2,761 - 2,780 of 3,594 Stories

New ruling by the MoM - All young witches and wizards from pure wizard families must take up Muggle Studies (Mandatory subject). Failure to pass this subject, means they fail the entire year and must repeat the next year. Draco gets Hermione as his student counselor for Muggle Studies and she issues him a challenge...

It's April Fool's Day... How many times can you get Malfoy to scream like a girl??

Excerpt: "Eskimo girl, won't you come out tonight, come out tonight, come out tonight?" Ron sang to himself as he made his way outside into the two foot deep snow (and it was still snowing). "Wohoo!" Ron rolled around in the bitter cold for maybe three minutes before he had to come back in to get some more clothes on. "I almost forgot to put on my lucky underwear!" he shouted as he came back in and ran up the Grand Staircase to the Gryffindor Tower...

Poor Draco Malfoy receives temporary amnesia when he meets Potter in the corridor. When Snape comes across him later on, he is in an odd predicament.

Romilda Vane: girly, flippant, and catty. What happens when she needs a favour from Luna Lovegood? Certainly, Romilda never expected to get her come-uppance for tormenting the school's infamous Loony! Set during HBP, and written for the Broken Quill challenge.

A idle conversation between two Death Eaters. Slash warning--precisely what would give away the ending. (Poor Lucius.)

Follow the young Draco Malfoy during his first year at Hogwarts. Follow him through his adventures, through his matchmaking and his cunning slytherin plans. See the year though his eyes, see the things no one else saw because they where to busy looking at that Potter. Warning! Should not be read by sane people. We wrote this only for the sake of our madness, and if you expect just the slightest trace of reason in it, you will be disappointed. You have been warned.

Ron finally loses at chess, and against a most unusual opponent.

This is my take on how the FINAL showdown between our hero Harry and that evil serpent Voldemort will happen! I've been told it's funny... but then again, I'm justifiably insane, so don't hold anything you read against me!

Crazy random things! In the form of a note-to-self tape, this 'day in the life' extends to really encompasing all of Hedwig's deepest and darkest moments. Overall, a touching story, and a real tear jerker. Damn pigeons...

It's Hermione's birthday and she has got some really thoughtful gifts - or so she thinks! Soon, the gifts show their true colors and, well, you've got to read the rest!

Sirius drops in to visit Harry. They talk about a lot of random stuff, from Muggle television to anime to Being Gay. This is a good example of why never to obey the impulse to jump up and scribble down half-dreams at three a.m.

Peeves the Poltergeist gives us a brief history and explanation about who he is, and why he does his job so well.

Hermione gives Ron an enchanted alarm clock to get him up to study. But that boy could sleep through anything! Just a some silliness and a hint of R/H.

Insane version of MWPP, set entirely in the wrong time line. Not to be taken cereal (seriously), or with medication.``Prepare to meet: Loony Loppy Lupin, Peteranna, Cereal and Antler-boy!

Malfoy hexed Ron: now he's obsessive-compulsive. How will Harry and Hermione resolve the problem? Button fixing, making faces in food, and book-straightening. Idea primarily from Monk, on USA. (TV show)

Dudley enjoys a nice hot dog, when someone comes along to put a claim on his lunch.... Short and silly.

Ever seen Charlie and the Chocolate Factory? Well, if you have you know how it ended. If it really had an end. Because the story does continue. In Harry Potter style.

Draco's parents call him down to the drawing room one afternoon in August for a "chat," and he grudgingly obliges, unaware that this is one afternoon that will turn out like no other...

Harry Potter discovers the world of electronics--and fandom!! Watch while he slowly becomes a FictionAlley addict! (once the author regains some semblance of sanity).

What happens when Harry, Ron, and Hermione go to a Muggle high school? In America at that! Will Ron ever figure out how to act in front of the Muggles? Will they survive their first math class?

In their work for the Order of the Phoenix, Snape and Sirius must confront their deepest fear... together.

Sirius wants a holiday in the wilderness, and Dung manages to borrow a cottage deep inside the forests of northern Sweden. Will the two friends manage to stay there alone for three days without killing each other? Not likely - so they decide to spend Friday night in the nearby village.

It may not be Christmas Day, yet the reaction of everyone's least favourite Potions professor isn't any less "Bah Humbug." Severus Snape is determined to avoid attention this Valentine's Day, yet a certain someone is as least as determined to bestow it upon him. What is the identity of his secret admirer? Set during Harry Potter's second year.

The Abduction of the Seraglio, starring Harry and Draco. AU - well, sort of.

This begins as a kindly intended parody of the “late night snack” variety of light romance. As such, Harry and Hermione initially will be OOC, a rascal and a shrew respectively, but a very happy romantic ending will result. Special warnings both for sexual/anatomical innuendo and to food fetishists; sorry, the pumpkin pie and whipped cream will be eaten only, with ordinary utensils, and will not be worn!

Blaise isn’t like the other seven-year-old boys Draco knows. Blaise has pink arm bands, whereas Ron and Vincent and Gregory and Draco all have orange ones, but what sort of boy is Blaise like?

Last time we saw our hero, he was falling behind the veil. The question that is on everybody’s lips is: Where is he now? Petunia Dursley doesn’t care; all she wants is some apricot jam.

What happens when Gilderoy Lockhart overhears two guards at St. Mungo's talking about human cloning? He finds a solution to the problem that has plagued him his whole life (even though he only remembers the past two years). Rated PG for a smoochy. L/L (Lockhart/Lockhart) Remember - Elevator Music is Sexy!

Harry is leaving. Draco is on a mission to find out why everyone keeps dumping him. No, it isn't a midlife crisis thing. Probably. Maybe. He's barely thirty, anyway. There's a lot of music, too. And some random store clerks. This is a three-part story.

Fred and George's Hogwarts years, from their very first trip to Diagon Alley to their infamous final flight from Hogwarts, and everything in between.

Ron, discovers his calling in life, to become a Bard. After he sings to Hermione, countless times, she begins to have a twitchy eye.

Harry and the gang go to a press conference of Gilderoy Lockhart. ``What's that? He's dead?? GILDEROY LOCKHART IS DEAD? Oh, no! What's a witch to ``do?

Yet again, Dumbledore's got to hire a Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. This candidate seems... exceptionally underqualified, and yet he's got something unique. A Discworld crossover.

Percy is understandably leery at the prospect of a bachelor party planned by George. The latest of the Weasley brothers to marry, Percy asks them all a question burning in his mind during a serious moment: how did you know she was "the one"? A one-shot companion to George & Annie: an Unofficial Biography. George/OC, all other ships canon compliant.

The songs parodied in the work are the property of Tom Lehrer, a writer of humorous songs that have entertained for over a half-century.

Professor Snape has a problem class... If other teachers could be as lucky!

Harry must face man's greatest horror . . . purchasing feminine products! Will he get home to Hermione in time? More importantly, will he even get back? Trust me, men, it's not for the faint of heart. Very slight H/Hr ``near the end. Sequel to That Time of Month.

A guide discovered in the library of Malfoy Manor, not that any Malfoy would be caught dead actually reading it...

Your typical stupid, plotless, fluffy, sappy fanfic complete with your American-exchange student, the OC that seduces Harry Potter, and a blissfully happy ending. Harry/OC.

If you enjoy crazy stories of gerbils, you'll love this one. Draco gets a gerbil... or two... or a bunch!

While it\'s very interesting that Harry, Ron, and Hermione are taking off to hunt down Horcruxes, Jimmy Peakes, Ritchie Coote, and Demelza Robins are a bit more concerned with the state of their Quidditch team. After all, without a Seeker and a Keeper, how will they ever win the Quidditch Cup? As they discuss potential replacements, their conversation takes some interesting turns.

Severus goes too far and Remus decides to help his friends bid Snape one last fond farewell. WARNING! EXTREME AMOUNTS OF FLUFF AHEAD!

It's soon to be Sirius' birthday, the others are throwing him a surprise party. Can they pull it off without him finding out? Can they humiliate Snape in the process? Can white paint ever really come out of robes? Find out the answer to most of these here!

Sirius has the inside track to the Hogwarts grapevine thanks to Harry.

There are killer toilets running amuck. Can they be stopped?

After a nasty fall, Harry is stricken with amnesia. Now it's a race against the clock as Harry struggles to regain his memories before Lord Voldemort can take advantage of his vulnerability. (Response to the Multifandom Soap Opera Cliche Challenge.)

What do Harry and his friends actually DO while they're waiting for us to put them into our stories? And how do they feel about US? A behind-the-scenes glimpse of our favorite characters. **** Pairings: nearly everyone, at one point or another.

Extra! Extra! Read All About It! Rita Skeeter, gossip queen extraordinaire.

Welcome to the World of Courtney Carson, a pessimistic fifth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. After following the terrible trio as an extracurricular activity for four years, Courtney admits she's taking a liking for the famous Harry Potter. Things can't get any worse when she faces one embarassing situation after another, Harry is in steady relationship with her worst enemy, she gets into a row with her best friend, and someone unexpected asks her out.

Redneck Wizards are alive and well in the American South. Learn to identify them from a safe distance for your own protection!

Ron comes across his old dress robes while rummaging around in his trunk. A debate ensues as to how he actually got them and just who is this Nigel kid?

Ron's had an awful summer. He keeps waking up in his front yard and has no idea why. Can Harry and Hermione help figure out what's been happening to him?

That was a really wild party.... Ginny Weasley goes to a birthday party for one of her good friends, simply for something to do. Based on a true story.

A mysterious flu has taken over Hogwarts, and Remus dives right into the fever.

A very funny and senseless fic with two original characters. Very cliched. Rated PG-13 for a few swear words.

Harry must destroy the last of the Horcruxes. This one is the most horrible of them all. It's... it's... it's a cheese cracker? ``Anyway, can Harry destroy the evil cheese cracker? Not without the help of the Siamese Weasels, a hobo, an axe-ridden maniac, his forty-year-old son, and several others! ``This won't make any sense if you haven't read "Happiness Is Just a Daddy Away!" Then again, it won't make much sense, anyway....

A loose sequel to Girls Just Want To Have Fun, this little Seinfeldesque episode finds the girls trying to blend in during their vacation in the Big Apple...

It all started one night, when a walk along the grounds of Hogwarts led him to unexpected truths. HP/DM

Fred and George go a bit overboard in their pranks, and seem to have angered EVERYBODY, including the ghosts! How will they get paid back for their over-the-top pranks? Tune in to find out!

Harry has been a hiding a dream of his for several years now... Hermione and Ron finally find out what it is. Do they decide to help Harry? Or do they just laugh at him?

Needless to say, Christmas never put Santa in a very good mood, but this particular Christmas was the last straw. As a very hung over Santa woke up the next morning in his sleigh somewhere in the Bahamas, he knew he’d hit rock bottom. There was only one man who could help him now… (Dumbledore/SANTA??)

Really, this actually happens at Hogwarts! Okay, not really. A completely random day at Hogwarts. It definitely lacks plot.

It's not easy being easy being a Horcrux, you know. A glimpse into the life of a Horcrux! Oneshot.

Why exactly Ron let Ginny name his owl.

You know those little people who pop up on your shoulder right before you're about to do something really fun and cool? Well, they're real. Yes, they are. Yes, they ARE!

Draco and Pansy are given an assignment forcing them to watch a muggle movie in a muggle theatre. After the movie, a conversation is made between the two Slytherin friends.

Got sick of the same old fics about the heirs to the Founders of Hogwarts? Try a new persepctive here!

The zoo accident from Dudley's POV.

When Mary Sue Parody's aunt and uncle are killed in a freak rollercoaster accident, she comes to live in the UK with her mad, long-lost aunt. Strange adventures await her at Hogwarts.

What happens when Harry and the gang find out about the book 'Harry Potter and the Philosopher's stone'? Utter Chaos, that's what.

Idonea Snape was like many mothers - she wanted to keep a record of her son's childhood. Severus, on the other hand, never had the desire to even remember his past. Her diary couldn't be all that bad... could it?

Da da da da daaaaaaaaaa! It's Quidditch Night in Canada! Witness an exciting match from the Stonewall Stormers and Moose Jaw Meteorites, Cedric in a plaid robes, and Avril Lavigne! Because it just isn't a Canadian fic without Avril...

Post-Hogwarts. Voldemort is a mockery of the wizarding world. He's forced to work at a grocery store. Lots of bread and food items and a very insane Bob/Voldemort. Story one of a series. With your host, Jennifer Stick-it.

Lupin works the night shift on a golden oldies radio show, learns how to do his laundry, and eats his own sofa. Takes place just prior to PoA. Parody of angst fic.

After Colin's adventures in the common room with his newly found treasure, the fuzzy pink socks, he makes his way to brother Dennis' room for a little "show and tell."

It's just a day in Weasley's Wizard Wheezes...

What happens when Lockhart gets free reign over a class in the dungeons... and full access to potentially lethal potion ingredients!

Harry and Co. get a full introduction to the modern British Rail system in all its glory. Just a bit of satire to cheer you up next time there's 'the wrong sort of snow'.

A few years after finishing at Hogwarts, Hermione runs into her old DADA teacher Gilderoy Lockhart. One thing leads to another, and....

Hogwarts' weekly entertainment! Dumbledore's decided to have a talk/game/reality show! Challenges, humor, and plain stupidity follow!

An incredibly insane, pointless, and AU story that I wrote for Language Arts. Includes a pessimist, an obsessed with bunnies person, Draco, Jessica Lee, Jennifer Patch, evil purple stuffed bunnies (of course) and myself.

"What you need is a love spell." Dudley's got a secret.

Night Before Christmas parody, told by sixth-year Lily Evans. Slightly sick, yet touching.

Harry always helps a friend in need, no matter the deed. Hermione needs an undercover to help her work her object of affections. Harry marches valiantly in, wearing no less than a pleated skirt and knee-high socks. Eyeshadow, rusty sporks and Bloodthirsty!Hermione come together in a wacky, very random piece.

It's a few years after graduation, and life has gone on. Draco, however, has got an unwelcome house guest -- his father.

Firestar038’s April Fool’s Day Challenge Entry. What is in store for Severus on April Fool's Day?

"A Peck of Owls," the chapter was called, the second chapter of the long-awaited fifth book.... so what about those owls? Was Hedwig really out hunting all evening? Or was she closer to home than Harry realized?

Harry wants to be normal. He doesn't want eyes staring or people talking about him. And it is all because he is...

When a baby and a dog are forced to live together, the dog is always the afflicted one. Padfoot has to learn that by his own bitter experience: Caine has just been born. A sequel to Baby on Board.

Four young wizards receive invitations to a school that is located under Lake Superior! What? Don't LOOK at me like that, it's anti-Muggle security. Ahem, anyways, follow their adventures!

[Slash] In which the author parodies herself in a self-insertion Mary Sue-ish masterpiece after spending a little too much time reading certain journals and communities at LiveJournal.

Harry goes to the barren land of... Canada! Along the way he meets Doris-erm, Stockwell Day, Avril Lavigne and... Mike from Canmore! But why is everyone so mad at him?

A pregnant Luna requires a particular type of chocolate.

A short description of what Gilderoy sees after the "mishap" with Ron's wand in the Chamber of Secrets...

The Hogwarts faculty is bemused by the transfer students from Henson Academy.

Remus is ill and taken to St. Mungo's, but Sirius isn't allowed to visit him! The solution? Get a nurse's uniform. However, getting the uniform isn't actually the hard part.... (Mild SiriusRemus.)

Lily and her best friends Remus and Stella decide to play a game. Petunia gets annoyed and someone has an accident.

Sirius learns the hard way: don't drink and channel-surf. A bit of humor with Sirius, James, Lily, and a certain science-fiction television show.

Remus and Harry haven't talked much since the war ended, but is Remus ready to talk, of all things, gay sex with with the godson of the only man he's ever been with?