A Little Spark In the Powderhouse

A Little Spark in the Powder house.--Chapter 2

Snape´s train of thought at the moment was quite simple, for a man famous for his wit. It consisted of an endless barrage of curses directed to the Scintilla, Longbottom, and Potter. An overwhelming urge to strike something fast rising.

"Calm down Severus",

The Little Voice in the back of his head implored. `This isn´t worth it. You let them see you lose your cool once and they´ll never fear you again."

"Depends on what you call losing your cool though,"

he replied, losing his train of thought. "Oh great, now I´m going insane. Talking back to myself mentally."

The quintet behind Snape seemed petrified, full of fear over the potion´s possible dangerous effects, their enraged professor, or a combination of both.

Snape walked to a case of specimens and lifted an inconspicuous, fluted bottle filled with an oily liquid. This caused a bare section of the wall to slide aside , exposing a previously hidden hallway.

The idea of any student being led into his personal quarters irked him like no other; however, Snape´s animosity greatly receded at the thought of having to write five letters stating:

Dear Sir/Madame,

Your son/daughter has been killed in by a potion

of unknown qualities while in my class.

My Deepest Regards,

Severus Snape

Potions

Master

Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

They were all too soaked with said potion to simply perform a drying spell and be done with it. Yet, while that would have seemed to been the logical choice of action, they still had to remove the taint of the potion´s magic. Running water would suffice, and mere pitcher of water wouldn´t do, so alas he had to take them to his quarters. The closest showerhead relevant to his classroom.

With a sigh he led the students down the hallway. Five pairs of eyes grew wide at the prospect of getting to see where their professor dwelled and living to tell the tale.

A little ways down the hall opened into a simple room containing a fire place with a desk perpendicular to it, a hunter green sofa facing a window, a four poster bed a bit larger than the typical student´s made of deep brown-red cherry wood with silver and green bedding, another hallway branched off from the middle of the room opposite the window, it was flanked on the left by an wooden armoire and on the right by a door.

Longbottom looked longingly at the sofa, his eyes slightly glazing over. He took a step in it´s direction.

"Don´t sit down, and don´t touch anything," Snape growled before sliding his robe off. He rolled up the sleeves of his black oxford shirt and rummaged through the armoire.

Five sets of black robes were placed one by one on the corner of the armoire´s open door. Once all five were placed, Snape gathered them and handed one to each student, receiving quizzical looks in return for his trouble.

He scowled, "You´ve got to get that slime out of contact with yourselves. I´m not certain of what effects if might have."

"But it was just an Adflictatio-Cesso," Miss Granger said nervously.

"Ten points from Gryffindor for your ignorance. Nothing Mr. Longbottom touches turns out the way it should." He decided to leave them in the dark about the Scintilla, and its previously unknown properties-better to avoid total chaos.

***

Back in Snape´s classroom, the Scintilla had climbed to the top of Snape´s desk and decided to take a nap on open Potions Handbook after it´s bout of extreme climbing. As Snape´s next class, which consisted of Gryffindor and Slytherin first years, began filing in one little Gryffindor girl took a look at the desk and promptly screamed -

"Professor Snape´s been turned into a spider!"

A few students dropped what they were carrying in utter disbelief. One Gryffindor boy put his hands together as though praying, looked at the ceiling and muttered what sounded like a `thank you´.

The loud noise woke the Scintilla up and the spider glanced around. Upon seeing the little girl it started waving its legs menacingly at her. This calmed the students down, the Slytherins anyway. One of them came forward and timidly asked, "Professor Snape, can you understand us?"

The Scintilla hissed in reply.

"Someone should find Dumbledore, You-know-who might have turned Professor Snape into this!"

"Right, I´ll go," One of the Slytherin boys said, dashing from the room. The Scintilla hissed like a tea kettle and started weaving from side to side, in addition to its leg waving.

"I think he wants our attention."

"Look, I think he´s pointing at something," the speaker gestured at an airborne leg, which happened to land repeatedly on a bit of text. The closest person, a little Slytherin girl, leaned in closer to see what it was.

"It says, `Exploding Fluid.´"

***

"One would think that the stress of the moment has turned their brains to walnuts by the way those bloody kids are starting at me,

" Snape thought contemptuously. They seemed to have a hard time registering the fact that they had to wash the potion off.

"Don´t tell me you can´t wash yourselves."

Five heads shook slowly sideways.

"What about our clothes?" Not-Quite-Miss-Know-It-All-Anymore asked.

Had there not been five witnesses present, Snape would have smacked himself upside the head and hoped he knocked himself out. A garden variety scowl worked better.

"Just set them aside. The house elves will clean them later. You didn´t think my own robes were a souvenir, did you?"

Again with the head shaking.

"Good, there are towels in the bathroom if you don´t know any drying spells. Just get the mess off and don´t take so long."

The students stared at each other as though silently figuring out who would shower first. Finally Miss Granger stepped back a little, and looked up nervously.

"I´ll go first."

"Don´t tell me, just get in there!" He snapped in reply.

Miss Granger flushed slightly, but it was barely noticeable under the layers of grey slime. She walked to the bathroom never taking her eyes off the others, as though silently warning them not to spy on her.

"You wish Miss Granger. As for the others, well, it would be amusing to see them try, and get hit in the heads by the door. Might do them some good."

"What are we going to do while she´s in there?" Malfoy asked.

"Wait," Snape replied, and added as soon as he saw Longbottom looking at the couch fondly, "Standing up!"

A faint sound, like a boom, echoed through the room. What was that? A quick glance showed the boys hadn´t heard the strange noise. Snape swore under his breath, hoping the potion didn´t have any hallucinogenic properties.

***

"What is going on here?" Professor McGonagall demanded as she entered the dungeon, the Slytherin boy who had gone for help in tow.

The class looked up at her guiltily. One cauldron had already blown up and its owner was lying unconscious beside it.

"Professor Snape turned into a spider," came the unanimous reply.

"Rubbish," McGonagall said firmly, but she looked over Snape´s desk just the same. And there was the Scintilla, who was now having a fit over the rude disturbance of its nap. The Headmistress paled considerably and slowly approached the desk.

"...Severus?"

"Pwish."

"Stay right there Severus. I´ll go get Albus. You lot, stay right where you are! And for Merlin´s sake, forget the potions!" She swept out of the room quickly, still dragging the Slytherin boy behind her.

***

Miss Granger took thirty minutes in the shower, when she came out she had a towel tied turban-like around her head. She had also re-sized the robe Snape had given her.

"Obviously, you misunderstood me when I said not to take too long. Ten points from Gryffindor!"

"Sorry, sir. I got a little carried away."

An extremely perverted thought went through Snape´s head at after hearing that. But he was feeling venomous enough to sneer and add, "My bathroom is not a spa, Miss Granger!" to his earlier rant.

Meanwhile, the other Gryffindors were fuming over the injustice of taking points away due to the length of a shower, so no one noticed Malfoy slip into the bathroom next.

After a few minutes Snape was back in the real world. Longbottom was looking out the window, Miss Granger was sitting on the couch, engrossed in a "Potions Monthly" magazine, and Potter and Weasley were......leaning up against the bathroom door?

That was interesting and could be expected if Miss Granger were in there, but certainly not Malfoy. He walked over to them and scowled, hoping for an explanation.

Potter and Weasley looked at him in shock for a minute. Then Weasley held a finger up to his lips and pointed at the door. Snape rolled his eyes, motioning them aside, and leaned against the door. Beyond the hiss of the shower he heard something...

"Hmmm mbmpff hbpffmm."

Snape leaned in a little closer to hear the muffled voice.

"To the extreme I rock a mike like a vandal,

Light up a stage and wax a chump like a candle.

Dance.

Bum rush the speaker that booms,

I'm killin´ your brain like a poisonous mushroom.

Deadly, when I play a dope melody.

Anything less than the best is a felony.

Love it or leave it,

You better gain way.

You better hit bull's eye.

The kid don't play.

If there was a problem,

Yo, I'll solve it.

Check out the hook while my DJ revolves it.

Ice, Ice, Baby, Vanilla

Ice, Ice, Baby.."

Potter and Weasley were now openly cracking up, and he would be, as well, if he didn´t stop the boy.

He rapped on the door, then barked, "Malfoy, do refrain from sharing the Number One song on your Hit List! And hurry up!"

Malfoy made a sound that sounded like he was choking in reply. Snape shooed Potter and Weasley away from the door and went back to the armoire. Less than five minutes later Malfoy was out, his once pale face a remarkable shade of red and in Snape´s resized dress robes.

Just to piss the Gryffindors off and to see if Malfoy´s face could get any redder, Snape awarded the Slytherin five points because he had been singing in tune. While Potter and Weasley fumed over that recent exchange he motioned Malfoy over.

"Where did you learn that?"

The young Slytherin´s eyes shifted to see if any of the Gryffindors were spying on them, then said in a painfully quiet voice, "My father."

Snape brushed him away with a sombre face; cast the strongest locking spells he knew on the door, summoned the student´s wands away from them, stepped into the armoire, cast a silencing, and proceeded to laugh himself sick at the image of Lucius Malfoy singing a Muggle tune in the shower.

By the time he got out Potter and Weasley had already finished their showers and Longbottom was occupying the lavatory. The four newly-washed students looked at their professor questioningly as he stepped out of the armoire.

"What?" he snapped.

With a jump they went back to what they had been doing.

"Thank goodness Longbottom doesn´t have the same affect on shower heads that he does on cauldrons,

" Snape thought reassuringly.

The boy obviously didn´t know any re-sizing spells and looked like an inkblot with a round, blonde head as he stepped out of the lavatory in Snape´s voluminous black robe. However, his surrogate mother, Miss Granger cast one for him with a sigh.

At last it was Snape´s turn. He made sure the student´s wands were locked firmly in the armoire before stepping into the washroom. Before disappearing in he gave the students a look that dared, `Go ahead, try to escape.´

Afterward, the Potions professor would try to explain what it could mean to be drenched in an unknown potion. Though they were safe for the moment it could always have affected them before they washed it off. He wondered if the students could manage not to fly off the handle. He did hate hysterics.