3,801 - 3,820 of 5,429 Stories

Ever wonder what a headmaster does during sumer break? Ever wonder how the Triwizard Tournament got started? Ever wonder what Olympe Maxime looks like in a bikini? Well, the last will have to be left up to your imagination. But for the rest, here's the _real_ story! Originally written for the Try-Wizard Contest

Ron's getting engaged to Padma... and he lets his family find out the hard way. Will Hermione let him go through with it? Or will George save the day? Fun and fluffy. (H/G, R/Hr-goodness)

As Lily finishes the cleaning after one of The Marauder's little get togethers, she and nine-month-old Harry have a little conversation about dogs, girls, and life.

Harry, Draco, Luna, a promise, and an exchange.

Harry's been haunted by dreams all summer, but these are no ordinary dreams....Contains lots of romance and a few laughs!

A series of unfortunate events makes Albus Dumbledore nearly tumble out of his chair the morning after. A fluffy story for Overworked and Underappreciated.

Kittens and fireworks and ice-cream and fuzzies, cotton underwear and smiles and grammas and tummies-- these are NOT Draco Malfoy's favourite things. (Um. That's better in a sing-songy voice). Anyway, it's Christmasy fuzzy fluffy snarky!slash. H/D

Snape decides to branch out a bit on his upcoming assigment. Unfortunately, his target subjects are not cooperating.

Snape's found a new friend in Muggle English teacher Daniel Deschamps, but are Sirius and Lupin willing to allow it to exist?

Ron and Hermione are to be married on this happiest of days. The twins would rather not be there when it happens.

In the pureblood society that Phineas Nigellus inhabits, love, marriage and politics are invariably linked together. For a start there’s the pureblood politics that come into play, such as negotiating a dowry that isn’t a personal insult and working your way round the inter-family relations to ensure there won’t be any duels at the wedding. Then there’s the problem of actually finding a decent woman to marry and whether you’ll even like her in ten years' time, let alone love her. Whoever said that marriage was easy was a lying madman. Unless, of course, you find the right woman. Even so the chances of that are slim if all women are like your cousin and mother. Welcome to the world of Love, Marriage and Politics in the 1800s.

...I threw an over-obsessive girlfriend, a pyromaniac, someone who's obsessed with Sirius Black, someone who's never read the Harry Potter books, and myself back into Maurader Land? You shall see!

Everyone thinks of Hermione as being one of the most repressed human beings in the known world. But as she starts to jot down her thoughts on some sparse napkins, we are given a peek on her Muggle summer happenings. She contemplates romance novels and their food-like innuendo, her lace knickers that will never get pried from her girly bits and her position as the ugliest girl in existence.

Draco Malfoy is oh-so-very mean to Ginny Weasley, has a bad week, and catches the Snitch.

The definition for instinct is any unlearned behavior. A quirky little vignette where Draco Malfoy learns a lesson in animal attraction versus learned behavior.

There is much angst and woe at Hogwarts school after the Final Battle. Ginny hopes to solve this.

I am Luna, hidden mastermind. I am Loony Luna Lovegood, perceived as strange by all, confusing by most, and dim by some. I am the kook, the nut, the eccentric outsider… My absurdity frightens people at times, but for the most part, they believe I am a harmless weirdo. What these people don’t realize is that the Sorting Hat put me in Ravenclaw for a reason. I am Luna Lovegood, secret evil genius, and this is my story.

Harry's random thoughts as he lusts after Draco. Sequel to "Could It Get Any Worse?".

Confessions takes a look into the head of Meng Ting, a witch who really couldn't get be any more of a minority where she's going. Delve deep and get to what lies beneath that witch's hat and find out that really, we're not all that different after all...

Lily Evans deals with a sixth year at Hogwarts, and a first year as Head Girl. To her frustration, the Head Boy is none other than James Potter. As the year progresses, they fight many evils, Malfoy, Voldemort, N.E.W.T.'s, an unexpected ball, and their growing affection for each other.

There's something strange about Lavender's pet rabbit Binky... (British version)

In her first year teaching at Hogwarts, Hermione may not think she likes Snape very much, but she could be wrong.... Once Ginny gets involved, there's bound to be trouble. Love potions and lust potions and some crazy, nutty mix-ups, oh my! Watch out for fluffy, pink, sex-crazed bunnies and a shameful number of jokes involving stirring rods.

She loves diving into a good one. He hates them with a fiery vengeance. L/J drabble/one-shot.

Snape the potions teacher leads a sad and lonely life. Not that he minds - it is what he does best. This all changes when he finds a love poem aimed at him. But who wrote it and did they mean what they said? And how will Snape feel when he discovers the author?

This is definitely not a song fic. What do so called relaxing bubble baths, rude intruders, and the Rolling Stones all have to do with each other? Well, they all seem to prove to Ginny that her life just isn’t quite satisfying enough. D/G

In this story, the Gryffindors and Slytherins are having potions class. Once again, Snape is torturing Neville in front of the class... But to Snape's surprise, Neville draws out his wand and points it at him... what will happen??

Something is very, very, very, very, very wrong with Hermione, and it is up to Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley to find out what!

An account of a weird dream that Harry had one day in the History of Magic class.

"And don't take too long, Weasley, the delay on that firelegs report held our investigation up for a month."``"If you had read my report you would know that the term is 'firearms,'" said Mr. Weasley coolly. (OotP, page 132, American Edition)``Arthur Weasley and Kingsley Shacklebolt use their masterful powers of misdirection and invention to serve the Order- one memo at a time.

Harry's gone ghetto, a vicious beast attacks Professor Snape, Voldie's pretty, and Hagrid's untold past is finally told! (For real this time!) Through all of this, Hermione curses the day she was conceived.

[Second in the Dream Trilogy] Hermione Granger embarks on a glorious adventure to discover and apprehend the nefarious Rogue Transfigurationalist, who is indiscriminately turning people into cows and rhinoceroses. Blaise Zabini, however, has set out to distract her.

I am a miracle worker. My name is Ron Weasley and I made Hermione Granger late for work. R/Hr fluff.

Angelina stood, arms crossed over her chest, alone with Fred Weasley. "I haven't been giving you the silent treatment," she said pointedly.

Harry's seventh year at Hogwarts is overshadowed by the defeat of Lord Voldemort the previous summer. Dumbledore decides to liven up the students by producing a school musical. Featuring Draco as Maria and Harry as Tony, with others in supporting roles.

Is it too late for Harry when Voldemort is literally right behind him? Well IS it?

What would happen if Ron and Hermione decided to be museum thieves? When they have to steal a talking portrait who thinks a whole lot of herself from the London Institute of Thrilling and Mysterious Artifacts, all sorts of craziness takes place. Tears, laughs, a snog or two, lies, and PartnersInCrime!RonandHermione occur.

A Percy/Oliver story. Wherein Percy talks a lot, Oliver listens a lot, and the seasons change.

For the March2007 challenge. Fudge pays an unexpected visit to Hogwarts.

Poor Ginny Snape. Quite apart from having the daftest name in the history of the world, she's got a cruel step-father, two evil stepsisters and a bad case of unrequited love for Harry Potter, The Prince Who Lived. Even worse,``she's still got her Potions essay to write, and it's already twenty-five past thirty-two in the Hogwarts kitchens.``Oh, yeah, and she's just been assigned the two most incompetent fairy godmothers in the history of the profession, at least one of whom is more concerned with political correctness than actually getting the job done and bringing about the bliss that is Twue Wuv.``Killer high heels! The curse of the toad! A thousand elephants! All this and much, much more, once upon a time...``Chapter 1 of 2: Balls

Things for Draco and Harry in Arithmancy are bitter, until a strange twist and an odd kiss. With manticores, DayNightmares and rude signs, this is keeps you wondering to the end.

Essence of Bleeding heart in a potion, Neville as a Potions partner? Obviously Harry peeved off Snape pretty good, so where do the consequences land him? In the Slytherin House of course...

What if Monty Python's sketch Hungarian Phrasebook happened at Hogwarts?

You've seen the movie (or have you?). Well it doesn't matter, because this fic bears little to no resemblance to the fine picture. I present, therefore, for your amusement, your favorite characters from the "Smoke Two Joints" series taking a mad trip through Diagon Alley. Acid; LSD; Lysergic Acid Diethylamide. Psilocin. Psilocybin. Plenty of Tetrahydrocannabinol, for good measure. Read the fic. Laugh it up. Peace out. ````Rated "R" for some profanity and extreme drug use.

Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet, eating her curds and whey. Along came a spider and sat down beside her and frightened Miss Muffet away. What? I'm sure that spider/acromantula had every right to be there!

Sequal to Ogden's Old Firewhisky. Fred and George lose their enchanted Red Currant Rum.

There was no turning back now, was there? Draco Malfoy was undoubtedly a marked man, and he was barely a man at that. Professor Albus Dumbledore was dead and the second war was about to begin. What was left for the young Slytherin? Did he fight with those he had sided with his whole life, or did he pursue a new path?

A parody of the first Harry Potter movie.

What would happen if you were transported into an alternate reality with your nemisis? How would you adjust if everything you were accustomed to was different? What if something you hated became something you loved? D/G/H triangle and Hr/R/Padma triangle.

A missing moment from OotP, Ginny pleads with Luna to stand up to her brothers' teasing.

Seamus just wants Ron to come out from under his bed. He has some rather unusual methods of getting him out. Hey, at least it works! S/R S/O

Nanny Ogg goes to Hogwarts to help out in the kitchens and ends up practising her very special brand of magic. Will Granny (assisted by Snape) save the day? Will Snape find true love? Will Hogwarts ever be the same again?

A Draco/girl!Blaise moment in Potions. Boys will be boys. One-shot.

Sirius Black's interest in wizarding comics leads to some startling discoveries.

AU: Written Pre-HBP. Eighteen-year-old Severus Snape is having a very bad day. After getting into a argument with his "future wife" (until he finds a way out or they kill each other), Potter and Black steal his chocolate eggs his mother sent him. After a very unexpected kind act by someone equally as unlikely, Severus does something he regrets.

Professor Marchbanks of the Wizarding Examination Authority has a little score to settle with Dolores Umbridge.

Harry finds himself back in action after years of living in sin.

Interruptions is the story of the real notes between the Marauders when they were in school. But that's not this story. This story is basically the same, but with an actual plot. However, it does take place after James and Lily's wedding. Watch as the story unfolds in the next installment of 'Interruptions'.

Features Hermione and Draco, although not together. Read only if you are dying for another parody of Mary Sues, and if you have a fondness for Mike Nelson, or randomness. And references to other parodies that I have enjoyed. I wanted to do a humorous story, after reading so many cheesy MS stories as well as well-written parodies on ffnet. I wanted to tip my hat to other stories’ universes. So many have written such awesome fics that it’s a wonder I ever get anything else done. It’s my way of paying a tribute.

It's a new year at Hogwarts and there's a new DADA professor and Potions Master. And just what does Dumbledore want?``Also Entitled: What Should Have Happened. AU to OotP.

Hermione must compromise herself to get what she wants from Severus Snape. Pre-het and AU as of HBP.

There are moments in life, when a wizard simply needs a drink. A large, neat firewhiskey. And meeting Hermione Granger on her never-ending quest for better world is such a moment. Especially if the quest is a shopping trip; if she doesn’t buy books, but a gown with low décolletage and a hat with ear-holes; and if she turns simple shopping for robes into a small scale revolution. ``Short story from the post-Hogwarts The Phoenix and the Owl universe.

James and Lily's first kiss is long overdue. He wants to wait for that perfect moment, but when will that ever come along? Lily shows him the

In Hogwarts, like in all the other Wizarding schools of the world, the staff must confront trouble with the Love Potions frequently. In a castle packed with teenagers it only seems to be inevitable.

Ron, afer finding out about the "fiction" world of Harry Potter, decided that he needs to send Rupert Grint a letter. He tells a bit about the "real" world and how crazy everyone thinks he is. Includes discussion of the professors and blingful!Dumbledore.

Draco isn't really sure how Pansy convinced him to come here. Well, yes he does know. But that doesn't make it any better ... Warning: Trio love, gay!fanon!Draco and drunken!slutty!Pansy. You have been warned.

Ron, determined to be a protective older brother, decides to send Dean a friendly owl over the summer defending his sister's virtue. He is surprisingly bad at this... read to see him struggle with deathless prose, a lack of firearms, and unhelpful older brothers.

Another addition to the HairyDragon fables. You know how the story goes, but mine has a few twists...

Everyone has to die sometime. And Trevor... Well, lets just say... What a way to go!

Double Fantasy: the long-awaited sequel to both "The Cruel Fate of the Innocent" and "The Dueling Club Revisited". Harry, Ron, Hermione, Draco, and all the other people that you'd expect in any respectable humorfic come together for Christmas dinner.

Eliza Smythe, a young witch brought up on a magical pyrate ship, finishes her schooling at Hogwarts by order of her father, Captain Smythe, the Soothsayin\' Hooligan. Shortly after she begins attending, she receives half of treasure map from an old friend. Adventure ensues. Yay!

Harry is looking after his young grandson when an old friend arrives with an interesting proposition. Set several months after 'A Tale of Two Twins'. Short, fluffy.

Sequel to Okay, It Had to be Done! Yes, it's a while, because my ...um pet...dictionary has been sick. Now where was I? Oh yes, another well-written, plotfilled successful parody of Harry Potter fanfiction... couldn't make it so I've given you this instead. Thank you for your time, and get some tape for your sides.

Having watched the easy camaraderie between them with silent longing, and now having the door held open for him by James Potter himself, Remus badly wanted to say yes. But he couldn’t.

Dung Fletcher wants this breakfast to be perfect; a meal to remember. There just a minor problem...

An unusual chain of events in which Colin Creevey reveals his fanboy side, Snape gets angry, Harry and Draco work together and then recieve detention, and all in all, things are rather odd. Amusing, but odd.

Another parody--this one of just about every romance with Remus and/or Sirius ever written. Contains TONS of implied naughtiness, both slash and het, and also some rather opinionated ranting. Read at your own risk!

Luna tells a bedtime story to her daughter of lawn-gnomes striking back at two children.

Sequel to "The Shotgun Bride." The further adventures of redneck!Draco and Ginny as they deal with family, friends, marriage and everything else that comes their way.

Five years. That's how long Neville Longbottom has put up with Severus Snape, and he is fed up. With the help of the Weasley Wonder Twins, Neville takes out his comical revenge on his greatest fear. With a boggart in a hat box and a camera, I can't imagine what will happen next.

Maia Christine Knight is a relatively normal, average Slytherin girl. It's an image she wants to keep up. However, her father is back - actually has been for over a year, but finally remembered her. It isn't easy being the Dark Lord's daughter (whom he dotes upon), especially when you're given the task of 'seducing' Harry Potter. Yep. As predicted, it all does end in a crazy mess. It doesn't help when you have to deal with an amorous Malfoy, jealous rivals, and a suspicious Granger. But she has help from her friends, in the form of the brilliant but violent Theo Nott, the 'weirdo' Blaise Zabini, and Steph Nott (she's having more fun with this than she should be). Unbeknownst to Maia, though, Dumbledore and Snape have ahold of her diary...

How is it to spend four days upside down in a toilet? Montague tells his story!

Malfoy became a Death Eater and was caught by Harry. For his punishment{on Harry's request}, he was turned into a ferret. He escapes into a nearby house, which happened to be Neville Longbottom's. Just a warning, the narrators are insane! This is where our story begins...

It's Halloween and Draco is bored stiff out of his mind. So, what does he get up to in the Forbidden Forest? Who does he, unfortunately, meet there unexpectedly? Something goes terribly wrong; will Draco have to live with it forever? Find out who and what Stompy is!

In the traditional fairytale innuendo... nothing makes much sense...

Hermione's parents want to meet the two boys who are her best friends to make sure they're not her boyfriends. When Harry and Ron show up at the Grangers' for Christmas, hilarity follows. That also might have to do with the boy-hating father or the lovesick neighbour.

Ron and Hermione have invited Harry to move in with them, and Harry wants to. The only problem is explaining exactly why to Remus and Sirius...``Harry/Ron/Hermione and Remus/Sirius

Boys behaving badly! Harry and Ron make a bet to see who can get a date to the Harvest Ball first.

At the first Quidditch game of Harry's sixth year, Ginny shows off some brilliant Chasing, the Slytherins attempt vengeance, and Harry feels unusually protective.

“I’m putting the parchment in my trousers for safe-keeping, and then going for a stroll in the Great Hall. I’m hoping I won’t be stripped in public.” ``“You can’t put my essay in your trousers!”

We didn't have the focus to go to sleep, but simply thinking was enough to send us all over the edge to insanity. Obviously, end of term exams had just finished, and we needed something to do. So I went and got Fred and George's Christmas present to me...

It is a few years after Neville Longbottom's graduation from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The wizarding world is back to some semblance of normalcy. Neville is well-suited to his job, he has his own place, and enjoys the rather new sensation of what some might call confidence, from time to time. Now all he needs is "the girl."

They say that role play can spice things up in the bedroom... But will it work for Seamus and Dean?

Snape has been pissing many people off lately, especially Sirius. With the help of Lily, James, Peter and Remus they make up a genius plan, which is sure to make Snape loathe them more and teach him a lesson, never to mess with the marauders again. But will all go well?

Inspired by the Halloween Costume discussion on the O&U thread in the SCUSA forum. "It was a night of firsts..... The mystery of what had happened to the Head Boy and Head Girl had been solved..."

Or, "The Extremely Satisfying Deaths of 'Professor' Umbridge". See three short stories of everyone's most hated teacher being eaten, fried, baked, shot, and blown to smithereens!

Draco and Ginny mess up the potion they are working on. Filch is suspicious. Hijinks ensue.

When Harry realizes that Hermione and Ron may not be fated for one another, he does his best to make Ron realize what he's missing. In the process, Harry makes some realizations of his own.

At the end of August 2013, Harry and Ginny Potter are invited to Hogwarts to investigate a spate of anonymous letters and vandalism. But poisonings and brutal murder convince them that things are more serious - and then their son Sirius gets involved... See Harry and Ginny as Quidditch man and wife! See the conflict between the Professors! See the mysterious Ancient Runes Teacher! Learn what happened to Hermione's old dorm-mate, Mary-Sue Moonchild! And learn how the Ministry persuaded Professor McGonagall to nationalise the Hogwarts House-elves!

I don't know what this is about, read it, cos I'm pretty. Starts after OotP. Harry becomes emo (i.e an angsty whiner). Philosophies change.

The Marauders and Company get their hands on some muggle board games. Hilarity ensues.