Harry Potter and Mystery's Daughter

Lupin's Cottage

Sirius allowed himself to shed some more tears for the loss of his best friend and then collected himself. He went back out and wandered into the kitchen. Remus and Harry were carrying utensils out into the garden and laughing about something.

"What's so funny?"

Remus smiled at Harry as he opened the French door leading out into the garden.

"Harry here was just informing me about his friends Ron and Hermione. Of course you know them. Harry was just telling me about when he expected his friends to er, confess their feelings for each other".

Sirius cracked a huge grin.

"Couple of Gryffindor love birds huh? Reminds you of someone..."
Remus set the plates he was carrying down on the table and turned to face Harry and Sirius, his eyes alight with mischief.

"Oh god, Lily and James. Harry, you would have been properly ashamed of the way your father acted when he decided to go for Lily".

Harry felt his heart swell at the mention of his father and jumped on Remus for details.

"Why? What happened!"

Sirius shot a look at Remus who was laughing at the memory.

"Well Harry, James didn't know what to do. He was rather lost. James was all pro when it came to Quidditch, studies, and usually girls, but I don't know. Lily somehow escaped him. Sirius and I tried to persuade him to talk to her, or at least I vouched for the talking. Sirius here had it on good authority that Lily could be won over with some sort of spectacle or theatric. James thought it would be good to do something romantic. I agreed with him, but Sirius was still determined to make a fool of his friend. So he and Peter supplied James with a bag of Dungbombs that he set off in the middle of History of Magic. So in the midst of the confusion and the smoke, James comes up to Lily and kissed her right there with Sirius cheering him on and Peter and I trying to distract Professor Binns. James looked so lost! It was hilarious. Everyone was scrambling to get their bearings and James...anyways, Binns found them and gave them both detentions. This happened back in fourth year, so Lily was scared this would impact her chances for becoming Prefect. She was absolutely furious and probably would have hexed James later that night if he didn't have Quidditch. So, here's where is gets romantic. Sirius would like to take it from here?"

Sirius had a wicked look on his face and he ran his hand through his hair.

"Alright. So Binns didn't have any work for them to do because, hey, does he ever have anything to do? So he sent them to Professor Phlotem, our herbology teacher, and she had them prune the live rose bushes. Now these roses can bite you, not like the ones the muggles have. So there they are working, James desperately thinking of some way to patch up his friendship with Lily, while she was silent and furiously clipping the roses. In her haste, her dear hand was bitten, quite badly as I remember and she wanted to go to Madam Pomfrey but she didn't want to miss her detention. So she's sitting there, blinking back tears and James comes up behind her-"

"Wait Sirius, where you there?"

"Well little Prongs, I had to see what happened so I pulled on James' invisibility cloak and watched them. Turned out to be a good show. Anyways, James comes up behind her and pulls her hand towards him. She tries to snatch her hand back but James doesn't let her. He puts his thumb over the wound and Lily yelled out because the bloody thing's hurting her, and James did the gentleman thing. He kissed it. Well that just melted Lily. She started crying and James kissed her hand again and then he leans in, and bam! They started snogging and after twenty minutes I decided to leave, because for one, they didn't look like letting up, and two, it was getting a little too mature for my innocent eyes".

Remus snorted and Harry started. He'd been thinking about his father and his mother. How their relationship started. How James wasn't so self-assured for once and was even like Harry when it came to ask Cho to the Yule Ball.

"Please Sirius. You had already snogged with plenty of girls by the time James had gotten around to Lily. Innocent..."

"Oh Remus. Don't be bitter 'cause you could never get a date!"

"Oh I'm not bitter. You should be for ever setting your eyes on Miss Sarah Langer".

Sirius' eyes lit up with anger and he shot off at Remus and started running around the garden. Harry watched them with a smile and suppressed laughter. Sirius was positively livid and was shouting insults and threats while Remus laughed at the top of his lungs while narrowly escaping Sirius' grasp. Suddenly Sirius stopped and as if he suddenly realized what he was doing, he quickly turned into a dog and ran to the house doorway. Remus also stopped, taking in deep breathes and walking over to Harry.

"It's alright, Sirius, there isn't anyone around for about a mile".

Sirius popped back into his form but stayed in the shadows of the door.

"Yea, but you never know", he said gruffly.

Remus rolled his eyes slightly and beckoned Sirius over.

"I have wards around the house and I would know if someone was coming. Besides you aren't going to ruin Harry's first lunch here by being so cautious are you? Don't want to give him the wrong impression of you."

Remus kept his serious face on, hiding his smile as he knew Sirius couldn't resist anything to do with Harry. Remus turned to Harry expecting to see a smile on his face, but he only saw a small frown. As soon as Harry caught Remus looking at him, he hitched his face into a grin.

"Are we ready to eat? I've haven't had breakfast".

Sirius and Harry dug into the potatoes, but Remus excused himself into the house to get the pumpkin juice. Good job Remus. You really have this whole hurt Harry thing under wraps, no? Bringing up that story? You couldn't have just shut Sirius up? Damn git...never knew when to close his mouth. Not like it ever got him in trouble. Just try to keep Harry from going insane for the rest of his vacation...maybe it wasn't a good idea not to let him to go the Arthur's.

Remus, deep in thought, went outside with a jug of juice and sat down at the head of the table. He was so absorbed in his thoughts that he didn't notice the complete silence on either side of him. He snapped out of his reverie and looked at Harry on his left and Sirius on his right. Remus was fully aware of the birds chirping and the tiny lake in the background, almost hidden by the ferns on the bank. His mother's garden was still in bloom all around him and as peaceful as it was, he couldn't help feeling uneasy. He cleared his throat and only Sirius looked at him, blankly and also expectantly.

"Well Harry...is there anything you want to do while you're here?"

Harry didn't answer and was still munching on his piece of chicken. His deep green eyes were full of depth and yet looked so hollow and empty at the same time.

"Harry?" Sirius was now staring at his godson, with a concerned look on his face. Harry suddenly looked towards Sirius with another one of those fake smiles attached to his face.

"Sorry, drifted for a moment".

Remus put down his fork and leaned forward.

"Harry would you rather go stay with Ron?"

Harry shot his face towards Remus, his eyes now edging with anger.

"Why?"

"I just- it seems that you aren't happy".

"I can't go stay with Ron. It would- strain things".

"Harry what could it possibly strain? You haven't done anything...I mean, you guys haven't fought have you?"

Harry stood up quickly, his breath becoming deeper.

"What wouldn't I strain? I make trouble everywhere I go! Percy is having problems with his family for siding with Fudge, Mr. Weasley is tired and doesn't come home anymore, Ginny is scared, Mrs. Weasley is frightened...all because of me! I don't need to go somewhere where I cause trouble. I'm done with that".

Harry started storming away, down towards the lake and Sirius gave Remus a look and ran after him. He caught up to Harry and turned him around by his shoulders.

"Look Harry. You have done nothing. Ah! I mean it".

Harry had been about to scoff and tell Sirius but Sirius started talking louder, drowning out Harry's interruptions.

"Listen to me...nothing is your fault. You can't strain things because there is nothing you could strain".

Harry looked daggers with him, and with Seeker speed, tried to turn and run. But for naught had Sirius watched James thousands times, quick as lightning, on his nimbus 750. Sirius grabbed him around the shoulders and Harry struggled, his glasses flying off. His hair was even more all over the place and Sirius could feel Harry's skin shaking, and humming with some unseen force.

"Let go of me Sirius!"

But Sirius only patiently held on while Harry kept thrashing.

"I said let me go! This is my fault! It's all my goddamn fault! Everything...I cause pain! I cause sorrow! I'm the reason the Diggory's can never see their son grow up, and the reason that Neville's parents are INSANE! Hell Sirius, I'm the reason you don't have a best friend anymore!"

Sirius let go of him at once and Harry staggered back, looking down at the ground. He could hardly believe his ears. Harry's voice had reached new heights and his legs were shaking. His voice wavered and threatened to give in to tears, but Harry fought. Harry felt like he was losing control, and he couldn't do that. Harry snapped his head up, his green eyes full and unnerving Sirius. He could feel anger coursing through him again. He knew he couldn't suppress it but he still tried to contain the rage. His blood boiled, stirred on by a bitter knife.

"Yea Sirius that's right. Ever wonder why you're a FUCKING CONVICT? Don't you ever think about why you spent 12 years in prison on charges of murdering your best friends? It's my fault! Everything is always my fault! I'm always at the center of things; I'm always in the middle! I can't get away and everything is my fault! Ever wonder why Ron stopped talking to me for a month? It's because I get everything! Everything happens to me, and I can't stop it. I can't. I never will be able to. There's always this shadow following me and I can escape it. I'm sick of running away from the fact that I'm the reason people get hurt and feel pain".

"Harry-" Sirius began weakly, still stunned by what he was hearing. Is Harry in this much pain?? How could I have missed it...?"

"And you know what? I'm sick of losing out on everything. I'm sick of having to live with the Dursleys instead of my parents. I want them back! I WANT THEM BACK!"

Harry's rage was almost tangible and Sirius was somewhat awed. He just watched Harry and out of the corner of his eye he could see Remus with his hand gripped tight on his chair, his face oddly slack. Sirius looked Harry as his battle seemed to reach a climax and he started to break.

"I'm sick of having substitutes. I'm sick of needing to have an excuse to find out about my mum and dad! I want to hear it from them! I don't want Dumbledore or Mr. and Mrs. Weasley or Remus or You! I want my mum and dad! It's my fault they're gone. I don't know why but I can feel it! I WANT MY MUM AND DAD! DO YOU HEAR ME? I WANT THEM BACK? GIVE THEM BACK! IT'S MY- FAULT! GIVE- THEM - BACK!"

Harry's tears finally started flowing as he truly grieved for his parents. He fell to the ground in a heap still shouting muffled desires. He lied cradled on the ground gripping his hair and starting to shove at his eyes to stop the tears. Harry what are you doing! They're going to know! Suck it up...they can't find out how weak you are. Why are you crying? You never cried before...there's no one here for you to cry to. Don't start--

"Harry...I am here. Don't keep it in".

Harry started in his crying and looked wildly around him. That voice...it sounded so much like..."Lily! Take Harry and go! It's him! Harry gulped and his heart leapt- he was sure he was here. He had heard Harry's call...Harry saw a head of black hair and eagerly snatched at it and snapped out to see Sirius looking down at him.

"Wh- what did you just say?"

Sirius feel to his knees, his hands pulling Harry closer. He looked so concerned and full of disbelief.
"I didn't say anything, Harry".

Harry looked at Sirius and then madly around the garden, his tears obscuring his vision. He saw Remus standing by the table...where was he!

"Harry, who are you looking for?"

"My- my dad! He was here!"

Sirius gulped and looked at the tangled mess beneath him. He could feel his throat tightening as he said, "Harry- James isn't here".

"No...no he isn't".

Harry's tears started to fall again as he looked at the ground dejected, his heart feeling wrenched again. But this time he could feel Sirius' arms around him, protecting him from the world. He knew he finally had someone to give in to, but it would be a long time before Harry understood the voice.