Outward Appearances

Chapter 15: Toilets and Answers

Lily's eyes flew open.

Shoving the tangled sheets away from her, she leapt up and ran for the bathroom, crashing through the door and dropping to her knees. Lily immediately leaned over the toilet and threw up.

When she was finished, she shuddered and collapsed onto the cold floor.

If she remembered correctly, this was the final effect of that damn Humeris potion. She supposed this was the "emptying of the body system of any remaining fragments of whatever it was counteracting." Wasn't that how Tilandi had described it?

In other words...

This was not going to be pleasant.

Damn.

Lily barely had time to take a shaky breath before Marcella burst in. Seeing the look on her pale face, Lily quickly moved as far away from the toilet as possible before Marcella leaned over it and began to heave.

Lily grimaced and closed her eyes. She lay down and rested her head against the tile. Minus the headache that was thankfully lacking, this was strangely reminiscent of an oh--too--familiar hangover.

Marcella collapsed next to her with a moan. "Are we in hell?" she mumbled.

"Yeah," Lily replied without hesitation. Actually, the real hell would be when Professor McGonagall arrived. Naturally, Madam Pomfrey would have informed her about this interesting turn of events. What could be better than having a furious McGonagall rant at you while you were heaving up all of your internal organs?

Suddenly feeling the horrible urge, Lily leapt up and threw herself back over the toilet.

"That is so disgusting," Marcella groaned.

When she had the opportunity, Lily raised her head long enough to glare at the sickly blonde. But before she could muster up a sarcastic response, Marcella's eyes suddenly widened, and she leapt up and shoved Lily out of the way.

Okay, it was disgusting.

Lily moaned and dropped back onto the floor. God, this sucked.

"Why didn't they just kill me?" Marcella whined, carefully lying back down.

"They're sadists," Lily said bitterly, only half joking. If there were any mercy in these authority figures, they would have killed her while she slept. God, why didn't they?

"I see that you're both awake."

Lily squinted up at Madam Pomfrey, who was now standing in the doorway with a sour expression on her face.

"Madam--" she managed before her throat constricted and she needed to lean back over the toilet.

"You're lucky to be throwing up and not dead," the older woman snapped, as if the girls had vocally complained. Lily resisted the urge to groan. Apparently the lecturing wasn't over.

"Being in your sixth year, at the best school of magic in the world, well, you would think that you'd be smart enough not to stick suspicious things in your mouth," she continued.

Lily's first instinct was to clarify that they hadn't exactly found the chocolates on the ground. But the woman was currently holding Lily's hair away from her face, so it really wouldn't have been appropriate.

"They were a gift," Marcella said weakly.

"From who?" Madam Pomfrey instantly demanded, leaning over Lily to flush the toilet.

Marcella sent Lily a startled look. "Err..."

"Well?"

Conveniently, Marcella was suddenly seized with the need to knock Lily out of the way for the second time that morning. Madam Pomfrey wasn't deferred though. She turned to Lily, hands on hips, and repeated, "Well?"

Lily considered her response carefully. Marcella's hesitation probably meant that she was worried about protecting Camille, which could have been the first intelligent thought to ever enter the blonde's head. Now, what to say? "An-- uh, admirer. Err--a secret. One, that is." Oh, geez.

Madam Pomfrey stared at her, and Lily cursed herself inwardly. Since when did she have trouble lying? She'd delivered several on--the--spot lies quite well in the past. Well, she thought that they were good at the time...

"And you both said that you'd never heard of Melancholy Cures?"

"Of course not," Lily said earnestly, hopefully sounding as innocent as possible.

"So, a mysterious package containing edible substances arrives at your window, out of nowhere, with no clue to who the sender is? Am I right so far?"

"Yes," she said cautiously.

Madam Pomfrey smirked. "So, rather than inform your head of house so that the chocolates could have been inspected first, you both instead chose to immediately stuff ten of them into your mouths?"

Oh, well, Lily's story sounded bad in that tone of voice. And ten was an exaggeration. It had been more like four. Well, six in Lily's case. Or seven... Hmn...

Shaking her head, Madam Pomfrey pulled a band out of her apron and moved to secure Marcella's hair. "I swear I'd knock Sieranda Smiltine over the head with a broom if I could for inventing those blasted candies," she muttered.

Lily looked up in alarm.

"Why she hasn't been investigated by the Ministry yet, is beyond me," Madam Pomfrey continued, seemingly unaware of her supposedly uninformed charges.

Lily shook her head in astonishment. Sieranda invented Melancholy Cures? Her Sieranda? The woman whose pet snake had probably already cured Hogsmeade of any rat or small pet problems it may have had before Christophe Verna got it into his thick head that an anaconda was a spectacular token of affection?

"Well, when you two are quite finished, you'll join me out here," she ordered before vacated the bathroom.

Lily would have shaken her head in amazement if it weren't for the possible consequences. The fact that Madam Pomfrey knew Sieranda Smiltine was news in itself, but why hadn't Sieranda ever mentioned that she had invented hallucinogenic candies?

Okay, once she truly thought about it, Melancholy Cures seemed like exactly the kind of thing that Sieranda would invent. Crazy wench.

She was about to stand up and join Madam Pomfrey, when she had to throw up again. It was her turn to shove Marcella out of the way, and she really couldn't be blamed if she felt some slight pleasure at the girl's cry of indignation. But then she was too disgusted with herself to appreciate it.

Lily wiped her sleeve across her mouth, and then drew her legs up and wrapped her arms around them. She rested her forehead against her knees and bit her lip. When she left this bathroom she would have to face James. She squeezed her eyes shut. Why? Why couldn't someone else have found her-- anyone else? Hell, even Deidlan Domerly would have been preferable. Humiliation burned within her. All those things she told James... Oh, God.

"Do you think we'll get expelled?" Marcella asked, her voice small.

"Of course not," Lily said tiredly. Of all the things that she'd done-- not the least of which being sneaking out of the castle somewhat regularly and smoking on school grounds-- the very idea that she would finally be expelled over this was ludicrous. "Students have done worse," was all she said, though.

"Oh. You're right, of course," Marcella said, sounding relieved.

Lily opened her eyes and glanced over at her. It suddenly occurred to her that she couldn't remember Marcella being brought in.

"Who brought you in?" she asked curiously.

"Mundungus," she replied, smiling slightly. "He's actually stronger than he looks."

Lily blinked in surprise. Mundungus carried Marcella? Up all those stairs? She resisted the urge to whistle. Granted, the girl was thin and only came up to about Lily's chin, but damn. Bravo Mundungus.

"You were already asleep by the time we got here." She gave Lily a strange look. "So was James."

Lily closed her eyes again and didn't reply. So, he had stayed, then. She wished she could have been surprised.

"He must really like you, Lily," Marcella said softly. She smiled sadly. "Madam Pomfrey was raving about it being inappropriate for you both to be sharing a bed."

Lily blushed and didn't reply. She may no longer have felt the urge to hex Marcella, but she sure as hell wasn't going to have a heart--to--heart about James with her. She didn't want to think about the possibility of James having anything to do with the reason Marcella may have needed the Melancholy Cures in the first place. And she definitely didn't want to think about James climbing into bed with her or about how he had rubbed her back while she cried.

Oh, no. She'd cried! Cried! She'd promised herself that she would never cry in front of him and she went and did it, anyway.

"I think that we've finished," Lily said abruptly. "We haven't thrown up for a minute or so."

She stood on shaky legs and moved toward the sink to rinse out her mouth. "Come on. We probably shouldn't keep her waiting any longer than necessary," Lily told her, turning back to the blonde.

But Marcella had turned a rather green color. She sent Lily an apologetic look before throwing herself back over the toilet.

Lily sighed. It looked as if she would have to face the music alone. Marvelous.

Leaving Marcella to it, she left the bathroom with resignation. She really didn't want to do this.

Lily took a deep breath and then stepped forward with the purpose of mollifying a certain angry nurse. But the nurse was strangely absent from her post, and the only other person in the room was Headmaster Dumbledore.

Wait! Headmaster...

Lily gulped. Oh, shit.

He smiled serenely at her. "Do lay down, Ms. Evans," he said softly.

Lily glanced nervously at the bed she had occupied minutes before, half expecting James to still be sitting there. He wasn't, though. It was empty. She must have frowned, because Dumbledore chuckled.

"I sent Mr. Potter back to Gryffindor Tower," he told her. "Judging from his performance this morning in the Quidditch match, I assumed that he didn't get much sleep last night." He paused, seemingly waiting for a response. Lily didn't know what she was supposed to say. Was Dumbledore hinting at something? She didn't know what that could be, because he couldn't possibly know about... Well, last night.

When she didn't reply, Dumbledore continued. "Although he was rather insistent about staying here, I believed it best that he get some sleep. In his own bed." Dumbledore's eyes twinkled at her.

Lily reddened and got back into the bed. She was rather relieved that he had forced James to leave. One confrontation at a time.

They were silent for a moment, during which Dumbledore stared down at her intently.

Lily shivered. It felt as if he was looking right through her, and she didn't like that one bit. Damn it, couldn't Professor McGonagall have dealt with her? Although McGonagall was more likely to shriek, Dumbledore seemed about a thousand times worse right now.

Lily was seriously considering pretending to fall asleep so that he would have no choice but to leave her alone, when Dumbledore finally spoke. "Well, I'm sure that you've been thoroughly lectured on the dangers of pennelopes, and dare I say, Ms. Evans, that you've learned your lesson?"

She stared at him, alternating between being shocked and confused. He was letting her off? Just like that? Lily fought the urge to smile. Maybe Dumbledore wasn't so bad in a pinch, after all.

"So, I would like to address another issue," he added quietly.

Lily wilted. Damn. Was she going to get into trouble after all?

"I think it best that you cease your trips to Hogsmeade. After this last time, I'd feel better knowing that you're safe within Hogwarts walls."

Lily froze.

He knew.

Dumbledore knew.

The bloody Headmaster knew.

"There is a reason why carriages are provided when trips are made to or from Hogsmeade. That road is rather dangerous, Ms. Evans."

Lily bit her lip and nodded. Fear gripped her. Oh God, which would it be? Detention, suspension, or-- gulp-- expulsion? No, no, no! Please, no. Petunia would have a field day with this. Expelled with only one year left to go.

"Thankfully, nothing irreversible occurred last night. But it wouldn't be wise to tempt fate twice."

She nodded again. Maybe he was going to take away a thousand house points, and then expel her. Everyone would hate her. Actually, Slytherin House would probably be pleased to be rid of their chief competitor for the House Cup. Oh Lord, was she going to cry again? Hold it back, hold it back, hold it back--

"Lily," Dumbledore said suddenly in an even gentler tone. "You are not going to be expelled."

Shocked, she stared at him. Could he really read minds? She'd heard the rumors, of course, but... Wait. Did he just say that she wasn't going to be expelled? Lily breathed a huge sigh of relief. Oh, thank God.

"But," he continued. "I can no longer ignore this expanding trend of disregarding the rules that were imposed for everyone's own safety." He raised his eyebrows at her to signify his point. Lily hung her head in shame.

"Especially now that it no longer only concerns the usually responsible next head girl, whom I have every confidence in. Other students were out of bed last night to assist you, which I'm sure I don't have to remind you is another rule in itself."

Lily's head was spinning. He had every confidence in her? In her? Wait. Students? As in, plural? Who?

But Lily immediately knew the answer. The blasted entourage. Just bloody wonderful. Of course, she should have known. Life was never that convenient-- especially not for her.

But she wasn't being expelled. That's what mattered at the moment.

Dumbledore started twitting his thumbs when she didn't respond, actually having the mordacity to look amused.

"But-- how?" she managed. How the hell did Dumbledore know?

"How what?" he asked innocently.

"How did you know?" she whispered.

He smiled again. "Sieranda Smiltine was a student here some years ago, as I'm sure she must have told you. I've always admired her unique brand of creativity. We've kept in contact."

Lily gaped at him. Sieranda, again? Now that she thought about it, she couldn't remember ever talking about where Sieranda went to school, or-- Hold on. Did that mean...? "Sieranda told you?" she asked incredulously.

Dumbledore laughed softly. "I think it amused her greatly that a student of mine found her way into her dress-shop after hours."

Lily shook her head. She felt betrayed. "So, you've known all along?"

He nodded.

This was incredible. Actually, it was ridiculous! How the hell could this be happening?

"Then, why did you let me?" she asked, unable to hold back the question. "If you've known all along, and it's against school rules, why didn't you stop me?"

Dumbledore hesitated, obviously choosing his words carefully. "I suppose it's because everyone deserves an escape, Ms. Evans. I myself have a beach house in America. I also collect socks, which is, in my opinion, a most relaxing hobby. I knew that Sieranda was keeping an eye on you, so technically, you were being supervised."

Lily wondered if Dumbledore knew that Sieranda's version of supervision was allowing her to charm alcoholic beverages out of older men and be groped by strangers.

"And seeing that you and Mr. Potter's grades have never suffered, and it's always been on your own free time, I didn't think it was necessary to hinder you. Until now, that is."

Lily lay there, lost for words. Dumbledore hummed a little and smiled at the ceiling. She watched him for a moment, wondering if he truly was as crazy as many people seemed to think. He collected socks? Who collected socks for a hobby?

"It's been lovely chatting with you, Ms. Evans," he said finally. "But I wonder if you aren't well enough to recover in your own room, as well?" Again with the eye twinkle.

She found herself smiling back at him. That sounded like a dismissal if she'd ever heard one. "Yes, I think so, Professor."

Lily got up slowly from the bed, wondering if she was supposed to bow before leaving the room. Probably for good reason, this old wizard inspired reverence. But bowing was probably somewhat over-the-top.

"Oh, and Ms. Evans?"

"Professor?"

"Perhaps you'll send Ms. Smiltine an owl, letting her know that you're still in one piece? I just received a frantic letter from her, and she's wondering why she received a howler this morning from Miliferd Warner about a red-headed girl being abused at her party."

Lily winced and nodded. "Yes, Professor." She wondered how she was going to explain to Sieranda that she wouldn't be attending anymore of her parties in the future.

"You'll be seeing her soon, I expect," Dumbledore said airily. "I've invited her to come up to Hogwarts to help me with a certain project of mine. I figured that she'd be perfect for the job."

She smiled, slightly confused. "I'm glad. She's been rather bored lately."

Dumbledore chuckled. "Yes, I know. Along with her letter, she sent me a gift that I have to assume that she made herself."

To Lily's astonishment, Dumbledore lifted his robe so that she could see his new stockings. They bared a disturbing resemblance to shed snakeskin. She sent him a startled look.

"Yes, I am most anxious to meet Cuddles," he told her conspiratorially.

Lily smiled at him in amazement. He was definitely crazy.

"I'll send Ms. Murphy back once we've had a chance to chat. Good day, Ms. Evans."

"Good day, Professor," she said, crossing the room to the door. She opened and closed it softly behind her.

Dazed, Lily turned toward the staircase, but found the way blocked by Severus Snape.

"Snape?" she asked, surprised. "What are you doing here?"

He sneered at her, and raised his wand to his head. "Normilulus," he muttered.

Lily frowned, and then realization dawned on her. "You were listening?" she cried furiously.

"So, Dumbledore has been letting you and Potter sneak out of the castle whenever you like?" he snarled.

Lily blinked in surprise at the venom in his voice. Was this the same shy boy who had asked her for a cigarette? The little bastard had obviously used a Decibulis charm to enhance his hearing so that he could eavesdrop on her conversation with Dumbledore.

"What the hell, Snape?"

"I get it, now" he said nastily. "Only us lesser beings have to follow the rules. Rules aren't for Quidditch Cup winners and the next head girl. Congratulations, by the way."

"Haven't we already had a conversation about your little problem with listening in on conversations that don't concern you?" Lily snapped. His words struck closer to home than she would have liked. Perhaps Dumbledore should have punished her.

"If a Slytherin snuck out of Hogwarts, they would have been expelled. How nice it must be to have the privileges of a Gryffindor."

"Oh, I get it. Gryffindor-envy, huh?" she replied sarcastically. "A common affliction for Slytherins, isn't it?"

"Hardly!" he snapped.

Lily scoffed, and tried to push him out of her way.

With force that shocked her, Severus knocked Lily backward. Her back hit the wall with a loud smack and her head knocked painfully against the stone. Severus was instantly bearing down on her, his face twisted with a malice that sent a chill down Lily's back. For the first time, she was actually afraid of Severus Snape.

"Won't everyone be surprised when they figure out that perfect, innocent Lily Evans is really a drunken whore. A piece of common Muggle trash. Tell me, did Dumbledore even provide a room for you and Potter?"

Lily was too shocked and horrified to do anything other than stare, open- mouthed at him. Oh, God, who was this person?

"Wouldn't you like to know?"

Lily and Severus both started, and looked toward the new voice.

James appeared at the top of the stairs, arms folded, and a dark expression on his face.

"Snape, I would appreciate it if you would get your greasy nose out of her face. Now, would be good."

Severus snarled at him, but didn't move or reply. Once again, Lily was struck by the differences between the Snape she thought she knew, and this new and definitely not improved version.

The two boys stared at each other, a silent war going on between their furious scowls. Lily looked between them and gulped.

Oh, dear.

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