3,881 - 3,900 of 5,429 Stories

How is it to spend four days upside down in a toilet? Montague tells his story!

Malfoy became a Death Eater and was caught by Harry. For his punishment{on Harry's request}, he was turned into a ferret. He escapes into a nearby house, which happened to be Neville Longbottom's. Just a warning, the narrators are insane! This is where our story begins...

It's Halloween and Draco is bored stiff out of his mind. So, what does he get up to in the Forbidden Forest? Who does he, unfortunately, meet there unexpectedly? Something goes terribly wrong; will Draco have to live with it forever? Find out who and what Stompy is!

In the traditional fairytale innuendo... nothing makes much sense...

Hermione's parents want to meet the two boys who are her best friends to make sure they're not her boyfriends. When Harry and Ron show up at the Grangers' for Christmas, hilarity follows. That also might have to do with the boy-hating father or the lovesick neighbour.

Ron and Hermione have invited Harry to move in with them, and Harry wants to. The only problem is explaining exactly why to Remus and Sirius...``Harry/Ron/Hermione and Remus/Sirius

Boys behaving badly! Harry and Ron make a bet to see who can get a date to the Harvest Ball first.

At the first Quidditch game of Harry's sixth year, Ginny shows off some brilliant Chasing, the Slytherins attempt vengeance, and Harry feels unusually protective.

“I’m putting the parchment in my trousers for safe-keeping, and then going for a stroll in the Great Hall. I’m hoping I won’t be stripped in public.” ``“You can’t put my essay in your trousers!”

We didn't have the focus to go to sleep, but simply thinking was enough to send us all over the edge to insanity. Obviously, end of term exams had just finished, and we needed something to do. So I went and got Fred and George's Christmas present to me...

It is a few years after Neville Longbottom's graduation from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The wizarding world is back to some semblance of normalcy. Neville is well-suited to his job, he has his own place, and enjoys the rather new sensation of what some might call confidence, from time to time. Now all he needs is "the girl."

They say that role play can spice things up in the bedroom... But will it work for Seamus and Dean?

Snape has been pissing many people off lately, especially Sirius. With the help of Lily, James, Peter and Remus they make up a genius plan, which is sure to make Snape loathe them more and teach him a lesson, never to mess with the marauders again. But will all go well?

Inspired by the Halloween Costume discussion on the O&U thread in the SCUSA forum. "It was a night of firsts..... The mystery of what had happened to the Head Boy and Head Girl had been solved..."

Or, "The Extremely Satisfying Deaths of 'Professor' Umbridge". See three short stories of everyone's most hated teacher being eaten, fried, baked, shot, and blown to smithereens!

Draco and Ginny mess up the potion they are working on. Filch is suspicious. Hijinks ensue.

When Harry realizes that Hermione and Ron may not be fated for one another, he does his best to make Ron realize what he's missing. In the process, Harry makes some realizations of his own.

At the end of August 2013, Harry and Ginny Potter are invited to Hogwarts to investigate a spate of anonymous letters and vandalism. But poisonings and brutal murder convince them that things are more serious - and then their son Sirius gets involved... See Harry and Ginny as Quidditch man and wife! See the conflict between the Professors! See the mysterious Ancient Runes Teacher! Learn what happened to Hermione's old dorm-mate, Mary-Sue Moonchild! And learn how the Ministry persuaded Professor McGonagall to nationalise the Hogwarts House-elves!

I don't know what this is about, read it, cos I'm pretty. Starts after OotP. Harry becomes emo (i.e an angsty whiner). Philosophies change.

The Marauders and Company get their hands on some muggle board games. Hilarity ensues.

His owl is a nutter, his potions teacher wears plaid socks, and someone left a mysterious nappy somewhere in the dorm. Ergghhhlack. But still, add some prank pulling, good friends, and mysterious poking people, and school might not be as bad as it seems.

Lucius Malfoy is finding the task of killing Harry Potter very annoying. Also, he is surrounded by morons. Poor, poor Lucius.

What goes on when Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Cho and Draco enter the Big Brother game show? Who will be voted out first, and what is this strange fascination with armpits?

Severus Snape has been kidnapped and replaced by a poorly written interloper from another novel. Jurisfiction agent Thursday Next must enter the pages of “Harry Potter” to set things right with the help of some familiar faces. RomanticHero!Snape doesn’t stand a chance.

The trio are stuck in the hospital wing following the mayham in the Ministry of Magic. Hermione is sick of it, Ron's enjoying the break and Harry can't make up his mind. Add a visit from Ginny who is eager to improve the bedside manner of her brother, and it's certain that love doctor Ginny will succeed! R/Hr implied G/H

As Hermione continues her stand on House-Elf rights, something very surprising happens that sends her emotions spiraling in a direction she didn't even know existed, starting with a question and ending with flowy blue dress robes.

AU Fic; Severus Snape isn't as horrible as he appears. When Harry Potter walks in for a wrongfully given detention and finds Snape playing the Nintendo game Narc, his relationship with his Potions master changes...

Rita Skeeter enjoys writing about Harry. Now that Hermione is letting her write again, she decided to do a huge piece on him.

James is going to ask Lily to marry him, and has it all planned, but even the best-laid plans can go wrong!

When Ron loses in job in the Department of Magical Games and Sports after``injuring the star Seeker of the Montrose Magpies, he takes up a job as coach of the London``Leprechauns, the worst team in the United Kindom Junior Quidditch League. Can he unite the``ragged group of players and teach them the true meaning of the greatest sport in wizardly``history? Will they win the championship? And will Ron be able to concentrate on his team``when his Hogwarts sweetheart is engaged to his rival team's head coach?

Draco Malfoy is having a rotten, bad, no good day. When he ends up getting advice from a ghost, does that make a difference?

Sequel to 1978. James, Sirius, and Remus, through a complete fluke, wind up in the future, right in time to visit Harry, Hermione, and Ron. Someone is ill, someone dies, someone's romance continued and all but one Marauder knows what will happen. (H/H, RL/PE)

Ghost!Sirius decides to pay a little nighttime visit to his godson so he can deliver some very crucial information ... or, at least, what he thinks is vital, that is....

Harry finds out Snape is his father. Or is he? Parody of all the Severitus stories out there.

Ron and Hermione look back at their wedding day and fondly remember the laughs of that day.

Two years after the fall of Voldemort, Hermione convinces Harry and a few Weasleys to try out trick or treating.

He's old, he's cranky, but he's still Harry. Listen in on an conversation between him and his new biographer.

Hermione might stay with Viktor Krum for Christmas, how is Ron going to take it? Knowing him, not well. R/Hr with a slight reference to H/G. Set in Harry's POV during sixth year.

He should have known better than to associate with them. At their best, Lavender and Parvati were a terror to all men. But when Lavender discovers a shocking bit of information about one Draco Malfoy, Harry finds himself an unwilling participant in a prank that will have deeper repercussions than he ever would have expected.

Draco thought Harry Potter was a dirty boy from the first time he saw him. [Pre-slash, Draco-centric]

Down in the dungeons, odd things happen late at night.

Will Lily fall for James? Will Sirius stop making out with House Elves? Will Remus accept what he is? Will Peter snap out of it? Will Alice and Frank EVER get together? And most importantly: Will everyone Survive September?

Reactions of the Azkaban staff on the night Sirius Black escaped.

A humourous look at what happens when Sirius finds a girl in the Boys Bathroom, and how neither of them will back down... Written by two people for a roleplay, this is an improvisational fanfic.

Lucius Malfoy confronts the ultimate dilemma. Featuring hair problems, the Evil Overlord Gift Guide, the results of Slashing Hexes, Draco's obsessions, Lucius' sanity issues, and what passes for normality among Malfoys.

PG for a stupid-humor rewrite of chapter 32 of GoF. Harry and Cedric run from Wormtail, who, in this version, is rather incompetent at "killing the spare."

A conglomeration of scenes, quotes and actions from the Harry Potter series scrunched together into short skits to prove for sure that no Harry Potter character should take part in intellectual combat with another. Slight exaggeration and warping of people, places, things, and nouns in general that have to do with HP may ensue.

As the title says, Voldemort decides to team up with the infamous lab mice, Pinky and the Brain, to do away with Harry Potter, once and for all. Voldie still has his ugly red eyes. Pinky reveals his true identity. Hedwig is the hero. But what will happen to Harry?

The four future founders--Godric Gryffindor, his lady love, Rowena Ravenclaw, her friend, Helga Hufflepuff, and a secret admirer, Salazar Slytherin--are in their last year of schooling at The English Academy for the Magical Arts. The foursome gets restless and excited at the upcoming break in their studies, and plan a little trip; O.K., so maybe it's not THAT little....

Crabbe and Goyle often find themselves thinking deep thoughts about life, the universe and everything. And they'd like to share them with other people. But Draco doesn't let them.

As a sign of my muse's growing insanity, my very first Harry Potter ficlet is a peek into the mind of young Harry Potter, living in denial over his growing feelings for Looney Lovegood. This is for everybody who read that marvelous last book and for a brief second thought that Harry and Luna would make a neat couple.

Pity poor Peter Pettigrew! All he wants is to be liked and admired. But when Lucius Malfoy gives him an offer he can't refuse – what's a boy to do? Sing and dance, obviously. A parody of the new classic musical "The Producers" by Mel Brooks. Featuring a song by Mr Crabbe!

Snape hates Christmas. In this short ficlet, find just one of the reasons why.

Mrs Weasley is fed up with eight-year-old Fred and George. They won't go to bed and almost wake up little Ginevra. Not only that, they have got Ron involved in their late night charades. When she drops off to sleep, the twins tell their younger a siblings a bedtime story

On a completely normal day Harry Potter slips over something. It turns out this "something" is actually Voldemort's weapon of DOOM!``Harry, being the hero, has to make sure Voldie doesn't get his slimy hands on this very important weapon.``This, of course, isn't as easy as it might sound...

'Draco watched him go.'

A masquerade ball to promote inter-house unity sparks a romance that has laid dormant. Featuring Ginny as Artemis, Hermione as Maid Marion, Harry as Peter Pan, and someone very unexpected as Robin Hood.

After a life and death situation, Hermione accidentally tells Draco she loves him.

Harry Potter, the boy-who-lived, Hermione Granger, the cleverest witch of her time, and Ron Weasley, the one who completed the trio. Yes, we heard of their stories, but what about the other students, the ones that we have not heard about. What were they doing while Potter was out saving the world? This is their story….

It's not so easy, you know, being a Dark Lord and intimidating people and all that. It's all about the act. It's a matter of practice. Assistant Director: Severus "I have to know my motivation" Snape. Beware of complete and utter nonsense.

31st December: I think someone keeps looking at my diary. Has appeared on some website under 'fanfic' or some such. Prob. Malfoy thieving. Stupid cane-twirling ponce. Hopefully not Bellatrix... mmm... Bellatrix....

Ginny, in the midst of a very bad day, causes an incident with the Knight Bus. (D/G)

"Merlin, Granger, I didn't taste that bad," came a spat from the conjoined bedroom. Hermione popped her head around the corner, pulling the purple, plastic toothbrush from her mouth.

Have you ever known something you shouldn't? Have you ever loved someone without knowing why? Maybe there's a reason.

Based on the short story, 'Belinda Buckle Fancies You' in David Lawrence's the 'Chocolate Teapot.' In which Harry writes a love letter, Pansy sulks, Neville falls from his chair and Snape hands out detentions. Set during HBP.

Dumbledore told Sirius to "lie low at Lupin's", so what do these two reunited buddies have to say to each other after twelve years?

Harry and Neville decide it's time to meet each other's guardians. They go to dinner with Sirius and dessert with Neville's grandmother.

A Post-Hogwarts fic that has Harry and Ron going on a adventure with a thousand drugs.

Ann has always had some strange theories. When one of them proves true, though, she finds herself with four teenage wizards landing in her shower. Her favorite four mischief makers have found their way from Hogwarts in the 1970s to America in 2004. Sure, it's great to get to know them, but how does she send them back?

Let's face it: Harry Potter's life has never, ever been normal (not even when the Dursleys oh-so considerately tried to give him one), and it never will be. All of his problems stem from the``strange guy we all know affectionately as He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. But, will our dearest You-Know-Who ever find a new, unique way to make Harry's life a living hell? Hell yes!

Ron tries to find a way to escape the excessive heat and Pansy Parkinson. Not necessarily in that order.

Sixth Year has begun, and Ron has a girlfirend. One with impeccable white blonde hair, combined with her brilliant blue eyes and uberskinny figure, not to mention her sweet temperament and love of all creatures great and small, she was the perfect girl. The ultimate Mary Sue. Hermione, however, likes Ron. And people are quickly tiring of Miss FuzzyHappyGirl Kalia. Not your typical OC fic. Or your typical fic at all. Funny, romantic and very Kalia-bashing. Onwards, to Merry Sueage! R/Hr for now. Expect other pairings as well.

Harry/Draco. What happens when the burden of knowing he's lusting after our favorite Slytherin becomes too much for his traumatized mind to bear? Will said Slytherin do it for him?

Severus never meant to get into the cult scene, really. All he wanted was a pretty pair of shoes. One shot.

Ron and Hermione are up late doing homework and Hermione falls asleep.

We ain't no Death Eaters - We're misunderstood. A filk by the Slytherin Class opposite Harry to Gee, Officer Krupke from West Side story.

Hermione's writing a story she wants to keep all to herself but Ron soon finds out about it and insults her. Ron is willing to do anything to make her forgive him, even things he doesn't think he CAN do. Lies, insults, apologies...this story ends with the best reward either can possibly receive.

It is Hermione’s 29th birthday, and her husband (a certain redhead whose name starts with the letter R), gives her what he thinks is the best birthday gift any woman could ask for - a broomstick. Is he right? Hermione doesn’t think so. But it isn’t all that it seems....

Ron has developed a love for the bean. However, because of its side effects Hermione wants him to give up the bean.

Who is this tall, dark, rugged man at Kings Cross station? No other than Harry Potter, and he’s sick and tired of been pushed around. Now, he’s out to show everyone that the term "bad boy" was invented for him. Hogwarts and Hermione will never know what hit them.

In our Trio's sixth year, the staff comes up with an interesting way to raise inter-house morale. That's right, a poker tournament! But things turn crazy when the butterbeer starts to flow. Featuring Snape in a red visor, McGonagall channeling Christina Aguilera, and Professor Sprout...in purple spandex?

In this sequel to A Geezer Wheezes, our steadfast biographer continues his research, learning more than he wanted to ever know about Harry Potter and his friends.

The tragic and sometimes horrifying tale of Nearly Headless Nick's accidental adventure through the Hogwarts castle during mating season. Please enjoy at your own risk.

Harry gets a flavor he's not expecting.

Sequel to Crookshanks and the Laser Pen. Harry recieves the laser pen, and when he is kidnapped by the Dark Lord he must rely on this tiny muggle toy to escape...

Daniel Jackson and Remus Lupin need to earn some money. They take an unlikely but obvious route; and we follow them through their lives thereafter.

There may be more to soggy lumps than Trelawney can tell...````The unpromised sequel to Omnia Vincit Amore. H/L fluff.

After a disastrous game against Hufflepuff, Harry goes to drown his sorrows in Hogsmeade. Unfortunately, he left his better judgement back in the showers, and end up making a mistake that will follow him around for as long as he tries to deny it. Having to come to terms with new discoveries about himself, Harry's in for a very difficult sixth year.

It takes two devils and a pair of cursed shoes to teach Tonks how to impress Remus.

The handsome, majestic, and... okay, I'll get to the point. I'm Crookshanks. As a cat-kneazle, I have a hobby of stealing things, biting things, and invoking chaos on all of witch and wizard kind.

Hermione is having a very bad day, indeed. She receives a letter from Ron, which she returns. They have a very simple, complicated conversation. R/Hr with some humor.

Harry has been sent to the head's office for bad behaviour and is waiting for Dumbledore to arrive when he spots the Pensieve lying on the desk.

James and Rose make pranks at naturally as most people breathe. Sometimes, they go a little wrong.

If you've read The Marauders: Year One, you know they were friends (or at least acquaintances) with the Gryffindor girls of their year. This is some of their stories.

Harry is sixteen, and his dating record is just plain sad. What is it that prevents his happiness? As it turns out, music.

Severus Snape is passed a note by his stalker, I mean Sybill Trelawney and of course Minerva McGonagall is loving it. (The ships included are only mentioned slightly).

Draco returns from exile after the war with Voldemort has ended and has a conversation with his former lover, Harry. But is Draco telling the truth about his life?

Levon Vahanian is a very respectable Armenian warlock in search of foriegn customers for his souvenir shop. One day, a flamboyantly dressed English man walks in his shop and asks him about how he saved the town from werewolves...

Hermione has never been drunk before. It's an astonishingly embarrassing experience. (Slight AU.)

Hermione wakes up and gets the shock of her life... Draco Malfoy in bed beside her. At first she's confused... then she remembers being at the Three Broomsticks and a bet she'd made with Malfoy. But if this isn't bad enough, Ginny walks in on them and Hermione finds herself in a sticky situtation.