Inevitable

Chapter Eighteen

NEWTs

Love is strong as death; jealousy is cruel as the grave - The Bible, Song of Solomon

Lily went over the last paragraph again, looking for any points that were of importance. As her eyes flashed back to the top of the page, a hand appeared beside her, snatching the book away.

"Stop focussing on the exams so much," James said, lying down on the couch with his head on her lap.

"Oh, and what do you think I should focus on?" Lily asked. "No, let me guess. Perhaps - you?"

"You read my mind." James grinned up at her. "Let's go to the Astronomy Tower."

Lily tilted her head to the side to talk to him better. "James, we have to study! NEWTs begin tomorrow! Charms is first thing in the morning! It's really important that I don't have any distractions tonight."

"Am I a distraction?"

"You are a huge distraction," she said, leaning down to kiss his nose. As she did so she reached over and snatched back her book. "Ha," she said triumphantly, waving it above his face.

"Unfair tactics," he called loudly, causing several people to glance at them and roll their eyes. "As a punishment for cheating, you have to give up your night of study."

"Don't you want me to do well?" Lily asked, her eyebrows raised.

"Yes, but you're going to have a nervous breakdown with all this studying. Besides - It's Charms! You could have done it in your sleep two years ago; you don't need to study now. Come with me."

Lily stood up, causing James' head and shoulders to hang over the edge of the couch. "I'm going to my dormitory to study," she told him as he hung upside-down.

"Lily!" he called to her back. "Don't leave me here!"

She turned around and grinned at him, still backing away. "I'll see you in the morning, James."

Once up in her dormitory, Lily lay on her stomach and proceeded to skim through the rest of her book and her Charms notes.

How could James not be worried at all? She hadn't seen him study for longer than ten minutes at a time, and even then drawing in the corners of textbooks broke it up, writing his own comments in a certain points. How could he not show any of the stress that everyone else was brimming with?

*

"Hurry up hurry up hurry up!"

"I'm coming... Merlin, what's your rush?"

"Hurry up!"

"We know!"

Lene and Pat grumbled good-naturedly as Lily dragged them down to breakfast. They had an hour before their first NEWT began, and Lily didn't feel half-prepared.

"We all know you're going to blow them all away with your genius," Lene said as Lily inhaled her breakfast. "So stop worrying."

Pat looked over, vaguely disgusted by her friend's speed. "You're going to be sick, Lily."

Lily swallowed. "I'm fine. I'm just... Oh, who am I kidding? I'm going to fail. I'm going to get Trolls on everything!"

There was a snort of laughter behind her.

"If you get Trolls on everything," Sirius said, coming up behins her, "where does that leave the rest of us?"

"Don't tease me!" Lily whined. "I'm so nervous."

"You'll do fine." Sirius said, snatching a piece of toast off of Lene's plate. "Now move over so I can eat those kippers."

"But what if-"

"What if the lake floods in the next ten minutes and we all drown? What if that toast was poisoned and you fall down, withering in agony? What if this isn't really Lene but Avery under the influence of Polyjuice Potion?"

"Aw shucks," Lene said. "You found out."

Lily rested her head in her arms. "You're no help."

"We're sorry," Lene said with obvious fakesympathy. "Next time you're delusional you'll have my full support."

Sirius laughed. "Hey... That's my line!"

Lene pouted and dragged a finger down her cheek. "Tear."

"Thief."

"Look who's talking!"

"Thief."

"It's not your line. Anyone can use it-"

"Thief."

"-just because I said it first-"

"Thief."

"- you think you can blame me!"

"Thief."

"You probably weren't even going to say it anyway."

Sirius glared at Lene, then turned to Lily. "Quick! Only forty-three minutes and seventy-one seconds left to cram!"

Pat stopped and thought for a moment. "Aren't there only sixty seconds in a minute? So that's like saying forty-four minutes and eleven seconds?"

"Don't bother me with the particulars," Sirius smirked.

*

Lily sighed and put down her quill. She closed her eyes for a half-second, then began to read over the final answer on her Potions written exam.

Finished, finished, finished! She sang in her head.

Once convinced that she was done, Lily turned the parchment over, so that she wouldn't go back and worry about possible mistakes, and zoned out as she stared at a spot over Professor Dumbledore's chair.

That wasn't so hard. Not as hard as Transfiguration was. It wasn't as hard as the Defense Against the Dark Arts one, either. Of course, I did forget to reread that last chapter for Defense Against the Dark Arts, which is probably why I found it more difficult.

Lily smiled to herself. She would have the Practical Exam for Potions that afternoon, then a day off before her next exam. The next day was reserved for Care of Magical Creatures, and as Lily hadn't taken that since fifth year, she had a day off to study for Study of Ancient Runes, her last exam.

And then it would be over.

*

Lily grinned at her friends as they stood up from breakfast. "Have fun then," she said sweetly.

"I hate you," Lene growled. "A whole day off to do nothing."

"Nothing!" Lily said in surprise. "I'll be doing tons of things! I'll be revising in the library all day! I'll be going over four years worth of notes! I'll be re-learning the Greek alphabet, which I haven't looked at in a year! I'll be-"

"We get the idea," Pat said. "But we're still jealous."

"And don't forget," Lily said sweetly, "I get Monday off too!"

Pat looked up. "What's Monday?"

"Divination."

"Great! So I get off tomorrow and Monday!"

Lene groaned. "And I get just tomorrow. We'll see you later, Lil."

"Bye."

Lily smiled to herself for the one hundred and eighteenth time since she had woken up that morning. She had an entire day to herself. And Garret Doyle, of course, if he came to study with her again.

"Lily!"

She felt a tap on her right shoulder, but when she spun around, there was no one there.

There was laughter on her left.

"I cannot believe you fell for that."

Lily turned in the other direction.

"G'morning James."

"Easy for you to say. A whole day to yourself to lounge around, while we sweat and write till our hands cramp up and-"

As James continued teasing her, Lily watched him carefully. He seemed oddly tired. His hair was worse than usual, his smile too wide, and his laugh came too easily and too loudly. He still hadn't shown any stress about the exams, maybe he was beginning to feel it after all.

"Are you alright?" she asked, interrupting him.

"What? Oh - Yeah. I'm fine. Why?"

"You just... I don't know. You look tired."

"I'm fine," he said with such finality that Lily didn't push the question any further.

Lily looked up at the ceiling, only to see owls pouring in from all directions. If she wasn't so used to it, it really would be a shock to have them all suddenly appear. She scanned around for Isabelle, but it appeared that there was no mail for Lily. Beside her, however, James was opening a letter.

"What is it?" she asked, turning to him.

"I don't know yet," he said with a smile, unfolding the parchment and reading the first few lines. He turned white.

"James?"

He didn't reply.

"James?"

"It's nothing," he said, quickly shoving it into a pocket. "It's nothing."

"Well obviously it's something..."

"It's nothing, Lily. Merlin, why're you so prying today?"

"Okay," she said slowly, frowning at him. "Look - everyone's leaving, they've got to set up the desks. I'll see you at lunch, okay?"

"Okay." He grinned up at her as she stood, his mood completely changed.

She found herself grinning back. "Good luck," she said, leaning over to kiss his cheek. "Are you sure you're alright?"

"I'm fine."

Lily was alone in the library for about half of the morning. She reviewed the Greek alphabet, and went over some of the runes and symbols that she had had trouble with. She also finished a few mathematical problems before she was interrupted. Or rescued,

"Hey Lily."

"Hey Garret," she said, not bothering to turn around.

"How long have you been stuck in here?" he asked, sliding into the chair across from her.

"What time is it?"

"Ten-ish"

"Three hours, then."

"That's a long time. Want to go study outside with me? I'm bored, and I don't understand the stuff on those old Irish translations."

Lily rolled her eyes. "Does anyone?"

"Maybe the old Irish do, but I doubt it. So are you coming?"

Lily glanced down at her books. Going outside sounded like a much better plan than sitting in the library, breathing dust. She looked up and smiled. "Just let me pack my bag and we can go."

"Great."

They two joked and talked as they walked out to the grounds, of everything from favourite foods to what they wanted to do next year. Lily liked Garret. He had this aura about him, something that made her comfortable. He was a good friend, and despite his facination with all things Quidditch, he always had been.

"Okay then," he said, once they were out at the lake. "How many times d'you think you can get a rock to skip?"

"I don't know," Lily said, surprised at his sudden change of subject, "maybe two?"

"Watch this," he said. Picking up a smooth stone from the shore, he stepped forward and threw it, snapping his wrist back. "One, two, three-four-five," he counted. "Beat that."

Lily picked up another rock, in the hand that was closer to Garret, while gripping her wand in the other. As discreetly as she could, she mumbled a charm, before shoving her wand back into her robes. She threw the rock, almost casually, out to the lake. "One-two-three-four-five-six-seven-eight-nine-ten-eleven-twelve," she said proudly. "I think that wins."

Garret looked out at the lake in shock. Then, he turned back to Lily. "You little cheat," he said.

Her mouth fell open and her eyebrows shot up playfully. "I beg your pardon?"

"You heard me. You cheated. You did something to the rock."

"How do you know I don't just have superior talent?"

"You're a cheater!" He shoved her playfully, but Lily, not expecting it, overbalanced and tumbled into the shallows of the lake.

Sitting in the shallow water, once she got over her initial shock, she threw back her head and laughed.

"Are you okay?" Garret stepped forward, his hand outstretched, to help her up.

"Fine," she laughed. "I'm fine."

Lily took his hand to get up, but, halfway to an upright position, she stopped supporting herself and they both fell back into the water.

She laughed again. He looked incredibly funny, and although she doubted that she looked much better, soaking wet green hair does nothing for a person.

Pushing said hair out of his eyes, Garrett glared and splashed water at her.

Thus ensued a water fight.

They were soon joined by some of the other students who had the day off, and when noon finally came around it was a very wet bunch of students that made their way into the Entrance Hall, dripping all over the floors.

When the group were halfway across the Entrance Hall, the doors to the Great Hall burst open, and it was a veritable stampede of seventh years rushing out.

"Lil!"

Lily stopped and turned around, as a puddle formed at her feet, where her robes were dripping.

Lene pushed her way through the crowd and stood before her best friend.

"Now Lil," she said, as if explaining, "generally speaking, we don't go swimming in our robes."

Lily laughed and shook her head, spraying everyone around them with tiny droplets. "I got pushed in," she explained. "Then there was a huge water fight."

"By Doyle?"

Lily looked up, curiously, at Lene's tone. "Yes," she said slowly.

Lene shook her head.

"What!"

"It's almost like..." Lene paused, then her expression changed altogether. "Almost like you've got yourself a new best friend."

"Never!" Lily exclaimed. But she didn't elaborate, as both girls knew that Lene had not been truthful in her assumption, although Lily couldn't imagine what she had been going to say.

*

The sun was just beginning to slip down below the horizon, casting a soft, pink and orange glow through the windows of Gryffindor Tower. Students were, for the most part, relaxing. Fifth years were all rejoicing that their year of hell was over, first years were comparing how they had found the exams, and many of the others were enjoying one of the first nights all year without homework. All were slowing down, enjoying the last week of school with their friends.

"Lil!" Lene called from the bottom of the stairs. "We're going to dinner now!"

"Give me two seconds," she called back. Quickly, Lily grabbed a hair elastic and hurried down the stairs, pulling back her hair as she did so.

"Took you long enough," Lene said.

"Sorry. But it's over! I had to celebrate by flinging some of my Ancient Runes notes out of the window."

"Don't worry 'bout it. Your torture is over! Mine will be Monday! One more week and we're free forever!"

Lily grinned. Her NEWTs were officially over, and she couldn't have been happier.

"Come on," Lene said. "I'm starving."

On the way to the Great Hall, both girls were much more talkative than they had been in the past few months. NEWTs were nearly all over, and they were about to begin their lives in the real world.

"We have to rent a flat together," Lene said, for about the fortieth time.

"I know!" Lily replied again, for the fortieth time. "Right in London."

"Why d'you want to live in London so much? It's stock full of Muggles, it's dirty and rainy and horrible!"

Lily rolled her eyes. "Fine! Where do you want to live? Hm? Some little place no one's heard of in Kent?"

"No. But not London, either."

"I like cities. I'd never want to live in a place no one's heard of."

"That's the Muggle in you, Lil. Little places are better, because there's less chance of a Muggle catching you at magic."

Lily frowned. "I s'pose." She glanced behind them. "Lene? Where's Pat and everyone?"

"You took too long, they went down already."

"James didn't wait for me?"

Lene rolled her eyes. "No. Oh, that's right, you haven't seen him yet today. Just a warning - he's a bit... let's say off-colour. He's in a really bad mood. I think all the stress has finally caught up with him, and the Slytherin's were at it full force at lunch while you were changing, going on about - over the Cup again."

"So he's all down on himself again?"

"You could say that." Lene paused, and allowed herself a grin. "I can't believe you didn't hear." She laughed. "Aw, Lil, you should have been there. He got Snape right on the nose, it was beautiful."

"He didn't."

"He did. Only problem was, it was right as McGonagall came out of the Great Hall, so there was an office visit, of course."

Lily sighed. "Let's go eat."

"It was beautiful, Lil. He's been asking for it for weeks, mouthing off and always talking about - well, always talking."

Lily chose to not respond.

When they entered the Great Hall, Lily automatically looked around for James. She spotted him with Sirius, and by the looks on both their faces it was not a good time to interrupt whatever argument they were having.

"Lily!"

She stopped, and turned to see Garret Doyle coming towards her.

"Garret!" she called back.

"You saved my life with those notes," he said. Then, with a dramatic flair, "Thou hath mine eternal gratitude fair lady, how can I repay thee?" He took her hand and kissed it, rather ceremoniously, before laughing.

"You can start by speaking like it's not the year 1600," she laughed.

"I thought I could try the ancient Celtic stuff, but I still can't pronounce any of it, so I settled with just plain old."

Looking over his shoulder, she saw Peter come through the door. He looked over at her nervously, then skittered towards the Gryffindor table. Curious, Lily turned, and watched him approach James and Sirius, and lean over to say something to James.

"Something bothering you?"

Lily turned back to Garret and smiled. "It's nothing, I'm sure. We're just all really stressed out, that's it."

He nodded. "I know exactly how you feel. But thanks for the notes, really saved me there."

"No problem."

He nodded, and turned to go back to the Ravenclaw table.

Lily turned towards her own table, only to find herself face to face with a very irritated looking James Potter.

"What?" she asked, concernedly.

"Follow me," he ordered.

Her eyes narrowing at his tone of voice, Lily followed him out of the Hall and into one of the unused classrooms. He closed the door behind her, and Lily sat on one of the desks, waiting for what else he was so upset about.

He stared at her for several seconds, his face borderlining both rage and grief.

"Why?" he asked finally, in a strangled voice.

"Why what?" Lily replied calmly.

"You couldn't just tell me. Why didn't you just tell me, just break up with me? Why did you make me believe you loved me when - when the whole time..." James stopped suddenly, and threw over one of the desks in pure frustration.

Startled by this act of violence, Lily jumped.

"James, I have no idea what you're talking about!" she said desperately. "I do love you. Where did you get the idea that I don't?"

"Please," he spat, although he looked like he might cry. "Every time I look at you you're with him. I should have seen it before. You got him to teach you to play Quidditch, you rushed off to him after that attack. You're always studying with him! You went off to go swimming with him! Swimming, damn it! I JUST WATCHED YOU WITH HIM! That fucking Ravenclaw and his fucking green hair!" James was hysterical. He was flinging over every desk and chair he was in reach of.

Lily's eyes widened as she realised what he was talking about. "It's not true," she said in a small voice. "Garret's just my friend. He's just my friend, like Sirius and Remus and Peter. That's all. We studied together because we're friends. James you can't possibly think that- that I would ever..." she trailed off, determined not to cry.

"Yeah right. Peter saw you in Hogsmeade Lily. HE SAW YOU SNOGGING WITH HIM!"

Lily racked her memory, she couldn't recall having ever seen Garret in Hogsmeade besides just passing each other. There was no way she had ever even kissed him before. The whole idea was vaguely disgusting.

"James, he must have seen Garret with someone else, I've never met him in Hogsmeade before. I've never kissed him. Never. James, Peter must have been confused."

"HE'S ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS, HE WOULDN'T LIE TO ME!" James shouted.

"AND I WOULD?"

"IF YOUR'RE HIDING SOMETHING FROM ME!"

"YOU'RE BEING SO STUPID!"

"I thought you would be honest with me," James growled.

"I am being honest," Lily cried. "I love you!"

"You sure have a strange way of showing it."

"WELL WHEN YOU'RE ACTING LIKE THIS I'M NOT TOO SURE OF IT MYSELF!"

"SO YOU ADMIT IT!"

"WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!"

"I DON'T KNOW!"

"Well you'd better as hell decide Potter. I'm not going to put up with you accusing me of-"

"FINE. Until you're sure what you want you don't have to put up with me AT ALL!"

Now she was just mad. As he walked away, Lily did the first thing that her instincts told her to do. She jumped up, marched over to him, grabbed his shoulder to make him turn around, and slapped him across the face.

"How could you accuse me of that?" she demanded. "Do you honestly think that? Let me tell you something Potter - I've never had any feelings for Garret besides friendship. I think of him the same way as I think of Sirius. For some reason, I can't figure out why at the moment, I actually do love you. But that doesn't mean I have to put up with you accusing me of something you know I'd never do! I think it's you who has to figure out what you want."

Having successfully had the last word, Lily strode out of the room. Slamming the door behind her, she began to run, hoping to reach her dormitory before she was overtaken by sobs.

*

Peter nervously checked his watch yet again. It was ten minutes past two in the morning, only three minutes since he had last checked it. Prongs still wasn't back.

Padfoot was pacing around in circles, beginning to get worried. Prongs had disappeared sometime during dinner with Lily, but Lily was now crying in her dormitory with Lene, who had given Padfoot an earful over something incomprehensible, and Prongs was nowhere to be found. Padfoot was afraid that he would do something stupid. Although, he had added, whatever Prongs had said to put Lily in such a state must have been pretty stupid in itself.

Peter had his hangings closed, and was pretending to be asleep while Padfoot and Moony argued and worried and tried to figure out just what had happened, and where Prongs was.

He smiled. He knew what had happened - he had planned it. It had been the greatest plan of his career, and he had come up with some pretty good ones, although Padfoot had never allowed for any of them to actually come into effect, always having, "something better". It had also been the most difficult plan to put into effect - weeks of planting rumours, slipping discreet hints, even bribing Bellatrix, who had been more than happy to help.

Peter had never hated Lily until she had stolen Prongs. Until that October she had been quite nice - and had always been there as someone to annoy when they were bored. But that stupid little Mudblood had stolen Prongs from them. Prongs had never backed out of a prank before she came into it. He had never put anyone before his friends. He had never let anyone in on their secret, and there had been many close calls before Lily was attacked.. Maybe Padfoot and Moony were okay with the idea - and maybe Padfoot thought it was the joke of the century - but the fact remained that Prongs wasn't the same, and his friends had been bumped backwards on his list of priorities.

And Padfoot was even worse - he had started this whole stupid thing in the first place, when he started dating Gemma Wilkins in third year and a grand prank had to be postponed so that he could go have his first ever snog. They didn't have to be together to be brothers, Padfoot said, they were brothers even when they were going about separate lives.

Peter was sick of it.

He had been there for Prongs through everything. Everything, and yet he had never been first, or even second. It was always Padfoot. Always. Excepting a few months right after they found out that Moony was a werewolf, it was Padfoot. But now it was Lily...

And Padfoot was okay with that! And Moony thought it was great! Padfoot loved Lily, Moony thought she was perfect for Prongs. Why didn't they see?

They would thank him later. When Prongs came back, and everything was the same as it had always been, as it had been before girls got mixed up in it. Then Prongs would thank him. When they were all really truly brothers again. That's when Peter would get the recognition he deserved.

When they were brothers again.