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The entire Order of the Phoenix (inc.) eavesdrop on Ron and Hermione. Hilarity ensues.

Draco Malfoy leads a content life as an Auror until one day his partner, Marcus Flint, is killed. Of course the enraged former Slytherin vows to find the murderer, but there is one catch: the only witness is Ginny Weasley, whose curiosity tangles her up in the mystery as well as the life of the reluctant Draco.

Harry receives a strange letter from a girl in America. Poor Harry is a Prefect now and has to deal with Voldemort trying to making his life a living heck. Humor, Action, Flying Books, and more people in the cast than most people in their right minds would know what to do with.

Justin and Seamus are dating, but they haven't exactly told Dean...

'Professor' Rosmerta holds a history class all her own on a cold February day in the Three Broomsticks with Ron, Harry, and Hermione in attendance.

Sirius wakes up on a normal day with a normal hangover and goes through his normal routine until the blasted doorbell rings with a very unexpected visitor.

What does it take for James to get a date with Lily to Hogsmeade?

Draco and Hermione find themselves having to decorate Slytherin Dungeons for the upcoming Christmas day… Will they survive the task?

Someone wholly unsuspected slips away to help the other side -- or is it only the desire of her own heart she serves? ``Well, who did YOU think it was?

What does it take for a transfer to get by at Hogwarts? Is it enough to have a funny accent, a technicolor familiar, and detailed instructions from your grandmother on everything? A look at Hogwarts during PoA for a fifth-year ``transfer. WARNING: There will be little to no Harry Potter involvement in this ``fic. It really is all about the Slytherins, with the occasional Weasley.

Harry's celebrating his fifth birthday the same as always. A gift from Hagrid, Ron, Hermoine, and a letter from Sirius. It's an Average Birthday as usual ... and we all know what that means. What's going on behind the scenes this year at Hogwarts? If you think we're gonna tell you in the summary, you're a march hare. We've got Sirius, Dumbledore, and the whole cast here backing our story, complete with a new Dark Arts teacher (you expected otherwise?) and some new students ... even Hogwart's first ever exchange students! With Voldemort's return, the countryside is in turmoil, running rampant with reports of missing persons and even a few panicky whispers about sightings of Dark Marks ... I'm running out of breath ... Just read it now!

A short yarn spun off of \\

The kids are eighteen and single. Being famous, they make plenty of television appearances on Wizard Digital. Gilderoy Lockhart is the host of The Dating Game, and Hermione is today's contestant. When one of the bachelors can't make it, Harry is dragged into the show. This proves that you should never talk someone into a competition.

It's Christmas time once more at Malfoy Manor and Draco explains how Hermione went crazy and that he's drowning in decorations.

Draco does not fancy his new flat mate. He can barely tolerate him. Featuring nudity, Latin dancing, Christmas parties and a love-sick Snape! Draco/Harry (with some Hermione/Blaise)

The Ladies Man...Draco Malfoy...answers ALL da romantice queires on his show. He can tell you how to hook up with a fine bus station skank and do the Alabama Crabdangle--yeah, dis is freaky. And so is The Ladies Man. ``He also enjoys dramatic interpetations, especially of the "relationship" between a certain Professor and Student. Yeah, dats right.

MWPP make a bet with the Slytherins over who will win the House Chamionship. The stakes are high, and as each house gets more determined, rules and morals are discarded completely...

Twenty-two-year-old Hermione Potter is bored. She's ready to pass out from the boredom when, low and behold, her husband returns home. So . . . let's just say Gryffindor's Valedictorian finds ways to cure herself from boredom. Unfortunately, their daughter comes home early. For the Pumpkineers at SCUSA! Mushiness abound, along with some humor and some good ol' . . . smooching.

A fluke over the winter holiday leaves Remus Lupin in a very bad mood indeed, and it's up to Snape to track him down, with a little hidden help from a big black dog... set during PoA.

Severus and Hermione, at one another's throats. Preferably going somewhere.

What happens when the students take a matchmaker test? Why, the school goes mad of course!

Ever why Ginny didn't throw a fit when Draco kissed her at the end of 'Sleeping To Dream'? Documents Ginny as Draco makes his way through the girls of Gryffindor in search of his 'dream girl'. Loosely based on Franz Ferdinand's 'This Fire'. Sequel to 'Sleeping To Dream'. D/G

Lily tutors James in Astronomy. Leaves you feeling warm and fuzzy.

Fred and George, George and Fred. The marvellous pranksters would like to offer you a Canary Cream.

Get drunk in a bar. Wake up next to a stranger. But what if he isn't a stranger? And what if it's more than once?

Draco Malfoy's thoughts on his relationship with Harry Potter. Slash.

Christina is fresh, excited and above all innocent. She believes that there's something good inside every one of us. That's until she joins a babysitting agency and agrees to look after a certain pair of Weasley toddlers.

A short fic detailing what our favourite characters do when not in use. Please forgive me for the unoriginal title.

Ronald is having a problem! He's thinking riddikulus things about a certain girl...or maybe the thoughts aren't that ridiculous!

Sirius and Remus while away the hours at Grimmauld Place. Sirius drinks and broods; Remus reads and eats chocolate. Tonks arrives every evening and breaks up the monotony.... Until one night, between the tea cart and the door, she manages to send the routine entirely out the window. This is the touching and heart-warming story of one musty old parlor's adventures in stolen underpants, truly horrendous werewolf pickup lines, and firewhiskey for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and everything in between.

A short semi-fluffy fic about Draco proposing marriage to Hermione.

Er, revenge of the Hufflepuffs. Rated PG-13 for some language unsuitable for badgers.

The interviews continue... This time Willow von Weasel herself is interviewing none other than Lucius Malfoy. It seems they have something in common...

Harry has defeated Voldemort and retreated from the magical world. When he comes across the one person who used to idolize him, it will either tear him apart or be just what he needed to mend.

An interior monologue courtesy of everyone's favorite Dark Lord. Voldemort's thoughts as he faces Harry for the last time.

From zed’s ANALogy and TOPology Potterverse. Harry and Draco spent some quality time together in a disused equipment storeroom with disastrous results. Will Harry be able to save the day yet again, and live up to his boast: "Don’t worry. I will be."? Featuring Delinquent!Harry and Smug!Draco, sarcastic classmates and the dreaded best-friend-from-Hell, ItchyFist!Ron.

Bored due to being cooped up in 12 Grimmauld Place, Fred and George decide a prank is necessary to lighten the mood. As a result, they end up learning some surprising information about two of their house guests.

"If there was one thing that lowered him to the use of baser instincts it was the sight of Potter..." (H/D, Slash)

THE RECIPE FOR DISASTER``49 packets of Cheesy Nibbles, 15 kegs of Butterbeer, 2 crates of Firespirits, 45 twenty-something magic folks. (For best results include a squeeze of Werewolf, a pinch of rat, a plastered brace of hosts, and for that sharp tang - one socially inept, mentally unstable DeathEater.)``**To aid mixing, be sure to add a dash of Sirius Black: Cocktail Mixer Extraordinaire.``Instructions: Put folks together in a small cottage in a remote village in Wales. Add all alcohol, and leave to marinade for the evening in own juices. Then stand well back.

Thirteen-year-old Remus discovers that certain elements of his education have been sorely lacking.

After a chance meeting with a girl named Jenny, Harry is determined to find her. But it seems like she does not live within the area, or does she? Ron thinks he's stupid, Hermione says he should move on. But, Harry just can't seem to let Jenny go. Should he?

This fic is nothin more or less than a simple parody of Monty Python and the Holy Grail. In this chapter, Harry finds a "noble steed," and "knights" some of his friends. But what hiss happen next? (Dramatic music plays in the background.)

Hermione is pregnant and is struggling with her looks. She thinks she is taller laying down.

After Ron ruins a yellow cake with chocolate icing, Hermione gets upset. To cheer her up, Draco begins a cake fight. ^.^

What happens when the wizards and witches of Hogwarts dress as Muggles for Halloween? Well, Draco gets the wrong outfit, Ron gets too into his character, and Harry has some handcuffs.

Draco watches Harry. He thinks he isn't noticed, but eventually, all will be revealed in the dungeons, much to the horror of both Snape and Ron, and the giggling amusement of Hermione.

Sequel to "Harry Potter and the Half-Witted Prince." A spoof of Deathly Hallows. Harry is retarded, Ron likes dancing, Hermione is hot. What more needs to be said?

An answer to the question, "Would Ron ever get irritated at all those overdue notices he's getting from Hermione 'borrowing' his library card?"

Voldemort has united the Death Eaters with the mighty Neville Longbottom in an attempt to force the Ministry to legalize Marijuana. Meanwhile, Draco and Hermione are arrested and Snape is the victim of some good one-liners. Features many high characters, beanbag chairs, bitchy policewomen, and Lucius reminiscing about good times. Ahh, good times.

Written for the Portkey 7 'fore 7 challenge, theme #1. James finds a certain muggle... innovation lying around the common room and has difficulty identifying it. Lucky for him, everyone seems willing to help.

Dudley goes to Smeltings, and learns what there is to gain in life. Features the Hog Squad, irony, hot girls, pointy sticks, and the ever-interesting Piers Polkiss' philosophies of life.

Lily and James on their wedding day. This is what they want, right? A short fic about the confused thoughts flying through two young lovers' heads on their wedding day.

Great scientific discoveries are made serendipitously. Wands make their presence felt. If you are claustrophobic, do not read this.

Life’s not peachy when you’re obsessed with hair… How does Lavender cope with Potions homework, Slytherin-induced humiliation and an always-grumpy-in-the-mornings Parvati while still finding time to set up Ron and Hermione? Be warned, there is soggy fluff – it got drenched in the pumpkin juice. (Eventual LB/DT.)

COMPLETE. Have you ever wondered who jinxed the DADA position? Contains a challenge. Please, please review!!

You thought that you had seen the last of Draco Malfoya, aka Malfoya the Tree, but no. He's back, and he's holding auditions for his musical, Ten Sickle Hooker! And of course, as usual, our favorite trio gets mixed up in all the madness! Musical mania is finally sweeping Hogwarts. Sequel to Harry Potter and Hermione's Insatiable Appetite

An old family secret, old family friends, and new snogs galore. Rated R for later chapters, this one isn't bad at all.

At the battered age of thirteen, Remus Lupin is accepted to Hogwarts with the arrival of a new Headmaster. His miserable street life is about to change, for better and worse, as everything he once knew is torn away. This is his tale of coping with lycanthropy, prejudice, a hectic family life, and of course, the Marauders. Remus Lupin will never be the same...

Earlier that evening, Remus kissed Sirius on a drunken dare. And it didn't mean anything at all. Nope. Nothing at all.

The Sequel to Prosapia Aenigmatis - The Family Riddle. This story takes place during the summer holidays. Quinn Finnigan and Aislinn Macnair are spending the summer together, but their friendship is causing tension with everyone else they know. The Weasley twins open a joke shop, Aislinn dyes her hair, lots of snogging occurs - some expected, some not, and Quinn plots to kill Fred for various reasons. Voldemort is planning to find something which will help him regain his full power and immortality. No one is prepared for his actions, and a tragic death tears apart both of the girls' lives. With September 1st quickly approaching they try desperately to fight the evils that surround them, and to pull their lives back together.

Meet Draco Malfoy--a teenage Slytherin who is certain he would have``all the answers if he could:````a. lose 15 pounds``b. win the Quidditch Cup``c. win the House Cup````Draco Malfoy's Diary is the devastatingly self-aware, tongue-in-cheek daily``chronicle of Draco's permanent, doomed quest for self-improvement--a school year in which he resolves to: beat Potter at Quidditch, beat Granger at O.W.L.s, and beat Weasley at everything.

Hermione wants to go in costume to the Halloween Feast, but she wants the costumes to be spectacular. She hits upon an idea--seven students go as the seven deadly sins. It seems to go well, until a spell goes wrong and mayhem ensues. Can Ron contain any more anger? Can Parvati contain her own love for herself? And what about Draco's new lustful urges for just about everyone?

This is a fic about the Marauders 5th year. I have decided to pretend that Peter and Voldie don't exist, since I don't like killing people off (Peter) and I can't write the sadness that comes w/ Voldie.

In a script-like fic, Alex Trebec hosts Harry, Ron, and Malfoy in a difficult journey.

Harry's become the Chocolate Zombie. Ron's writing bad love poetry. ``So's Hermione, but hers is marginally better. Malfoy the Hot, Sexy Slytherin is ``running around rampant. Authors are arguing in the air. The evil Nazi children ``are scheming to take over the world. Ah, sweet normalcy. ^_^

Ron Weasley has been looking forward to his fishing trip with Harry for months. For reasons unknown, Harry has asked Luna to tag along with them, and Ron gets more than he could have possibly bargained for....

According to tradition, there are always fairy godmothers to make sure that living nightmares become dreams and to see that the princess gets her prince - soft-hearted old women with a fondness for pumpkins - so Severus says: why him?

George offers Ron some advice.

Tired of all those 5th year fan fics that seem to be cut from the same robe? All those worn out, over used plot lines for Harry's Fifth Year getting you down? Are you ready for something new, something original, something that has never been written before in all of Harry Potter Fandom?! WELL THEN, don't read this fic. However, if you're the kind of person that can laugh at yourself, than have I got a Fic for you. Enter here, and you'll find...well, just enter and you'll find out. A parody of Harry Potter's Fifth Year and the ever omniscient and unseen Order of the Phoenix (well, at least until June 21st) which I probably enjoyed writing more than you'll enjoy reading. Go on, just try and prove me wrong!

“Dear Mr. Potter, ``It has come to our attention that recently your reputation has taken a slight fall. We have had an idea that could reverse this unfortunate problem. We would like to sponsor a contest where a lucky, young witch wins a chance to go on a date with you! This would greatly improve your approval rating with the public. Please send an owl back with your response. ``Thank you very much, ``Mervalyn Skower, spokeswitch for Mrs. Skower’s Magical Mess Remover.”

After a hardy Quidditch try-out, Angelina overhears an interesting conversation from the locker room. Just who is it out there and why are they bloody screaming?

Draco and Hermione each take a much needed vacation. Too bad they end up on the same crowded beach during a heatwave!

Harry buys a Play-Wizard magazine, but when he tries to enjoy it, he keeps getting interrupted! Will he ever get to read his magazine?

Based on a piece of fanart by Anneth Lagamo with the following caption: Two Aurors run into an old friend at Florean Fortescue's. Oneshot.

Harry receives a mysterious x-mas gift that threatens to snatch away his happy existence. H/Hr.

Albus thinks that Severus is having trouble adjusting after the end of the war. He suggests the Potions Master sees a therapist. Too bad she's a complete nutjob.

Sequel to "A Touch of Pink". It is one month after the pink nightgown incident. Ron Weasley anticipates new girlfriend Hermione's arrival at the Burrow, and also ponders the complexities of wearing men's cologne.

What happens when a Muggle stumbles upon Hogwarts grounds? What if her arriving there was no accident?

It's Harry's fifth year at Hogwarts, and he needs to take an extra class to improve his average. The Muggle studies professor thinks that muggle pen friends will be just the thing to help the students learn about the muggle world!

Chaos ensues when the twins convince Harry and Ron to test one of their joke products. After taking the potion, the two boys experience a strange inability to keep their mouths shut. Hermione and Ginny note this development with no small amount of humor, but in the end, the boys get their revenge.

Severus Snape is in his fifth year at Hogwarts, where James Potter routinely makes his life miserable. With the help of his friend, Zabini, Severus develops a scheme for revenge--but it may not be as perfect as he thought.

You must be familiar with the concept: sneaking late at night, Harry and Draco trapped in Snape's Potions closet... but this snoglet has a little twist that's uniquely its own.

A hilariously convoluted and contrived series of events leads to meticulously described goings on in broom closets and other uncomfortable and/or exposed areas of the school. No one’s worried about Professor Flitwick disturbing the oral sex, and its ok, cause that never happens! (All brains to be left at the door, please)

Harry goes through his last year in Hogwarts contemplating about girls, Voldemort, and hormones. Shows the angst and eagerness of a teenager torn apart in the last stages of his school year. A tribute to those poor Muggles who only have pills and condoms for contraceptives.

While meeting before work, Ron, Harry, and Hermione discover that their least favourite reporter has posted a new article.

Set on the eve of the Trio's sixth year. Stuck at 12 Grimmauld Place for what seems to be an eternity, the adults of the Order find themselves disputing Hermione Granger's seemingly fickle love life and the respective places of Ron Weasley and Harry Potter within it.

What happens when Dumbledore gets sick of Harry taking too long to kill Voldie? He turns hippie. Not only that. DARK hippie. Yes, you heard it right. He's going to use Harry to kill Voldie and become the new baddie himself. And he's transformed all of the staff into peace-loving fools. Oh, the horror!

Viktor's on "furlough" from the Order; he and Hermione engage in a bit of the old nudge, nudge, wink, wink. Or at least, they try to. Problem is, Harry and Ron are particularly dense about reading between the lines and figuring out what all the nudging and winking mean. Viktor and Hermione are simply trying to catch some time alone, and frankly, subtlety is getting them nowhere. But the two of them are nothing if not clever and resourceful! Featuring a very knowing Neville, a slightly strangled Ginny, an extremely naive Harry and Ron, and a very randy (but still very levelheaded) Viktor and Hermione. Rated R for severe comic naughtiness and wicked innuendo. We all knew there was something missing from the Hogwarts curriculum.

Everyone staying at the Burrow is out and about, and Harry and Ron are home alone. Pathetically cute, (if you like boys in dresses), fluffy and sweet.

Why hasn't Harry ever had a steady girlfriend? Lavender's got a good idea why. Once Harry's got a push in the right direction, he realizes that maybe Draco doesn't look so much like a ferret after all. Actually, he's kind of hot...Slashy, fluffy, and (hopefully) funny!

Teenagers often don't tell anyone around them what is going on in their crazy minds, but they often write them down on paper to express what is wrong with them. Dumbledore has an idea to fix the problem. Why not send the entries to each other? You will see what happens in this story of James and Lily.

Just how did Viktor Krum ask Hermione to the Yule Ball? This fic explains everything, and find out exactly why it was a huge mistake.

A vial of an unknown substance prompts Daniel to journey to London for a *proper* lab. An angry Severus Snape joins him, determined to prove Daniel's obsession with the 'facts' of science wrong.

Oliver Wood is obsessed with Quidditch. Really obsessed with Quidditch. (Cedric Diggory/Oliver Wood slash)

The war has ended and they are back at Hogwarts to finish their last year. Harry is surprised to find Draco Malfoy amongst them. More surprises to come when Harry accidentally walks in on Draco in the prefects' bathroom.

Obviously, plot bunnies exist. But how much do you know about them? This ficlet attempts to explore the natural history of plot bunnies and how they have affected literature.

It's Bill and Fleur's wedding day, and the Burrow is in a state of chaos. The groom is unconscious, Ron's wearing a du-rag, Harry and Ginny are in a dark room with the door closed, and Fred and George are doing a bit of ill-timed market research. Also, we finally get the answer to that age-old question: is Professor Lupin in the closet? Who's catatonic? Who's bald? And what possesses Molly Weasley to do something socially unacceptable (the same infraction for which she's forever scolding her children)? Written for "A Very Random Comedy Challenge" on FAP, posted by Write Away the Pain.

Suddenly notice that you have a werewolf in the house? Who ya gonna call?

Written in response to the Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows in 10 Pages or Less challenge!

What really happened in HBP. Lots of DracoObsessed!Harry, MarySue!Ginny and Dumbledore's bling bling.