Outward Appearances

Chapter 9: Hot Fists Are Flying

Mmn... Mint.

Musk.

Soft.

Warm.

That's what James was. Mint, musk, soft, and warm.

His arms were tight around her, and everything around them was falling away. Lily gripped his neck, afraid of falling too. James's lips were burning, and his tongue dipped into her mouth skillfully. Dazed, Lily succumbed to him completely. Sensing her submission, James took control, guiding her tongue to mingle with his own. She moaned pitifully, feeling like she was hanging over the edge, powerless to pull away. But Lily didn't want to pull away. James was.... They were....

Perfect.

Yes, that's what it was. Perfect and familiar.

Familiar...

Yes, the tingling and buzzing...

James's mouth...

His hands...

Wait a minute.... Wait----

Fueled by her moan, James pressed harder into her, and Lily's mind was wiped blank, the question forgotten. He filled her mind and her senses, breaking down her walls. One by one---

"KISS THIS, POTTER!"

Lily gasped as James was suddenly ripped away from her. Before she could blink, a fist collided with the side of his face.

She stared in horror as James fell backwards onto the ground, Severus glowering over him.

For a moment, everything remained still, like the moment before an avalanche. People who had seen Severus hit James were quiet, watching with trepidation. Lily took a slow step backward.

She had just kissed James.... James, who was now lying on the ground with a swollen cheek, glaring at Severus.

Her dazed mind was quickly jerked back into focus as James suddenly lunged at him, knocking him backward. Severus was quick, and dodged the blow James threw, kicking out at him. James doubled over, clutching his stomach. Taking advantage of his distraction, Severus rolled away and swiftly got to his feet. His jaw clenched, James labored to his feet and froze. Lily didn't understand why, until she saw the wand in Severus's hand. His black eyes were glittering strangely.

But James wasn't even looking at him. He was looking somewhere near Severus's feet.

Then Lily saw it.

James's wand.

He must have dropped it during the struggle. Lily felt something that strongly resembled panic in her gut. It was too far away for him to get to it before Severus uttered a spell.

"How does it feel to be powerless, Potter?" he snarled.

What the hell was Severus doing? He couldn't be this upset about seeing her with James. She had been flaunting (as James put it) Xavier at him all week and he had merely looked disgruntled.

But James didn't look afraid of the threat in front of him. In fact, he looked downright calm.

"What are you going to do, Snape?" he asked steadily. "Are you going to curse me in front of all these people?"

"Why don't you tell 'all of these people' what you did to me, Potter?" he snapped. "I'm sure no one would blame me once they've heard."

James shifted his eyes nervously to the crowd surrounding them. "Not here, Snape."

"Then where, Potter? Perhaps you think that I'd want to discuss this under the Whomping Willow? Maybe during the full moon? Would that be more appropriate? You could finish the job."

Lily didn't understand. This wasn't the quiet boy who had asked her for a cigarette. He was furious, but also shaken. And he was talking nonsense. What did the Whomping Willow or a full moon have to do with anything? What had James done to him?

Her eyes suddenly met another pair, and she flinched. Remus and Sirius had pushed through the spectators, and were standing near enough to step in if need be. She quickly averted her eyes, but not before she saw the terror on Remus's face. What the hell was going on?

"Well I think I beat you to the punch line, Potter!"

Then a click went off in her head. Severus was drunk. She recognized the slightly unfocused eyes, and slurred speech. Lily shook her head, and took another step back. Why did everything have to come at her all at once? Severus drunk? Wait-Severus! He was lifting his wand at James----

Sirius suddenly stepped forward, yelling, "Expelliarmus!"

The wand flew high out of Severus's hand and James suddenly leaped at him, knocking them both back onto the ground.

"What's going on?"

Lily jumped. Arabella and the others had come out of the Three Broomsticks. Vivian and Arabella were standing on either side of her.

"Why are they fighting?" Vivian asked. She watched with wide eyes as James punched Severus in the jaw.

"Did I just see you kiss James Potter?" Arabella whispered in her ear.

Lily flinched, and started shaking her head slowly.

"I didn't?" she asked dubiously, raising an eyebrow.

Still shaking her head, Lily took another step backward, and bumped into someone.

"Hey!" Xavier cried. "Watch out! I almost spilled your butterbeer!"

"Are you okay?" Mungdungus asked her.

Two of the teachers suddenly appeared, breaking through the spectators. Tilandi and Bontpiere quickly attempted to break the two boys apart.

Lily took advantage of everyone's distraction, and slipped behind Xavier. If she stayed, James was going to want to talk to her about what she'd done. She wasn't ready for that. Not yet...

Are you trying to run again, Lily? James's voice whispered in her head.

But she ignored it, and pushed between the people who had come out of the Three Broomsticks behind them. Lily thought she heard someone call after her, but she kept going. She didn't know why she had kissed James, but she sure as hell didn't want to think about it right now.

A drink, that's what she wanted. She turned around a corner. Where to go? She quickly surveyed the street. Not Yolanda's, she refused to serve minors.... Not the Yellow Tartan, same problem.... She turned onto another street. Merlin's Beard? Yes! That would work.

She swiftly pushed open the door and, ignoring the immediate stench that penetrated her nose, she marched up to the bartender.

"A Palarmi, Benji! Quick!" she said.

Benji stared at her through squinted eyes. "I'm not giving you anything except a boot out the door."

Lily gritted her teeth. "Since when do you care about the legal drinking age?"

He snorted. "Since the town was suddenly flooded by Hogwarts teachers, that's when."

"Just give me the drink, Benji!"

"I'm not gettin' inta' trouble for you, Evans. If you leave my pub a stumblin' drunk, I know who they'll come after!"

"Damn it, Benji!"

"Lily?"

She froze. Oh shit. Maybe if she didn't turn around....

"Lily!"

She sighed. So much for that. "What do you want Remus?" Lily asked warily, still glaring at Benji.

He moved so that he was leaning against the bar, staring at her. Lily avoided his eyes.

"What are you doing in here?" he asked, looking around the pub.

He sounds like James, she thought bitterly. Damn it, why wouldn't everyone just leave her alone? "Go away, Remus."

"James and Severus just got suspended," he said casually, acting as if he hadn't heard her.

Lily flinched. "Benji," she said warningly. "Give me the blasted drink, or I'll go tell one of the teachers that you gave me one anyway." She ignored the surprise on Remus's face. She didn't give a damn what he thought anymore.

Benji scowled, and bared his teeth. Lily smirked.

"Fine! But I'm not giving him one!" he snarled.

"Good boy." Satisfied, she finally looked at Remus. "Is there something you wanted?"

He raised an eyebrow, his gray eyes boring into her. "I thought you'd want to know about James."

"Well you've told me. Bye now, Remus," she said icily.

"Why did you run over here?" he asked, once again ignoring her.

Lily clenched her fists to keep control of herself. Both he and James had the annoying habit of putting their noses into places they didn't belong. Weren't guys like this the reason she had wanted the whole bad boy thing in the first place?

Wanted, being the key word.... NO! No, no, no, no, no!

"You didn't want to talk to me before, so I don't know why you're still here now, Remus," she said slowly. What was the point of pretending that it hadn't happened?

It was his turn to shift his eyes. "It's not that I didn't want to talk to you..."

"Yeah, I get it, Remus. You've delivered your message, so I guess I'll be seeing you."

"Stop trying to throw me off, Lily."

"Why are you still here?" she cried. Damn it, where was Benji with that drink?

"Because James is my friend," he said steadily. Was he always this calm?

"Then go talk to him! Benji, hurry your ass up!"

The bartender gave her a disgruntled look. Remus didn't move.

"Fine, if you want to chat, tell me about what Severus was talking about back there," she said sharply.

He flinched. "Severus has some problems."

"No shit," she said, rolling her eyes. "But I didn't ask for a psychological profile."

Benji finally shoved the drink at her, and Lily took a sip. She quickly spit it back out and glared at him. "This Palarmi has been watered down!"

"No kidding?" he asked sarcastically. He quickly disappeared into the back before she could pester him further.

"Coward," Lily mumbled. But she took another sip.

"What's in that?" Remus asked hesitantly, as if he really didn't want to know.

"You answer me first." He wasn't going to elude her question that easily.

"Sirius played a... joke on him the other night," he said, suddenly very intent on watching his shoes. Lily took a closer look at him. She hadn't noticed before, but he looked terrible. There were large bags under his eyes, and his skin was pale. Remus looked like he should have been in bed, not harassing her in Merlin's Beard.

"What does that have to do with James?" she asked, taking another sip. Damn, this wasn't going to have the effect she wanted. So much for getting drunk.

"Severus thinks that he was involved. Hey, can I have a drink?" he asked suddenly.

Surprised, she pushed it toward him. "Help yourself."

He picked it up and surveyed it warily. Although he didn't seem satisfied by what he saw, Remus took a large gulp. Lily raised an eyebrow. Surely Remus knew that a Palarmi wasn't just a fizzy drink?

He gave it back to her, pulling a face. "Definitely watered down."

Lily blinked, shocked. "You've had a Palarmi?"

He shrugged. "Not from here."

"Why did you act like you didn't know what it was?"

"Did I?" he asked innocently. "I asked what was in it because I know a certain bartender who likes to throw in his own ingredients when patrons aren't looking. In Benji's case, water."

"Wait! Remus Lupin, are you telling me that you regularly visit pubs?"

He smiled. "I'm not admitting to anything."

Lily shook her head. But Remus was supposed to be a nice guy. The type who didn't go drinking.

"How did I not know about this?" she asked.

He smirked. "You aren't the only one who uses those secrets passageways out of Hogwarts, Lily."

She froze. Was the Palarmi actually taking effect, or had Remus just said.... But how could he know about... ?

"What did you say?" she asked quietly.

Remus gave her a startled look, and then downed the rest of her drink. "We were talking about James."

"No, you just said that you know about the passageways! How?" she demanded shakily. No one was supposed to know about those!

He shrugged, looking uncomfortable. "We found them. But about James---"

"How do you know that I use them?"

"I shouldn't have said anything about that, Lily," he said angrily.

But he had. Somehow Remus knew about what she had always thought to be her private escapes. The floor suddenly seemed unsteady beneath her feet. Lily dropped onto the nearest barstool. This couldn't be happening. She shut her eyes and started rubbing her temples wearily. "How did you find out?"

There was a small hesitation. "I saw you disappear into the tunnel behind the mirror."

Damn. She had always been so careful. "Were you alone?" she asked fearfully. The least he could do, was tell her that he was the only one who knew.

"Yes," he said quickly.

At least there was that. "Does anyone else know?" she asked.

"Just me."

Lily bit her lip. "Did you follow me?"

"No, I don't know where you go in Hogsmeade, Lily." She nodded, and let out a tense breath.

This isn't too bad, Lily assured herself. He hadn't mentioned Sieranda's, and if he was telling the truth, and hadn't followed her, than there was no reason why he should know. She looked at him again. If Remus knew anymore than he telling, he didn't betray it.

"Are you okay?" he asked tentatively.

"I'm fine."

She sighed. If there was ever a time to get drunk, it was now. Lily considered calling for Benji, but quickly decided that it would be a waste of time. Without waiting, she walked around the bar and started grabbing the necessary ingredients for a real Palarmi.

"Do you always take such liberties?" Remus asked, the amusement back in his eyes.

"When necessary," she answered. Once it was clear that Remus didn't mean to tell anyone, her panic started receding. For some reason, after the initial shock wore off, knowing that there was someone who knew something personal, and real, about her was almost.... well, a relief.

"You are full of surprises, Lily."

"So are you," she smirked, raising an eyebrow. She was just relieved, and almost giddy now, enough to say what she did next. "Sirius, huh?"

He looked at her sharply. "What?"

Lily took her time in answering him. She finished mixing the Palarmi, and took a drink, before replying, "You heard me." She smiled as the warm beverage immediately began to cool her remaining nerves that were still stinging.

It was Remus's turn to look distressed. "How... ?"

She laughed bitterly. Apparently they hadn't meant to be out yet. How does it feel to be on the other end now, Remus? "Arabella figured it out."

His cheeks were burning a pleasant pink, and Lily sighed wistfully. Remus was far too pretty for his own good. It really wasn't fair.

"Who else knows?" he asked fearfully. Lily almost laughed. How quickly the tables had turned.

"As far as I know, just me and Arabella."

Remus nodded, and ran a shaky hand through his hair. Far too pretty for his own good. "Well, Lily. I guess we have something on each other then," he said shakily.

She smiled. "It appears that way. So, am I right in assuming that we also have a confidence, then?"

"Yes." Remus looked relieved, and reached for her drink. She didn't protest when he took it out of her hands and swallowed it.

He looked at her suddenly, and the corner of his mouth quirked in that adorable way that had ensnared Lily in the first place. "I wonder if James knows what he's getting into with you."

"Remus, I just added two terms to our agreement," she said suddenly.

"What?" he asked warily.

"First of all, I don't want you to talk to me about James."

He nodded slowly. "If that's what you want. But in his defense---"

"REMUS!"

"Fine," he said, holding up his hands. "What's the other term?"

She looked at him, taking in the beautiful boy who possibly would have made an ideal boyfriend. She gave him a sad smile.

"I want details about Sirius."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *