Wonderful

I close my eyes when I get too sad,
I think thoughts that I know are bad,
Close my eyes and I count to ten,
Hope it's over when I open them.
I was feeling pain beyond pain. It was more painful then any werewolf transformations or any Crucaitus Curse. My best friend, James Potter, is dead. He had befriended me even though I am what I am. I was shunned my whole life, yet he was my friend. We were the Mauders at Hogwarts. Now, two are dead and the other has betrayed us. What have I done to deserve this?
I must have done something. I cannot think of anything besides the harmless pranks we played as children. That was only for fun. No one was hurt as badly as I am hurt now. No one died. What have I done to deserve this?
My old pals Prongs and Wormtail are gone, and my best friend Padfoot killed them. I hurt down deep inside and nothing but friendship can heal it. No one will accept my friendship because of what I am. We used to have fun. What happened Padfoot? What happened?
I want the things that I had before,
Like a Star Wars poster on my bedroom door,
I wish I could count to ten,
Make everything be wonderful again.
I remember the good times. As a child, James, you did the impossible for me. You became Animagi. You helped me through the hard times. No one has ever done that for me. Why did you have to go?
I weep beside your grave, waiting for you to come back. I know you won't, but there is still desperation in my voice. Why did you have to go, James, why?
Lily was nice too. She helped also. We laughed a lot together. James, you, and Lily were the perfect match. You belonged together. You were like brother and sister.
I'm all alone now. Not a friend in the world. Come back, James. Come back. You were the bright light in my dark and dreary life. You helped me discover I can be happy. You and three others. We laughed together, James, we were friends. Sometimes, on dark nights, I hear your laughter. I hear you laughing. Like when we were kids. You will always be in my memory, James, forever more.
Hold my Mom and I hold my dad,
We figure out why they get so mad,
I hear them scream, I hear them fight,
Say bad words that make me wanna cry.
I feel tears on my cheeks, James. You were good parents to Harry. He laughs like you. He looks like you. He reminds me strongly of you, James. What can I do to convince you to come back? I need you. Harry needs you. The world has lost another shining light.
You were always laughing, James. You made me laugh too. Through good times and bad times, you were there, giving me hope. Giving me the courage to be myself, no matter what anybody else thought.
I'm crying James. The world needs you. I loved you like a brother. You loved me too. Why did it have to end?
We had fun. James. Come back. I'm sobbing. You have to come back and save Harry from the life he's going to have, living with muggles. He'll be famous, and he won't have parents. James, why did you have to go when we were so good friends? Why did it have to end?
Close my eyes when I go to bed at night,
Dream adventures that'll make me smile
I feel better when I hear them say,
Everything will be wonderful someday.
I've heard people say how wonderful it is that Voldemort is gone, James. They're happy you're gone. They're happy Harry is an orphan. Please come back. Make everything be wonderful again. You made me happy.
Sometimes I dream about you three, James. Lily is cradling Harry and you have your arm around Lily's shoulder. The perfect family. I wouldn't care if Voldemort was still running lose all over, I just want you back. I want you. You and Lily. I want you back.
James, you made me happy. My sadness is beyond tears, my pain beyond screams. There is nothing that could have hurt me more. Nothing. Nothing in this world or the next. I would have gladly given up my shunned life for yours. You were a glorious Quidditch player and the best friend someone could ever have. Why did you go? Why did you leave me to hurt the worst kind of pain? Why did you leave me to weep over you grave?
You don't understand how much you meant to me, James. You were my best friend. One of my only friends. It isn't fair. You've hurt me, James, you've made me hurt.
Mama says mean everything,
When you're little,
And the world's so big,
I just don't understand how,
You can smile with all those tears in your eyes,
Tell me everything is wonderful now.
Please don't tell me everything is wonderful now.
James, why did it have to be you? You were nice, funny, and my best of friends. I followed you everywhere. I'll never smile again. I'll never be happy again. I need you. Come back, James. Come back. I howl under the full moon for someone to run with me. Yet, no one is there.
I'm all alone in this cold, cruel world. There is no one else like you in this world. Sirius has turned evil and is Azkaban. He did this to you. He killed Peter. He hurt me too. He hurt me inside. I would rather be dead.
What did I do wrong? What did I do to deserve this pain? Why did you die? Why did Padfoot turn evil? Why do I have to suffer?
Prongs. I ache for friendship. Come back to me... Do it for Harry too. He's all alone in this world, and he doesn't know what he is. He's famous. Please, Prongs, do it for the ones you love.
I go to school and I run and play,
I tell the kids that it's all okay,
Laugh aloud so my friends won't know,
When the bell rings, I just don't wanna go.
I remember the day we met and became friends, James. For the first time in my life, I had friends. I remember the horror I had felt when you found out what I was. I remember watching you become Animagi. I remember our adventures under the full moon. There were many close calls, but we laughed about it afterwards.
Those were the good times. We were innocent, young, and carefree. I know it isn't your fault that you died, James, but I miss you. I'm on my knees, sobbing by your grave. Why did it have to be you? Of all the people on earth, it had to be you. Why, Prongs, why?
Go to my room and I close my eyes.
Make believe that I have a new life,
Don't believe you when you say,
Everything will be wonderful someday.
Sometimes I sit in my apartment and pretend that your not dead, James. I try, oh I try, but still tears find their way to my cheeks. I know you wouldn't want me to be moping over your death, I know you wouldn't. I can't help it. You were one of the only friends that I've ever had.
I try to be happy, but how can I be if you're dead and gone? I'll never be the same. I'm missing a part of myself because you're gone. I have only memories now.
I dream about you, James. At night I can almost see you. See you and Lily, laughing and holding hands. Sometimes my memories haunt me, sometimes they make me smile. I come to your grave almost everyday and sob. How can anyone say that everything is wonderful now?
Mama says means every thing,
When you're little,
And the world is so big,
I just don't understand how,
You can smile with all those tears in your eyes,
When you tell me everything is wonderful now.
Sometimes I smile through my tears, remembering one of the pranks we pulled. How carefree we were. Everyday we pulled a new prank. Everyday we laughed. Everyday we had fun. How come it had to end like this?
Two are dead, one is in Azkaban, and one is hurt so deeply nothing can ever heal it, James. Why did it have to be this way? We are all hurt in some way. I laugh whenever I hear the names Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs. But I always stop, because I start to think about you. Why did it all come to an end? Why did we have to get hurt?
Now I'm standing here, all alone, and looking at your gravestone. Why did it have to be this way James, why did it?
I don't wanna hear you say everything is wonderful now!
I don't wanna hear you tell me everything is wonderful now.
I don't wanna hear you say that I'll understand some day
I don't wanna hear you say we both have grown in a different way,
I don't wanna meet your friend,
And I don't want to start over again!
I just want it to be the same just like it used to be!
Do you remember our school days, James? Do you? We always had fun. Lily was always giggling at Sirius's jokes, along with the rest of us. You always sat there staring at her with goo-goo eyes. I laugh when I remember this. I remember it as if it were yesterday. Even Professor Dumbledore would chuckle.
Sirius. What changed him, James? What changed him? He was my other best friend, always pulling the largest practical joke out of all of us. I tremble to think of what they could have done to him to make him evil.
And there is Peter. Poor, quivering Peter. He was always stuttering, always weak. Why did Sirius turn on him? He did nothing. Why don't you answer me, James?
Some days I hate everything,
And I hate everything,
Everyone and everything!
Please don't tell me everything in wonderful now!
Sometimes I think I hear your voice whispering in my ear. Whispering comforting thoughts. Soothing me. Claming me. Then it's gone. Why don't you stay, James, why don't you stay?
Sometimes I think I hear Lily whispering to me too, James. I think I hear her helping me when I'm in a fix, and I need help. Is she? Does she still? I always get an idea when she stops. Why doesn't she stay? I need your help now, Lily, I need help. Why doesn't James answer me, Lily? Doesn't he hear me? Do you hear me? Am I completely alone?
Please don't tell me everything is wonderful now!
Please don't tell me everything is wonderful now!
I don't wanna hear you tell me,
I don't wanna hear you tell me everything is wonderful now!
In the end, I always come back to the same person who did this. It wasn't you, James, it wasn't Sirius, and it wasn't Peter. It was Voldemort. Voldemort turned Sirius evil and told him to kill Peter. Voldemort killed you. Voldemort had pulled us, the Mauders, apart.
Lily, James? Can you hear me? Why don't you answer? Why did this have to happen? Why did you have to die? Why did Sirius go bad? Why am I all alone now? Why! James! Prongs! Please, answer me!
Ooh, yeah, yeah, everything is wonderful now,
Ooh, yeah, everything is wonderful now.
James, it is time I learned the truth. That you are gone and you're never coming back. I shall still suffer in pain for the rest of my life. I will still visit this grave. I will still check Harry. I'll live my life to the fullest. I'll do everything you didn't get a chance to do. I'm doing this for you, James, because you're gone. Gone forever more.
"You think the dead we loved ever truly leave us? You think that we don't recall them more clearly than ever in times of great trouble? Your father is alive in you, Harry, and shows himself most plainly when you have need of him..." -Albus Dumbledore