3,641 - 3,660 of 5,429 Stories

Perhaps the nightmare we all dread coming to life is a situation where you have absolutely no idea what to do, and even if you did, you wouldn’t know how to go about doing it. Sunday morning, Draco Malfoy found himself in this exact predicament. Draco somehow is transported to a place he doesn't want to be. Not a romance.

Snape ponders how awful Valentine's Day can be for a lonely teacher with no real friends.

Excerps from the mental brainstorming session between Minerva McGonagall, an author with a headcold and writer's block, and a few meandering fictional characters looking for party snacks.

A cousin from Beauxbatons sends Blaise a very interesting invention of his. Hagrid has a new, very unusual, pet, but Mortie acquires a pet that is really undeard of...

Harry's friends have been kidnapped. Draco's friends have been kidnapped. What now? Read and find out.

What happens when that time of month descends upon that normally level-headed woman, Lily Evans.

It's Ron and Hermione's Wedding Day, and as someone once said, "All that can go wrong, will go wrong." Featuring, JamesBond!Harry, PossiblyGay!Dean, Distraught!Ron and a hell of alot of duct tape. And some staples, too.

One morning, while imprisoned in Azkaban, Lucius, Crabbe Sr., and Goyle Sr. awake to discover the prison empty. They escape and meet many adventures as they attempt to make it home to their families (and beloved Master!). A hilarious parody of O Brother Where Art Thou, filtered through J.K. Rowling's universe.

Sixth year at Hogwarts; Draco Malfoy and Blaise Zabini are using some very interesting 'substances'. When Draco and Harry place a bet, Harry completely changes in all ways and starts using the mysterious drug, too. But nothing seems to last long when the professors come up with a ‘reasonable punishment’ for the two. Who will win the bet? What will be the consequences? And why does Lucius act strangely out of character? Eventual H/D.

For Valentine's Challenge on FA. Katie Bell adores George Weasley, but doesn't know how to let him know. The prefects are planning a Valentine's dance and Ron really dislikes missing his dinner.

Saturday morning in the Gryffindor boys' dorm. James grouses, Peter snores, and Remus is subjected to the poking and prodding of one Sirius Black. Curse Padfoot and his early rising tendencies!

In which Hermione is featured in and out of character, Ron is an unfaithful naughty boy, Dean is left with bruises but isn't important enough to get a line, Ginny seeks revenge and so does Lavender ... And all because Ronnie was in the bathroom.

Each of Harry's years at Hogwarts have been exciting and he expected his fifth to be the same. What he didn't expect was two new girls, Meara Redmond and Elspeth Tweedie. Seventh years with a very unique minds and personalities, ``Meara and Elspeth bring fresh humour to Hogwarts.

Humorous fic: A day in the life of Hogwarts, from the perspective of a *genuine* oakwood floorboard. features Snape, Aurors, renegade Muggles, You-Know-Who and Bertha Jorkins.

Have you ever wondered what various Potter characters wear at night to sleep in? Well, everyone is called down to the Great Hall in the middle of the night, wearing their pajamas (or not in some cases). Who's the kid walking around in footy-pajamas? And what's that stuff on Pansy's face? And why is Neville blushing? This is a humorous one-shot.

George Weasley is introducing his girlfriend to his family, and that is a doubtful success - until a young girl knocks at the door and saves the situation.

Post-HBP-- Harry decides to return to seventh year at Hogwarts, and he discovers something that will help in his quest for the horcruxes a lot...

McGonagall visits number 4, Privet Drive, in the first week of November 1981.

The end of a lot longer than five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes (and counting). Written for the rt_challenge April 2006 ficathon.

Luna Lovegood is a first year, fresh off the Hogwarts Express, and within minutes, she’s already earned herself the title ‘Loony’. Things aren’t looking so good for the young girl and her invisible Harblawengs.

All Ginny Weasley ever wanted was for Harry Potter to love her. She dreamed they would get married and have beautiful children. Now, when it seems that dream has been shattered completely, Ginny must pick up the pieces and make a new life for herself.

A girl appears at the school. Her name is Charlotte Snape and she's from the future. She has no idea how or why she managed to travel through time, so while they figure out how to send her back, she'll stay and be a student like Mum and be taught by Dad.

Standing in the middle of a Muggle jail with Hermione Granger was certainly not how he’d expected to spend his Saturday, no matter whose fault it really was.

It's Harry's sixth year at Hogwarts, and Voldemort has effectively declared war on the Ministry. As if that's not enough, there's a new DADA professor with a big secret, an old school friend of Dumbledore's keeps dropping by, and Fawkes is suffering from the phoenix equivalent of adolescence!

A Christmas fic staring MWPP in the Sixties through the eyes of a chocoholic, enthusiatic, child-loving teaching assistant. Read as she slowly loses her patience with heart throb! Sirius, Obsessed with Lily! James, and a flamboyant angel Gabriel. But will she be able to pull the show off with a jazzed up 'Away in a Manger' and keep her job?

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Really, who eats porridge anymore? A humourous story full of stew, chairs and beds. And a dancing dove gray ribbon.

Wormtail buys Voldemort a diary. A diary that writes back. Voldemort has a lot of "fun" being annoyed, and at the end... you'll find out.

The Marauders and Snape are hitting the trail, Oregon Trail to be exact. And they're not so much hitting it as watching it on James's computer.... Anyway, it's fraught with oxen, mysterious voices and horrible music. Join them, you'll have an interesting story to tell the therapist.

This story explores the connotations of red, shows you exactly why graveyards are so interesting, and takes you on a guided tour of Dudley Dursley's stomach courtesy of Trevor the toad.

Part of my Sailing Ships Challenge. Lucius and Narcissa are in the delivery room. Lucius' hand will never be the same. And Bellatrix Just. Won't. Stop. Giggling. LuciusNarcissa

A romance, of a sort. Because even giant squids get lonely sometimes.

Teenage Sirius Black finds his Potions Master's private``stash and decides to have a party in the dungeon.

Join Hermione Granger as she leads you on a personal tour of Hogwarts. But things don't seem to go as smoothly as she had planned...

Hey, you asked for it! More awful slash jokes, fandom cliches, and sudden inexplicable OOCness. This time, Seamus is being stalked. Is it the slashers, or someone more sinister, more devious... more squealing?

Your guess is about as good as mine. It's a sequel to Humiliation's Friend and a Blush

Sequel to "Snape, After Midnight" So...what happened to the picture?

The Marauders are skint and Sirius has a Plan to make some cash. All he needs is some help from his Animagi friends - and possibly a collar with spikes.

Join Lord Voldemort for the everyday adventurers of his life. Discover his inner feelings on subjects and skiing.

After a series of unfortunate events enfold in Lily's life, she finds herself, stumbling into a reluctant friendship with an unlikely boy, over the her last year at Hogwarts and the years that follow it slowly turns into a sweet, first love and then into an intimate relationship that would one day tear them apart.

Late one evening, the Gryffindor boys are trying to scare each other with ghost stories. Thick-skinned Seamus is unimpressed until Neville tells the grim tale of a murderous blacksmith and his ill-fated wife. Is it enough to give Seamus the heebie-jeebies? Only Harry knows for sure…

Adrian finds out a secret about his love. *sniggers* One-shot.

Harry, Hermione and Ron find themselves in a computer lab where they can surf the Muggle internet, and see what the shippers are saying. They are intrigued until they find out that in order to leave, they must choose their own ships. Includes action, trouble, people coming back from the dead, and lots of that nice fluff at the end.

A piece of paper that Hermione reads can't change her thoughts of a person, or can it? It must take more, and what is needed is in this story. Changing time and place with an enemy on a mission can be irritable, but it can also cause sparks. (Hr/D)

Harry stood in the library running his finger casually across the titles. Something strange had been going on lately. Suddenly, something caught his eye! One of the books, a large gray volume, had a small yellow sticker on it. It read RESTRICTED! Could it be? Could someone have put this book away in the wrong place by mistake? Books don't just hop off shelves and start walking around.... or do they? Either way, this intrigued Harry and he picked it up and set it on the table. Curious, he opened the first page...

Join Maria and Susannah at their first year at Hogwarts as they encounter Harry, Dumbledore, and Higgs. If you're looking for an intelligent parody, this is your story. And if you're looking for a dumb parody, this is your story, too.

When a complicated time/holding spell goes awry and takes Ginny instead of Harry, the entire wizarding world is forced to legally accept that she's dead. Her friend Sirius is left with nothing more then her memory, a plate of raspberry scones, and a stone angel presiding over her empty grave. When she shows up on his doorstep seven years later, what's he to think?

Sequel to Rivalry. It's the day after: Seamus has plans. And a really short attention span. And Theodore Nott knows exactly how to exploit that.

In which a camera and white, bobbing fur cause some trouble for the Weasley family. Ginny Weasley travels to the Beast's castle in exchange for a grievous insult inflicted by her father on the Beast. This all seems to be the standard Beauty and Beast stuff, no? And yet, there is always a problem when the Beast is rather reluctant about being a boy again.

If Hermione hadn't met the boys on the train that first day, things would most certainly be different. Featuring Metro!Ron, Loser!Harry, Stalker!Hermione, and Smoker!Ginny.

While on a date, Ron has to drag along Harry, who is VERY high from a gift that Fred and George have given him.

A little AU fic in which Harry oversleeps on the day of the Quidditch Final against Slytherin, and a desperate Oliver Wood rather hastily chooses a replacement Seeker.

Ron's unbeatable at chess. Or so he thinks. Hermione becomes fed up with his over-confidence, and vows to beat him and put him in his place. Harry and Ginny observe competitively as the pair duel it out. Will Ron maintain his undefeated record?

A mysterious furred visitor frequents the Gryffindor Tower. Ron feels that he should recognize the little guest, but due to the creative license of the party of the first, herein to be referred to as the author (moi), is a bit... slow (perhaps he really is slow, I mean that bit in the fourth book? come on!) to discern exactly what is so familiar about the furry caller. And why is Harry so friendly to it? Hmm... mystery abounds!

This parody follows the adventures of Bel, a typical Mary Sue character, as she encounters Gilderoy Lockhart and other characters (not the typical ones, either), goes to Africa, and has all sorts of odd happenings along the way. Purple prose and double entendres are intelligently, if not innovatively used. Need we remind you, this is a parody. If you lack a sense of humor, enter at your own peril.

In a tale of forks, golden tassels and cake, Ginny endures an uncomfortable meal at the Malfoys.

Even Death Eaters need to stock up on the necessities sometimes, and Lord Voldemort must provide. So how does the malevolent Dark Lord handle this daunting task? Why, he goes shopping, of course! This is my first fic, and it's very silly and OOC. I hope it makes you laugh!

Sixth-year James/Lily fluff. Some MWPP banter. What more could you ask for?

Ron's not the only one who can be jealous...Warnings: Angry!Hermione ahead. If you're Ernie MacMillan, you may want to stay away entirely. ````R/Hr; written for Lendolyn and the R/Hr ficathon````Mostly fun and some fluff.

The long awaited sequel to 'Snap!' Harry And Ron celebrate Easter in a somewhat... unusual way, and Ron comes to a realisation.

Based on a fic challenge on alt.fan.harry-potter. Harry and Draco are in trouble again. This time their punishment is a little different from any they've had before. Sent to a world that isn't really real, they have two weeks to prove they can get along with each other and the residents of their temporary home.

The two Harry Potter universes have merged; The Universe of Fanfiction and the Universe of Canon. One can only imagine the chaos that ensues.

It's all fun and games until evil cat toys hex Harry's homework - then it's just fun.

Kind of a sequel to my first fanfic. Harry is settling in for a quiet evening in his house when he recieves a surprise visit from Eris, the Goddess of Chaos, who offers to help him fight Voldie. Rated PG-13 for language and nudity.

Snape doesn't care what colour her eyes are, and she doesn't care that he doesn't want her friendship...

American Idol Harry Potter Style! Pointless at first, but will get better. With a hilarious panel of judges, and hilarious songs, not to mention our favorite commentator...

Emmaline notes Ron's distress at Christmas and vows to cheer him up--but she needs some help.

Harry is going on the most vile, offensive adventure of his short career! He might get sick and puke, but at least he'll offend you! Or something like that.

Rose Weasley is not having a good first year at Hogwarts. Among the difficulties; her parents divorced before she was born, her father is now her Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, her cousins are brilliant, she's failing Potions...Oh, and her mother is dating Draco Malfoy.

Post-Hogwarts, Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived, is now a celebrity Quidditch player, famous, eligible and dogged by the gutter press. His old school friend Ron Weasley, on the other hand, is working a parchment-pushing job at Gringotts, fighting a nasty temper and a tendency to get into fights with a particular Draco Malfoy.

On a summer afternoon in Grimmauld Place, Ginny and Tonks find out that they have a little something in common.

Has Hogwarts gone mad pairing Ginny with Draco? Well, maybe it's not such a bad idea...

A holy mistake is made and Snape faces much peril.

Gilderoy Lockhart is preparing for his first Yule Ball. He's seen to every detail - his hair, his eyes, his profile, his custom robes. Every detail, that is, but one. Where does one find kissing lessons? Written for the HP Kris Kringle Secret Santa Exchange.

A look at fanfiction from the other side. This fic was written a decade ago. As such, the grammar and punctuation may not be up to my current standard. However, there are no current plans to rework my older fics.

I was inspired by the 'Can't buy me love' thing sent in, where a reviewer said 'Do one on Paperback Writer', so I said, 'Heck, why not.' I hope someone has not already done this. Anyway, it's loosely based on the lyrics to the hit Beatles song 'Paperback Writer'.

Terry Boot is the star of the highest rating apparition show in Wizarding history, the aptly named, Terry Boot Show. He is an expert at airing people’s dirtiest laundry and exposing their biggest scandals in front of thousands of viewers. But when he invites some of the most famous witches and wizards in the world on his program, he gets a little more than he bargained for. It seems Terry Boot has a little dirty laundry of his own…

Draco has a very strange conversation with Snape. References to slash.

What would happen if Prof. Lockhart actually met a werewolf? One must grant that our favorite werewolf was more than fair.

On his way to gather ‘the old crowd’, Sirius has a frightening encounter. What is a wizard to do when he knows he is about to die? Drive his best friend to distraction and beyond, that’s what! Silly challenge fic written before OotP so now totally AU.

Ever wondered what heroes do when they go too far with trying to rescue people? Well, it turns out...it's an illness called SUPERMAN SYNDROME! And guess what? All our favourite comic book, fictional and television heroes have it! From Buffy to Hellboy to X-Men to Lord of the Rings to Artemis Fowl and even our beloved Harry Potter...come along to the meeting and see them try to sort out their heroism. Rated 'R' for language and random acts of violence.

A tale (tail?) of kitty love. Yes, it's Crookshanks and Mrs. Norris. :) Enjoy!

Severus Snape challenges self-absorbed Gilderoy Lockhart to a walk-off after Harry and Draco's duel. RuPaul makes a cameo as the judge. Snape vogues.

After seeing the boggart scene in PoA, and how Malfoy and his cronies were trying to push to the front of the line, I began to wonder what Malfoy's boggart would've been....

Harry finds love for one of the most unusual people. It's all good until he runs into another person he comes to love. Harry's hardest choice is still in front of him: which one to pick? In this series, Harry is caught out of bed more than once, Ron begins to get suspicious and wonders what Harry is really doing during his long absences, and Draco gets Polyjuiced. There are a lot of misunderstandings and crazy twists that will have you laughing your butt off.

The Weasley twins manage to destroy Voldemort and his Death Eaters? Who could have predicted it? Inspired by Monty Python.

Ever wonder how Hogwarts came to be?

The Malfoys have a little rodent problem.

In the sequel to Reuniting, Hermione and Sirius's relationship moves forward. Second in a series of three.

Hermione's desperation at Valentine's day leads Ginny to desperate measures as well.

Why Sirius should never have been allowed to read Edgar Allan Poe. Based loosely on "The Fall of the House of Usher."

While most of the wizarding world edges slowly away from Walter Jorkins, his old friend Augustus Rookwood accepts an invitation to a decidedly Marxist Christmas party. (Cynthia Rookwood/Evan Rosier)

For Gilderoy Lockhart, there are a few bumps on the road to recovery...

This quick little story chronicles the moments right before the future Mr. and Mrs. Weasley take action on their crushes! Cute and short.

This one-shot is from Snape's point-of-view just before the boggart scene in PoA. It's a tribute to all those obsessive vampire theorists.

Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy are passing each other in the halls one day when Malfoy mistakes an everyday bodily function for a serious illness. Draco then sets Harry up with a crazy doctor who probably doesn't even have his Ph.D. in medical school.

Harry and Ginny's rehearsal dinner turns out to be an interesting and humorous event.

Crookshanks is jealous. A tender little femslashy story, in which Hermione finds a new companion...

Because I really wanted Umbridge to die. AU during OotP, wherein Hermione is just a little bit more ruthless.

On the due date of Michael Zabini's first child, he and his co-workers at the Ministry of magic have a conversation about babies and how horri- I mean how wonderful they are (yeah, right). Featuring everyone's favourite parents and Goyle senior.