Love, Marriage and Politics in the 1800s

Nothing great in the world has ever been accomplished without passion (GWF Hegel)

Knowledge is power (proverb)

These parties had become so dreadfully boring. When you are a young man of eighteen with more than a few sips of wine down your throat, these little gatherings of people whom normally you would rather poke your own eyes out than be seen with, are the greatest things known to mankind. In the hazy blur created by fine red wine any girl become a goddess; any man becomes a friend for life. At eighteen Phineas had been a flirt, promising every Lucilla, Cornelia and Astrid there was still an opening for the grand title of Mrs Phineas Nigellus Black. At twenty-seven Phineas was still unmarried and had no plans to be so in the foreseeable future. It took a very sobering experience aged twenty-two with a halfblood girl named Shirley with long blonde frizzy hair and a gap between her two front teeth for Phineas to tire of the endless drinks and inane chatter that these parties had become.

The same thing happened at every single one. Old married couples bemoaned the fact that he had not continued on his father's good name, "Phineas, still unmarried, eh? Never mind, I hear the Averys have a daughter, bit younger than you but quite the pretty little thing if you don't mind the mole." Then there came the conversations from previously interesting people who had married and now lived the lives of hermits in Hampshire: "I would go for a few drinks, old boy, but you see Marie doesn't like me going to London so much. Thinks that Mudblood bandits might attack me. I told her I could give them the old Crucio but you know what women are like. Maybe next month." He now avoided them like the plague and either went to the Clover Gentlemen's Club in Covent Gardens or entertained at home.

The only reason he'd even come to this party was that his mother had demanded that he should go to show some support for his cousin. Phineas had laughed for around three days when it had been announced that Miss Clementina Black was to be married to some chap from the Rosier family. The poor sod would spend the rest of his life being nagged at by a horse-faced woman with a terrible dress sense and the most unattractive breasts. It had taken a quick, sharp shock, courtesy of his mother's well-aimed Impedimenta spell, that had convinced him, along with her moaning that his father had never given her "an heir and a spare." So here he was, forced out of his own home to be paraded in front of increasingly ugly women by a deranged, social climbing lunatic who was, by great misfortune, his mother.

The room was making Phineas dizzy and queasy. Clearly the Rosier family had bypassed subtlety altogether and gone for a headache-inducing, violent shade of purple on the walls, charmingly (or so they thought) contrasting with heavy gold borders and a startlingly white ceiling, on which a rather tasteless fresco of naked cherubs in the heavens was painted at the centre. So far this evening Clementina had squawked into his ear for what felt like three hours about her wedding plans and how marvellous the Rosier family home was and what a lucky girl she was. Her unlucky husband-to-be, an ineffectual-looking man with mousy brown hair, pale blue eyes and a vacant stare, had stood peering at Clementina like she was a mildly interesting potion. Despite being introduced, Phineas still did not know his name and so christened him Bob. For however long it was Phineas had endured Clementina's screeching about her nuptials and her description of the plans for a truly hideous description of a lime green room with a bright yellow ceiling that would be the nursery. He had felt his face slip into an aghast expression as she beamed at this horrific room that would no doubt torture future generations of the Rosier family for years to come. Bob, throughout this whole nightmarish ordeal, had smiled haphazardly and beamed at Clementina, who had clung to him like a limpet. After excusing himself for what would have been a polite amount of time, he virtually ran from them and pushed his way through the crowd of people. This was worse than most social gatherings Phineas had endured; overpowering perfume mixed with stale sweat and voices merged into one huge drone that spun around his head and drove him on until he reached the edge of the room and collapsed against the cool wall. He placed his burning cheek against the welcome coldness and closed his eyes to block the purple that threatened to make his eyeballs implode.

"Good God, this room is hideous."

Phineas forced his eyes open and turned to look towards where this lone voice of sanity had come from. To his delight it was a young woman, and a very beautiful one at that. His eyes trailed over her dark hair and pale skin, following down to her plump body and finally settling on her heaving chest. At that spilt second moment Phineas had the urge to run over to her and bury is head in her breasts and stay there for a very long time, but with great difficulty he resisted and forced his eyes up to her face. She looked at him, an eyebrow raised and an amused smile playing on her lips.

"I am not an object that is here to be ogled at, Sir. That would imply that I am a whore and I assure you that as a girl from a good family, I am most definitely not a whore."

His mind went blank as she took a sip from the goblet of wine in her hand. She stared with a mild expression of disgust into the depths of the wine and looked around quickly before pouring into the nearest potted plant. Realising that unless he wanted her to think of him as either stupid or unable to speak, Phineas regained his composure and stood up straight.

"I understand what you mean. The plant is now looking worse for the wear now that that foul concoction was thrown into it. I can also assure you that you have in no way given me the impression that you are a slut of any kind." He grinned and took a slight step towards her. "Phineas Nigellus, formerly Black."

She gave him her hand to kiss and he gently pressed his lips to the cool pale blue satin glove. Her hand fell to her side and she flicked open her fan and began to gently waft it in front of her face, coquettishly peering at him as the fan fell and rose gently, creating the slightest of breezes that moved the white rose that was attached to her dress.

"Regina Earnshaw. Well, Mr Nigellus. Now that I have had the pleasure of meeting you, I wonder if I could possibly become more acquainted with you, as from the looks of things I will be forced into spending time with your lovely family member describing her delightful plans for the house once she is married. I think I may becoming a nuisance." Regina cast a glance at Phineas and peered inquisitively at him. It appeared to him that she was seeing how far she could go in her remarks about Constantina's unusual sense of decorating. Had Phineas felt any loyalty to his cousin, he would have told her to sod off but seeing that he didn't, that Regina was a lovely person with spectacular breasts and that fact that he agreed with her meant that he found himself suggesting that they leave the hustle of the purple room and go to the slightly less nauseating blue room. He wandered out the intimidating white door and pushed it open, held the door open for Regina, who murmured a thank you and led the way, leaving Phineas to follow her trail and head into the of the dark blue inner sanctuary of the next room.

Regina turned and regarded Phineas from behind her fan, which she waved close to her face to hide a blush that was threatening to creep up her face. It was quite embarrassing really, the other men that Clementina had dragged her in front of appeared to be have born to families where inbreeding had been prominent for the past two hundred years at least. She could have sworn one of them had slightly crossed eyes. So this handsome man, with his sly little looks and funny little beard, was a pleasure to be with. His voice was slightly too high and reedy for her tastes but then again she'd grown up in a Northern family and her father's and brothers' voices had been deep and drenched in an accent, so most accents outside that seemed unusual. He appeared to like her, too, which was always a good sign according to her mother. Regina wondered if it was a good sign that he was focusing on her chest for long periods. It appeared to her that her breasts held a certain attraction for men. She'd mentioned this to her mother who'd said "One day love, you'll know that having a large pair can do for you when you're married." Still, they were something of a burden and she'd received various comments about her weight; Marianne Lucas in Gryffindor had called her fat at school but then again Marianne looked like the back end of a broomstick so who was she to judge? Then there had been the nasty friend of her brother's who at her father's fortieth decided it would be fun to place his hand on her backside throughout the night. He wasn't laughing when she'd turned round and smacked him in the mouth; they'd had to call a medi-witch in to stop the bleeding. Still Phineas didn't look the lecherous sort; he actually made the attempt to look at her in the face. It was after this train of thought had been broken when Regina realised she'd let the conversation lapse into silence. She opened her mouth to say something stupid about his job and so on when he spoke first.

"So, how do you know my cousin? She's never mentioned you before, not that she mentions many people who aren't Bob or herself."

"From school. We were in Ancient Runes together. Who's Bob, have I met him?"

Regina saw Phineas grin at her and look through the open door to where Clementina was loudly braying about her upcoming wedding plans and flitting from group to group like the social, but rather plain, butterfly she was. More like a social moth, if she was going to be honest. Her husband-to-be was trailing behind her, a look of awe on his face as he was surrounded by hordes of women yelling about wedding dresses. Turning back to look at Phineas, she saw him nod with an expression of amusement on his face.

"Oh. You mean Threapon Rosier? I see. It means servant or worshipper in Greek, you know?" She turned her gaze back to Threapon, who was staring at Clementina with an expression of wonderment on his face. "Good name for him."

"Very true. Did you learn that in Ancient Runes? I don't expect you did. Much more likely to learn it in the subject I teach."

"You teach? How marvellous. What do you teach those children, Phineas?"

Inexplicably, he jumped onto a table and pulled out his wand and waved at the mahogany table, twirling his wand and making ludicrous faces. Did all men do this in front of women or was it just him? Either way Regina felt a thrill run up through her as she watched his lean body twist, and waved her fan again to her hide the blush that had arisen in her cheeks again. Perhaps this is what men do to seduce young girls into their beds. Then again wouldn't he have already lunged? Her grandmother's thought echoed around her head: "when you start courting, make sure the lad keeps his thing for weeing with." It was shocking really, hearing a seventy-year-old woman come out with that. Again her train of thought was interrupted by Phineas' reedy voice, that she was beginning to grow quite fond of, though she had no idea why.

"I teach History of Magic. Children don't appreciate the finer qualities of the subject. The gruesome battles between trolls and the bitter fights between ancient wizards," he jumped off the table and strode towards her, placing his wand away and sunk to his knees beside her, taking her hand in his and kissing it before clutching it tightly. "Entire wars fought over a woman." Regina felt her mouth go slightly dry as they looked at each other and moved slightly to dispel the sensation in the pit of her stomach.

"I never really listened. Maybe I might have if I'd have had a teacher jumping on our desks."

"Oh, I never do that in front of the children. I don't jump on desks for just anyone."

He grinned at her and Regina felt her insides collapse as he suddenly reached towards the top of her arm and slowly pulled down her glove and eventually slipped it off. She let on involuntary shudder as he gently kissed the wrist near her palm and lightly ran his lips up her arms, planting gentle kisses as her moved further up her arm. (that sentence is a bit clunky, you might want to rephrase it) Regina sank into her chair and let out a small gasp as Phineas moved the top of her dress and began to kiss her shoulders, nipping her gently with his teeth and moving his arm so that it was around her waist. She shifted so that she turned to face him and he moved from kissing her shoulders to sitting up and lightly kissing her mouth. This wasn't her first kiss, that had been years ago, but she knew well enough not to let him thank that his hands could wonder. This thought fresh in her mind, she pulled away and took his hand in hers, to show there was no malice in her actions. His face did not show any traces of anger, more of a sly grin that mischievous little boys use.

"Why Regina, of course I know that you are not a whore."

She tutted at this remark and playfully went to cuff his ear, aiming her left hand for the side of his head. He ducked quickly and grabbed her hand, engaging her in a enjoyable little tussle that knocker the silver ornament out of her hair and sent it skidding along the floor. He mumbled an apology and stood up, before walking to the door where the ornament lay. He bent down to pick it up when Clementina burst in, followed by the hapless Threapon and began to loudly chide them for their disappearance and to tell them of the wonderful idea about the Slytherin green bathroom, complete with live snakes in cages. Too involved in her own ideas, she never noticed the barely suppressed laughter of red-faced Regina, Phineas sitting by the door, dazed from where Clementina had smacked the door into his forehead and the discarded blue glove that had been dropped in the middle of the floor. The blue glove explained a lot of things; at least it did if a person bothered to look beyond lime green nurseries and other hideous designs.