Tea and Chocolate

Bright discs of chocolate in crisp sugar shells taunted Remus Lupin from the cover of the box on the table. He ignored them, as he had pointedly ignored them all afternoon, from the moment a smiling Molly Weasley had delivered the parcel of Muggle confections sent by Hermione Granger's parents. Though he greatly appreciated it, unfortunately he could not try the chocolate eggs, nor the bar filled with almonds, nor these purple, blue, pink and yellow circles.

Behind him he heard an indrawn breath and turned to face the guest who had followed him discreetly to his room after supper. "I see a great deal of chocolate. Have you reneged on our agreement, Lupin?" Severus asked in a quiet, dangerous voice.

"Certainly not! I haven't touched any of it. But it was a gift from the Grangers." Remus scarcely knew Hermione's parents, and wondered whether the package had been Molly's suggestion. "I couldn't very well give it all away. If Hermione found out, I'm sure she would believe that I had an aversion to Muggle food, and it would hurt her feelings."

"How very kind of Miss Granger to have her parents send you chocolate," remarked Severus. "It isn't as if she needs assistance from you to maintain her marks. She must have a special fondness for you." It was apparent from the wry tone that he believed Hermione had a crush on her former Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, and Remus turned rather red, turning away to open the box of coated chocolate and spill a pale green disc into Severus' hand.

"Here...have one." He waited for Severus to put it in his mouth, chewing cautiously as if he expected the non-magical candy to poison him, then swooped in and kissed him, urgent for the taste of both Severus and of the chocolate he had forsworn for a week. But Severus was perfectly aware of what Remus was up to, and kissed along his jaw instead.

Tilting back his head, Remus whimpered until the other man relented, kissing and letting Remus lick at his lips. With a rather wicked expression Severus lifted two more of the candies to his mouth and offered them out on his tongue until Remus took them gratefully with his own, kissing him in the process. "Don't believe that this excuses you from our bargain, Lupin."

"I've no wish to be excused from our bargain," Remus assured Severus, nuzzling his ear to hide a smile. He had wondered whether, in the light of day, Severus might himself regret the impulsive promise to exchange intimacies for abstention from chocolate; from the stern, undemonstrative potions master, an ongoing concern that Lupin not betray their terms came close to an admission of desire. "I've been waiting here all day, thinking of you, without even chocolate to distract me..."

That confession earned him an approving hum, and Severus drew back. Dropping the box of candy back onto the table, he began to undo the outrageous number of buttons on his sleeve. It was Remus' turn to groan softly while he watched the careful fingers work the silver dots through the small holes. "Doesn't that infuriate you?"

"There is, of course, a spell to unbutton them all quickly, but some things are worth waiting for, wouldn't you say?" Severus smiled slowly at him as he gradually worked open the sleeve and pulled his arm free. After another taste of the upturned lips, Remus turned his attention to unfastening the front of Severus' robes while Severus began to unbutton his other sleeve with his arms draped around Remus' back. "I see that I have made you impatient. I suppose I should look for chocolate cologne, but then everyone would know..."

"Yes, because I would spend all day licking you," chuckled Remus.

"That would enliven some of the Order meetings. Mundungus Fletcher might even stay awake."

"But we would certainly get scolded when I tried to climb into your lap." Kissing him again, Remus pushed the unclasped robes off his shoulders until they fell to the floor in a heap. A muttered charm made them rise to fold themselves neatly over the arm of the sofa. Urging Severus down beside them, Remus straddled his legs and bent to brush his lips along Severus' jaw, smiling when their hands encountered each other on the buttons of his own cardigan. "On the other hand there might be advantages to having me sit in your lap -- it would free up a chair."

"It would indeed, though that was not an advantage I had in mind." Severus inhaled sharply as Remus brushed a hand over the front of his trousers, which bulged noticeably. Torn between unfastening them and removing the rest of his own clothing, which he was folding piece by piece over the sofa back, Remus wriggled against the swelling and smiled to see Severus bite his lip to stifle a moan. "As you see, I am not as comfortable as most chairs."

This was certainly not true, thought Remus, finding and stroking warm skin. "Anyone who isn't as bony as I am is really very comfortable."

A hand traveled down his ribcage, moved along his side and traced the well-defined jut of his hip. "I suppose that I should not deny you your chocolate, as it seems to be your primary form of sustenance."

"Oh, no, I had a very large breakfast today. And lunch. And two apples." Both of Severus' hands slipped around his back and down, curving, until they settled on his bottom and squeezed. "Two apples," repeated Remus happily. "And biscuits. And a lollipop, but not chocolate." For emphasis, he licked Severus' throat.

"I see that you've kept your mouth busy."

"Actually, I was thinking about you when I had that lollipop." Remus kissed along his jaw. "You would have been teaching your last class of the day..."

Breath catching, Professor Snape warned, "Do not give me reason to have difficulty concentrating while teaching." Remus looked at him with wide, innocent eyes before grinning and sliding down to lick a nipple. "I cannot imagine why a lollipop should make you think of my classroom."

"Oh, it didn't." Flicking out his tongue again, Remus let his feet drop to the floor, taking his weight off of Severus. "What I really wanted..." He licked a bit lower. "...was to sit you down..." The unfastened trousers slid easily over Severus' hips and down his thighs. "...kneel between your legs..." A harsh groan met his ears when he ran his tongue down to the hair low on Severus' belly. "...take you in my mouth."

With another groan, Severus pushed up to meet Remus' lips while Remus' fingers found and teased the nipple he had been licking earlier. "I was afraid you would say that. Now I shall have to take an antaphrodisiac potion tomorrow before my last class to avoid embarrassing myself." Remus could not reply, for his lips and tongue and the muscles in his cheeks were quite occupied, but he tugged on the nipple again. Fresh moisture leaked into his mouth, salty-bitter after the brief taste of chocolate; he spread it with his tongue. "Don't torture me," insisted Severus with a ragged edge in his voice, grasping Remus' wrist. "Harder, please..."

Severus' skin felt unusually warm, and as Remus glanced up he realized that the Dark Mark was pressed against his own forearm. He wondered whether it had burned so since Voldemort's return, or whether arousal and pleasure triggered it to ache. Perhaps Severus, like Sirius, required a high level of distraction for release. With a yank on the nipple, Remus bobbed his head to take him in deep and swallowed convulsively, becoming much less gentle with his tongue and teeth as he drew up and down again.

The cry this drew from Severus sounded more pleased than pained, though a moment later Remus realized that neither of them had put a silencing charm on the room, and despite his jokes about the Order he really had no wish to let everyone in Grimmauld Place know what they were doing. With a regretful sigh he drew back, groped for his wand and uttered the spell that would prevent any sound from escaping into the hallway. Quite flushed, Severus straightened and rose, drawing Remus upright with him. The two of them discarded what clothing they still wore, though Severus, too, kept his wand; in these troubled times, Remus doubted whether he ever let it out of his sight.

"Would you not be more comfortable on the bed?" asked Severus. Nodding, Remus reached for his hand, but before he could tug Severus across the room with him, the other wizard murmured "Wingardium leviosa" and flicked his wrist. Remus found himself floating off the ground and rising as if on warm puffs of air. He was overwhelmed by embarrassment and elation, caught between wanting to cover himself and the impulse to fling himself forward and fly.

A moment later Severus had turned the wand back upon himself, muttered a different charm and leapt into the air beside him, catching his arms and twirling him around. Yelping, Remus clutched at his shoulders, but he hardly recognized the man who smiled, pulling him close, and said, "You won't fall." They were moving, slowly, toward the bed, still spinning as if they were dancing, and after a few moments Severus tugged on Remus' hip and rolled his weight until they were horizontal to the floor. The perspective was unnerving, though Remus could not feel the effects of gravity under the spell that Severus had used, and he closed his eyes and clung tightly until he felt himself flipped upright to hover just above the bed. His heart was pounding, and he felt lightheaded.

"Better?" inquired Severus, who then emitted a small grunt of surprise as Remus swooped close to kiss him. "I assure you, there's no chocolate left on my lips." He let Remus drop with a small bounce onto the thick mattress, eliciting another yelp while he drifted down more slowly beside him. "If you cannot bear the privation, I will retrieve your Muggle candy."

"You'll eat a few more?" Remus asked hopefully.

"No, thank you. But I hesitate to hold you to a promise that makes you suffer so cruelly. I understand that addictions are very difficult to resist." When Remus began to protest that he was not addicted, Severus gave him a stern frown and interrupted, "I bear no illusions that I taste better than chocolate, but you can't even kiss me without whinging for it."

"I was not whinging!" To his surprise, Severus performed a very creditable imitation of Remus' whimper, and Remus turned pink even as he chuckled in surprise. "I wasn't making those noises over the sweets, Severus."

"No? Then what do you want?"

Despite the predictability of his response, Remus did not hesitate. "I want you."

"Do you indeed." The low, purring vibration in Severus' voice gave Remus pleasurable chills. "Perhaps you have not noticed, but I have been here, in a disgraceful state of undress, for quite some time." Raising an eyebrow, he touched a fingertip to Remus' mouth; Remus smiled and kissed it as it traced his lip and brushed his moustache. "This tickles."

"You don't mind terribly, do you? I could shave it off." But Severus looked appalled at the suggestion, brushing his upper lip along it before capturing Remus' mouth in a hungry, searching kiss. Arms around his back, Remus shifted his body closer and pushed at his shoulders, trying to lie him flat on the bed. Breaking the kiss to breathe, he nudged Severus' nose with his own.

"I want you," he whispered again.

"How?" A flicker of uncertainty, perhaps even discomfort, glittered in the dark eyes, though the tone held defensive sarcasm. "Baked in a pie, spread on toast, or -- oh, let me guess. Covered in chocolate." Remus laughed, quite pleased at the suggestion, and Severus looked up at him expectantly. "However, since you can't have that for a week..."

"You can have *me* covered in chocolate."

Severus looked somewhat exasperated. "I don't want chocolate."

"Then just have me." And then Remus understood the question. "On my back...on my hands and knees...on my side..."

The bed lurched, and Severus was suddenly pressing him down into the pillows, making evident his body's enthusiastic response to the suggestion. "I'm not sure I can manage all of that in a single evening," he demurred, though from the hungry way his hands moved over Remus it seemed likely that he was willing to try. Smiling again, Remus tilted his head up to be kissed, feeling Severus fumbling about for his wand. "Do you prefer spells, potions...my tongue?"

"Your tongue!" It was not a suggestion Remus had expected to be offered so soon, if ever, and he trembled helplessly with desire for it. "Oh. Yes...though a spell would be fine, if you don't..."

With another whimper, Remus flipped himself over and raised his hips, for Severus was already sliding down, urging him to roll. He muttered a charm to make Remus clean and comfortable as he kissed his way below Remus' spine. Before he had reached his destination, Remus could speak only in moans and shuddering cries, rocking against the mattress; he fought to hold on to his control, fingers tearing at the bedsheets.

When the sweet torment finally stopped, Severus asked, "Will you turn over?" and Remus flung himself onto his back, grabbing a pillow and stuffing it under his hips so wantonly that he feared Severus might scoff at him. Yet as he crawled up, Severus only glanced at the pillow, murmured a spell to make it fluff beneath Remus and settled into his arms. "Tell me if I do anything that you dislike," he said, sounding more uneasy than Remus would have wished.

There was no pain, and indeed very little resistance; unsurprising, perhaps, that the potions master knew superlative spells to ease the way, somehow more curious that he could be so cautious and steady after what Remus suspected had been terribly long abstinence, much longer than his own. Severus moved very carefully, apparently intent upon being able to stop should Remus make the request. Groaning, breathing in little gasps, Remus curled one hand in his hair and whispered, "Severus...oh."

With a soft grunt, Severus closed his eyes. "I'm not hurting -- ?"

"Please," Remus interrupted, touching his face. "Look at me." Though the room was unlit save for the fire in the grate on the far side of the sofa, there was enough illumination to see his expression at such close range, as Remus panted a little, rocking against him. "Take, a little."

Severus made a sharp warning noise, hissing, "Slow..." But his hips jerked more forcefully, and the slight change in angle made Remus shudder as he cried out. They were both sweating, not with exertion but from a combination of restraint, stress and friction, and they nearly slid apart until Remus gripped Severus' upper arms tightly to keep him where he wanted him, rising up to meet him with unexpected force.

Once Severus stopped trying so hard to be gentle, he turned into a different lover altogether -- fierce and passionate, unrestrained in the sounds he made and generous with his hands. It was over quickly, in a mad surge of inarticulate groans over the awkward slapping and damp noises of their bodies rubbing together, but Remus could never bring himself to regret the haste of falling, drenched and sticky and satisfied, into a tangle of limbs. He pressed his face against Severus' neck and tried to hold on to him as Severus pulled away to find his wand, spelling Remus with an unnecessary charm against pain.

"That was wonderful. In the heat and perspiration of Severus' throat, Remus was certain that his blush would be excused. "This entire evening has been wonderful. Thank you."

A strange-sounding chuckle emerged from Severus' constrained windpipe. "There is no need to thank me." After a pause, silent except for their gradually hushed breathing, he admitted, "Perhaps I should thank you. I too have had a most enjoyable evening." Remus lifted his chin to kiss him, stroking his face, but before he could speak, Severus added, "What is most delightful about it is that you owe me six more."

Grinning back, Remus reminded him, "I thought you wanted some mornings and afternoons as well. And there is the weekend to consider."

"Tomorrow morning I must be at Hogwarts by seven, so you had best be prepared to be prodded awake at half past five. As for the weekend..." Glancing at pale skin seared by the hideous mark on the forearm, features prematurely marked by strain and suffering, and the distant, unfocused eyes of the relaxed man in his arms, a thought formed in Remus' mind at the same moment that Severus spoke it aloud. "Perhaps we could go somewhere. Away from here."

"Oh," sighed Remus. "I would like that very much." He hoped that he did not sound as besotted to Severus as he did to his own ears -- at least, until Severus closed his eyes, letting the lines of his face relax into the smoother, softer features of a younger time, looking more content than Remus had ever seen him. He was on the verge of telling him so, and of perhaps saying more, trying to put the current of happiness bubbling inside him into a phrase that might allow it to be shared, when Severus lifted his eyelids again, the beginnings of a frown creasing his forehead.

"We would have to tell the others." The small, innocuous words, not a spell, not even a threat, cast a cold shadow over the warmth of the bed. Of course they would have to tell the others if they left Hogwarts and headquarters; of course the others would understand the reason, and would perhaps even be sympathetic, but they would know.

"Do you think you should..." began Severus again. "Well, I suppose that he is still a child. But if he learns from gossip..."

"Talk to Harry," whispered Remus with a sinking feeling in his chest.

Severus stared at him. "You expect *me* to talk to him? Have you lost your wits, Lupin?"

"No, no. I was just finishing your sentence." It was absolutely true that Harry must not hear of their relationship from idle talk, and perhaps believe that Remus had tried to hide it from him. At the same time, it was likely that Hermione, who had worked out that Remus was a werewolf, would also guess the reason for his newfound happiness...and discretion was hardly a Weasley family virtue. He would have to talk to Harry, then, but Harry -- who might have seen any entanglement on Remus' part to be a betrayal of Sirius, his beloved godfather -- would certainly not understand why he would have chosen to care for Severus Snape, whom Harry perceived as an enemy of himself and his father and a direct cause of Sirius' death.

Detaching himself from Remus' embrace, Severus lay on his back and looked at the dark wood of the ceiling beams overhead. "What precisely would you tell him?" In the uncertain pause, he continued, somewhat bleakly, "He believes that you and I are very nearly enemies, and has always seemed comfortable with that state of affairs. I doubt that he would forgive you even for professing friendship for me." It was entirely possible that Severus was right; there was no point in denying it. Shaking his head slightly, he sighed, "I don't suppose Molly Weasley thought about that when she sent me to bring you tea."

These words chilled Remus even more, as if Severus had already begun to unravel whatever this was that they had built in the weeks since that conversation -- the first accord they had ever reached, which had altered their understanding so very much. Swallowing his unhappiness, he reached for Severus' hand. "I don't suppose Potter would do anything so straightforward as demand that you stop seeing me," said Severus in the same resigned tone. "But none of us can afford to see him put himself in further jeopardy."

"No, we can't." Remus squeezed his hand. "But I can't live my life in fear that I will do something to anger him..."

"I doubt that there is much you could do that would truly anger him," Severus interrupted him. "Join the Death-Eaters, end your life by your own hand, or this."

"He would certainly forgive me sooner for this than if I joined the Death-Eaters..." Remus began to argue, but Severus cut him off again.

"I am a Death-Eater to him, Lupin. I bear the Mark. I am the head of Slytherin House and to his knowledge an associate of Lucius Malfoy. If you're lucky, Potter will only believe you to be weak and assume that I used poison mixed with your Wolfsbane to recruit you." The voice had a taunting edge that was familiar, though Lupin had not heard it for some time. It startled him how many years of defenses against that snide tone had crumbled in a few weeks, and how deeply it cut.

His fingers must have communicated his pain to Severus as they tightened on his, because the hand he was holding shifted, loosening his grip. Severus turned his palm and stroked his thumb across Remus' wrist in what Remus hoped was meant to be a soothing gesture, though perhaps it was himself whom Severus was trying to calm.

"I suppose you had better tell Potter that this means nothing. That your metabolism being what it is, and my...no, I don't suppose he would care to hear my reasons under any circumstances." Remus looked over at him but didn't dare to speak. "The point is that if you wish to avoid gossip, someone is certain to notice, when we spend the better part of a week together without working on Order business, and it likely will not appear incidental, to him, if he should hear of it."

"No, it wouldn't," Remus agreed, clearing his throat which had begun to close over. He blamed having irritated it earlier, trying to take Severus too deeply in his mouth; he wished that he did not taste the acid rising inside. Drained, and suddenly wanting nothing more than to have the conversation at an end, he started to ask, "Am I to understand that you think it best if..." when Severus interrupted him a final time:

"How I despise James Potter." Remus could only stare. Of anything that could have been said at the moment, this seemed most unexpected. "More than ten years the man is dead and still his son finds ways to snatch away any happiness I might..." As if aware that he was saying more than he had intended, Severus glanced over, slowly freezing his expression into something like indifference. "Well, Lupin," he began again, speaking the name with something like the distaste he had always used, rather than the recent suggestive inflection that made the surname sound far more intimate than Remus' given name. "Perhaps I should go."

"If you want to go, Severus, just tell me so." Remus hadn't let go of his hand, and the thumb was still tracing patterns on his wrist -- perhaps writing a spell, or a name. That thought might have disturbed Remus more had he not been so unhappy that it drove all other feeling from his mind -- even fear. "You seem quite determined to debate this with yourself, draw your own conclusions and act upon them, so I don't know that it will matter if I tell you that I wish you wouldn't."

"Even at the risk of losing the trust of Harry Potter? With so much at stake? I would rather you tell me to get out now."

The bitterness in Severus' words curled his lips downward in a familiar scowl. They appeared to wound him as much as they wounded Remus, who pulled him close, quite unable to bear it, pressing his fingers and then his mouth to the tight line of Severus' jaw. "Stop. Please. We both knew, before we started..." Unable to trust his voice to say more, he took a deep breath, heaving his shoulders, and felt Severus' arm slowly rise to encircle them.

"I've ruined your wonderful evening."

"You won't have. Just stay."

Remus had little enough pride left not to care that the order came out like a plea, for his lover remained where he was, holding him. In a heavy voice, Severus asked, "Is this worth tolerating all of that?" And, somewhat incredulously: "For me?"

"Actually it's for me." Remus conjured a ghost of a laugh. "I'm selfish. And greedy, as I believe you've said. And I want you with me. And I want us to be happy, no matter how foolish that may be."

"I told you not to make your happiness dependent upon mine."

"I can't help it. It's worth tolerating whatever I must if it will make you happy."

Severus' mouth twisted, making Remus fear that he had wanted too much. But then the other wizard picked up his wand, muttering "Accio," and the box of Muggle chocolates flew across the room to them. Severus spilled a few pastel-colored discs into his hand and studied them as if he expected to be able to read his fortune from them before putting them into his mouth.

"I am attempting to test your theory that chocolate improves any situation."

The thick sweet scent on his companion's breath made Remus' mouth water. He offered a pained smile. "Is it working?"

"Perhaps. I think I enjoy the flavor more while listening to you moan." Putting a pink candy between his upper and lower teeth, Severus leaned forward, and Remus took it with a grateful sigh, making sure to press their lips together before moving back to chew. "That is better, isn't it?"

"Oh, but you're making me cheat, Severus!"

The playful attempt Remus made to swat away the box caused half a dozen sweets to spill onto the bed. Picking them up, Severus put two pale green candies beneath his incisors like vampire fangs, pushing them into Remus' eager mouth with his tongue. "Perhaps I'm feeling generous."

"I appreciate your generosity," groaned Remus wholeheartedly. "You've been very good to me."

"I appreciate yours." Though a faint smile lingered, Severus' eyes had turned serious, studying Remus' face with a kind of dawning concern. "Don't speak in the past tense." He picked up the box of candy and pressed it into Remus' hand. "Have them all."

"But, Severus." Unease gnawed at Remus once more, making the taste of chocolate start to curdle on his tongue. "Please tell me you're not trying to renege on our agreement."

"No," Severus assured him in a firm voice, yet he was flushing slightly, averting his eyes. "I will honor my part of the bargain."

"Then why are you giving me the chocolate?"

"Because I want no games. No pacts of this sort between us...no limitations."

"You'll still make love with me every day for the rest of the week?" asked Remus, scarcely able to believe that Severus could be offering so much. "And next week?"

They both paused, looking at one another, until Remus could very nearly see the phases of the moon flash in Severus' eyes as he calculated the dates in the coming cycle. But his tentative nod gained confidence. He was reaching for Remus as he replied, "And next month."

Wrapping his arms around Severus' neck, Remus nuzzled in close. "Wonderful. And next year?"

"Assuming that the world does not end and there is a next year." It was just the sort of cynical statement that he might have expected of Severus, and Remus laughed, kissing his neck. "There, you see how sentimental I've become? And I thought you appreciated my lack of sentiment and charm."

"I appreciate everything you are, and I don't care how sentimental that may be." With his face hidden in the curve of Severus' throat to hide what he suspected was an adoring smile, Remus could not immediately sense the reaction to these words, though he could feel Severus lifting his hand. He had the thought that the other man might kiss his knuckles, and received a strange, painful shock when his fingers were placed on something scalding-hot and seething.

"You speak of what you do not know, nor want to know," Severus uttered, taking Remus' hand from the Mark on his arm. "I have spent enough of my life trying to atone..."

"Shh." Lifting his head, Remus raised the tender fingers to Severus' face. "You've nothing to atone for here, and I would want you anyway."

"It would seem that you have me."

"Then please stay tonight." Though he couldn't help blushing a little as he kissed him, Remus kept his voice light, and Severus took it as a cue to repond in kind.

"Only if you will loan me a toothbrush. Our teeth will rot from all this chocolate. Fortunately I know a potion..."

"You know a *potion*! Why, Professor Snape, I never would have guessed."

The mockery earned him a lowered eyebrow, but the tension had vanished entirely, and Severus was smirking when he said, "Fifty points from Gryffindor for questioning my competence."

"But that's not fair. And you have chocolate in the corner of your mouth."

Leaning forward, he licked Severus' lips, and chin, and his nose for good measure, though Severus kept interrupting to kiss him and did not seem particularly interested in stopping even after his face was clean. "Greedy," he warned softly, though whether he was making the accusation against Remus or himself was hard to say.

"I'm making up for my earlier privation," Remus smiled, kissing him once more.

"Then we must endeavor to make certain that you are never so deprived again, Remus." Severus cocked his head. "'Lupin' rolls more sweetly off the tongue. Like chocolate." He placed a piece of candy in Remus' mouth and smirked at the moan that followed. "To be enjoyed slowly. I believe I shall."