Evil Masterminds, or Becoming Draco Malfoy

Chapter Four: The Wee Small Hours

    Returning from dinner, Madeline and Hannah found Ernie sitting on the floor in front of a boiling cauldron, Malfoy in his chair, eating what appeared to be chocolate chip cookies, and Justin pacing the floor, glaring resentfully at Malfoy.

    "Justin, weren't those the cookies your mother sent you for your birthday?" Hannah inquired.

    "They *were*, yes," replied Justin, sending a scathing look at Draco. Draco just smiled smugly. "He said he was starving and that we were abusing him unmercifully,"

    "Nonsense, we're abusing him quite mercifully," Madeline interrupted.

    "and that he would hate us all forever, especially me for not letting him try those delicious-looking cookes. Of course, 'trying' then turned into 'hoarding selfishly'."

    "Justin, sweetie, how many times do I have to tell you," Hannah asked tiredly, shaking her head. "Draco Malfoy is *evil*. Even if he is acting pitiful, he is still *evil*."

    "Oh, like you four are saints," muttered Malfoy.

    "Did you get to have *any* of them?" asked Madeline, as, once again, the Hufflepuffs concertedly ignored Malfoy.

    "Half of one."

    "See, Hannah, you didn't have to bring that pot roast for Malfoy after all."

    "Pot roast?" Malfoy's head shot up and his face was eager.

    "Dear Merlin, are all boys pigs?" Madeline asked exasperatedly.

    Hannah sniffed and glared at Draco. "Well, you don't get any *now*, Malfoy, since you ate all of Justin's birthday cookies. He will get the roast." She proceeded to produce a full plate of not only roast, but vegetables and a roll from behind her back. Justin nearly tripped over himself in his hurry to snatch the supper.

    Malfoy pouted, but was severely ignored.

    "Did you get anything to eat, Ernie?" asked Hannah, ever the mother figure.

    "Hmm?" He barely glanced up from his task. "Oh, yes, I stole some cookies from Malfoy when he wasn't looking."

    Hannah and Madeline stared, Justin and Malfoy glared.

    "So, wait... you snitched cookies from the already-snitched cookies?" Madeline asked, cocking her head to the side.

    "Mmm-hmm."

    "Ah. Just so we're clear."

    Silence.

    "So... how's the potion going?"

    "Excellent. It's almost ready. Granted, most of my plan was half-arsed, but with the Polyjuice I was quite thorough. Prepared ahead of time and all that. Gathered the ingredients weeks ago." Ernie finally looked up from his work. "Now, the only thing we need to do is figure out who is going to be Draco Malfoy for a week."

    "You dunderheads are never going to be able to pull this off, you realize," Draco interjected. It was somewhat hard to take him very seriously, though, when he had chocolate smeared all around his mouth. Madeline pushed away the disturbing images that flashed through her mind at the sight. "Someone will realize that it's not me, and when they do, you four will fry for being the utter morons that you are."

    "Malfoy, have you ever even *considered* being nice?" queried Hannah.

    Draco sniffed. “I was being *excruciatingly* nice.”

    "Who's going to be Malfoy?" Ernie asked again, bringing everyone back to the point. "Shall we do a coin toss?"

    "No," replied Madeline. "I think it should be Justin."

    A collective gasp was heard. Justin looked slightly affronted.

    "And why shouldn't it be me?" he asked defensively.

    "Oh, Justin, honey, we weren't insulting you," Hannah said consolingly.

    "Yes, we were," Draco interjected.

    "It's just that," Hannah continued, "we're just not sure that... you could pull it off."

    "Of course he couldn't pull it off, are you daft woman? Why the hell would you think that-"

    "You can jinx him now!" Madeline said over Draco's tirade.

    Hannah looked delighted and proceeded to cast her favorite variation of the tickling hex. As if she would even consider using some more violent, ruthless hex. That was not her style. She did, however, get some sadistic enjoyment out of seeing Malfoy squirm and hearing him giggle like a little girl.

    So did the rest of the Hufflepuffs, who watched Malfoy a few minutes before returning to the arguement at hand.

    "I think Justin is the best option because he is the most... moldable," Madeline continued. "I think he could more easily adapt to being Malfoy than you could Ernie. And I am quite sure neither Hannah nor I wishes to be a boy for a week."

    Hannah nodded fervently, glancing occassionally at the maniacally giggling Malfoy.

    "Ernie, darling, I just don't think you could fit into Malfoy's life for a while. You are too set in yourself and would have a hard time adjusting. Besides that, you're a horrible actor."

    "And Justin is a terrific actor?" Ernie asked increduously.

    "I think with enough coaching, Justin would do just fine."

    "And I assume you will be doing the coaching," said Malfoy, wiping tears from his eyes, his laughter getting back under control.

    "Well, we all will," Madeline answered. "I mean, we've all seen you in action, it shouldn't be too difficult. And then we need to come up with ways to ruin your life." She tapped her chin, looking thoughtful. "What would be the best way to destroy Draco's reputation?" she asked the Hufflepuffs.

    The other three broke into distinctly evil grins. Malfoy began to look worried.

    "The potion should be ready by tomorrow afternoon. I say we break up for the night, you ladies get some sleep, and we'll meet back later to create the new Draco Malfoy," Ernie said, dragging his cauldron into the corner and cleaning up the ingredients.

    They nodded, and were about to leave when Malfoy asked, "And where am I going to sleep? In this wretched chair? Do you people have any heart at all?"

    Madeline looked to Hannah. "Should we try telling him to go to hell now?"

    Hannah smiled, but shook her head.

    Justin sighed. "You can sleep in my bed, Malfoy."

    "Oh, no he can't!" Madeline exclaimed. "Aren't you going to learn after the whole cookie fiasco that giving into Draco Malfoy is a *bad* thing, Justin? He can sleep in the damn chair."

    "Now why don't you jinx her, Abbott? She's cursing!" Malfoy said indignantly.

    Hannah blinked and look scandalised. "But Madeline's my friend!"

    "Or better yet," Madeline continued, shooting Hannah a grateful and slightly apologetic look, "transfigure the chair into a cot. The binding hex would still apply since technically it was still the chair, wouldn't it?"

    Hannah nodded.

    It took the four of them to be able to do so, but eventually Malfoy was granted a small, lumpy cot to sleep on. Malfoy muttered about there being no justice in the world. Madeline responded, with much fist-shaking, that they could just as easily return the cot to it's chair-state and he could sleep like that all night. Malfoy glared fiercely at her, but didn't complain anymore.

    Back in her own dorm room, Madeline fell asleep wondering to herself which would be funnier to see: Malfoy frolicking down the corridors of school, or Malfoy wearing the regulation Hogwarts uniform skirt.

    Madeline was less than amused, however, when she was awoken by a knock at the door at two in the morning. Being closer to the door, she groaned, muttering maledictions on whoever had the audacity to disturb her slumber, crawled out of bed, and opened the door.

    It was Justin, looking alert and wary.

    Madeline was immediately worried.

    "It's Malfoy," he announced without preamble.

    "Shh!" Madeline hissed, glancing back toward where Susan Bones, the third dormmate, slept. Luckily for her Susan slept like a troll and was completely oblivious to the illicit rendez-vous.

    In a quieter tone, Justin continued, "He has to take a piss."

    Pause.

    "And you just wanted to share this with me?" asked Madeline, still groggy and not comprehending.

    "Hannah's charm won't let him leave the cot."

    "Oh!" Madeline took extreme pleasure from waking Hannah up to deliver the message. Hannah looked ready to murder when first awaken, but once she understood what she was required to do, she jumped up and headed out the door, not bothering to throw on a robe, bent on aiding the suffering hostage. Madeline followed, wanting to embarass Malfoy as much as humanly possible.

    Which she was fairly sure she succeeded in doing. Draco was sitting on the cot, clothes wrinkled, hair rumpled, eyes heavy; though they immediately came into focus and began glaring once Madeline walked through the door.

    "I hardly think this required the both of you in attendance," he said pointedly in a deeper, slightly sleep-slurred voice as his cheeks turned pink. Madeline found Malfoy's barely-woken-up voice very sexy, and the way he subtlely scanned her body (clad in pajama pants and a tank top) somewhat disturbing. In a good way. She did cross her arms over her chest, however, and glared right back at him.

    "I came for moral support," she responded haughtily, nodding to Hannah. Hannah raised an eyebrow at her, nearly mimicking Draco's skeptical expression. Madeline ignored them both.

    "Hannah, make sure your orders are very specific. We don't want him trying to escape," Ernie spoke up.

    Hannah did as told and stood outside the boy's lavatory door while waiting for Malfoy to... erm... finish.

    "We really need to come up with a more efficient method of handling Malfoy's needs," said Madeline, leaning against Justin's bedpost. "I really don't want to be woken up at two in the morning again, and I can't imagine what would happen if he decided to take advantage of this and raise false alarms just to annoy us."

    "Ugh. Good point," said Ernie, stroking his chin thoughtfully. "Hannah, why don't you just teach us all the spell, that way whoever's watching him at the moment can use it."

    Hannah did as told, once again. Such a good little helper, she was; the remark earned Madeline a scowl from Hannah and a rather rude response about what exactly Madeline could do with her 'moral support.' Once said, the assembled group stared in awe at Hannah, including Malfoy, who had returned from the loo, while Hannah hid her face in her hands.

    "I am so sorry. I am not a morning person. It must be the evilness coming from Malfoy, it's wearing off on me," she murmured in distressed tones.

    "That's all right, darling," cooed Madeline, taking the other girl by the shoulders and steering her toward the door. "Let's just get you away from the bad, bad Malfoy."

    "I didn't even *do* anything!" the abused captive exclaimed indignantly, only to be, as becoming their habit, ignored.

    Madeline fell asleep the second time that night trying to push the image of a tousled and sleepy-eyed Draco out of her mind.