the treetops.

Range

Sometimes known as lethal meadow mice in America, approximately 70 species of voles can be found in Europe, Asia, North Africa and North America. They are especially often found in the Pacific Northwest in states including Oregon, Wasinkton, and the Kent area.

Diet

Depending on the species, the poisonous Vole's diet consists of Many carnivores such as wolves, owls, hawks, coyotes, roadrunners, foxes, weasels, cats and fish. They are most fearsome predators.

Age

The average life of an average vole is 3-6 months. However, poisonous Voles have been known to live longer than 12 years with proper care and attention. The longest lifespan of a posonous vole ever recorded was 18 years.

Containment

While voles can, like most rodents, be pests to yards and homes next to fields, I wouldn't bother trying to fight the posonous kind. According to the Department for fair and just treatment of the Only British Poisonous Vole, nothing will save you now. They have been known to thrive of vole repellent. If your garden is infested with a poisonous pal, Take heed!!! I would just move house or by a shotgun.

Author's notes (again): to EVERYONE

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